No way----the sister was the godparent, and couldn't even be troubled to attend First Communion? This is a huge deal!! I'm not Catholic, but we have confirmation, which is similar to First Communion. A child only has a couple of big religious milestones, and this was one of them. Almost like skipping a baptism. My sister and bil are our daughters' godparents. I'd be very hurt if they skipped out on this.
I attended a baptism... 550 miles away and on a day that made a 9 hr drive turn into 14 hours. I vowed, 'never when I've kids'. For me, those days aren't about who stands there and watches them, it is the ceremony itself.
This thread has opened my eyes about others who feel that kids should attend weddings regardless of the bride's wishes or anything else. I guess I don't see life in black and white. ("she should come. period.")
It also made my think about my wedding 15+ years ago. We said, 'no children'. (there were multiple reasons) And yes, that excluded my niece and nephew. They came to the ceremony and then went home to babysitters. My brother and sil were the first to leave the reception. Did it register ? Barely. Did they make themselves miserable over it ? I found out later... yes. Did I care ? Not really... if it was that important, they could have called and had a conversation with me. Instead, they chose to be annoyed.
OP, have you sat down and had an adult conversation with your sister and explained that you have hurt feelings ? Try doing that before you project everything on her.
Again, I'll repeat. You can't change her behavior, only how you react to it. She isn't hurting your feelings, you are allowing her to control your emotions.
I'm surprised at the amount of control that you have given her for her to cause this much grief to you. Let it go and don't let her control you or push your buttons. It is a two way street here.
ftr, I don't believe that you've ever considered any of the responses here. As I read the pages, I just perceived that you've dug your heels in more. Did you ever say, "hey, good point". or "hey I never thought of that" or "I didn't realize that perspective" or anything ? Instead you just defended your decision.
And no, you may not have "demanded", but you did put an ultimatum down. Just be prepared to suffer the consequences of it. If you truly are going to boycott this over your dd, then I would also boycott the bachelorette party, the shower, the engagement party, etc. Otherwise, you will just make yourself miserable.