Poll: Xmas gift for bus driver or teacher?

[mummabear]

Another thing to note is that here Christmas is the end of the school year as well, so it's as much for thanks for the year as for Christmas.

 

[monsterkitty]

I'm a teacher in a low-income district. We do not expect gifts but we greatly appreciate them, especially just notes from the kids. The parents I have who usually give gifts give me things for my classroom like pencils, Kleenex, Clorox wipes, etc.

We are not allowed to accept homemade food items.

Notes from our students are the best!

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

I haven't yet given gifts to DD's teachers or bus driver. So far, she hasn't had a teacher that I've particularly liked. Her school puts up a Sign Up Genius page with all of the teachers requests for Christmas gifts, which usually include larger $ gift cards, so it just seems like a bit of a money grab to me and in poor taste.

She's also had 3 or more bus drivers every year- they don't tend to last long. We've had several issues including the bus clipping a car mirror and police being called, making the bus 45 mins late coming home... Which we only found out about after I called the bus garage to see why DD's bus was so late. She was also "forgotten" on the bus last year when she fell asleep so the driver skipped her stop and didn't realize she was there until again, after I called the bus garage.

If we had great teachers and drivers, I'd happily gift them something, but I'm not going to do it out of a sense of obligation to someone that barely does the minimum.

 

[kimblebee]

Why can't the line be "as many people as I want and am able to give gifts to"?

I don't think anyone's ever looked around and thought "You know, there's just too much kindness and generosity in the world today. Better dial it back..."

I’m all for kindness and generosity. There should be more in the world. I am just wondering why a teacher deserves a tip/gift and not the person who gives you your coffee every morning in the drive thru window.

This is not against any one person, I’m just curious.

 

[ramee]

I’m all for kindness and generosity. There should be more in the world. I am just wondering why a teacher deserves a tip/gift and not the person who gives you your coffee every morning in the drive thru window.

This is not against any one person, I’m just curious.

There’s definitely a difference in the quantity and quality of time a teacher spends with my child than anyone else (not in her family) that would making them more “deserving” of a small Christmas gift. They are playing a big role in shaping the person she is and will become.

 

[scoutie]

I’m all for kindness and generosity. There should be more in the world. I am just wondering why a teacher deserves a tip/gift and not the person who gives you your coffee every morning in the drive thru window.

This is not against any one person, I’m just curious.

if the person who gives me coffee has also nurtured, loved, helped with mental help issues, educated, attended my sporting or music events, and worried about me....I would. If my experience with a teacher/barista/garbage person/stylist was largely negative I wouldn’t. I don’t understand the “where do you draw the line” questions. Give a gift or don’t. Draw the line where you want. It’s never expected.

 

[serenitynow]

I gift any teacher and bus driver that has to spend time with our enthusiastic, tightly wound and talkative sweet little “angels” (ha!). I know that their very large personalities, which evidently runs through our DNA, makes dealing with them everyday sometimes a challenge. I have the littles help with the gifts. This year it’s a cute mug from Dollar General that we filled with hot cocoa packets, Christmas candy, chocolate covered spoons, that they helped make and ornaments from Hobby Lobby that say special teacher or Merry Christmas (which only cost $1.00 each).

We can make these gifts for around $5.00 a piece and the kids are really hands on in the whole giving back lesson.

I think the giving of the gifts to the people that “serve” their lives on a daily basis, like teachers and bus drivers, is a good opportunity for the kids to learn gratitude and appreciation. It’s an inexpensive way to say thank you for being part of the village that is helping to turn these wild and woolly little creatures into functional members of society.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I’m all for kindness and generosity. There should be more in the world. I am just wondering why a teacher deserves a tip/gift and not the person who gives you your coffee every morning in the drive thru window.

This is not against any one person, I’m just curious.

Well, whether you mean to or not, you're definitely not coming across as "just curious."

