Poll: Xmas gift for bus driver or teacher?

[ramee]

DD came home from her 1st grade Christmas party a couple years ago a little upset. I didn't send her with a gift for her teacher, though told her she could make her something if she wanted to. She didn't want to (we found out later in the year that she was uncomfortable with her teacher due to repeated issues with the teacher not being approachable to students with questions and using sarcasm which the kids didn't understand and which made the kids feel like the teacher was making fun of them). But anyway, DD came home from the party and said that her teacher told all the kids who brought gifts to come sit on the carpet while she opened them, while those who didn't bring anything were given a worksheet to do at their desks. She said the teacher made a big deal about those kids and their gifts and DD and the other couple of kids at the desks felt very left out.

Then to make matters worse, over Christmas break, DD received a card in the mail from her teacher thanking her for the potted plant she gave her for Christmas. I asked DD if the class had together given the teacher a plant, but she said that another kid (who apparently the teacher frequently mixed up with DD despite their names and appearances being nothing alike) had given it to her. So then DD felt even worse for being thanked for something she didn't give and because her teacher had again mixed her up with another student, as well as because that other kid probably didn't receive a thank you card since it came to her.

So yeah, I wish they'd find a better way of giving teachers gifts that doesn't make the rest of the class feel awkward or inadequate.

That’s awful. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

I’d be fine with no gift giving but leaning towards homemade cards and cookies. Nothing extravagant. My daughter loves her teacher and I thought this would be good for her to learn appreciation and enjoy the spirit of Christmas.

It’s interesting reading everyone’s take on this. I don’t think I gave gifts to my teachers growing up. And honestly, I’d rather not set that precedence to gift to my kids teachers every year. I’ve got time to decide! I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. You feel like giving or you don’t.

 

[Shsmith341]

I am an elementary teacher. In the district that I work in, the head class parent typically collects money from parents for a joint gift. It is roughly about $30 per family. About 1/3 of the money is given to my aide. The gifts are usually a Visa giftcard for each of us. About 1/3 of the class gives an additional little gift on top of the collection. My children do not go to the school where I teach. I am usually the head class parent for their classes. I tell families that they can contribute any amount they are comfortable with. The contributions vary between $25-$50 per family. I use it to get a Visa giftcard from the class. I also spend about $30 per teacher in addition to my contribution to get a little something extra. My children do not ride on a bus. They have 3 teachers in their before-school program. I give them each a $10 giftcard. I also give gifts to the aides and paraprofessionals in their classes. I give a bottle of wine or chocolates to the principal and AP. I also give a little something to the secretaries in the office. I do not give to their specials teachers. We do the same thing for an end of the year gift.

 

[LSUmiss]

Weird that there’s no ‘no’ option.

This is not a thing in my area.. @ronandannette did you tip everyone when your son was in school?

DD came home from her 1st grade Christmas party a couple years ago a little upset. I didn't send her with a gift for her teacher, though told her she could make her something if she wanted to. She didn't want to (we found out later in the year that she was uncomfortable with her teacher due to repeated issues with the teacher not being approachable to students with questions and using sarcasm which the kids didn't understand and which made the kids feel like the teacher was making fun of them). But anyway, DD came home from the party and said that her teacher told all the kids who brought gifts to come sit on the carpet while she opened them, while those who didn't bring anything were given a worksheet to do at their desks. She said the teacher made a big deal about those kids and their gifts and DD and the other couple of kids at the desks felt very left out.

Then to make matters worse, over Christmas break, DD received a card in the mail from her teacher thanking her for the potted plant she gave her for Christmas. I asked DD if the class had together given the teacher a plant, but she said that another kid (who apparently the teacher frequently mixed up with DD despite their names and appearances being nothing alike) had given it to her. So then DD felt even worse for being thanked for something she didn't give and because her teacher had again mixed her up with another student, as well as because that other kid probably didn't receive a thank you card since it came to her.

So yeah, I wish they'd find a better way of giving teachers gifts that doesn't make the rest of the class feel awkward or inadequate.

This has always been my issue with it. I never had a teacher do anything this egregious. But, my sister & I went to private school in an area where public schools were not an option. It was always so stressful to me as a kid b/c all of my friends would bring presents for the teachers, but we could not afford to as my dad was a single parent of 2 kids in private school. So I always think about those kids who can’t afford it who feel awkward b/c they can’t participate.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

I am an elementary teacher. In the district that I work in, the head class parent typically collects money from parents for a joint gift. It is roughly about $30 per family. About 1/3 of the money is given to my aide. The gifts are usually a Visa giftcard for each of us. About 1/3 of the class gives an additional little gift on top of the collection. My children do not go to the school where I teach. I am usually the head class parent for their classes. I tell families that they can contribute any amount they are comfortable with. The contributions vary between $25-$50 per family. I use it to get a Visa giftcard from the class. I also spend about $30 per teacher in addition to my contribution to get a little something extra. My children do not ride on a bus. They have 3 teachers in their before-school program. I give them each a $10 giftcard. I also give gifts to the aides and paraprofessionals in their classes. I give a bottle of wine or chocolates to the principal and AP. I also give a little something to the secretaries in the office. I do not give to their specials teachers. We do the same thing for an end of the year gift.

