Possibly not sitting with children on airplane

[ducklite]

I just really want to say that I don't think people should take what people post on here so personally. It almost seems as if you are so defensive about what someone posts, as if they are talking about YOU personally! People are just on here to sometimes get things off of their chest and talk about a situation with people who might be going through a similar scenario. People of course have the right to comment, but do you really have to get so upset? Some of the people posting on here act as if they were the ones who made up the seat assignment for the airline! I for one would want at least someone in my party to sit with my child, I do understand that sometimes situations happen, but I would certainly give up my seat if I saw a child seperated from their mother/father if for no other reason then I don't want to be responsible for watching someone elses child. What if the child has an potty accident, or spills juice all over himself or me, what if it is a turbulent flight and the child starts to cry? I don't want to have deal with it. I hope you are able to get to sit with your children. AND, I hope everyone else on here lightens up a little bit. This is supposed to be a place where people can go for advice, not to be attacked! We all have a love of Disney World, the happiest place on earth, this should be like it to! You don't always have to agree with what someone says, but if you don't have anything nice to say, then I think you shouldn't say anything at all.

But looking at the flip side, parents need to prepare for the possibilities of being split up. IMHO it's far better to present very possible scenarios so that people can plan ahead (ie older kids not sitting with parents) than to sprinkle copious amounts of pixie dust and lead people to believe that indeed it will all be fine and they will all sit together--a distant reality at best.

IMHO this is the same type of scneario as people booking standard rooms expecting upgrades. Or people celebrating birthdays expecting free cakes in thier rooms. In reality, these things happen far less than we are often led to believe on these boards, and I've seen many people over the years not prepare accordingly, not temper their expectations, and be sorely disappointed or even very angry in the end.

Sometimes a dose of reality is far better than a sprinkle of pixie dust when it comes to planning.

I'd like to thank MiniGirl for her great imput on this thread. Listen to her folks, she obviously knows what she is talking about. While attempts will be made to help families who are seperated, sometimes it just doesn't happen. FA's will not force passengers to move. And parents need to be prepared with a back up plan.

In the OP's case, my suggestions are to get to the airport very early to check in and try to get seats together. In all honesty, if you live near the airport, even driving over there today and speaking with the agent at the ticket counter might produce results. I think she did a great job preparing the older girls for what is probably the inevitable. Hopefully they will be able to sit together. And one other thing, I would inquire as to seat availability on the next flight a day or two before your travel date just in case. This will potentially give you an option if you can't be seated with the two youngest kids so that you can perhaps ask to be booked on the later flight if they can seat you together there.

And FWIW, even if you end up sitting next to a young child, you are under no obligation to--and from a legal standpoint probably should not--assist that child with anything. If the child has an accident or can't handle their juice, the appropriate action would be to press the flight attendant call button rather than be accused of "touching" someone elses child. I've seen some really stressed out travelers making some outrageous comments and accusations over the years--including one on a Southwest flight last year who carried on about disabled people preboarding before her family, and was kicked out of the preboard line and back over to "C" with her family. It got to the point that airport security was called. These people were the last on, and split up all over the plane. No one moved for them after seeing the scene this woman made. After the way she carried on, it's no wonder people wanted nothing to do with her or her family. Also, it's not always a matter of giving up a seat for a child, sometimes the parents are already sitting next to their other kids, and the "oddball" ends up next to you. Please keep that in mind.

Anne

 

[tjmw2727]

Minigirl

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I guess that I have been very lucky since I was never separated from my parents when younger or from my own children on a plane. I told my DH about the many supportive posts and we told the older 2 that they may have to be separated from us. The look of panic on their faces at first almost made me start to cry, but I made it sound like a great adventure (like mom and dad won't know what kind of soda you asked for - very exciting for them) and now they may be dissappointed if they have to sit with us . I am not a crazy protective mom either - I allow them to go to the restroom on their own, but this is really upsetting for me. Thank you once again. It's nice to know that everything should be fine and well we will be in Florida so all is good

kathe

Terrific - it sounds like you have a plan! At least you knew ahead of time so you can prepare, we were hit by surprise at the gate once and that was a panic. Remember, most of what we worry about never happens and you are already one step ahead of the game. I would check online occasionally prior to the flight to see if anything opens up, you never know.

LOL abou the soda - that would be my youngest who coincidentally is a Rebecca! I would also sneak a couple surprises for them in their carryon maybe a note with a joke from Mom or something.

Oh and if you don't mind a little PSA - check their carryons if they are putting in their own things. We are leaving Friday and my youngest put some lip gloss and hand lotion in her backpack. I am glad I looked because that has to go into the 3-3-1 ziplock.

