Made shirts for the family, DS wont wear his

[wendlle]

That behavior is of a teen not a mid 20's grown man IMO.

Exactly, he is a grown man. Why is someone trying to tell him what to wear?
IMO, I can't stand the matching shirts thing. To me, just wear your own clothes. Some family members don't want to be a lemming. Let him be himself.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Exactly, he is a grown man. Why is someone trying to tell him what to wear?
IMO, I can't stand the matching shirts thing. To me, just wear your own clothes. Some family members don't want to be a lemming. Let him be himself.

It's one shirt for one day why xant he just do it?
If he was in a wedding and everyone was to wear blue and he said no he wouldn't be in the wedding and somehow I doubt most would say he wan't being childish in that type of scenario.

 

[wendlle]

It's one shirt for one day why xant he just do it?
If he was in a wedding and everyone was to wear blue and he said no he wouldn't be in the wedding and somehow I doubt most would say he wan't being childish in that type of scenario.

Because he is a grown *** MAN. He doesn't have to wear it if he doesn't want to. Like I said, I'm not a lemming. If someone asked me to do that I'd say no too. I'm not about to tell anyone what they can wear and I wouldn't get annoyed if they didn't do it.
I couldn't care even if it was a wedding. Just because you're getting hypothetically married doesn't mean the sun revolves around you, let people wear what they want. It's a free country no?

 

[Hikergirl]

It's one shirt for one day why xant he just do it?
If he was in a wedding and everyone was to wear blue and he said no he wouldn't be in the wedding and somehow I doubt most would say he wan't being childish in that type of scenario.

Most people wouldn’t equate being in a wedding with a day at WDW.
I mean talk about apples and oranges

 

[Biffette]

Ehh, let him not wear the shirt, and make sure he is in ALL the group photos. He doesn't want to look like a dork? Well he'll look like a dork being the spoilsport every time those pictures show up anywhere. And everybody inside and outside the family who sees the photos will also form their own opinions. If anybody asks, just be honest!

 

[Magical2017]

I would not redo anything, and I would let his not wearing the shirt go and enjoy being at DW, but that's me.

 

[orangecuse]

A few points:

1. I get it. I think I’m coming at it from a different perspective. I am one of four kids. Growing up my mom loooveeeed to have us match for holidays. Even 4th if July every year. My one sister would always throw her shirt in the trash and refuse. My mom stopped giving her shirts. Sister started complaining she was left out. To the rest of us, even as adults, its kind of like- take the 5 damn minutes to pose with a shirt if it makes mom happy and then toss it if you want. You are being stubborn to be stubborn. Sister still does this with everythinggg. Just her personality. Mom’s feelings were always hurt NOT because the shirt mattered much, just because it seemed like a major FU over a minor ask.

2. Does 8 yo care or do you just care that the kids match? If its just you I’d say let him be a stubborn jack and when he sticks out in pictures and people ask whats up he will feel like a butt, even if he doesn’t admit it. Trust me, he won’t walk away feeling smug for getting out of wearing it. Taking the name off and sending it to fiance is a good idea so its there if he wants it, but if he refuses I’d play it off day of. Your loss kid we all look great. Don’t bring 8 yo into it if he doesn’t care as thats not fair.

3. IF 8 yo cares- thats another element. Maybe 8 yo and 24 yo can talk directly. Maybe a compromise can be made like a different day they get matching shirts for JUST them (like low key brother themed shirts? Maybe not even matching but buzz and woody or Han Solo and Luke Skywalker ect.). That way 8 yo has a cool in with his big bro and big bro doesn’t come to vacation jaded hes wearing a shirt he doesn’t want or feeling like hes fought the whole way ya know?

(And if 10yo ajd other older kid want to do something just them that day its another cool brother set).

 

[Disneylover99]

Bring the shirts to Disney, but don’t dwell on it. He might have a change of heart once he’s there.
If he wears it great, if not, no big deal.

I wouldn’t try to redo shirts or buy him a different one though.

 

[Nancyg56]

I get that you can't force a 20 something to do something they don't want to do. Having said that, I would hope he could suck it up and wear the shirt for a pic at the very least. And I also hope this is not an indicator on how this trip is going to go. With a family trip lots of bending is in order. If someone tries to have it all their way the whole time, that makes for a very rough trip for everyone.

