Send them to Kindergarden or Wait

[MTW]

My oldest son has a July birthday and we are starting into the decision of whether or not to start him in Kindergarden this fall. I know that we are the only ones that can make this decision but I was wondering if anyone has ever regretted holding their child out and starting them when they were 6 when they were eligible to go when they were 5?
It is full day kindergarden and that is also one of my concerns...1/2 day wouldn't seem like so much of a change for him. He is in preschool 3 half-days a week and is smart as can be. I'm just concerned about his maturity/social skills.
Thanks for sharing!
Megan

 

[star sweeper]

Personally, I would tell you to wait. As my mom likes to say, "What better gift can you give your child than another year of childhood." As teachers, we also know most boys are more immature than girls of the same age, and usually benefit greatly from starting school a little later.

We have had to struggle with this as well. My 29-month-old son could start school in 2011 because he turns 5 a few weeks after school starts, but my 26-month-old daughter misses the cut off by a month and can't start until 2012. We went back and forth on whether to separate them or hold DS back and start them together. We decided to hold him back. He will be more mature, not as small/young compared to his schoolmates, and will have his sister in school with him as an additional support to making the transtition to school. I also like that I get another year with them at home to enjoy before they start school.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My sons have July and September birthdays. We held both of them until they were 6. I felt that neither was quite ready for kindergarten at 5. My oldest son's K teacher said it's always wise to wait if you have any doubts at all. She's never had a family who regretted holding a child until he was older. She said she did, however, have many families who regretted their decision to send a younger child. She said if a child isn't ready socially, it can take many years for them to catch up with their peers. Some young kids do fine, but if you have any concerns it's probably better to wait.

One thing you can do is call your local school and see if they have any sort of evaluation available for incoming kindergartners. At our school, the kindergarten teachers will meet with the incoming students and do a little evaluation. It consists of a few academic tasks as well as some general observation of social and emotional readiness. They bring the kids into the classroom in small groups. The kids work one at a time with one teacher while another teacher observes the group that's playing while they're waiting. This helps them balance the classes with kids at different skill levels. It also helps them identify kids who just might not be ready to enroll in K just yet. This might be something to try if you're on the fence about your son.

 

[DISNEYNV]

I think it is really a personal choice if your child should start school at five or wait till they are six. Especially if they are on track developmentally and socially. My DD will turn five in May and is in preschool three days a week and will be entering K in the fall. My DS will miss the cutoff since his b-day is in October so I am glad that I will not have to choose with him. He is our last and I am not upset in the least that he will be home with me for another year. There are some advantages with that as well. When he goes to preschool he will be five so he will have two years of Pre-K. One year of three days and one of five days a week. This will hopefully give him a good start before K!

 

[cheerforchelsea]

I have a daughter with a January birthday and one with a late September birthday. I held both of them until they were 6 to start K....I personally felt that it was a great benefit for them to be a little older when they got out of high school. They were both more mature and a little wiser in making decisions regarding their future. Both always did exceptionally well in school and never got into any trouble.

 

[perkinsrose]

As a teacher & parent, I don't know of anyone that has waited and regretted it. On the flip said, I know many that have sent a young 5 (or even 4 yr old!) to kindergarten and regretted not waiting a year. Sometimes the decision is even made a few years later--my neighbor with an October bday (after agonizing over decision) decided to have her DD repeat 1st grade. It turned out to be the best thing for her academically & emotionally.

I feel like its always better to be older than to be the youngest and possibly struggling or trying to "catch up" developmentally or academically. Being older (and perhaps sometimes ahead) can be great for confidence & self esteem.

There are some families unfortunately that literally cannot afford to wait. For some, its kindergarten or pay for daycare/childcare.

If finances are not an issue, I would almost always wait. Perhaps only highly gifted (1% or less of the population) might always be better off starting sooner. But even then there's other ways to meet the gifted child's needs.