TJ

 

[Whosemom]

Minigirl

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I guess that I have been very lucky since I was never separated from my parents when younger or from my own children on a plane. I told my DH about the many supportive posts and we told the older 2 that they may have to be separated from us. The look of panic on their faces at first almost made me start to cry, but I made it sound like a great adventure (like mom and dad won't know what kind of soda you asked for - very exciting for them) and now they may be dissappointed if they have to sit with us . I am not a crazy protective mom either - I allow them to go to the restroom on their own, but this is really upsetting for me. Thank you once again. It's nice to know that everything should be fine and well we will be in Florida so all is good

kathe

Now, THAT sounds like what would happen with us. You'll have them all prepped and ready, and some ball team or something will be altogether on the flight, see what's happening and adjust to have you all together. THEN the kids start crying.

 

[wendylovesdisney]

I read this thread as I was originally very interested in what might happen in this situation. I have 2 children, adopted from China ages 2 and 4. The 4 year old has a lot of emotional issues from being in an orphanage but even if she did not - I would NEVER sit apart from her. I would deplane if I had to.

I am a sane, rational person and I do not view everyone as a predator, however I do know the potential is out there. I can watch my children and NOT instill fear in them. In my own personal life, when I was about 12 years old I was molested on an amtrak train (they were much nicer back then). My Mother was sitting close by. There were other people around. A man fondled my breast and I was too freaked out to say anything immediately. Only after my Mother noticed I was acting strange did I tell what happened. The man strongly argued that he would NEVER do anything like that, how could anyone believe a child over him, after all, he is a family man, etc....

So... having said that, I would NEVER allow my child to sit away from me. Not one row, not ever.

The whole bus analogy is a little different. At any rate, it is a bus of kids, not adults. And I assume that bus drivers are checked out at employment. It would be hard to drive a bus and molest a kid at the same time. I just don't view a bus as a threat. It is not the same as sitting on a plane of adults and strangers.

It makes me sad that the OP was venting to "friends" and instead some people chose to attack him or her.

 

[jenwolgey]

I think some of you are getting carried away over nothing. It isn't a matter of a child's wants/needs/desires trumping that of an adult who planned ahead; it is a matter of common courtesy and basic human decency. Sure, the kid is probably going to be just fine without Mom or Dad sitting next to him...but isn't everybody going to have a more pleasant flight because they ARE sitting next to him?

QUOTE]

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Most people would go with the chance of possibly getting thrown up on before they would go with the certainty of spending a flight in a middle seat between 2 strangers.

Yet you expect a 5 year old child to do this? If you as an adult who is capable of taking care of yourself don't want to do it why should I let my child do it? I am not picking on you but this just jumped out at me as ridiculous.
I also wanted to mention that some said you have no obligation to assist any child next to you and you are right, but I wouldn't ignore a child either.That's just me. I do however fault the airline. When I was younger you used to be assigned seats. There was a reason for this. We want to sit together. I will not under any circumstances let my small children sit next to a stranger on a plane unless I or dh are on the other side. I don't think the whole world are predators but I am not going to take the chance anyway. I am responsible for my children and I wouldn't leave them unattended anywhere else so I am not going to start on a plane. I do however agree with Anne to a point- Yes we get to SW early so we can pre-board. Of course if we didn't then it would be our problem. I don't however think that I need to take a different flight because the airline refuses to assign seats. If I had to I would but I still think it is the fault of the airline. Now we know SW doesn't do seat assignments and we plan accordingly. In the case of the person who let her 4 year old act like a 4 year old, that passenger was rude. He even ignored her when she tried to speak to him. I think he got what he deserved. It has nothing to do with ill behaved children. The child was acting like a 4 year old. He didn't want to change seats and that's fine but if I cannot be there to entertain my child and correct him then there is nothing I can do for you. Too bad so sad. JMHO.

 

[rie'smom]

The problem is the airline will not accommodate you,unless the child is either very young or special needs. They have you where they want you. The airline will not refund your money and charge you more to change the flight if there's room on another plane.Even if you select seats online,as I posted earlier,if the flight changes for whatever reason and you lose your seat assignments, the airline won't help.
There really isn't anything you can do,so it's pointless to argue on this thread. I've seen moms in tears and I've seen them yell,all in vain.

 

[livie1205]

But looking at the flip side, parents need to prepare for the possibilities of being split up. IMHO it's far better to present very possible scenarios so that people can plan ahead (ie older kids not sitting with parents) than to sprinkle copious amounts of pixie dust and lead people to believe that indeed it will all be fine and they will all sit together--a distant reality at best.

