Made shirts for the family, DS wont wear his

[TangledHairDon'tCare]

Another option OP is theme shirts. We don't wear matching shirts in the park, but we have a theme. Examples: MK-Mickey and Minnie, Epcot-Countries, HS-Toy Story, AK-Lion King. Everybody can pick their own gear that suits their style. And even then, if he decides not to participate it won't stand out in a picture because everybody isn't totally matching. That also leaves it up to them to purchase their own stuff.

 

[StageTek]

I was that kid/teen/young adult. My mom loved doing family shirts for vacations and reunions - I hated wearing them.

I grew out if it. Not as fast as my mom would have liked but I'm glad she didn't insist. In hindsight I know it made her sad and as a adult I would tell my younger self to get over it and make her happy. But I was adamant.

These days we laugh about those photos - the family all wearing matching shirts and me, a bit stand-offish doing my own thing. It embarrasses me now that I was so selfish but there is nothing my mom could have done back them.

And I still don't like it. I'll do it now because I know it brings happiness to others, but I still hate it.

 

[tinkerjo]

I totally understand where you are coming from. My DH despised matching shirts and edited to wear them( even for picture and dinner only) and it has created I’ll feelings over the years from other family members. One year he did do it only because the shirts were Star Wars themed and everyone’s shirt was different. Wish I had some good advise for you but once they decide they won’t do it they usually don’t change their mind

 

[cassie58]

Agree with having him wear a coordinating shirt on one day if you want a family picture. My DS is same way and didn't want to wear any Disney shirts since he was a teen, much less matching, while in WDW or anywhere! Got him to wear a red Mickey shirt for one day at MK for a family pic where we each had a red Mickey or Minnie shirt of some kind. As mentioned, even if he wore the same color that would be good to keep it in sync. He could be in the back and just blend!

 

[orangecuse]

Awe I would be disappointed too! Maybe have fiance bring it and you can get a group picture of everyone smiling and wearing their shirts while he is holding his up and doing some funny frown or something? Then he can throw it back in a bag or whatever but he still was in the picture!

 

[Disneyfan754321]

Maybe I will give him his shirt blank...lol they are all light blue I didnt want to fry my family in the sun. But I like all of your ideas. Doesnt he realize that he will stand out more not wearing the shirt?

One more question. We were thinking about putting the design on the back something small on the front?

 

[NYCgrrl]

I'd make a joke of it and print him a "I don't wear matching t shirt" top for family photos and such; this is not a line in the sand moment for me.

 

[robinb]

Doesnt he realize that he will stand out more not wearing the shirt?

Maybe not. When I see family in the same shirt I look at them as a group not individuals. He will certainly stick out and people will notice him more. Which of these things is not like the other?

 

[NYCgrrl]

Maybe not. When I see family in the same shirt I look at them as a group not individuals. He will certainly stick out and people will notice him more. Which of these things is not like the other?

I suspect you pegged his mindset.

 

[Summer2018]

For our July trip, it was DD21 & friend20, along with DH & I. Before I ordered matching shirts, I looked through Amazon and showed everyone the options. When all of us agreed on a design, everyone picked out their own color. We had character names printed on the back at a local t-shirt shop. The shirts matched, but everyone had their individuality at the same time.

Sadly, my husband's and my shirt were destroyed in a car accident on our drive down to Orlando, so only the girls got to wear theirs.

 

[QueenIsabella]

At 24 if I wanted to go on a trip with my family I was expected to pay for it (or at least my portions). Since my kids are young right now I don’t want to say this is exactly what I’m going to do, but right now it’s the plan.

We pay for our DD23 to travel with us. Like the OP, we have a big gap--youngest just turned 13--and DD23 lives 800 miles away, so we don't see her very often. Oldest has a college degree, a job, etc., and travels plenty on her own. We just like to have her with us, and she likes to go. When we went to Europe last summer, she had the youngest two in her hotel room, giving DH and I our own hotel room for 12 glorious nights! This was her choice, BTW--she adores her younger siblings.

That said, once I was 17, I was responsible for all my own costs--my mom even charged me rent to live at home during school breaks. DH grew up in a family where his parents paid for family vacations, up until my MIL died in 2017. Neither approach caused long-term damage of any kind. You do what fits your lifestyle.

 

[Tink_83]

We pay for our DD23 to travel with us. Like the OP, we have a big gap--youngest just turned 13--and DD23 lives 800 miles away, so we don't see her very often. Oldest has a college degree, a job, etc., and travels plenty on her own. We just like to have her with us, and she likes to go. When we went to Europe last summer, she had the youngest two in her hotel room, giving DH and I our own hotel room for 12 glorious nights! This was her choice, BTW--she adores her younger siblings.