I think that there is a vast difference between a person insisting on their own way for an entire trip or simply refusing to wear matching shirts. I woudl nto read more into the decision other than what it is: a person who does ntoliek matching clothing. My DH hates that. WE all wore matching Lime Gree Mickey HEad shorts years ago when the DIS folks used to hand the paint chips for ID, and he did it. He hated every minute of it. I will never ask him to do that again.

Yes. In my opinion.

I see anyone who tries to force their wants onto another as disrespectful and manipulative. I want to wear a shirt , I wear it If someone else does not that is their right. It boggles my mind that anyone feels they have the right to choose clothing for adults, and calls them childish for refusing to acquiesce.

It's one shirt for one day why xant he just do it?
If he was in a wedding and everyone was to wear blue and he said no he wouldn't be in the wedding and somehow I doubt most would say he wan't being childish in that type of scenario.

You just cannot respect anyone elses POV can you?

OP- bring the shirt. If he wears it, fine. If not who really cares? The focus should never be about the matching clothing, hats, or anything else that is a visual that the group is a family. I think that the more you push for something the less it happens. On our last trip my nieces brought a Mickey Santa hat for all of us, red for the guys and pick for the girls. I have to say that my DH tool one look adn I saw him cringe inside. We never said a word but on our first day in the MK that man wore that silly thing all day, just like the rest of us, and we got a few nice pictures. He was once and done for most of the trip, but he dragged it along for a few family photos in front of park icons the rest of the week. For the most part, we all wore the hats (it was rainy and that thing was a great way to stay sort of dry) but had we ridiculed DH or pushed him that hat woudl have been symbolic of making him do wha the did nto want to do. Take the shirt, and say nothing.

 

[DisneyOma]

Yes. In my opinion.

Thank goodness it's just your opinion, which doesn't matter to the OP's son

To me it's one shirt one day and everyone else will be wearing it so grow up and wear it.

Why not tell the OP to grow up and get over it?

So it's ok to wear a matching shirt when it's your frat brother but never with your real brother who's 8. Or you can wear a nfl shirt to a game but not a shirt with a mouse to his house.

Did the OP state that's what the son does? I must have missed that -which post was it in, please?

It's one shirt for one day why xant he just do it?
If he was in a wedding and everyone was to wear blue and he said no he wouldn't be in the wedding and somehow I doubt most would say he wan't being childish in that type of scenario.

People do this at weddings? Ugh, I wouldn't be going to that wedding!

Ehh, let him not wear the shirt, and make sure he is in ALL the group photos. He doesn't want to look like a dork? Well he'll look like a dork being the spoilsport every time those pictures show up anywhere. And everybody inside and outside the family who sees the photos will also form their own opinions. If anybody asks, just be honest!

He's only a spoilsport in the eyes of the people who think you have to wear the matching shirt. I actually think the photos with the matching shirts are boring. Everyone just blends. We tend to Disney-bound, which makes for much better photos, IMO.

 

[Disneyfan754321]

It's not really a big deal, it just that, all 7 doing it.
I am just going to ask if he will put it on in the way there for his little brother 11, he helped make them and he is the most excited. He should humor him a little.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

I think that there is a vast difference between a person insisting on their own way for an entire trip or simply refusing to wear matching shirts. I woudl nto read more into the decision other than what it is: a person who does ntoliek matching clothing. My DH hates that. WE all wore matching Lime Gree Mickey HEad shorts years ago when the DIS folks used to hand the paint chips for ID, and he did it. He hated every minute of it. I will never ask him to do that again.




I see anyone who tries to force their wants onto another as disrespectful and manipulative. I want to wear a shirt , I wear it If someone else does not that is their right. It boggles my mind that anyone feels they have the right to choose clothing for adults, and calls them childish for refusing to acquiesce.




You just cannot respect anyone elses POV can you?

OP- bring the shirt. If he wears it, fine. If not who really cares? The focus should never be about the matching clothing, hats, or anything else that is a visual that the group is a family. I think that the more you push for something the less it happens. On our last trip my nieces brought a Mickey Santa hat for all of us, red for the guys and pick for the girls. I have to say that my DH tool one look adn I saw him cringe inside. We never said a word but on our first day in the MK that man wore that silly thing all day, just like the rest of us, and we got a few nice pictures. He was once and done for most of the trip, but he dragged it along for a few family photos in front of park icons the rest of the week. For the most part, we all wore the hats (it was rainy and that thing was a great way to stay sort of dry) but had we ridiculed DH or pushed him that hat woudl have been symbolic of making him do wha the did nto want to do. Take the shirt, and say nothing.

