Skimpy Teen Clothing: Opinions?

[allison443]

Limited Too? Is too juvenile for a 12-year-old? I think they're perfectly appropriate for a child that young. What does your daughter wear??

My dd is almost 12, I don't think I have seen any of her friends in Limited Too clothing over the last year. I guess they outgrew it? The girls usually wear abercrombie (kids' store, not abercrombie and fitch), american eagle, hollister, or aeropostale. I think this probably varies depending where you live, though. From what I've seen those clothes are mainly t-shirts, tank tops, etc. Nothing too objectionable - maybe the prices

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't think "behooves" means what you think it means.



Where I draw the line is when I am responsible for you. If I'm responsible for you, I have the right to require you to follow certain standards. For example, if you're riding in my car, you wear your seatbelt. In this case, the woman was responsible for the child that day, and she had the right (IMHO) to say "whatever you want to wear on your own time is fine, but if you're going out with my family, we have certain rules." There is a huge difference between "ugly" and "inappropriate," so simply disliking Crocs isn't an issue. I would never tell another person's child to change before she went out with us because her clothing was not to my taste. But if I consider it inappropriate for that particular activity, it's my right to set the rules for the outing. Basically, the woman had the right to say "I'm not going to be seen with you in that outfit!"

It's illegal not to wear a seatbelt, legal to wear a halter top - not a good example either. I'm not a fan of nose rings - however, if my child had a friend with one, I would not make the friend remove it, just because I don't think it's appropriat.

 

[belle&beast]

My DD is going into 1st grade, so she still thinks my opinions are cool and we agree on clothing for the time being. I'm going to enjoy it for as long as I can! As far as the OP's question goes, I think I would want to talk to the frined's parents before asking their daughter to change. At this point, my DH and I are friends with my DD's friends' parents and we all have similar opinions about clothing. But this will probably change as kids get older and want to express themselves.

I have to disagree with people having more control over family members' clothing. Someone in my family dresses in clothing that borders on inappropriate due to tight fit not style- I think she wants to wear a smaller size. She dresses her daughter the same way- DH even notices that her clothes are too small (and he is not very observant.) Not like a growth spurt, just too tight, and it has been this way since she was very little. So I think I would really rock the boat if I said anything to them.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It could also be considered constructive criticizm, how are you gonna know if nobody tells you?

I have a neighbor lady who is probably in her 50's (has 3 grown children and 2 teens), is quite a plus sized lady, has quite a fake-bake tan and washes her car out along the street in a teeny tiny yellow string bikini (and nothing else). I dare one of you to say that that sounds flattering and in good taste. And this is not at the beach, pool or out in the country. we live in town with the Fire Co. club next door and the Police station beside that (the policemen have to stand outside to smoke so they just stand out there and shake their heads).

luckily she has mostly boys and her daughter (who is on the big side, herself) dressing for her figure (quite cute sometimes)

But who asked you? I may think that your clothes look terrible on you. Do I have a right to tell you? As for the older woman in a string bikini, maybe her dh does think she looks great. Maybe she feels great. Who is anyone to decide what is a good look for someone else? Maybe someone thinks that you look atrocious in your bathing suit or whatever outfit you have on. Would you feel great if someone decided to "tell you"? After all it could be considered constructive. I am not trying to flame you but I am using your post as an example. What you (a general you) consider attractive and appropriate is not what everyone else does.

 

[vcgirl925]

I did read her post. I see a mom who is afraid to let her children see someone kiss, like a PP said, almost every Disney movie has it too.

She said she let her dd's watch hannah montana and that they didn't like it. So she did let them watch it and decide for themselves.

I mean, jeesh, since I buy my kids clothes at Hollister I must NEVER let my kids join sports. No, I am much too busy teaching them how to be taken advantage of and abused because I am such a bad parent for buying clothes they feel good about wearing. My kids have taken dance, hockey, lacrosse, soccer, girl scouts, boy scouts....oh my! You could have one of my hooligans ON YOUR kids team! Oh my!

I never said you will have bad kids. My point was you said she was sheltering her children and clearly she is not. Making rules about what your kids can and can't wear is by no means sheltering them.

I also read

"besides dressing like sluts", "It is so laughable, all these parents", "MORONS!!!" Great adult speaking right there...is that post g- rated?

So you are faulting her for doing something that you did too. She doesn't like the way some people parent their kids and you don't like the way she parents hers. So you say something like "I feel sorry for your kids", you are doing exactly what she did.

