Skimpy Teen Clothing: Opinions?

[Lilogirl]

I'm sorry- I don't think I was being nasty. The word SLUT did not come from my mouth...it came from the mouth of the mother who thinks Hannah Montana is not G-rated. I understand that the board is to express opinions, and that is what I did. I do not think I was giving out gratuitous slaps at all, just making a point.

All in all- because I just get more irritated reading- I know my kids would not go out dressed like that. I know if they did, I would not expect another parent to make her change. I might expect the parent to mention it to me though. I do let my kids wear Hollister and Abercrombie, and I see nothing wrong with that. And I let them watch Hannah Montana...in fact 2 out of 3 of them have seen R Rated movies.....

But to some, you may come across as being the only one allowed to express an opinion. If another Mother thinks Hanna Montant is not G- rated there is no need to be snarky if all she does is express that opinion.

 

[NMAmy]

Modestly dressed maidens experiencing loves first kiss.....no bodily fluids exchanged and white weddings....truly subversive stuff!

The poster I quoted was saying that Hannah Montana showed a girl kissing a boy which is why I pointed out that most Disney movies focus on the same thing. Okay, I must admit that my dd is older so I've never seen Hannah Montana. But is a Disney show really showing characters really exchanging bodily fluids? And I certainly hope that Hannah Montana is considered a bit young to be getting married anytime soon.

And, as others have pointed out, Ariel, Jasmine, and Pocahontas are all wearing pretty skimpy clothing.

 

[badblackpug]

This girl was not 7, she was 15! Why the heck is mom tagging along, shopping with 15 year olds - just drop them off! BTW, my 5 and 7 year old dd's wear bikinis, and look adorable - I don't find anything sexual about little girls in bikinis - I'm guessing a pediphile would get off on a little girl in a little girl bathing suit before getting off on little girls in bikinis - too adult for him.

Seriously? I never "just drop" my kids off at the mall. Firstly, if I am paying for the clothes I get a say in what gets bought. Second: Malls in this area have a policy about unattended minors, after certain hours children under the age of 18 must be accompanied by an adult.

 

[mjkacmom]

Seriously? I never "just drop" my kids off at the mall. Firstly, if I am paying for the clothes I get a say in what gets bought. Second: Malls in this area have a policy about unattended minors, after certain hours children under the age of 18 must be accompanied by an adult.

Dd is only 12, so who knows how I will feel 3 years from now, but I was taking the bus to the mall at 15, and my next door neighbor's dd16 takes the bus to NYC to go shopping with friends. I'm guessing those hours not allowing minors are in the evening?

 

[vcgirl925]

This girl was not 7, she was 15! Why the heck is mom tagging along, shopping with 15 year olds - just drop them off! BTW, my 5 and 7 year old dd's wear bikinis, and look adorable - I don't find anything sexual about little girls in bikinis - I'm guessing a pediphile would get off on a little girl in a little girl bathing suit before getting off on little girls in bikinis - too adult for him.

I hate to say but i'm not sure if my 15 y/o will be allowed to go to the malls shopping by herself. Especially if she shows that she can't trusted with clothing choices. However if she did go with someone elses mom and bought something i didn't find appropriate, it would be returned.

 

[badblackpug]

Dd is only 12, so who knows how I will feel 3 years from now, but I was taking the bus to the mall at 15, and my next door neighbor's dd16 takes the bus to NYC to go shopping with friends. I'm guessing those hours not allowing minors are in the evening?

Kids "hanging out" at the malls around here have become a HUGE problem. Malls have started cracking down in unaccompanied minors. Yes, the hours are in the evening, but that doesn't make sense to me, because, as we all know, anything you can do in the dark, you can do in the light! I prefer that my kids are accompanied at the mall. I don't particularly like the behavior of some of the unaccompanied kids, and, generally, they are not shopping, they are just "hanging out." I just think it is too many unsupervised kids in a setting that is just too unstructured.
Also, I don't trust my teen to make appropriate clothing choices without me. That may just be my kid, but it is what it is.
Not to mention there is NO WAY I am sending MY kid out with a wad of cash, or worse yet, my credit card!

