Skimpy Teen Clothing: Opinions?

[leagirl12]

I didn't know exactly what limitedtoo was, so I went to check out the website. I'm 23 and I'd probably wear 1/2 the tops they show

For me and LimitedToo that is the exact issue. I recently went to the mall with my 22 yo sister and 9 yo daughter. My dd wanted to go into limited too and my 22 yo sister saw the outfits and talked about how cute some of them were and she would wear them if they were in her size....she wanted to take my dd in and help her try things on.

Then I explained to her that I don't want my 9 yo wearing the same style of clothes that a 22 yo would be interested in....she is still a little girl and I want her to dress like one. It's not just about being skimpy it is about trying to make little girls look much older than they are.

 

[badblackpug]

Ok, just to reiterate: My friend did not tell the girl she HAD to change she told her that she was uncomfortable taking her to a public place like the mall in the outfit, she gave her the choice between staying in the outfit and staying home or changing and going to the mall. She tried her best NOT to embarrass the child. She said her exact words to the irl were along the line of "your top and shorts are a little short for my taste" she said she even made a joke about being an "old lady." She also said she hasn't had any issue witht he child's behavior (and she is over a lot, because they have a swimming pool)

I agree that style is subjective, but I have to agree that, in this case, the person is a minor, and is the responsibility of someone else. The reason that they did not go to the mall was that my friends OWN daughter decided to act like a fool, the friend agreed to change.

She also said that the mother was not home, and often is not. (which may explain a lot)

As some other posters had said, I am not sure how I would feel if another mother/family said my child was not dressed appropriately. I think I, too, might be offended or angered, feeling my judgement as a parent had been questioned. But, I think, as adults, we (I hope) we have the judgement to asses the situation, and dress appropriately. A child may not have this judgement. What might be appropriate for the pool may not be appropriate at a restaurant, or at grandma's. The shorts and top that are appropriate for grandma's may not be appropriate for visiting more conservative Islamic friends.

While I wholeheartedly agree that how a person is dressed will NOT cause them to be assaulted, I think that young girls dressing "older" or provocatively may lead them into situations they may not have the maturity to handle.

 

[Goobergal99]

She also said that the mother was not home, and often is not. (which may explain a lot)


.

Hey, I resent that... busy mom in the house

But seriously DD is always watched by someone

 

[badblackpug]

Hey, I resent that... busy mom in the house

But seriously DD is always watched by someone

Oh shoot! I didn't mean that the way it sounded! I am often "not home" either! I meant it more in the vein of the chid is home alone a lot. (which is why she likes to spend a lot of time at my friends) No-one sees how she is dressed when she leaves the house.

My bad. Sorry!

 

[Karlzmom]

Op- Can I give your friend a standing ovation?

I think she was completely correct to enforce her standards when the child is with her, and I am pleased to hear that she held the line. DD will get over it, and may even have learned a subtle lesson about not compromising values to be popular. I swear that these kids are looking for boundaries, and will push the envelope until they find it...you showed it. Good for her! Too many adults are unwilling to give any guidance whatsoever, and as a result we as a society have kids running wild. Boundaries enforced with love are a necessary part of their proper development. I know when I was a teen I get a fair amount of "parenting" that I desperately needed from mothers of my friends. Not only did they fill in "gaps" left by my own parents [which we all know happens, hence the schools taking over more and more of the "raising" because "some kid's parents don't...."] but I found that I took a hint or word from BFF's mom much more seriously than anything my own mom might have said.

I only have boys, but I sure hope that as they grow my son's friends will have parents like your friend that are looking out for them. Bravo!!

 

[Karlzmom]

If I allow my DD16 to wear a certain thing and then some adult tells her it’s not appropriate and that she should change I would have major issue with this. . . . We must realize that not everyone shares the same morals and values and we can’t always force our opinions onto others.

Correct, and as a parent you can forbid your child to associate with someone who would ask the respect of dressing modestly when she is taking your daughter somewhere. Then you or someone you approve of, can take your child where ever she wants to go.

 

[tlbwriter]

Correct, and as a parent you can forbid your child to associate with someone who would ask the respect of dressing modestly when she is taking your daughter somewhere. Then you or someone you approve of, can take your child where ever she wants to go.

It's a good teachable moment.

"Jane's mother wouldn't take you to VBS in a tank top because her church believes young ladies should not have bare arms in church. Lots of different churches believe lots of different things."

"Carrie's mom wasn't comfortable with your outfit because she thinks your shorts are too short, and your halter top exposes too much skin. Have you noticed that Carrie never wears halter tops? Her mom thinks they show too much. We disagree, but if Carrie's mom is 'your adult' for an activity, she has the right to set the rules."

 

[vcgirl925]

It's a good teachable moment.

"Jane's mother wouldn't take you to VBS in a tank top because her church believes young ladies should not have bare arms in church. Lots of different churches believe lots of different things."

"Carrie's mom wasn't comfortable with your outfit because she thinks your shorts are too short, and your halter top exposes too much skin. Have you noticed that Carrie never wears halter tops? Her mom thinks they show too much. We disagree, but if Carrie's mom is 'your adult' for an activity, she has the right to set the rules."

ITA 100%

 

[allison443]

For me and LimitedToo that is the exact issue. I recently went to the mall with my 22 yo sister and 9 yo daughter. My dd wanted to go into limited too and my 22 yo sister saw the outfits and talked about how cute some of them were and she would wear them if they were in her size....she wanted to take my dd in and help her try things on.

Then I explained to her that I don't want my 9 yo wearing the same style of clothes that a 22 yo would be interested in....she is still a little girl and I want her to dress like one. It's not just about being skimpy it is about trying to make little girls look much older than they are.