 

[vcgirl925]

It could also be considered constructive criticizm, how are you gonna know if nobody tells you?

I have a neighbor lady who is probably in her 50's (has 3 grown children and 2 teens), is quite a plus sized lady, has quite a fake-bake tan and washes her car out along the street in a teeny tiny yellow string bikini (and nothing else). I dare one of you to say that that sounds flattering and in good taste. And this is not at the beach, pool or out in the country. we live in town with the Fire Co. club next door and the Police station beside that (the policemen have to stand outside to smoke so they just stand out there and shake their heads).

luckily she has mostly boys and her daughter (who is on the big side, herself) dressing for her figure (quite cute sometimes)

The difference is that she's an adult and has every right to dress badly. But maybe if someone told her as a young girl how to dress appropriately than she wouldn't be dressing so tastelessly now.

 

[Brynn]

my daughter is 11 and her bf wears shorts so short her cheeks hang out. We're very selective about our dd's clothing as well.
Have you tried Justice for girls. They're owned by limited too, the clothes are less expensive and have a younger look to them as well. My girls love that store.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

The difference is that she's an adult and has every right to dress badly. But maybe if someone told her as a young girl how to dress appropriately than she wouldn't be dressing so tastelessly now.

Again- it is not tasteless or bad dressing just because you or anyone else says so.

 

[tlbwriter]

It's illegal not to wear a seatbelt, legal to wear a halter top - not a good example either. I'm not a fan of nose rings - however, if my child had a friend with one, I would not make the friend remove it, just because I don't think it's appropriat.

But you do have the right to say "I'm not comfortable taking you shopping while you're wearing a nose ring" if you feel that way. You're not telling her she has to remove it. You're giving her a choice.

 

[tlbwriter]

My dd is almost 12, I don't think I have seen any of her friends in Limited Too clothing over the last year. I guess they outgrew it? The girls usually wear abercrombie (kids' store, not abercrombie and fitch), american eagle, hollister, or aeropostale. I think this probably varies depending where you live, though. From what I've seen those clothes are mainly t-shirts, tank tops, etc. Nothing too objectionable - maybe the prices

See, this confuses me. I see jeans, t-shirts, and tank tops at Limited Too. What's juvenile about that? We're not talking Gymboree here.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Oops, double post.

 

[DVC Sadie]

I don't think "behooves" means what you think it means.



Where I draw the line is when I am responsible for you. If I'm responsible for you, I have the right to require you to follow certain standards. For example, if you're riding in my car, you wear your seatbelt. In this case, the woman was responsible for the child that day, and she had the right (IMHO) to say "whatever you want to wear on your own time is fine, but if you're going out with my family, we have certain rules." There is a huge difference between "ugly" and "inappropriate," so simply disliking Crocs isn't an issue. I would never tell another person's child to change before she went out with us because her clothing was not to my taste. But if I consider it inappropriate for that particular activity, it's my right to set the rules for the outing. Basically, the woman had the right to say "I'm not going to be seen with you in that outfit!"

Great post, and ITA!

It would behoove me to back away from this thread.

 

[megan77]

Refusing to be seen in public with teens outlandishly (or inappropriately) dressed is one of the best weapons out there in the parenting arsenal, and I'm not about to give it up. If they have the right to be embarassed by my mere existance, then I have the right to be embarassed by their clothing and/or behaviour.
If you want me to provide the transport, you meet my standards for decency and/or grooming or you don't get to go.

WELL SAID!!!! Mom - is that you, LOL?!

 

[MusiqChic99]

I would have handled it differently by calling the mom and expressing how I felt weird about taking her daughter dressed like that. I would have been very nice about it though. I dont understand the way girls dress these days either. I'm thankful that I have a boy. But if I had a girl there would be no way I would ever let my daughter dress like that. There are standards a girl needs to know!!!

 

[NotUrsula]

Oh, boys can be offenders, too. The towns that are passing laws banning "low-riders" are not targeting girls, you know? (and there is an interesting question there, actually -- why is it somehow OK for a woman to wear pants that don't reach her hipbones, but not a man?) My super-skinny son is *NOT* allowed to go out with his underpants showing outside his clothes, and I go through his bags and closets to make sure that he doesn't own any pants that fit that way.

I personally think that the reality is that most of the time, when a young lady shows up outside of her home wearing clothing that fits and/or is cut in such a way that it fails to meet commonly accepted community decency standards, the odds are that her parents have NOT seen the outfit, or at least not seen it on her body. (Or as in someone else's post, they disapprove of it but feel powerless to stop it's being worn.)

