Possibly not sitting with children on airplane

[DebRMN]

riginally Posted by Schmeck
Why do you assume your 4 yr old kids are going to scream the entire flight? You have 3 1/2 weeks to introduce them to proper behavior on an airplane. Or are you going to instruct them to scream because they are not with you? I hope you do get to sit near each other, but with 3 kids, are you the only adult? If so, there's no way you are all together - there are only 3 seats next to each other on each side of an aisle, except on international flights.

The above is not me, I am flying with two kids two adults so my odds are I hope more in my favor but this statement I ahd to respond to:

And I am introducing flying to my child and talking about the plane and such but as someone else said each child is different. DS4 will lose his mind if separated from me I think no matter how much I prepare him. He gets upset when he gets dropped off at school some days yet I prepare him all the time, he actually loves it when he comes out, yet today he told me he is not going back (he is on vacation so no issue)

First of all, I would never instruct my child to scream about this sort of situation. Good God, I would go insane listening to them.....not to mention everyone else!

No, I was referring mainly to my son who can be described as the 4 year old above.
His twin would probably be ok, she is a little more 'social'. Obviously, my 20 month old will sit with me.

I know our plane situation will work out. We have 3 young kids, but also 3 adults travelling. Our plane situation has 2 seats together. ALL of the other seats are single seats......nowhere near each other IE one in row 4, one in row 17, one in row 24 one in row 31.


Just my opinion, but I also believe it to be a healthy dose of fear of strangers
at this age, & especially as someone else said in a new situation.
My kids have travelled well (behaved) in the past, to the point of being complimented. That doesn't mean every experience will be the same.......that is the joy, & headache, of being a parent of young children.

 

[Mkrop]

What amazes me reading all these thread is Why are these kids afraid of flying? Where does that come from, I wonder? Kids aren't born afraid of things they are born looking at everything as an adventure. Kids shouldn't know to be afraid unless it has been instilled in them. My kids have always looked at and been taught to look at flying as a form of transportation just like getting in a car. You get in, put your seatbelt on and go, no big deal. If we are together that is nice, if we aren't oh well we all get there at the same time. My DD once her Brother was born didn't want to sit with us because she wants a window and doesn't want to share so from first grade up has sat in a row in front or behind us so she can have a window. We aren't going backward, flying is only going to get more available it shouldn't be looked at as a big deal or a rarity.

To answer your question my DD has flown solo since first grade.

Now for my flame suit but a child should know how to act whether Mom is next to them or not-most kids behave better when not around parents.

Because every child/adult is different. I have not taught my child to be afraid of school yet he is anxious everyday. I tell him day in and day out how much fun it will be, and he does have fun yet everyday he says he doesnt want to go and would like to stay home w/ me. My other son was like "later mom" from day one. So I think you are lucky that your daughter is so independent but that is probably part of her personality vs something you taught her. I mean you put 30 children in a room and you will get 30 different personailties and temperments and tolerances. Even the best behaved child can have a bad day, if it happens to be the day were flying I would like to be there to minimize the situation at best. With children there is not always an apparent rhyme or reason to them acting up, some days the only guess I have is it is a full moon!

And I totally agree with the poster about roller coasters DS9 LOVES them yet it has been a struggle now to get DS4 to even go own a merry go round.He has been to the Boardwalk and Hershey Park every eyar of his life. WE had a big breakthrough last year so that is why we are giving Disney a shot. Will he ever love roller coaster as much as his brother only time will tell. Should I think less of this child because he is not adventurous to give it a try. NO!
ANd even DH43 has issue with the indoor simulator rides yet LOVES roller coasters. Why the world has many flavors of ice cream vs just vanilla and chocolate.

Also DS9 my adventourous, doesnt really need mom, roller coaster riding son, gets sick in the car on short rides!!!!! I dont think I taught him to do that, believe me after cleaning throw up in the car for 9 years! He is more anxious about the car some days then any rollercaoster!