 

[vcgirl925]

I don't particularly like the behavior of some of the unaccompanied kids, and, generally, they are not shopping, they are just "hanging out." I just think it is too many unsupervised kids in a setting that is just too unstructured.

ITA. The unsupervised kids at malls are never behaving a way i'd expect my kids to behave. The same goes with movies. The teens that aren't supervised are always the ones acting up and ruining the movie for everyone else.

 

[mjkacmom]

Kids "hanging out" at the malls around here have become a HUGE problem. Malls have started cracking down in unaccompanied minors. Yes, the hours are in the evening, but that doesn't make sense to me, because, as we all know, anything you can do in the dark, you can do in the light! I prefer that my kids are accompanied at the mall. I don't particularly like the behavior of some of the unaccompanied kids, and, generally, they are not shopping, they are just "hanging out." I just think it is too many unsupervised kids in a setting that is just too unstructured.
Also, I don't trust my teen to make appropriate clothing choices without me. That may just be my kid, but it is what it is.
Not to mention there is NO WAY I am sending MY kid out with a wad of cash, or worse yet, my credit card!

Our malls are pretty upscale - I've never encountered unruly teens. My mom always sent me with a credit card, and I'll do the same, I guess - I have no problem returning something!

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

Our malls are pretty upscale - I've never encountered unruly teens. My mom always sent me with a credit card, and I'll do the same, I guess - I have no problem returning something!

Me too. My daughter is only 9, but my friends' daughters who are older (15 and up) all shop at the mall and local boutiques and go into the city, usually with mom's or dad's credit card. Although, my daughter and I LOVE to shop, and I'm sure will continue to as she gets older, I can very much see that she would love to go off with her girlfriends and shop and have lunch or dinner or catch a movie. It's a rite of passage in my opinion.

Fifteen years old and up is plenty old to be shopping without mom unless the child has a behavorial problem. I frequently have teens shop in my store (not a clothing store - it's a gift shop where we sell jewelry, accessories and other gift items) and they are a delight to watch. For some reason, they almost always travel in packs of three. They discuss, critique, make financial decisions, laugh, enjoy themselves, etc. it's a rite of passage.

Of course, if a teen oversteps their bounds (goes over budget, etc.) a parent should rein them in. But, hover over them during the process - I think it's a bit much.

It's no wonder so many teens today are stunted in their growth. They're not allowed to make any decisions on their own and learn the ramifications of those decisions. What are you all going to do when they go off to college? My daughter will be going to college at 17 years old (late birthday). I need to have all my work done with her by then so she can handle being ogled by boys and men (which happens to girls no matter how MUCH or how LITTLE clothing they have on), make proper financial decisions, make proper choices when it comes to drinking, sex, drugs, etc. I will not be there to take her clothes shopping or food shopping. I will not be there to do her laundry, help her pick out an outfit, decide whether or not she needs to wear a coat or a hat - she needs to learn these things here and now.

I have treated my sons this way (one's 20 the other 15) and I will treat my daughter this way. They need to learn to be independent, and selecting their clothes for them is the first way of taking away all feelings of independence.

I still think some of you make way too much out of teen's clothing choices. I really see it being more about control than anything else.

 

[mandysbus]

But who asked you? I may think that your clothes look terrible on you. Do I have a right to tell you? As for the older woman in a string bikini, maybe her dh does think she looks great. Maybe she feels great. Who is anyone to decide what is a good look for someone else? Maybe someone thinks that you look atrocious in your bathing suit or whatever outfit you have on. Would you feel great if someone decided to "tell you"? After all it could be considered constructive. I am not trying to flame you but I am using your post as an example. What you (a general you) consider attractive and appropriate is not what everyone else does.

