Made shirts for the family, DS wont wear his

[QueenIsabella]

It's not really a big deal, it just that, all 7 doing it.
I am just going to ask if he will put it on in the way there for his little brother 11, he helped make them and he is the most excited. He should humor him a little.

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The best approach I can think of is, at an unrushed time (prior or during the trip), have the 11yo ask him nicely if he'll at least put it on for one photo. I have a DS21 with Asperger's (+ other issues), who is mind-numbingly stubborn. In this situation, he would literally choose to stay home, rather than put on a matching shirt that Mom made a big deal out of. BUT--he has the biggest soft spot for his younger sister, and if she approached him, and asked him to wear the shirt for 5 minutes for a photo, to make HER happy because she designed it--it might work. It might not, but it would go over 1000 times better than if I brought it up.

 

[samsonjs]

It's not really a big deal, it just that, all 7 doing it.
I am just going to ask if he will put it on in the way there for his little brother 11, he helped make them and he is the most excited. He should humor him a little.

Don’t even bring up your younger child because now you’re manipulating him into agreeing by using a sibling against him. He will just hold it against you even more.

 

[Summer2018]

Clearly it’s not about the matching shirts.

 

[maxiesmom]

Honestly I would just Photoshop the shirt on to him.

 

[thingwithwings]

If the 11YO was the one asking specifically, "Hey, bro, can you just wear this shirt for a picture?" I feel like it would be a different story.

Ultimately, though, your son is a grown man. He's going to do what he's going to do. I don't think it's childish to say, "I'm not really a fan of wearing matching shirts, and I'm not going to wear it," no matter what everyone else in the group is doing.

At this point, pressing the issue any further is probably just going to cause him to dig his heels in more. Ask his fiancé to pack the shirt and bring it along whenever you're doing a singular picture, but don't get upset if he says he doesn't want to wear it then, and don't press it any more. Everyone involved will have a much better trip if the shirt is a non-issue from this point on.

 

[Nancyg56]

It's not really a big deal, it just that, all 7 doing it.
I am just going to ask if he will put it on in the way there for his little brother 11, he helped make them and he is the most excited. He should humor him a little.

It kind of seems like a big deal at this point. Your youngest is invested in his efforts, and now you need to get your oldest to "humor" him. It is too late now, but moving forward I would check with people before making decisions for them that they will feel pressured to follow through with in order to keep from hurting feelings. The real issue is that you put your cart before your horse involved an 11 YO in planning something that involved others, and now you find there is one of you that is not on board. Personally, I would use this as a learning lesson for your youngest and explain the importance of respecting others. If someone is not comfortable doing or wearing something it is important to honor that gracefully.

 

[Tink_83]

I would tread very lightly, request he put the shirt on overtop of his outfit for a quick photo, and IF he agrees to that let your younger son help decide what the photo op with the shirt he helped designed should be (and I’d go as far to ask if he is ok with a photo would he be ok throwing it on in the MK, etc. to get parameters)... I’d explain to the younger son that while it’s a fun idea there are legitimate reasons why his older brother doesn’t want to wear it and that respecting others is important. If he agrees to the photo I’d try to redirect onto that so your younger son can get excited about it instead of feeling let down.

I will take a brief moment to add that I see both sides, you worked with your younger son spending time and effort on something you thought would be fun for the whole family and I get that you are disappointed that your older son is not into this... on the other hand I personally do not like group T-shirt’s (personal preference). In part I really like my dresses that I wear to the parks. And I don’t know if you asked him in advance of planning this but if that’s the case and he said no I’m not really into this and then it was still done that would be an added layer that would be upsetting.

Regardless at this point my goals would be to either find a compromise or come up with something else to direct my younger child’s attention on... including getting him excited to wear his own creation! He should know that his happiness and pride in his design should not be limited to weather or not his brother wants to wear the shirt.

 

[sponica]

Matching shirts are a no go in my family. The great email war of 2006 settled it, you don't tell people over the age of 18 what specific item they're wearing (aside from bridal parties and uniforms)

A hey we got these shirts do you want one responded with the answer of no turned into "well you don't love your grandfather"

Don't force the issue over a shirt, the collateral damage is NOT worth it.

 

[Klayfish]

Matching shirts are a no go in my family. The great email war of 2006 settled it, you don't tell people over the age of 18 what specific item they're wearing (aside from bridal parties and uniforms)

A hey we got these shirts do you want one responded with the answer of no turned into "well you don't love your grandfather"

Great e-mail war of 2006....that's funny.

 

[TangledHairDon'tCare]

I completely understand where people are coming from when they say a grown man doesn't need to be told what to wear, but I'm 40 years old and if my mom wanted me to wear a matching shirt to WDW (or anywhere really) I would suck it up and wear it because it makes her happy. I wouldn't love it, but I'd do it for my mom!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

We don't do all out matching vacation shirts. My DS19 and my SO will never wear matching shirts. I think they are cute when I see them but they aren't for me. I also don't like anything with my name plastered across it. Actually none of us do.

