Send them to Kindergarden or Wait

[mjmoon]

YEP! My personal opinion is YES!!! they should teach these things to their own children. When I talk with my 18 month old neice I say things like "Look at the brown bear he has a heart on his shirt." etc. I am sure that this is the way you started with your child. (Off topic-not- ees a bebe-- I can't stand it when people who talk to kids like that or think it is cute when their 5 year old is still using baby talk.-- Back to the point.) I always tell parents you are the first and most important teacher for your child. BUT . . . yes there are parents who had no idea their child should know any of these basic concepts.

I have even had children who had no idea of what their given name was when they walked in the door. I have their name enrolled as Sam or John and they only know their name as "Lucky" or my favorite "T-Bone" . T-Bone did not answer to his given name until long after Christmas. I'm not talking about writing their name (which I hope they can do, although 90% cannot) I am talking about know when I say "OK, Sam come stand here." He has NO IDEA I am talking to him. How is that for lack of basic understanding.

Wow- what a total disservice these people are doing their kids. 90% can't write their names? Really? Again, this is something my 5 year old has known how to do since he was about 3.5. My 3 year old isn't showing any interest in writing and spelling yet... but he knows his name and has since he was a baby. Maybe I'm fanatical, but I want my kids to do well in school and want them to have a solid foundation before ever going. I don't want them to struggle like I did. (and still do, as a 36 year old college student.)

I also can't give myself all the credit.. they learned a lot of these things simply watching things like PBS Kids and Playhouse Disney. Babies and young kids are spounges.. they learn so quickly. All it takes is a little encouragement.

 

[Leajess99]

I am not picking on anyone here but if I hear one more time, "well boys don't do as well" I am going to scream! I think kids in general respond to the limitations we as parents put on them. I absolutely cannot stand the argument that little boys aren't capable. Having boys and girls I do not agree at all. Sorry for my rant. It just drives me nuts.

Oh thank you because I hate that as well. My aunt used to say my little cousin couldn't run as fast or do this or that as well as other kids because she has cancer. She said it so much my cousin was believing it and my cousin had already been in remission for 4 years at this time. She is slowly learning that she can do more than she thought because she is listening to my daughter tell her she can do more.

If you tell a child or even say it where the child can hear it, you ARE setting that child up for failure. Encourage the child and help them learn. There are many sites where you can print off worksheets, play games, or even help them learn to read on line. www.starfall.com is a great site as well for reading.

 

[Leajess99]

What I think is interesting is that so many people attribute how well or not well a child does in school to the age they were when they started. Do we ever really know if sending them to school/keeping them home made a difference at all on how they did in school? How can you really know? How do you know things wouldn't have been exactly the same had you sent them on time/held them back? I just think there are way too many factors to consider to give it all up to their age.

I honestly doubt they will be able to prove that holding them back did good or bad. Some parents fail to realize that if their child is struggling than there may be an underlying cause. My 10 year old dd is gfted and talented but the not turning in homework assignments lack of cfocus, etc was going on and was more noticeable in 4th grade. We discussed it with her doctor and after testing and input from all who are involved to include her teacher it was determined she has ADD. Shortly after starting her meds we have seen a totally different child with more organization, less forgetfulness, and much more focus. Her age had nothing to do with it but her genetics sure did.

My point is if you are concerned get the child evaluated. You never know why the child is struggling if you never take time to find out. Don't just say it is because they started school on time because that may not be the problem.

 

[LIMOGE7]

In NY I thought it was sort of a rule that when that if they were 5 by December 1st of that year they had to go to kindergarden. Not sure but that is what I was aware of. May be different with other ages and states. I have a 2 year old and would love the option of waiting if I felt he would benifit from it. Tammy

 

[justhat]

I realize you left, but I really want to respond, or maybe clarify my previous post.

I state MY opion and MY experiences. My experience with my son is tht he is ultimately being pushed by and educational system that needs to be reviewed and "fixed." And you can't tell my that the US system is perfect either. Whether DS is PUSH in K or 1st doesn't matter it is that he is PUSHED and not ready. Yes, he may have done much better going to a K first, but if a child is not ready for it and is pushed the say results could happen.
Ultimately it is the parents' decision when to send their child to school by the latest legal cutoff date. Posters on here are seeming to belittle that decision because it was either not necessary or not a choice for them. If you have such a serious problem with how schools group students then maybe you need to complain to the those in education who have the ability to do something about it!

Isn't your son 5yo and in the 1st grade? If so, then I think there is a huge difference in that compared to a 5yo in K. To me, that would be skipping him a grade, which would mean he is being taught above his appropriate level for his age. I would think that would be difficult for most kids.

I don't have any issue at all with school cut offs (other than the one I previously mentioned that is different for boys vs. girls). In fact, I think they are great and that's why I think people should adhere to them unless there is some sort of special circumstance with an individual child at the time they should start school.


As far as teens and maturity....that, once again, was from my experiences. So glad that you were more focused and mature at 19 than 17. I will leave that at that.

I personally was more mature at 19yo, than 17yo, but I also think the majority of the world is too. The average 19yo is a sophomore in college, responsible for paying some bills, possibly working and attending classes, cooking/cleaning for themselves, etc. To me that is much more mature than a high schooler.


And yes, when we do move I am HOLDING BACK DS for several reasons...not academic & not sporting!


I wouldn't consider putting your son in 1st grade next year holding him back. That would be his age appropriate grade given that he'll be 6yo. So he'll be right on target age-wise.

I have shared my beliefs and experiences, but since I am SOOO apparently wrong according to the beliefs of the don't red shirt camp...I am out.

 

[Aristomommy]

I honestly doubt they will be able to prove that holding them back did good or bad. Some parents fail to realize that if their child is struggling than there may be an underlying cause. My 10 year old dd is gfted and talented but the not turning in homework assignments lack of cfocus, etc was going on and was more noticeable in 4th grade. We discussed it with her doctor and after testing and input from all who are involved to include her teacher it was determined she has ADD. Shortly after starting her meds we have seen a totally different child with more organization, less forgetfulness, and much more focus. Her age had nothing to do with it but her genetics sure did.

My point is if you are concerned get the child evaluated. You never know why the child is struggling if you never take time to find out. Don't just say it is because they started school on time because that may not be the problem.

DD10 is a young 5th/6th grader depending on subject and we have had to work really hard on organization. It's very important to school success, but DD's gifted teacher has said it is hard to learn for a lot of these kids. Instead of second guessing myself if this one thing will "ruin" her for life, we have found great strategies that has helped keeping her organized.

ITA on testing and evaluation. Our school psychologist that ultimately suggested acceleration on top of grade skip also helped us understand DDs processing speed "issues". I always wondered why she would take forever with simple math facts that she already knew. Having the evaluation gave me another glimpse into her brain we wouldn't otherwise have.