You do realize that its everyone else attacking MY opinion right? I never quoted first. Always after someone else quoted me not allowing me to have my own opinion but trying to force theirs on me.
People can have whatever opinion they want as long as they aren't disrespecting mine which they are.

 

[Tink_83]

You do realize that its everyone else attacking MY opinion right? I never quoted first. Always after someone else quoted me not allowing me to have my own opinion but trying to force theirs on me.
People can have whatever opinion they want as long as they aren't disrespecting mine which they are.

I think the issue is that the way you state your opinion is just so abrasive (not necessarily that your opinion is wrong, or anything like that). Not that I always state things the best way possible, sometimes I go back and realize something I said can be taken in the worst way possible and that I shouldn’t have worded them like that. Anyway, I think if you took a few moments and found a gentler way to state your opinion you’d find far fewer people will quote you in a negative way. Unless you like have arguments on discussion forums that are meant to really provide ideas and advice for the OP.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

I think the issue is that the way you state your opinion is just so abrasive (not necessarily that your opinion is wrong, or anything like that). Not that I always state things the best way possible, sometimes I go back and realize something I said can be taken in the worst way possible and that I shouldn’t have worded them like that. Anyway, I think if you took a few moments and found a gentler way to state your opinion you’d find far fewer people will quote you in a negative way. Unless you like have arguments on discussion forums that are meant to really provide ideas and advice for the OP.

I can appreciate what you are saying but I have no regret with my wording. I don't type in a sugar coated way. That is not meant to start arguements. If someone does not care for how I word something they should move on instead of quote me and engage me.
As I've said I don't often quote others if I don't like what they said. I just ignore it and post my opinion. Some just cannot seem to do the same.

 

[iivye]

I'm in the camp of bring it but leave it up to him whether or not to wear it, and try not to let his decision affect your trip. I think your feelings will be more hurt if you try to go out of your way to please him.

 

[Nancyg56]

I can appreciate what you are saying but I have no regret with my wording. I don't type in a sugar coated way. That is not meant to start arguements. If someone does not care for how I word something they should move on instead of quote me and engage me.
As I've said I don't often quote others if I don't like what they said. I just ignore it and post my opinion. Some just cannot seem to do the same.

And this is why your posts tend to be singled out. You post in a blunt manner, refusing to understand that because we cannot hear tome we rely on your words alone.

 

[Nancyg56]

You do realize that its everyone else attacking MY opinion right? I never quoted first. Always after someone else quoted me not allowing me to have my own opinion but trying to force theirs on me.
People can have whatever opinion they want as long as they aren't disrespecting mine which they are.

I realize people are quoting you, as did I.There is a reason you are singled out as often as you are, and it is not that people do not respect you have a difference of opinion. I will often disagree with posters here, and am seldom quoted for the reason you are. No one disrespects that you are not in lockstep, but I imagine they, as do I, have a problem with the dismissive way you respond to express your opinion. I have no idea if this is deliberate, or if it is the way you treat those whose opinions differ with yours, but I do know that the words are pretty harsh.

I used to be charged with proofreading memos that were sent to our reps because some of our analysts were oblivious that there was a difference between rude and blunt, and they were offending a lot of people in their path.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

And this is why your posts tend to be singled out. You post in a blunt manner, refusing to understand that because we cannot hear tome we rely on your words alone.

But Kyle point is if you do not like my words then move on instead of engaging me and attacking. If I do not care for an opinion that is what I do. I only engage when others engage with me first.
But I can still appreciate your post.

 

[Disneylover99]

But Kyle point is if you do not like my words then move on instead of engaging me and attacking. If I do not care for an opinion that is what I do. I only engage when others engage with me first.
But I can still appreciate your post.

I think the bottom line is, if you call another poster a child, as you did in this thread, you need to be prepared to be called out on that. It doesn’t matter who engaged first. After all, it is a discussion board.

 

[Kaleidodad]

Oh boy, lots of deep-seated parental issues coming to the surface in this thread!