As a matter of fact, some of my other neighbors asked my opinion and I felt the need to share. And If I am wearing something or have something on me that looks really horrible, I would hope someone would have the nerve to tell me. if you have a big hunk of spinach (or something) in your teeth, would yu want to know about it? or if you had a big lipstick smear, or mascera/eyeliner smear? Should I just assume that you know it looks like that and think looks great or should I tell you about it?

and there is a time and place for swimwear, out in the middle of my street is not it. Let me confirm that it is not normally the typical place for one to be strutting around in a swimsuit. nobody else does it. Just because people are free to wear pretty much whatever they want doesnt always mean they should. And this day and age, they make lots of cute swimwear for all ages and body styles (the same suit that looks so cute on that skinny 16 year old girl may not look so cute on a heavy 50 year old woman). I like to look good and I understand that not all styles look good on all body types. If I am wearing something very unflattering, feel free to let me know.

 

[rockonthemoon]

I'm 21 now, and when I was younger, my mom gave me and my sisters a pretty free reign on what to wear, how much makeup, how to do our hair, etc...

And you know what? I wore too much makeup at first, all of my sisters did, and we learned from example what was tasteful. We never had much of a problem with the clothing. We wouldn't be allowed to wear cut off jean shorts to church, but other than that, my mom trusted our judgement.

Boys are going to look at you no matter what. Parents that think that sending their kids to a school with uniforms is going to stop the looks, think again! School uniforms have become one of the most sexually charged images in our society. It is only the girl's responsibility to dress in something that makes HER feel good. She should not be dressing for the pleasing of men, and she should not have to censure herself to get away from the attetion.

What the mom should have done was taken the girl shopping anyway, and when they returned home, had a discussion with the girl's mother. Was it really going to hurt someone if the girl went shopping ONCE like that? If you take her, and the establish guidelines with the other parent, then at least that girl has previous warning. That lady probally embarassed that poor girl.

 

[NMAmy]

As a matter of fact, some of my other neighbors asked my opinion and I felt the need to share. And If I am wearing something or have something on me that looks really horrible, I would hope someone would have the nerve to tell me. if you have a big hunk of spinach (or something) in your teeth, would yu want to know about it? or if you had a big lipstick smear, or mascera/eyeliner smear? Should I just assume that you know it looks like that and think looks great or should I tell you about it?

and there is a time and place for swimwear, out in the middle of my street is not it. Let me confirm that it is not normally the typical place for one to be strutting around in a swimsuit. nobody else does it. Just because people are free to wear pretty much whatever they want doesnt always mean they should. And this day and age, they make lots of cute swimwear for all ages and body styles (the same suit that looks so cute on that skinny 16 year old girl may not look so cute on a heavy 50 year old woman). I like to look good and I understand that not all styles look good on all body types. If I am wearing something very unflattering, feel free to let me know.

There is a big difference between a best friend or sister telling a person that their clothing is unflattering and a total stranger doing the same thing (unless their name is Clinton or Stacy.) If an acquaintance or stranger made a comment about my clothing choices, I'd tell them to take a hike. If my sister told me, I'd take that more seriously and in the spirit it was intended.

There's also a difference between your spinach in the teeth analogy. That is something that has happened accidentally and was not intended. But if someone has chosen an article of clothing that they like and meant to wear--that's insulting their taste, not trying to be helpful by pointing out that they have spinach in their teeth.

 

[AbsoluteAwesome1]

14-year-old chiming in here.

I hate it when my friends wear skimpy clothing. It's stupid.
I'm sensible enough to cover myself up when in public.

I've only been in Abercrombie once in my life... uhh, I hate that place.
I have to wear a uniform next year at school. I don't really care. I'd like to be able to wear my band t-shirts and skinny jeans or whatever, but hey, it was my choice to go to the school that I'm going to.

