Lilacs4Me
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2015
DH and I were debating this last night. DH has a friend at work going though this and DH was telling me about it. We disagreed on whether this qualified as an affair, emotional affair, or just an "awakening" for the person as to what's wrong in their own relationship.
Basic situation:
I may have missed a detail or two here since I'm hearing it secondhand, but that's the gist of it.
I say this has emotional affair written all over it. DH says no, this is not an affair at all but his friend is just a hot mess because he realized that he and his wife have drifted apart and he wants her to give him more attention and time so that he won't want to continue on wanting something more with this coworker.
What do you think? (and this is meant to be a discussion about emotional affairs in general, too....not just a hyper-focus on the details above, so feel free to add to the discussion!)
Basic situation:
- Friend and coworker have an obvious attraction that has grown over a few years time
- Friend is married, coworker is not. Coworker has made it clearly known that she is willing and available
- Friend has told his wife about the coworker, but in bits and pieces, and hasn't told her everything (like how emotionally attached he is to the coworker)
- Friend has let his feelings for the coworker affect his marriage - his frustrations, anger, longing for a connection, etc is being directed in a negative way toward his wife, whom he thinks doesn't love him like the coworker does/could
- Friend realized it is getting into dangerous territory, he started to distance himself from the coworker. Is altering his day, workload, etc to make an effort to stay away from her. This might ultimately affect his career. His boss and others in the office can see what's happening
- Friend has said he considered leaving his wife, but decided to stay committed to her and their family. He is very sad about his choice but feels like he wants to rekindle his relationship with his wife and not ruin his family over this.
I may have missed a detail or two here since I'm hearing it secondhand, but that's the gist of it.
I say this has emotional affair written all over it. DH says no, this is not an affair at all but his friend is just a hot mess because he realized that he and his wife have drifted apart and he wants her to give him more attention and time so that he won't want to continue on wanting something more with this coworker.
What do you think? (and this is meant to be a discussion about emotional affairs in general, too....not just a hyper-focus on the details above, so feel free to add to the discussion!)