Honestly most of the matching shirts I've seen are made on cheap Gildan shirts bought from Walmart. They are horrible, scratchy material and then the iron on logos just make the shirts feel 10 times worse.

Last trip it was just DD12 and myself. I bought us some shirts from Etsy and some sellers I found through IG. The shirts were cute and we both liked them so I made sure we got different colors and we didn't wear them on the same day.

At the end of the day it truly isn't a big deal. It's not that serious. Don't sweat the small stuff.

 

[MickeyWaffles]

I would not push the issue again before the trip but I would bring the shirt just in case he decides to wear it on his own. Maybe he’ll surprise you.

I think it is understandable. I wouldn’t be thrilled about being forced to wear something (I’m picky about fit/comfort/etc.) I also really don’t like clothing with identifying first or last names. I’d probably wear it to avoid the drama, but I wouldn’t be thrilled.

 

[KateMW]

I wouldn't wear a matching shirt for any amount of money in the world. And I'm 40. I won't even wear a graphic shirt in general. I am #teamson

 

[sponica]

Great e-mail war of 2006....that's funny.

Oh it was epic at the time.

I understand why people like matching shirts and if it's voluntary, sure...Go for it.

 

[dawnnikol]

I planned a trip for 15 of us. I wanted the castle photo with all of us together in our shirts. I got everyone's requested style and color, paid for it myself, and made them all. I brought them on the trip knowing full well that certain family members would toss them immediately after the photo. They definitely did, with no qualms about my time/effort. The photo bugs me to this day.

Next time? I plan to still do shirts, because *I* enjoy them and so does my crew, any other extended family members can do their own thing and save us all a lot of time and hurt.

I'd explain to my child who helped make the shirts that not everyone has the same idea of "fun" and give it to him anyway, but don't expect anything. Expectations can be a real killer.

 

[gwynne]

I planned a trip for 15 of us. I wanted the castle photo with all of us together in our shirts. I got everyone's requested style and color, paid for it myself, and made them all. I brought them on the trip knowing full well that certain family members would toss them immediately after the photo. They definitely did, with no qualms about my time/effort. The photo bugs me to this day.

Next time? I plan to still do shirts, because *I* enjoy them and so does my crew, any other extended family members can do their own thing and save us all a lot of time and hurt.

I'd explain to my child who helped make the shirts that not everyone has the same idea of "fun" and give it to him anyway, but don't expect anything. Expectations can be a real killer.

But you got your photo. The way it worked out seemed to be a compromise. The folks who weren't thrilled with matchy-matchy put on the special shirt and took a photo. Then they changed back to what they were most comfortable wearing.
The special thing of that day, to me, is that all 15 of you were all together.

 

[dawnnikol]

But you got your photo. The way it worked out seemed to be a compromise. The folks who weren't thrilled with matchy-matchy put on the special shirt and took a photo. Then they changed back to what they were most comfortable wearing.
The special thing of that day, to me, is that all 15 of you were all together.

It definitely was a compromise, the reason the photo bugs me is you can see on their faces how not thrilled they are. That could've been the drama prior to the photo with them trying to make it to the castle and getting lost, but regardless. I have lots of photos after the castle photo that are much better and worth more to me to remind me of how much fun we did have. The shirts ended up not being an issue in the long run, of course.

 

[LSUmiss]

It kind of seems like a big deal at this point. Your youngest is invested in his efforts, and now you need to get your oldest to "humor" him. It is too late now, but moving forward I would check with people before making decisions for them that they will feel pressured to follow through with in order to keep from hurting feelings. The real issue is that you put your cart before your horse involved an 11 YO in planning something that involved others, and now you find there is one of you that is not on board. Personally, I would use this as a learning lesson for your youngest and explain the importance of respecting others. If someone is not comfortable doing or wearing something it is important to honor that gracefully.

I hear what your saying & agree mom shouldn’t have brought the younger son into it. But, the other part of me thinks a grown man needs to get over himself. Are you that vain that you can’t humor your little brother & wear something he made you?

 

[LSUmiss]

I completely understand where people are coming from when they say a grown man doesn't need to be told what to wear, but I'm 40 years old and if my mom wanted me to wear a matching shirt to WDW (or anywhere really) I would suck it up and wear it because it makes her happy. I wouldn't love it, but I'd do it for my mom!

Exactly & I would even more so if a kid made it for me! I agree mom should have asked, but what is the big deal?? I’m 40 too & my dad is deceased & died fairly young & suddenly. I’d give anything to be able to do something silly like this if it made him happy. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but the fact is, life is short & sometimes shorter than you think. I wish I could go back & slap my 24 year old self into understanding & appreciating that more.

 

[Disneyfan754321]

So we just got back from our trip.
Our son did wear his shirt. He kept saying un doing this for you kids. My idea for next year is put him in charge of the shirts. After all I need them in 11 months. Thanks everyone you were a help.