IMHO this is the same type of scneario as people booking standard rooms expecting upgrades. Or people celebrating birthdays expecting free cakes in thier rooms. In reality, these things happen far less than we are often led to believe on these boards, and I've seen many people over the years not prepare accordingly, not temper their expectations, and be sorely disappointed or even very angry in the end.

Sometimes a dose of reality is far better than a sprinkle of pixie dust when it comes to planning.

I'd like to thank MiniGirl for her great imput on this thread. Listen to her folks, she obviously knows what she is talking about. While attempts will be made to help families who are seperated, sometimes it just doesn't happen. FA's will not force passengers to move. And parents need to be prepared with a back up plan.

In the OP's case, my suggestions are to get to the airport very early to check in and try to get seats together. In all honesty, if you live near the airport, even driving over there today and speaking with the agent at the ticket counter might produce results. I think she did a great job preparing the older girls for what is probably the inevitable. Hopefully they will be able to sit together. And one other thing, I would inquire as to seat availability on the next flight a day or two before your travel date just in case. This will potentially give you an option if you can't be seated with the two youngest kids so that you can perhaps ask to be booked on the later flight if they can seat you together there.

And FWIW, even if you end up sitting next to a young child, you are under no obligation to--and from a legal standpoint probably should not--assist that child with anything. If the child has an accident or can't handle their juice, the appropriate action would be to press the flight attendant call button rather than be accused of "touching" someone elses child. I've seen some really stressed out travelers making some outrageous comments and accusations over the years--including one on a Southwest flight last year who carried on about disabled people preboarding before her family, and was kicked out of the preboard line and back over to "C" with her family. It got to the point that airport security was called. These people were the last on, and split up all over the plane. No one moved for them after seeing the scene this woman made. After the way she carried on, it's no wonder people wanted nothing to do with her or her family. Also, it's not always a matter of giving up a seat for a child, sometimes the parents are already sitting next to their other kids, and the "oddball" ends up next to you. Please keep that in mind.

Anne

i am a mom of three and i would not want to sitting away from my young child either...what if something did happen to the plane and like you stated no one should help someone elses child..and if the guys that big of a jerk he probably would not..also why are most of your posts so mean?ok you gave your opinon why keep on?yes we ALL know what you think about it...give it a rest.

 

[ducklite]

The problem is the airline will not accommodate you,unless the child is either very young or special needs. They have you where they want you. The airline will not refund your money and charge you more to change the flight if there's room on another plane.Even if you select seats online,as I posted earlier,if the flight changes for whatever reason and you lose your seat assignments, the airline won't help.
There really isn't anything you can do,so it's pointless to argue on this thread. I've seen moms in tears and I've seen them yell,all in vain.

Actually I have seen gate agents offer families the option of being rebooked on a later flight at no additional cost when they've had a situation where younger kids were scattered around the plane. I've personally been able to rebook a later flight when neither DH or I were able to sit next to our young son at no additional cost. The key is to be very polite and to ask what the options are. If that isn't offered as one, ask if it would be possible.

That said, it's not going to work on SW where parents need to have enough personal responsibility to get their early enough that it's moot. And except in cases of delayed connections, a parent who isn't checked in at the 24 hour mark and in line early has no one to blame but themselves and should not expect others to move to accomodate them. I think we all can agree on that.

Anne

 

[undertheradar]

The airline will try to get seats together for the adult and younger children. The 8 and 9 y.o. kids should be able to get by with a short 1 hour 15 minute flight. What will happen if you all can't ride a ride at the same time, I trust that you have addressed this possible scenario? Have you prepared your kids for the airport security screening experience? This is an eight page thread that has become rude and insulting. Since many adults DO NOT want to sit next to unattended kids, there should be no problem getting your kids seated together.

 

[ducklite]

i am a mom of three and i would not want to sitting away from my young child either...what if something did happen to the plane and like you stated no one should help someone elses child..and if the guys that big of a jerk he probably would not..also why are most of your posts so mean?ok you gave your opinon why keep on?yes we ALL know what you think about it...give it a rest.

Wow. I thought that post was very nice. Not sugar coated, but certainly not mean. I'm a realist. I don't live in a fairy tale world. If you don't like my posts, then you could put me on ignore. It seems that you are the one attacking, not me.

And if there is an emergency, that's what the flight attendants are for. Unless you are sitting in an exit row--in which case you have agreed to assist prior to take-off--you are under no obligation to help anyone but yourself in case of an emergency. I'm sure you won't like reading that, but it's the absolute truth. If you are flying alone with your three kids, then one of them isn't going to be sitting next to you. You need to prepare that child to be able to be independent and understand what to do in an emergency, and not expect someone to do it for them.