We were all teens once: did none of you try to sneak clothes or makeup that your parents didn't approve of? I've always been a fairly conservative dresser for my time (I liked to wear suits when I was in HS in the 70's), but I'm what you might call well-endowed. The most flattering cut of shirt I can wear is something with a narrow deep-v neckline. Consequently, I've always preferred to leave the top TWO buttons of my shirts undone -- even though my Mom's rule was that only the top one could be undone. Every morning I left the house with that button done up, and when I got on the bus I unbuttoned it. Trust me, in a suit and 2" heels I got a lot of come-ons from men in their 30's who didn't realize that I was only 15.

My oldest sister did me one better back in the 50's -- she used to re-hem her skirt every single afternoon and did all of her own laundry so that my mom wouldn't know that she was letting the hems of her skirts DOWN to the more fashionable bobby-soxer length. (Bobby-soxers were supposed to be "fast", you know?) Mom found out when she was embarassed at an Altar Society meeting by someone who pointed out that her daughter had been seen at school emulating the bobby-soxers' style.

So, to answer someone's earlier question, if said teen were out shopping with me and wanted to buy clothes that were more of the same as what I'd insisted on changing from, my condition would be, "If your Mom (or Dad) tells me it's OK -- after I describe what it looks like on." Cell phones are wonderful inventions.

 

[Hubbleo]

If she was taking her on the outing she can have a say in how she is dressed.

 

[vcgirl925]

Again- it is not tasteless or bad dressing just because you or anyone else says so.

Well i guess you are missing my point. The point is not what she wears but that she is old enough to wear it. Which is different then the particular OP was talking about.

 

[vcgirl925]

Oh, boys can be offenders, too. The towns that are passing laws banning "low-riders" are not targeting girls, you know? (and there is an interesting question there, actually -- why is it somehow OK for a woman to wear pants that don't reach her hipbones, but not a man?) My super-skinny son is *NOT* allowed to go out with his underpants showing outside his clothes, and I go through his bags and closets to make sure that he doesn't own any pants that fit that way.

My son will have rules as to what he can and can't wear too.

 

[timzagain]

We've got three girls; one pre-teen and two teens. We have our fair share of skimpy clothes battles too. We live in a year round hot climate, so I try to have a balance between modesty, practicality, age-appropriateness and comfort!

Our rules are pretty simple:

1. No provocative messages on t-shirts
2. No cleavage
3. No too-tight, too short shorts or mini-skirts.
4. Definitely no butt cheeks
5. No leggings without a top that's long enough to keep your privates private!
6. If you have to ask if your clothes are too tight, too short or otherwise inappropriate, you already know the answer

We've also got an 18 year old boy. We've told the girls already - if your brother tells you to change your outfit, you should listen. He knows first hand all the kinds of things teenage boys will say/ think about girls and the way they dress.

If one of the girls' friends comes over or is getting a ride with me, and the outfit isn't up to standard, I have no problem telling them to change. And I hope that their friends' moms will do the same if my girls need a "wardrobe review" It's all about looking after their welfare!

Similarly, if my daughters are visiting or going out with a friend's family with stricter dress codes, my girls know that they are expected to respect the friends' house rules. A few hours of wearing a bit more cloth than normal won't kill them!

I have on occasion (low risk occasions) let my teen girls learn the hard way! You know how it goes..the old fossil aka Mom says the outfit is inappropriate, but the "hip young things" think they know everything. So I let them wear the inappropriate outfit, get the stares and the rude comments, then they learn the hard way that the Old Fossil was right after all! Embarassment is way more effective that maternal nagging, apparently.

 

[blabbermouth]

See, this confuses me. I see jeans, t-shirts, and tank tops at Limited Too. What's juvenile about that? We're not talking Gymboree here.

ITA with that. I'm from Canada so I didn't know exactly what limitedtoo was, so I went to check out the website. I'm 23 and I'd probably wear 1/2 the tops they show (I mean I'm not a big Jonas Bros fan or even know who they really are for that matter) and I don't think they're much different that what you find in "teen" stores more or less. How old are the models on the website?

I guess it's hard for me to judge, when I was 12-17 and in high school I was tiny, I don't think I could fit pants from American Eagle etc til I was probably 21. I mean I'm 5'2 and 110 lbs now, but I wasn't back then. I couldn't have worn "adult" clothes if I wanted to. But I guess girls are bigger now, so that's probably an issue too. If you're big enough to wear them, why can't you wear them?