Many in the US extend gift-giving far beyond family and friends. While I can't possibly give you an exhaustive list of who every person gives to, many have already been mentioned. I can say that, in addition to my kids' teachers (including art, music, etc.,) I've given to bus drivers, private music teachers, my trainer at the gym, my son's karate teacher, the office staffs at our pediatrician and dentist, my assistant at work, the secretaries at not only work but also my kids' elemdntary school, my hairdresser, and probably others I can't think of off the top of my head. Depending on the person/position, the gifts have varied in amount and effort. And I don't necessarily do each of those every year, either.

In short, there is no official "line." It's different for everyone.

 

[dotfurio]

When the kids were young I automatically got a gift for the teacher. Usually a gift card along with whatever the kids wanted to give them (ie an ornament, candle, the dreaded coffee mug lol). As the kids get older and have multiple teachers I usually let them decide if they want to get anyone anything. ODD hasn't given any of her teachers a gift since 8th grade. This is the first year YDD has multiple teachers so we'll see. I do always get something for their private music teachers and for YDDs after school teachers.

We've only had a bus driver one year DD was overflowed to another school. I never thought of giving them anything, although in hindsight it would've been a nice gesture.

 

[kuhltiffany]

Definitely not a US thing, I'm in Ontario and have moved around Eastern and Western Ontario, it's here too!

A lot of folks here gift their hairdressers at Christmas, or anyone they regularly get services from. Babysitters and cleaning ladies, too. Most people I know gift teachers, and even collect money for a gift from the class. Maybe it’s a US thing, but I believe it’s the norm.

 

[pooh2001]

Gift card
$10 gift card to Dunkin Donuts, or maybe a local food store would always be appreciated

 

[allison443]

I think the giving of the gifts to the people that “serve” their lives on a daily basis, like teachers and bus drivers, is a good opportunity for the kids to learn gratitude and appreciation.

This was always a big part of it for me, when my kids were young. Normally we contributed to a class group gift (optional, in any amount you cared to give) but my kids always enjoyed writing a special card and giving a little gift just from them.

 

[sk!mom]

I'm a teacher in a low-income district. We do not expect gifts but we greatly appreciate them, especially just notes from the kids. The parents I have who usually give gifts give me things for my classroom like pencils, Kleenex, Clorox wipes, etc.

We are not allowed to accept homemade food items.

Notes from our students are the best!

Hmmm, not being allowed to accept homemade food seems like an odd rule. I wouldn't eat homemade food from someone that I didn't know well but it seems overstepping to tell an adult that they can't accept it.

I’m all for kindness and generosity. There should be more in the world. I am just wondering why a teacher deserves a tip/gift and not the person who gives you your coffee every morning in the drive thru window.

This is not against any one person, I’m just curious.

You really do not seem "just curious." For me, the people who spent time with my children nurturing and helping them in my absence warranted a thanks. They each had one or two that we didn't gift as they were the opposite and made the time spent with them difficult.

Do you really equate a teacher who spends 30-35 hours a week with your child to the deli guy or the barista who hands you sliced meet or a coffee on occasion?

 

[ronandannette]

Weird that there’s no ‘no’ option.

This is not a thing in my area.. @ronandannette did you tip everyone when your son was in school?

At Christmas - I don't really remember ever doing so and if I did it certainly never included the bus driver. There were a few special teachers during DS's elementary years that we gave a little something to at the end of the school year. Once or twice I remember a real keen mom taking up a collection for a group gift and we always contributed something when that happened. I sent flowers to DS's grade 12 math teacher after his graduation. The woman pretty much single-handedly dragged him across the finish line and a medal of valor would have been more appropriate than roses.

Well, teachers here start at around $45,000 and go up to six figures, plus have pretty decent benefits packages.

Teachers are very well compensated here also, as they should be. A gift as a token of appreciation would be just that - not intended to supplement their income.