Just curious... How many kids are in these classes where $30 each is the norm? DD has 28 kids in her 3rd grade class (standard at her school). That would be $560 for the teacher and $280 for the aide, plus any additional gifts. That just seems really high for a class gift.

 

[Shsmith341]

This has always been my issue with it. I never had a teacher do anything this egregious. But, my sister & I went to private school in an area where public schools were not an option. It was always so stressful to me as a kid b/c all of my friends would bring presents for the teachers, but we could not afford to as my dad was a single parent of 2 kids in private school. So I always think about those kids who can’t afford it who feel awkward b/c they can’t participate.

A group collection definitely helps with this. No one feels left out because they are not aware of who contributed and how much.

 

[Shsmith341]

Just curious... How many kids are in these classes where $30 each is the norm? DD has 28 kids in her 3rd grade class (standard at her school). That would be $560 for the teacher and $280 for the aide, plus any additional gifts. That just seems really high for a class gift.

We have 18-20 in a class.

 

[kimblebee]

Just curious... How many kids are in these classes where $30 each is the norm? DD has 28 kids in her 3rd grade class (standard at her school). That would be $560 for the teacher and $280 for the aide, plus any additional gifts. That just seems really high for a class gift.

Plus, what if your kid is in junior high and has six teachers a day? Plus lunch lady, plus principal, plus custodian plus plus plus. And, your have four kids? Out of control lol

 

[portocall]

My children have 8 teachers and 8 teacher assistants. Plus one has a bus driver. I don't like to leave anyone out but I don't want to break the bank either so we do chocolate bars at a dollar a piece. I've never heard anyone complain. If I'm aware a teacher doesn't like chocolate or is on a diet I get them a nice pen for grading papers.

As a teaching assistant, it is hurtful when a student brings in a big gift for the teacher and nothing for me. It isn't because I want gifts. I actually dont need or want anything (we both rather you spend it on your children than on us) but it is the look on the children's face. They usually have tears in their eyes and spend the whole class apologizing for it no matter how many times I tell them it doesn't matter and it is not an issue. But in my case I am as hands on with the teaching as the teacher but she does the lesson planning and data analysis I do the mundane tasks like grading all the papers and entering grades and data gathering during planning and my lunch. (Just how it is at our school) The kids view us equally even though the parents don't. I dread Christmas break for this reason alone.

 

[Shsmith341]

Plus, what if your kid is in junior high and has six teachers a day? Plus lunch lady, plus principal, plus custodian plus plus plus. And, your have four kids? Out of control lol

I think a lot may depend on where you live and what is typical for that area. In Westchester County, New York, most people I know give gifts to their mail carriers, recycle pick-up, co-workers, hairdressers, housekeepers, etc. My children spend most of their day with caring and supportive school staff. I like to show my appreciation for the way they all go above and beyond. If I could not budget for it, of course I wouldn't continue with the gifts.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Plus, what if your kid is in junior high and has six teachers a day? Plus lunch lady, plus principal, plus custodian plus plus plus. And, your have four kids? Out of control lol

Again, it's a personal decision. Most families just do the main teacher in elementary, and stop by middle school. As the school librarian who teaches classes, I know this is the case where I work.

 

[luvsJack]

When my kids were in grades K-5 we gave their teacher a small gift. Usually some homemade candy or cookies or an ornament. When they started having multiple teacher in grade 6, I would take a tray of cookies, a veg tray or a fruit tray for the teacher’s lounge or work room for all to share.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

The only gift I gave my teacher was my theme. The teacher gave me a home movie.

 

[Snowflakey]

I haven't read all the responses so I'm sorry if it was brought up. I know from first hand experience that coffee mugs, bath products and home baked goods a lot of times aren't used or kept. Most people have their favorite coffee mug and don't need to receive several each year (which is what happens). Bath products is a waste of money unless you truly know the teacher and what they use (if any). I don't recall any teachers who kept baked goods either - sadly you just don't know these days.

Best ideas are gift cards - Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Walmart, Target, Staples, VISA, etc.

 

[luvsJack]

I haven't read all the responses so I'm sorry if it was brought up. I know from first hand experience that coffee mugs, bath products and home baked goods a lot of times aren't used or kept. Most people have their favorite coffee mug and don't need to receive several each year (which is what happens). Bath products is a waste of money unless you truly know the teacher and what they use (if any). I don't recall any teachers who kept baked goods either - sadly you just don't know these days.

Best ideas are gift cards - Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Walmart, Target, Staples, VISA, etc.

I find that really sad about the baked goods.

When we had the child care center, we always looked forward to the home baked items and homemade candy. It was truly enjoyed by all the staff. We did share and didn’t always take it home but it was much appreciated and enjoyed.

I guess we are lucky in that my kids went to a community school. I knew the teachers and the administrators. Went to church with a lot of them, went to high school with a few. So they knew us well enough to know they didn’t have to worry about the homebaked items.