Anne

 

[Mkrop]

Ok how about from a saftey issue, dont the FAs during the preflight instructions say if the oxygen masks drop to put my own on and then my child. Now I hope any decent human being would help my child with this but as we have all seen that many people are not willing to help a child at all. I think the airlines are foolish to not rearrange no matter what the age. Esp the scenario of the 4 yr old left to sit by himself. I guess I just dont understand the airlines and I dont understand why someone would not switch. I would not want that responsibility of someone's else child.

 

[NotUrsula]

Originally posted by Minigirl:
Also, if the parent is in the exit row, you simply cannot put a child there. The f/a that does faces a fine if an FAA agent is onboard. I had an agent once put a child in the exit row to appease a parent and had a terrible time resolving the situation. I eventually did though and we left. During the flight, a man approached me and showed me his FAA ID. He told me he was glad I handled it the way I did because I (not the airline mind you) would have been fined for allowing the child to remain there. He told me he already had the paperwork out when I noticed what was going on. Instead he wrote a nice letter to my supervisor about what a conscientious worker I was and blasting the agent that made my job more difficult that day.

When I suggested asking for the exit row assignment in my post above, I was ONLY suggesting that as a final option if there were absolutely no contiguous seats left on the aircraft to be assigned. I wasn't suggesting that a child *or* that child's parent would actually end up seated there -- the point is that the seats are premium ones and have very good trade value, and it is one of the situations where an FA is actually empowered to force a move, though I have never seen it come to that when the trade offered would put the trading passenger INTO an exit row. (And yes, I know that airline personnel are not supposed to make such an assignment knowing that it will have to be changed for safety reasons, but once a parent with a child has been put into this position through the airline's actions, I think that using whatever means necessary to resolve it as painlessly as possible is justified.)

The best resolution is most possible when two or three seats for an ineligible party are assigned in the exit row, rather than one. Usually when you can get such an assignment done in advance, the gate agent should be the one to resolve it, and IME, they usually do so by offering those seats to the highest-status party of passengers in coach who are not already assigned an exit or bulkhead row. As long as all of the passengers concerned are fully informed, most of the time the effect of doing it this way is a painless switch that the FA's never even have to deal with: the status passengers are pleased with their mini-upgrade, and the parent gets contiguously seated next to the child in the status party's old seats.

For any parent who gets an exit row seat assignment for this reason: bring it to the attention of the gate agent as soon as you arrive at the gate. It is easier all 'round if it gets resolved before the plane boards, though as Minigirl pointed out, an exit row assignment involving a party with a child WILL get resolved before the plane takes off, because not resolving it is a serious violation of safety rules.

 

[ducklite]

The airline will try to get seats together for the adult and younger children. The 8 and 9 y.o. kids should be able to get by with a short 1 hour 15 minute flight. What will happen if you all can't ride a ride at the same time, I trust that you have addressed this possible scenario? Have you prepared your kids for the airport security screening experience? This is an eight page thread that has become rude and insulting. Since many adults DO NOT want to sit next to unattended kids, there should be no problem getting your kids seated together.

I don't think that many posters "DO NOT want to sit next to unattended kids," they just feel that it is not their responsibility to babysit someone else for whatever reason. That goes for unaccompanied minors, unattended minors, drunken businessmen, an elderly person with demensia, or any number of other situations. I do'nt believe that's rude.

Anne

 

[Mkrop]

And if there is an emergency, that's what the flight attendants are for. Unless you are sitting in an exit row--in which case you have agreed to assist prior to take-off--you are under no obligation to help anyone but yourself in case of an emergency. I'm sure you won't like reading that, but it's the absolute truth. If you are flying alone with your three kids, then one of them isn't going to be sitting next to you. You need to prepare that child to be able to be independent and understand what to do in an emergency, and not expect someone to do it for them.

Anne

I think this is why everyone is so passionate here. We want the responsibility of our own child therefore it is beyind my comprehension why someone would not give up their seat or why the airlines will not accomadate a seat change that is made months before hand.

If you arrive late then yes there is some fault but you do not know everyone's story as to why they arrived late. Was it circumstance beyond their control (delayed connection, car trouble etc)?

I would never want to see a parent separated from a child so I would gladly switch. I dont care what the age I dont know that childs tolerance for flying or any other issues so if I was asked and flying solo I would try to help out.