That said, once I was 17, I was responsible for all my own costs--my mom even charged me rent to live at home during school breaks. DH grew up in a family where his parents paid for family vacations, up until my MIL died in 2017. Neither approach caused long-term damage of any kind. You do what fits your lifestyle.

I didn’t mean to imply that paying for a part or all of an adult child’s vacation is not appropriate. As I posted earlier I’m from a very large family, the oldest of 8 with a 20 year gap between me and the youngest. Family vacations that I’d go on were a good way to keep up with my younger siblings after I moved out of state. I was just trying to agree that at 24 he can pay for his own vacation. And yes, paying or not paying for an adult child to go on vacation is not going to impact the kids in any way! Both are acceptable and is a personal family decision that each family makes on their own.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

I wouldn't push it. Honestly, I'm with your son. I wouldn't want to wear a matching t-shirt either and would feel uncomfortable all day wearing one. We do "themes" in our family to whatever extent each family member is willing to go with the theme. I generally go all out with certain dresses I have for each park. DH and DS are more subtle and sometimes don't wear themed clothing at all. At the end of the day, whatever makes them comfortable for their day in the parks and makes their day more enjoyable seems to be the best option for our family. WDW can have so many stressful aspects to it (standing in lines, crowds, etc.). Why add another element of, potential, discomfort to it? I would put yourself in his shoes and think how it might feel if someone was trying to make you wear something you would be uncomfortable in. Making someone wear something they don't want to wear is not going to make for a happy day for anyone.

 

[courtney1188]

There’s nothing to be done here. He’s not a child and he gets to pick out his clothes. But apparently numerous people on here would think that I’m silly or immature or whatever because despite being in my thirties, you would absolutely never catch me in matching shirts. Especially personalized ones with our family’s last name on them. I think they’re tacky - sorry! Although my mom couldn’t do this anyways since my last name now matches my husband and not her, haha. But if it was my husband’s family wanting to do this...yeah, that would be a hard no from me. Some of us are just not matching t shirt people.

 

[GoingSince1990]

Just be happy that you are all going on a Disney vacation together, let whoever wants to wear the T-shirts wear them, just let it go if your son doesn’t want to, and have a great time.

 

[paisleys]

Just be happy that you are all going on a Disney vacation together, let whoever wants to wear the T-shirts wear them, just let it go if your son doesn’t want to, and have a great time.

This! My parents 'forced' me to go one year when I was 18 and I was miserable (vacations with them were not fun, they were always bickering and or full out fighting!). It's great he WANTS to go with you! Be happy your family is still close, plus that his gf is so excited to spend time with you. You are very blessed. I hope my kids will want to go with us someday when they are 24. And matching shirts would never be an option for any of us, at any age.

 

[maxiesmom]

I get that you can't force a 20 something to do something they don't want to do. Having said that, I would hope he could suck it up and wear the shirt for a pic at the very least. And I also hope this is not an indicator on how this trip is going to go. With a family trip lots of bending is in order. If someone tries to have it all their way the whole time, that makes for a very rough trip for everyone.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I think ONE photo on a MK day in front of the castle and then he can switch out to another shirt would be a good compromise. You get a family matchy-matchy photo and he gets to wear what he wants the rest of the trip.

I agree. He can indulge you for one photo, but I wouldn't force it for the whole day.

(I do also like the "I don't do matching shirts" shirt if he wants that.)

 

[DisneyOma]

That behavior is of a teen not a mid 20's grown man IMO.

I do think the last name is a bit much. We did grand gathering shirts 10 years ago and while I love the front and the fact that they match I kinda wish our name wasn't on the back.

I wouldn't be concerned with your son.
I'd give his girlfriend his shirt to pack just in case he decides to stop being such a child the day of.
Otherwise everyone else wear them with pride and let him look like the odd ball.

I wouldn't want to wear matching shirts either, so does that make me a child? I'm old enough to retire, BTW. Did the OP even ask everyone if they wanted to do it before she got the ball rolling? And if she did, and he said no, then she should just do shirts for the people who said yes, end of story. He's 24, he can wear what he wants, no shaming needed.

Maybe I will give him his shirt blank...lol they are all light blue I didnt want to fry my family in the sun. But I like all of your ideas. Doesnt he realize that he will stand out more not wearing the shirt?

One more question. We were thinking about putting the design on the back something small on the front?

Why will he stand out more? Maybe in a photo, but not just walking around the park.

Maybe not. When I see family in the same shirt I look at them as a group not individuals. He will certainly stick out and people will notice him more. Which of these things is not like the other?

But how will you even know the person not wearing the matching shirt is in that group? And who even spends all that brain power at WDW thinking "hmm, his shirt doesn't match..." LOL!

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

I wouldn't want to wear matching shirts either, so does that make me a child? !

Yes. In my opinion.