I get it was my choice as well as dhs

[PrincessShmoo]

I get it dh and I would not make good parents

I don't think anyone said that.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Sorry I misread (sp) the replays the ones saying adoption is not in the cards for us

Misunderstanding on my part

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Sorry I misread (sp) the replays the ones saying adoption is not in the cards for us

Misunderstanding on my part

If adoption is something you're interested in, you should see if DH likes the idea as well. If the both of you want it, don't give up on adoption just because some people on a message board tell you not to.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Just a comment on the "we" debate...When DH got his vasectomy I had to sign a paper to give him permission. I thought that was pretty funny since it's his body. So I guess in our case it is more of a "we" lol.

That actually sounds illegal given that women don't need signed consent from a husband to access reproductive health services.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

If adoption is something you're interested in, you should see if DH likes the idea as well. If the both of you want it, don't give up on adoption just because some people on a message board tell you not to.

While I'm sure OP would love a child, I wouldn't encourage her to look in to adoption. OP has been around for a long time and has been open about their disabilities. Knowing what she has posted, they would not be candidates for adoption.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

That actually sounds illegal given that women don't need signed consent from a husband to access reproductive health services.

Sounds more like something the doctor might have wanted that states the wife is aware her husband is doing it. So she can't turn around and sue the doctor for something like "alienation of affection". Like the husband was enlisting the doctor to do something they hadn't discussed together.

Even if it is his body.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Thanks everyone for your input

 

[phorsenuf]

I get it dh and I would not make good parents

Where are you getting that from? Nobody said that.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Where are you getting that from? Nobody said that.

I said upthread that I misread and apologized

 

[Gracie09]

That actually sounds illegal given that women don't need signed consent from a husband to access reproductive health services.

For permanent birth control (ie tubes tied) many doctors and hospitals require husbands to consent and often have them have a separate meeting with the doctor to make sure they really understand. It has been declared illegal in several state and federal law suits, but that doesn't prevent doctors from either denying the treatment or requiring the consent. Since many people just want it done, they just sign it.
Also try having a tubal done "too young". A friend went to a dozen doctors before she found one that would do a tubal in her early 20s. They gave her every excuse - too young, she would change her mind, what if she got married again etc etc. She was a divorced mother with a full-time job and health insurance.

 

[dotfurio]

Sounds more like something the doctor might have wanted that states the wife is aware her husband is doing it. So she can't turn around and sue the doctor for something like "alienation of affection". Like the husband was enlisting the doctor to do something they hadn't discussed together.

Even if it is his body.

Yes, I think it was this. I don't know the legalities, but knowing he was married the dr insisted on this before perfoming the procedure. I suppose he always could have said he was single.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

Just a comment on the "we" debate...When DH got his vasectomy I had to sign a paper to give him permission. I thought that was pretty funny since it's his body. So I guess in our case it is more of a "we" lol.

Please tell me you're kidding about this.

 

[sonnyjane]

While I'm sure OP would love a child, I wouldn't encourage her to look in to adoption. OP has been around for a long time and has been open about their disabilities. Knowing what she has posted, they would not be candidates for adoption.

This. No disrespect to the OP, but those commenting should be aware of context. Until recently, OP was still very dependent on her own parents (And may still be. She doesn't post as often). Financially, I don't know that OP is capable of supporting children based on previous posts, and while not a requirement to be a parent, I don't believe OP has a vehicle (other than a golf cart) nor has a license to drive. These are all complications that need to be considered, and while they don't exclude her from being able to parent, it's not a cut and dry "if you can't have kids, just adopt!" answer.

 

[RedAngie]

For permanent birth control (ie tubes tied) many doctors and hospitals require husbands to consent and often have them have a separate meeting with the doctor to make sure they really understand. It has been declared illegal in several state and federal law suits, but that doesn't prevent doctors from either denying the treatment or requiring the consent. Since many people just want it done, they just sign it.
Also try having a tubal done "too young". A friend went to a dozen doctors before she found one that would do a tubal in her early 20s. They gave her every excuse - too young, she would change her mind, what if she got married again etc etc. She was a divorced mother with a full-time job and health insurance.

I had my tubes tied immediately after giving birth to my second daughter (C-section) and exH had a vasectomy soon after. In both cases the doctors wanted a signed consent forms before they agreed to perform the procedures. This was back in 1993. I was 32 and he was 34. We were both done with having children and couldn't think of any circumstances where we'd change our minds. Not if we got divorced, not if one or both of our daughters should die young, nothing. We were finished.

 

[low-key]

I just want to add, that all of our children from us that have no disabilities , they have all turned out great , Tinker you guys get together and do what you want

 

[Turn the Page]

This. No disrespect to the OP, but those commenting should be aware of context. Until recently, OP was still very dependent on her own parents (And may still be. She doesn't post as often). Financially, I don't know that OP is capable of supporting children based on previous posts, and while not a requirement to be a parent, I don't believe OP has a vehicle (other than a golf cart) nor has a license to drive. These are all complications that need to be considered, and while they don't exclude her from being able to parent, it's not a cut and dry "if you can't have kids, just adopt!" answer.

I could be wrong but doesn't OP live in some sort of group home? If so, she would need to find out if children would even be allowed there or if they would have to find a new living situation.

 

[NFLDERS]

Yea I get that but I just think it sounds off. I would find it equally odd if a husband said that "we got our tubes tied."

Haven't read the whole thread yet but, I'm guessing someone has said "WE, are pregnant...

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I could be wrong but doesn't OP live in some sort of group home? If so, she would need to find out if children would even be allowed there or if they would have to find a new living situation.

I don't live in a group home

 

[Turn the Page]

I don't live in a group home

Sorry about that. My mistake.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

So now that the emotion is gone I am not sure how I feel I keep hearing adopt but there is a deeper issue I would save it for counciling (so) but I want more then one opion it is the biological factor what am I missing by not giving birth at least once and other mom functions