With my own kids, they are at old end of scale--started kindergarten at 5 3/4 but still in kindergarten range. For one child, being older & an earlier reader has been so helpful in self esteem building. For one child, we've briefly considering grade skipping (accelerating) but that's almost like taking years off childhood. They would enter college& workfield that much sooner. I enjoyed my "extra year" with my "early bday" kids and it worked for us. I'm sure there's many other circumstances than the ones I've mentioned. Its a big decision. What I try to get parents to think about when they ask for help deciding--its not just are they ready for kindergarten---its what will it be like being young entering every grade, each year. I'm sure there's many sucessful students that were "young" as well as many struggling "late bdays" that an extra year could've changed the course of their school careers.

Good luck!
I think one of the toughest parts of being a parent is sometimes wondering if you're doing the right thing!

 

[FLmomof2]

We let our daughter go to kindergarten, she has an August b-day. Well she LOVED school but struggled with some of the work. We ended up having her repeat kindergarten this year and she is doing wonderful.

I don't regret sending her last year since she loved being with the other kids and never really did bad in school, she just had a hard time with things (counting to 100, addition and subtraction, and rhyming).

It is a personal decision and its a difficult decision. We had many sleepless nights trying to decide on having her repeat. You will make the right decision!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would send him. Kindergarten is for 5 year olds. Not 6 year olds. JMHO.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

I held all 4 of my children a year before sending them to K they just did an extra year of Pre K. My youngest is the "Grand Old Lady" in her grade I think she may be the very oldest (I may be wrong about that but if she isn't it is close) . We kept her back mostly for social issues and for the fact that she was still taking two hour naps there was no way she was going to make it through a full day of K. And it wasn't a matter of getting her weaned off a nap she literally would drop and be out cold so I figured eldest in the grade or not she was better off staying home that year!

 

[koolaidmoms]

If you can afford it you may want to put him in a kindergarten in a daycare or religious school and then have him repeat kindergarten, if needed, at what would be his regular school. If you think that the one year was enough you can start him right in 1st grade at the regular school. We know MANY people who have done this and all thought it was the best decision they ever made. There is no stigma of being held back from their "friends" they make in kindergarten if they know they are switching schools.

 

[perkinsrose]

I would send him. Kindergarten is for 5 year olds. Not 6 year olds. JMHO.

IMO, kindergarten is for children entering the public school system.

In Michigan, the cut-off for kindergarten is "must be 5 yrs old" by December (either 15th or 30th)

Thus a kindergarten class will have a big range of developmental levles in just the children that are 4 yrs old through almost 6 yrs old not including anyone who needed to wait a year. Also, in recent years the trend for special needs is mainstreaming --children of special needs are in regular classroom (least restrictive environment). PP also mentioned boys mature sooner than girls. Also considering kindergartners may be anywhere on a spectrum of emotional, physical, & cognitive development, Whether a child is 4, 5, or 6---kindergarten teachers are meeting needs of individual children not a calendar age per say.

 

[Lil'DisneyMom]

My DS will be 5 in May, and he will be going to full day Kindergarten in Sept!!

 

[pixiewings71]

My DD12 has a July birthday. She started K when she was 5. She is consistently in the top 3 of her class and I'm glad we sent her when we did. But I had to argue with the school, they wanted us to wait. I told them to come see me regarding her acadamia and her social skills 3 months after school started, the principal and many others told me how wonderful she was and that they had made a mistake in telling me she wasn't ready. Bottom line, only YOU will know if your child is ready or not. Good luck

 

[james'mommy]

My son is an August bday and he started school at 5. We had no problems in K and no problems so far in 1st. But he's an only so he is very mature for his age.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

My son's birthday is July 31. We held him back and he will be 6 when he starts. My oldest was held back and my middle child was not. The middle child struggled more than the older DD. I have not even given holding him back a second thought. I am enjoying the time we spend together and he is learning at home with me. When he does go to K next year I don't think that regretting not sending him early will even be an issue.

