I get it was my choice as well as dhs

[Pacolovestacos]

I don't think he meant any snark or insult with his reply. What I think he means (sorry Low-key if I'm wrong), is that just because you don't have any disabilities doesn't mean that you children "Will turn out great". Yeah, yours did, and that is wonderful, but not everyone does. And I don't get how your daughter's research is relevant to this discussion.

"next time someone you love has to get treatment for cancer" Seriously? Where did that come from?

Well said, and I didn't understand the part about cancer research either. A little braggadocio perhaps.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

I had my vasectomy in 1997 and my wife had to sign a release. This was in Ohio and explained that some spouses could/would have it done without spousal knowledge. Not my idea of a "weekend away!"

So I guess the moral of the story is just tell the doctor that you're single.

 

[jevs]

Not sure what the first part means, but to the second part, well, she asked for input on a message board. And BTW, my kids did turn out great - next time someone you love has to get treatment for cancer, you can thank my older daughter for the work she's done in cancer research to find the best combination of drugs to fight specific cancers.
.

I'm sure he thanks them everyday...

And to quote GDD 'I can't even...'

 

[Southernmiss]

Easy to say when you have 4, that is not really any comfort to someone who really wants a baby and can't (can't for whatever reason)

I didn't intend for my comment to be insensitive. I apologize if it came across that way.

Tink has said they knew it was not advised that they have children, that's why he had a vasectomy.

I just wanted to note that babies are exhausting and the cuteness and warm fuzzies of a baby, child, teen can turn to reality of overwhelming work pretty quickly.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

For permanent birth control (ie tubes tied) many doctors and hospitals require husbands to consent and often have them have a separate meeting with the doctor to make sure they really understand. It has been declared illegal in several state and federal law suits, but that doesn't prevent doctors from either denying the treatment or requiring the consent. Since many people just want it done, they just sign it.
Also try having a tubal done "too young". A friend went to a dozen doctors before she found one that would do a tubal in her early 20s. They gave her every excuse - too young, she would change her mind, what if she got married again etc etc. She was a divorced mother with a full-time job and health insurance.

I had a tubal with my 2nd kid and my ob went over it with me. Said it's not like the movies where it can be reversed etc. they even asked again right before the c section. But I don't remember dh signing anything.

 

[DaisyJ]

Please tell me you're kidding about this.

I had to sign a consent form when DH had his vasectomy 16 years ago, at a Catholic hospital, saying I was aware of what he was doing and was in agreement.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

I had to sign a consent form when DH had his vasectomy 16 years ago, at a Catholic hospital, saying I was aware of what he was doing and was in agreement.

I'm surprised this surgery was offered at a catholic hospital. I wonder if that is the common thread among those that had to have spouse sign a consent form?

Hmmm, I don't remember making a promise to procreate in my wedding vows. I'm really stumped, more shocked really, that a spouse's consent is required. Learn something new every day I guess.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Hmmm, I don't remember making a promise to procreate in my wedding vows. I'm really stumped, more shocked really, that a spouse's consent is required. Learn something new every day I guess

I guess I don't know how much of a problem I have with it. If you're married, it is a discussion you SHOULD have with your spouse, regardless of it being your body, especially since it goes both ways. If it was just vasectomy operations or just tubal ligations, that would be something different, but since consent seems to be required on both ends, I guess it is okay.

I mean, I'm probably looking at this from a very close minded perspective. I wouldn't get a tubal ligation without agreement from my husband because it effects both of us. But, in certain situations, like if an abusive spouse keeps getting his wife pregnant intentionally, she would have no choice.

Nevermind, I've changed my mind during the course of this conversation. Consent from a spouse shouldn't be required, but in loving relationships it absolutely should be discussed.

 

[kimblebee]

I'm going for my pre op appointment in a few weeks for my hysterectomy. I'll let you know if I have to get my husbands permission. It's at a non religious hospital..

 

[DaisyJ]

I'm surprised this surgery was offered at a catholic hospital. I wonder if that is the common thread among those that had to have spouse sign a consent form?

Hmmm, I don't remember making a promise to procreate in my wedding vows. I'm really stumped, more shocked really, that a spouse's consent is required. Learn something new every day I guess.