As for shopping with my mom - heck yes! I actually like shopping with my mom. Except for the fact that she's scared of Hot Topic, it's fun. Lol.
Plus, it's the only way to avoid nasty stares from adults. :l

If I go to the mall with my friends, the store owners just glare at us the whole time, waiting for us to do something wrong. I hate the fact that because some teenagers can get unruly, all of us get the worst of it at the mall.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

As a matter of fact, some of my other neighbors asked my opinion and I felt the need to share. And If I am wearing something or have something on me that looks really horrible, I would hope someone would have the nerve to tell me. if you have a big hunk of spinach (or something) in your teeth, would yu want to know about it? or if you had a big lipstick smear, or mascera/eyeliner smear? Should I just assume that you know it looks like that and think looks great or should I tell you about it?

and there is a time and place for swimwear, out in the middle of my street is not it. Let me confirm that it is not normally the typical place for one to be strutting around in a swimsuit. nobody else does it. Just because people are free to wear pretty much whatever they want doesnt always mean they should. And this day and age, they make lots of cute swimwear for all ages and body styles (the same suit that looks so cute on that skinny 16 year old girl may not look so cute on a heavy 50 year old woman). I like to look good and I understand that not all styles look good on all body types. If I am wearing something very unflattering, feel free to let me know.

I kind of understand what you are getting at but I don't think you see where I am coming from. You want to be told if your clothing looks unflattering? Okay- so if I saw you in WDW and I didn't think your outfit was flattering would you like me to tell you? While we can think what we want I don't think it is very nice to always say what is on our mind.

 

[Karlzmom]

Modestly dressed maidens?! LOL Little Mermaid, Jasmine, Pocahontas, etc...

White weddings?! What in the heck does that mean?

Puhlease. I seriously think some of you take this clothing thing way too serious. I remember watching the Brady Bunch and those girls wore some seriously short skirts.

actually the least dressed of the disney heroines is still far more dressed that the average but-hanging-out-with-thong-showing-shirt-unbuttoned-to-there teen

By white weddings I was replying to someone making a comparison to the "love's first kiss & happily ever after" stories to some kind of a bump & grind style courtship that seems to be the typical on the airwaves in contemporary society. If someone can't tell the difference, well I don't think there is much that can be said.

 

[ehoops120912]

14-year-old chiming in here.

I hate it when my friends wear skimpy clothing. It's stupid.
I'm sensible enough to cover myself up when in public.

I've only been in Abercrombie once in my life... uhh, I hate that place.
I have to wear a uniform next year at school. I don't really care. I'd like to be able to wear my band t-shirts and skinny jeans or whatever, but hey, it was my choice to go to the school that I'm going to.

As for shopping with my mom - heck yes! I actually like shopping with my mom. Except for the fact that she's scared of Hot Topic, it's fun. Lol.
Plus, it's the only way to avoid nasty stares from adults. :l

If I go to the mall with my friends, the store owners just glare at us the whole time, waiting for us to do something wrong. I hate the fact that because some teenagers can get unruly, all of us get the worst of it at the mall.

I am 14 years old to! i mean i see girls my age with too short short's were if they bend down u see there Butts! i mean thats outragious!

 

[vcgirl925]

I'm happy to hear from the younger girls (14 y/o) that agree with teens dressing too skimpy. But i'm even happier to hear that there are teens that like to shop with their moms! LOL. I would have loved to shop with my mom when i was younger but my mom is a jean and tee type a woman who doesn't like shopping. My sil (24) and her mom are SO close and they have always shopped together. I'm hoping to have that kind of relationship with my kids.

Also someone mentioned that they are afraid for the kids who aren't allowed to make their own decisions, i'm afraid for those kids that don't have any rules. Life isn't about being able to do whatever you want when you want to do it. It's going to be a tough road for them when they find out they won't always get their way. My kids will be able to pick out their own clothes, but they have to fit into what we say is appropriate.

 

[badblackpug]

Me too. My daughter is only 9, but my friends' daughters who are older (15 and up) all shop at the mall and local boutiques and go into the city, usually with mom's or dad's credit card. Although, my daughter and I LOVE to shop, and I'm sure will continue to as she gets older, I can very much see that she would love to go off with her girlfriends and shop and have lunch or dinner or catch a movie. It's a rite of passage in my opinion.