 

[momofmmsd5]

I have 5 kids, 3 of them are sept. b-days and the youngest is July like your. I have held all of them. The july one is the same age as yours and we have already decided he will not be starting in sept. It was the best decision we made. As a kindergarden teach once said to me it will NEVER hurt them, they can only benifit from it. With that said you should really talk to his teachers and then just go with your gut! You will know what's best.
Good luck!

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

IMO, kindergarten is for children entering the public school system.

In Michigan, the cut-off for kindergarten is "must be 5 yrs old" by December (either 15th or 30th)

Thus a kindergarten class will have a big range of developmental levles in just the children that are 4 yrs old through almost 6 yrs old not including anyone who needed to wait a year. Also, in recent years the trend for special needs is mainstreaming --children of special needs are in regular classroom (least restrictive environment). PP also mentioned boys mature sooner than girls. Also considering kindergartners may be anywhere on a spectrum of emotional, physical, & cognitive development, Whether a child is 4, 5, or 6---kindergarten teachers are meeting needs of individual children not a calendar age per say.

ITA. I also think that the cut off age for each stae could also play a deciding factor. In Montana the cut off date is Sept 10...no exceptions. My son would have barely been 5.

 

[MTW]

Thanks for all of your input. That's really what I was looking for. We have an informational meeting at his preschool on Tuesday evening for all children eligible to enter kindergarten in the fall. His preschool teacher has already said that he shouldn't have any problem starting kindergarten if we want to send him. Finances aren't an issue at all.
I just want to make sure I am making the decision for the right reasons. I think I would rather not start him than have him repeat a grade. He is small for his age and always has been. Nobody tells you how hard this parenting thing is! Or how wonderful!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

IMO, kindergarten is for children entering the public school system.

In Michigan, the cut-off for kindergarten is "must be 5 yrs old" by December (either 15th or 30th)

Thus a kindergarten class will have a big range of developmental levles in just the children that are 4 yrs old through almost 6 yrs old not including anyone who needed to wait a year. Also, in recent years the trend for special needs is mainstreaming --children of special needs are in regular classroom (least restrictive environment). PP also mentioned boys mature sooner than girls. Also considering kindergartners may be anywhere on a spectrum of emotional, physical, & cognitive development, Whether a child is 4, 5, or 6---kindergarten teachers are meeting needs of individual children not a calendar age per say.

There is kindergarten in private schools as well. It is also not mandatory. You can start your child in 1st grade if you chose and forgo K all together. As for those who say that it can't hurt them well I don't agree. Yes, some children are not ready. The majority are. When that 6 year old is bored out of his mind because he is older and ahead academically there are many scenarios that can occur. He can become what is percieved as a behavioral problem becasue he is bored, he can take up more time with the teacher because he needs more than any other child because he is older and the lessons are something he already learned. Yes, some kids do require more due to ability, be it less or more, but a child that is a year older (unless they are really behind) is not going to be challenged and in the long run I don't think that is any benefit to the child. There is always going to be a youngest and an oldest with a cutoff date. I think that a 12 month window is sufficient.

Teachers are meeting the needs of individuals but they also gear the class towards age appropriate material. A child that is an entire year older is not going to benefit from that. Like I said, if a child really isn't ready then of course they should be held back. I just think that a lot of parents aren't looking at the child. They are looking at the age.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Thanks for all of your input. That's really what I was looking for. We have an informational meeting at his preschool on Tuesday evening for all children eligible to enter kindergarten in the fall. His preschool teacher has already said that he shouldn't have any problem starting kindergarten if we want to send him. Finances aren't an issue at all.
I just want to make sure I am making the decision for the right reasons. I think I would rather not start him than have him repeat a grade. He is small for his age and always has been. Nobody tells you how hard this parenting thing is! Or how wonderful!

Not flaming you at all but this makes my point.