Am I understanding this right, that you feel Limited Too is "too old" for your nine year old? I'm curious where you get her clothes...from what I've seen they are similar to styles at target, children's place, etc.

 

[Disney_Angel]

I don't think it was out of line at all. In 10 years, I'll do the same to my DD. Modesty and public decency are not negotiable.
"

Agreed....I do not negotiate with seven year olds. My dd respects me to not try and take advantage of me. She wanted a bikini like her cousin I said absolutely NOT! She compromised and picked a tankini with a cute little monkey on it. I explained to her that her body is sacred and not meant to show off to every Tom, Dick or Harry.

I will not be seen with any child wearing skimpy clothing. If your going out with our family you are expected to dress accordingly.

 

[Disney_Angel]

Am I understanding this right, that you feel Limited Too is "too old" for your nine year old? I'm curious where you get her clothes...from what I've seen they are similar to styles at target, children's place, etc.

I have to respectfully disagree that The Children's Place has similar clothing as The Limited 2.

 

[Disney_Angel]

She also said that the mother was not home, and often is not. (which may explain a lot)


While I wholeheartedly agree that how a person is dressed will NOT cause them to be assaulted, I think that young girls dressing "older" or provocatively may lead them into situations they may not have the maturity to handle.

Both sad but true.....(refering to "party moms" not working moms)

 

[Karlzmom]

Not a thing. I just cannot believe how some kids are treated. Guess my views are totally different than some others. I am not super overprotective mom, I am all about kids learning and failing at a young age to teach them life lessons. I let my kids make a lot of choices and I allow them to watch pg-13 and sometimes a rated r movie- so they can watch it with my guidance. I guess I am a creature of environment and todays environment will swallow you alive if you cannot even stomach a hannah montana show or some store brand on your shirt. So in my eyes and my opinion, which I am entitled to express, yes I feel sorry for the kids that will be constantly shielded from real life.

...and I expect that you would be put out if another poster said something snarky about you or your choices in parenting. You can have an opinion, but you really don't have to be nasty. If each of us takes free license to gratuitous verbal slaps, the whole point of the board is gone...

 

[Karlzmom]

So no Little Mermaid or Cinderella or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty either? They all kind of focus on a kiss from a boy.

Modestly dressed maidens experiencing loves first kiss.....no bodily fluids exchanged and white weddings....truly subversive stuff!

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

Modestly dressed maidens experiencing loves first kiss.....no bodily fluids exchanged and white weddings....truly subversive stuff!

Modestly dressed maidens?! LOL Little Mermaid, Jasmine, Pocahontas, etc...

White weddings?! What in the heck does that mean?

Puhlease. I seriously think some of you take this clothing thing way too serious. I remember watching the Brady Bunch and those girls wore some seriously short skirts.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Modestly dressed maidens?! LOL Little Mermaid, Jasmine, Pocahontas, etc...

White weddings?! What in the heck does that mean? Puhlease. I seriously think some of you take this clothing thing way too serious. I remember watching the Brady Bunch and those girls wore some seriously short skirts.

I have to agree with you. There is no way that my child will ever be allowed to go out dressed in a harem outfit or with a bikini top on at the mall. (or pretty much any other public place).
Oh- and what about Snow White? She lived with 7 men!!!!!

 

[JeanfromBNA]

While I wholeheartedly agree that how a person is dressed will NOT cause them to be assaulted, I think that young girls dressing "older" or provocatively may lead them into situations they may not have the maturity to handle.

THAT to me is the crux of the issue. There has been discussion in this thread about girls attracting stares and attention from boys, but I'm not worried about boys. There's not enough discussion of the prevalence of adults looking for an opportunity to use an inexperienced teen girl. Provocative dress suggests a maturity level that teens do not posess.

 

[allison443]

I have to agree with you. There is no way that my child will ever be allowed to go out dressed in a harem outfit or with a bikini top on at the mall. (or pretty much any other public place).

My oldest DD still reminds me of when she was Jasmine one Halloween and I made her wear a turtleneck under the outfit

 

[jenrein]

...and I expect that you would be put out if another poster said something snarky about you or your choices in parenting. You can have an opinion, but you really don't have to be nasty. If each of us takes free license to gratuitous verbal slaps, the whole point of the board is gone...

I'm sorry- I don't think I was being nasty. The word SLUT did not come from my mouth...it came from the mouth of the mother who thinks Hannah Montana is not G-rated. I understand that the board is to express opinions, and that is what I did. I do not think I was giving out gratuitous slaps at all, just making a point.

All in all- because I just get more irritated reading- I know my kids would not go out dressed like that. I know if they did, I would not expect another parent to make her change. I might expect the parent to mention it to me though. I do let my kids wear Hollister and Abercrombie, and I see nothing wrong with that. And I let them watch Hannah Montana...in fact 2 out of 3 of them have seen R Rated movies.....

 

[mjkacmom]

Agreed....I do not negotiate with seven year olds. My dd respects me to not try and take advantage of me. She wanted a bikini like her cousin I said absolutely NOT! She compromised and picked a tankini with a cute little monkey on it. I explained to her that her body is sacred and not meant to show off to every Tom, Dick or Harry.

I will not be seen with any child wearing skimpy clothing. If your going out with our family you are expected to dress accordingly.

This girl was not 7, she was 15! Why the heck is mom tagging along, shopping with 15 year olds - just drop them off! BTW, my 5 and 7 year old dd's wear bikinis, and look adorable - I don't find anything sexual about little girls in bikinis - I'm guessing a pediphile would get off on a little girl in a little girl bathing suit before getting off on little girls in bikinis - too adult for him.