Fifteen years old and up is plenty old to be shopping without mom unless the child has a behavorial problem. I frequently have teens shop in my store (not a clothing store - it's a gift shop where we sell jewelry, accessories and other gift items) and they are a delight to watch. For some reason, they almost always travel in packs of three. They discuss, critique, make financial decisions, laugh, enjoy themselves, etc. it's a rite of passage.

Of course, if a teen oversteps their bounds (goes over budget, etc.) a parent should rein them in. But, hover over them during the process - I think it's a bit much.

It's no wonder so many teens today are stunted in their growth. They're not allowed to make any decisions on their own and learn the ramifications of those decisions. What are you all going to do when they go off to college? My daughter will be going to college at 17 years old (late birthday). I need to have all my work done with her by then so she can handle being ogled by boys and men (which happens to girls no matter how MUCH or how LITTLE clothing they have on), make proper financial decisions, make proper choices when it comes to drinking, sex, drugs, etc. I will not be there to take her clothes shopping or food shopping. I will not be there to do her laundry, help her pick out an outfit, decide whether or not she needs to wear a coat or a hat - she needs to learn these things here and now.

I have treated my sons this way (one's 20 the other 15) and I will treat my daughter this way. They need to learn to be independent, and selecting their clothes for them is the first way of taking away all feelings of independence.

I still think some of you make way too much out of teen's clothing choices. I really see it being more about control than anything else.

As you said, your daughter is 9, so you don't know what is to come in the next 5-6 years. I am all for kids making choices within certain boundaries, but that is what guidance is all about. Set the limits and allow choices within those limits. You can choose to go shopping with me, and choose your clothing within my guidelines, you can let me do all your shopping for you, or you can go without.

I choose not to let my kids roam free in the mall, unaccompanied by adults. I also choose not to let my kids have free reign of my credit card. I will be the 1st one to admit that my 14 year old is irresponsible. I have enough trouble getting her to do homework! Managing a credit card? Agggh!

As a matter of fact, I don't know any parents who allow their children to shop alone. I enjoy shopping with my girls, and they have never complained about shopping with me. They may have complained that I wouldn't let them buy this or that, but amongst my kids and their friends it is pretty normal to clothes shop with your mom.

...and, yes, it IS about control. ...my house, my money, my child, I am in control.

 

[mjkacmom]

As you said, your daughter is 9, so you don't know what is to come in the next 5-6 years. I am all for kids making choices within certain boundaries, but that is what guidance is all about. Set the limits and allow choices within those limits. You can choose to go shopping with me, and choose your clothing within my guidelines, you can let me do all your shopping for you, or you can go without.

I choose not to let my kids roam free in the mall, unaccompanied by adults. I also choose not to let my kids have free reign of my credit card. I will be the 1st one to admit that my 14 year old is irresponsible. I have enough trouble getting her to do homework! Managing a credit card? Agggh!

As a matter of fact, I don't know any parents who allow their children to shop alone. I enjoy shopping with my girls, and they have never complained about shopping with me. They may have complained that I wouldn't let them buy this or that, but amongst my kids and their friends it is pretty normal to clothes shop with your mom.

...and, yes, it IS about control. ...my house, my money, my child, I am in control.

So, when is your child in control? When she turns 18, goes off to college, never given the chance to show any independence? At 15, she should have some control of her life. Where is she allowed to go, in public, without you? Movies? Street fairs? Sporting events? Dinner? I believe children need to gain some freedom, to learn how to behave in public, without guidance, in bits and pieces, to allow them to become confident adults. They also need the opportunity to screw up.

 

[Lilogirl]

So, when is your child in control? When she turns 18, goes off to college, never given the chance to show any independence? At 15, she should have some control of her life. Where is she allowed to go, in public, without you? Movies? Street fairs? Sporting events? Dinner? I believe children need to gain some freedom, to learn how to behave in public, without guidance, in bits and pieces, to allow them to become confident adults. They also need the opportunity to screw up.

It would seem you have a different parenting style from others on this thread. Some parents believe children learn by example, i.e they learn to behave in public with guidance. There is nothing wrong with that.

Some parents think it is ok to let children run wild with no supervision. And wait for them to "screw up". Different styles.