Also, some kids can’t afford even the $10 gc. A big batch of sugar cookies can be made with ingredients usually on hand and just a few for each teacher/bus driver/whoever can be a nice little Christmas “happy”.

 

[mjkacmom]

Plus, what if your kid is in junior high and has six teachers a day? Plus lunch lady, plus principal, plus custodian plus plus plus. And, your have four kids? Out of control lol

It usually stops here once they get to middle school.

 

[Hikergirl]

Plus, what if your kid is in junior high and has six teachers a day? Plus lunch lady, plus principal, plus custodian plus plus plus. And, your have four kids? Out of control lol

By Junior high there really aren't any class parents to take up collections for every single class your child takes.
They are usually just in elementary school. When I was a class parent we asked for $5 from each kid if there was 1 teacher, $10 if there was more. Every child signed the card, even if they didn't contribute any money towards the gifts.
Hardly out of control, gifts or donations for gifts aren't a requirement. If a parent wants to give a gift to every single teacher their child had from Kindergarten to Senior year in HS who cares. You seem really upset about something that doesn't even concern you.

 

[aprilgail]

Lol.

I like to bake, as well. That’s on my radar.

Almost every teacher I knows will not eat anything homemade that people send in- I remember my brother coming home and tossing them all too.
In grade school they usually did a collection in the class of like 5.00 a kid and bought something for the teacher but I always sent in something on our own too(as did many people). I also gave the bus driver a gift every year. For the class gift they would sign it "from your class"-not list the names since there was always 1 or 2 that didn't contribute and they didn't want them to be singled out on a card.
Once my daughter got to Jr & Sr high she would have her favorite teachers she liked that she would bring something in for-usually one or 2 per year until Senior year, that year was thank you gifts to the teachers that wrote the letters of recommendation for college, her guidance counselor who helped us immensely, the vice principal who also was a great help with college things and a teacher or two she was very close with.

 

[Turksmom]

I haven't read all the responses so I'm sorry if it was brought up. I know from first hand experience that coffee mugs, bath products and home baked goods a lot of times aren't used or kept. Most people have their favorite coffee mug and don't need to receive several each year (which is what happens). Bath products is a waste of money unless you truly know the teacher and what they use (if any). I don't recall any teachers who kept baked goods either - sadly you just don't know these days.

Best ideas are gift cards - Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Walmart, Target, Staples, VISA, etc.

Gift cards are nice, but they can get expensive. My aunt is a retired school teacher. She has and uses every coffee mug that was given to her and remembers the students who gave them. I'm a former teacher and have enough ornaments to decorate an entire tree. I love them all and my kids love to hear the stories of the students who gave them to me. I also loved every personal note and picture that I was given. And YOLO, so I ate the cookies.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Oh goodness. I did not think of all the other teachers...

That would be a lot of people and put us over “budget”.

A card made by the kids is fine! (One year, we made bookmarks to put in them, and I found out years later the librarian still uses hers. )

When DD was in school we did her main classroom teacher only. She didn't have a bus driver, so no worries there.

When I was teaching I never expected anything, but I was always happy to have a gift card to DunkinDonuts or Starbucks, even if only for $5. That's enough for me to get a calorie-laden yummy coffee that I couldn't otherwise justify if I was paying OOP, hahaha! If you are worried about all the other teachers, I am a fan of "something" for the teachers' room. It's always nice to go in and find some treat- Munchkins, cookie tray/veggie tray/fruit tray from Sam's, big bag of mini-chocolate treats (Hershey mini kisses, for example), whatever. It doesn't have to be much of anything at all... teachers and staff just like feeling appreciated, and a little snack always brightens my day!

Also a good idea! One year we did a candy barrel in the lounge, and another year, a "help yourself" supply basket.

We had a cute idea.from a friend that worked well last year for all those "should I" gifts, it was a $2 scratchie with some chocolate coins and a little note that said I won the lottery getting you as my....insert bus driver
Barely costs anything but gives some thanks

Adorable!!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Almost every teacher I knows will not eat anything homemade that people send in- I remember my brother coming home and tossing them all too.
In grade school they usually did a collection in the class of like 5.00 a kid and bought something for the teacher but I always sent in something on our own too(as did many people). I also gave the bus driver a gift every year. For the class gift they would sign it "from your class"-not list the names since there was always 1 or 2 that didn't contribute and they didn't want them to be singled out on a card.
Once my daughter got to Jr & Sr high she would have her favorite teachers she liked that she would bring something in for-usually one or 2 per year until Senior year, that year was thank you gifts to the teachers that wrote the letters of recommendation for college, her guidance counselor who helped us immensely, the vice principal who also was a great help with college things and a teacher or two she was very close with.

I can see if it's a school rule on homemade but otherwise I guess it would depend on what food items they were getting.

All my teachers over all my years of being in school absolutely clamoured for my mom's chocolate chip cookies. There was no throwing away ever.

So is the issue you know from teachers is that they don't like what the kids bring or they don't feel it's safe to eat what the kids bring?