 

[gotomu212]

My son’s school has prohibited gifts other than homemade notes and hand drawn pictures. There’s a really big income spread and it was a little ridiculous with some kids giving elaborate $75 gift baskets and other kids who weren’t even getting Christmas gifts at home. The school felt like those kids who couldn’t give felt left out and bad that they were unable to gift while some of the bigger gift parents felt somewhat entitled.

Instead they do keep a list of books and school supplies that teachers could use if you would like to make a class donation at any point during the year.

 

[pooh2001]

I am a teacher at a daycare center (4-5 year olds)
Low pay - and I love gift cards

 

[serenitynow]

My son’s school has prohibited gifts other than homemade notes and hand drawn pictures. There’s a really big income spread and it was a little ridiculous with some kids giving elaborate $75 gift baskets and other kids who weren’t even getting Christmas gifts at home. The school felt like those kids who couldn’t give felt left out and bad that they were unable to gift while some of the bigger gift parents felt somewhat entitled.

Instead they do keep a list of books and school supplies that teachers could use if you would like to make a class donation at any point during the year.

This list of books and supplies needed is a great idea. Think how proud the children would be to have gifted a book to the class!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I’m curious why no one one gifts teachers in your area?

Things are different than they were when I was a kid, mostly because I used to bring my mom's chocolate chip cookies in for class as an expectation lol especially on my birthday and would even get extra credit in french class in high school for that reason (nowadays homemade probably is discouraged if not outright not allowed though I haven't looked up the actual rules for the schools assigned to my house).

But I would say at least from what I remember my mom nor my dad sent me to school with a gift for my teachers. Maybe they did when I was too young to remember but I don't ever remember me specifically gifting teachers for Christmas.

I'm certaintly not opposed to the idea just giving my experience.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

One thing I have become of aware of DIS is the wide difference in teacher salaries in our nation. So I can see a monetary gift being more acceptable in areas with below average teacher salaries.

I do agree there are wide variances in teacher's salaries for sure. But I would also say that for some people they may be thinking "gee how underpaid those teachers are" but I don't think everyone does at least not the specific salary a person's child has and their salary. Salaries vary depending on the area in just how they are calculated. My aunt, an elementary teacher who is retiring this year, makes far more than a teacher just starting out but it also depends on one's credentials and degrees. Now maybe the thought process is the average pay is too low regardless of the calculation of the salaries is done but again that could just be a guestimate.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

My son’s school has prohibited gifts other than homemade notes and hand drawn pictures. There’s a really big income spread and it was a little ridiculous with some kids giving elaborate $75 gift baskets and other kids who weren’t even getting Christmas gifts at home. The school felt like those kids who couldn’t give felt left out and bad that they were unable to gift while some of the bigger gift parents felt somewhat entitled.

Instead they do keep a list of books and school supplies that teachers could use if you would like to make a class donation at any point during the year.

DD came home from her 1st grade Christmas party a couple years ago a little upset. I didn't send her with a gift for her teacher, though told her she could make her something if she wanted to. She didn't want to (we found out later in the year that she was uncomfortable with her teacher due to repeated issues with the teacher not being approachable to students with questions and using sarcasm which the kids didn't understand and which made the kids feel like the teacher was making fun of them). But anyway, DD came home from the party and said that her teacher told all the kids who brought gifts to come sit on the carpet while she opened them, while those who didn't bring anything were given a worksheet to do at their desks. She said the teacher made a big deal about those kids and their gifts and DD and the other couple of kids at the desks felt very left out.

Then to make matters worse, over Christmas break, DD received a card in the mail from her teacher thanking her for the potted plant she gave her for Christmas. I asked DD if the class had together given the teacher a plant, but she said that another kid (who apparently the teacher frequently mixed up with DD despite their names and appearances being nothing alike) had given it to her. So then DD felt even worse for being thanked for something she didn't give and because her teacher had again mixed her up with another student, as well as because that other kid probably didn't receive a thank you card since it came to her.

So yeah, I wish they'd find a better way of giving teachers gifts that doesn't make the rest of the class feel awkward or inadequate.