 

[ducklite]

Ok how about from a saftey issue, dont the FAs during the preflight instructions say if the oxygen masks drop to put my own on and then my child. Now I hope any decent human being would help my child with this but as we have all seen that many people are not willing to help a child at all. I think the airlines are foolish to not rearrange no matter what the age. Esp the scenario of the 4 yr old left to sit by himself. I guess I just dont understand the airlines and I dont understand why someone would not switch. I would not want that responsibility of someone's else child.

You wouldn't want it as an airline, but why should the rest of the flying public have that responsibility thrust on them because the airline rearranged seats? I guess I'm not understanding the difference?

And for the record, I WOULD put an oxygen mask on someone unable to put their own on in an emergency. IMHO there's a big difference between helping people in an emergency, and entertaining someone for three hours or dealing with potty issues or anything along those lines.

Anne

 

[ducklite]

I think this is why everyone is so passionate here. We want the responsibility of our own child therefore it is beyind my comprehension why someone would not give up their seat or why the airlines will not accomadate a seat change that is made months before hand.

If you arrive late then yes there is some fault but you do not know everyone's story as to why they arrived late. Was it circumstance beyond their control (delayed connection, car trouble etc)?

I had addressed late connections as something not the parents fault. But car trouble, traffic, running late, etc. are all things that should be anticipated and planned for. When our son was young we would plan on arriving at the airport a full two or more hours early. We padded our travel times by 50%. We once did have a breakdown on the way to the airport, but because we had planned plenty of time, we still made the flight with time to spare.

I would never want to see a parent separated from a child so I would gladly switch. I dont care what the age I dont know that childs tolerance for flying or any other issues so if I was asked and flying solo I would try to help out.

Like I said, I'll switch aisle for aisle with no problem. But I get panic attacks from claustrophobia in other seats, and won't switch to a center or window seat because of it. In that case my need is just as important as the need of a child. I know of at least two other regular Disboard posters who have the same problem.

Anne

 

[disneymom3]

I don't think that many posters "DO NOT want to sit next to unattended kids," they just feel that it is not their responsibility to babysit someone else for whatever reason. That goes for unaccompanied minors, unattended minors, drunken businessmen, an elderly person with demensia, or any number of other situations. I do'nt believe that's rude.

Anne

Well, I don't know, I sure don't want to sit next to an unattended kid! And I am a mom of three! If I am traveling with my own and somehow another child ends up next to us then I wouldn't really have a problem with it, but alone or with just DH and am in vacation mode and don't want to parent anybody!

I am surprised this thread has gotten so long. It is really basic--the OP is going to arrive early and see what she can do. Like as not it will all work out and they will have a great vacation.

 

[ducklite]

I think this is why everyone is so passionate here. We want the responsibility of our own child therefore it is beyind my comprehension why someone would not give up their seat or why the airlines will not accomadate a seat change that is made months before hand.

If you arrive late then yes there is some fault but you do not know everyone's story as to why they arrived late. Was it circumstance beyond their control (delayed connection, car trouble etc)?

I had addressed late connections as something not the parents fault. But car trouble, traffic, running late, etc. are all things that should be anticipated and planned for. When our son was young we would plan on arriving at the airport a full two or more hours early. We padded our travel times by 50%. We once did have a breakdown on the way to the airport, but because we had planned plenty of time, we still made the flight with time to spare.

I would never want to see a parent separated from a child so I would gladly switch. I dont care what the age I dont know that childs tolerance for flying or any other issues so if I was asked and flying solo I would try to help out.

Like I said, I'll switch aisle for aisle with no problem. But I get panic attacks from claustrophobia in other seats, and won't switch to a center or window seat because of it. In that case my need is just as important as the need of a child. I know of at least two other regular Disboard posters who have the same problem.

Anne

 

[maxiesmom]

Like I said, I'll switch aisle for aisle with no problem. But I get panic attacks from claustrophobia in other seats, and won't switch to a center or window seat because of it. In that case my need is just as important as the need of a child. I know of at least two other regular Disboard posters who have the same problem.

Anne

I am someone who suffers from claustrophobia and panic attacks. I always book an aisle seat. I honestly can't say what my reaction would be if I was asked to swtich for a middle or window seat. I wouldn't have such a probelm if it was my family, I would know I could climb over them 15 times and not worry about it. I wouldn't want to be such an impostion on a stranger though.

Am I the only one who actually likes sitting next to children on the plane? I love to talk to them and play games with them. It makes the time go so fast. And I say that as someone who has been puked on during landing by some poor little boy. And as someone who sat behind the children from purgatory on my last flight to Orlando who would lean over the seat with tootsie roll drooling down the front of them, and who fought the whole way down.