I was quite put off that he required my "permission" to have something done to his body, but when I asked what happened if I refused to sign, they told me they wouldn't do the procedure. I pointed out I was AT the appointment with him, so I was obviously aware of what he was doing. I don't think written consent should be required from either partner, but it is something that should be discussed and decided upon with your partner, in most cases.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

I guess I don't know how much of a problem I have with it. If you're married, it is a discussion you SHOULD have with your spouse, regardless of it being your body, especially since it goes both ways. If it was just vasectomy operations or just tubal ligations, that would be something different, but since consent seems to be required on both ends, I guess it is okay.

I mean, I'm probably looking at this from a very close minded perspective. I wouldn't get a tubal ligation without agreement from my husband because it effects both of us. But, in certain situations, like if an abusive spouse keeps getting his wife pregnant intentionally, she would have no choice.

Nevermind, I've changed my mind during the course of this conversation. Consent from a spouse shouldn't be required, but in loving relationships it absolutely should be discussed.

I was quite put off that he required my "permission" to have something done to his body, but when I asked what happened if I refused to sign, they told me they wouldn't do the procedure. I pointed out I was AT the appointment with him, so I was obviously aware of what he was doing. I don't think written consent should be required from either partner, but it is something that should be discussed and decided upon with your partner, in most cases.

Yes, I should have also mentioned in any healthy marriage that discussion should have taken place before contacting a doctor/surgeon. I'm guessing for most it has been agreed to by both husband and wife and signing the consent form is nothing more than a formality. I would certainly hope my spouse would seek my opinion before electing to have this type of surgery, but I certainly wouldn't want my permission to be required.

 

[Cheetie]

I'm surprised this surgery was offered at a catholic hospital. I wonder if that is the common thread among those that had to have spouse sign a consent form?

Hmmm, I don't remember making a promise to procreate in my wedding vows. I'm really stumped, more shocked really, that a spouse's consent is required. Learn something new every day I guess.

I'm surprised a Catholic hospital would offer the procedure as well. I wanted to have a tubal ligation after my last was born since I was having a c-section. The hospital wasn't Catholic, but it was built on land that had been bought from the Catholic Church, and part of the sales agreement was no surgeries for birth control.

You don't make a promise to procreate, but "willingly accept children" or something like that.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

Given the OP's oprevious posts, unless her mental state and maturity level has drastically changed, I don't think she would even qualify to adopt, nor should she be considering it.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Aren't they reversible if the down the road you both agree?

It's not that simple. You undo surgery by repairing the vas deferens. But depending on the amount of time from the first surgery, sperm may no longer be able to be produced, or not at an optimum count. This could lead to in vetro.

 

[L&Lfan]

My boyfriend and I never wanted children. I think he would probably make a great Dad, but I know I'd be a lousy one. I admit I'm too selfish. I don't even want a dog...

 

[FlightlessDuck]

We regret it on occasion. My wife honestly more than me. It was a decision we came to together after the birth of our second child. But, we had children so young, that now we are looking at being empty nesters at 45. So, we've considered adoption. We've considered foster care. But at this point (now we are both almost 41), we probably aren't going to raise another child. Adopting a baby at this age when we are paying for two teenagers to get through college? And then see that baby graduate high school when we are almost 60? I think we're done at this point.

We adopted a dog two years ago, though. That's like having a perpetual toddler.

 

[Gracie09]

I'm surprised a Catholic hospital would offer the procedure as well. I wanted to have a tubal ligation after my last was born since I was having a c-section. The hospital wasn't Catholic, but it was built on land that had been bought from the Catholic Church, and part of the sales agreement was no surgeries for birth control.

You don't make a promise to procreate, but "willingly accept children" or something like that.

I would think that would depend on the vows that you took during the ceremony.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I meant to say upthread that I understand that it is selfish of me to want to bring a disabled child into this world and hardly anyone can say that they have exprenced every life exprence and I well be happy with the life experiences (sp) I have had

 

[eeyoreandtink]

I would think that would depend on the vows that you took during the ceremony.

We have a LOT of Catholic family so I have been to many Catholic weddings. A wedding is a sacrament in the Catholic faith and so must follow certain standards. From what I understand it, for churches that follow the tenets of the faith as written, this is a requirement.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I meant to say upthread that I understand that it is selfish of me to want to bring a disabled child into this world and hardly anyone can say that they have exprenced every life exprence and I well be happy with the life experiences (sp) I have had

That sounds like a good attitude to have. Nobody can do/have everything. Better to appreciate what you do have, than focus on what will never be. A lot of people never learn that lesson!