I mean if my child has never flown how am I to know that we may not have an issue with anything. I mean the poster Anne here has legitiamate flying issues, claustrophobia and panic attacks. Why couldnt my child as well (I hope to heaven not) but how am I to know. I mean in your scenario this grown woman should just suck it and deal. I dont know why you would ask that of her or any child.

 

[NotUrsula]

For now, the frequent fliers are having their say.

Um, no.

If you go lurk around Flyertalk you'll find that frequent fliers as a species really do not want to sit next to children who are not their own (actually some of them don't want to sit next to children that ARE their own, and will pay big bucks for the privilege of putting the kids in coach whilst the parents upgrade.) If the average FF had his way, there would be a "family zone" on every plane, located well aft of the wing, with a no-crossing bulkhead to keep the kids completely contained during the flight. (And we won't even discuss what the average male FF thinks about kids sitting in F! A lot of them have a hard time with the presence of women, let alone kids.)

FF's not wanting to give up their favorite seating position doesn't mean that they are in favor of separating children from their adults. They want the airline to keep you together, they just want you to be somewhere else on the plane.

Make no mistake, the only party that is fine with this system is the airline. They just love being able to stick 5 no-status passengers with 5 isolated middle seats that they would otherwise have a danged hard time selling.

What a rule such as the UK's would mean in theory is that in the event of an equipment change, parties with kids would go to the top of the seat reassignment priority list, and would have their seats reassigned in blocs before any smaller parties would get new assignments. (Note that I said blocs, not necessarily rows. "Arm's reach" can just as easily mean the row in front of or behind the parent.) In practice, many UK airlines do not give advance seat assignments to any non-status passengers unless they pay extra for them, so those with status and those who pay extra for assigned seats end up at the front of the plane, and family groups and the frugal end up at the back.

Honestly, this is why I think that open-seating (as with SWA) is best for families; it puts the passenger in control of the seating arrangement, not the airline.

 

[Mkrop]

We will be flying SW this time so I hope so!

 

[seashoreCM]

One thing that may hasten the passage by Congress by a bill to mandate close seating for parents and small children is for the parents to get up every now and then to look after their children, take the children to the bathroom, etc.

Once my fad gets going, the need will dawn on the airlines, as opposed to being something that will hit the airlines in the head.

Disney hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I was pointing out that the parent just expected the child to scream if not seated next to a parent - and that the parent wasn't planning on doing anything about it, as in, preparing the child for the chance that he/she might be a few seats away, etc. I guess they could take the advice given by many, and just be asked to be put on the next flight out if they could sit together then. Also wanted to point out that with 3 kids, they couldn't all sit next to mommy, no matter how much they planned ahead. I guess the littlest one could be a lap baby?

Before our first international flight, I spent a lot of time prepping my kids for what they might encounter. Just seems to make sense to be prepared.

See but here's the issue. You can prepare a child as much as you want but they are still a child. You can prepare my MIL all you want for a plane trip but when the time comes she will simply not get on a plane. She is terrified! You cannot expect children to just accept what you tell them and that's it. They have feelings and fears too. The poster was saying that her child was going to scream, but if it did happen and that child was a couple of rows away there was nothing she could do if the seatbelt signs are on.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

What amazes me reading all these thread is Why are these kids afraid of flying? Where does that come from, I wonder? Kids aren't born afraid of things they are born looking at everything as an adventure. Kids shouldn't know to be afraid unless it has been instilled in them. My kids have always looked at and been taught to look at flying as a form of transportation just like getting in a car. You get in, put your seatbelt on and go, no big deal. If we are together that is nice, if we aren't oh well we all get there at the same time. My DD once her Brother was born didn't want to sit with us because she wants a window and doesn't want to share so from first grade up has sat in a row in front or behind us so she can have a window. We aren't going backward, flying is only going to get more available it shouldn't be looked at as a big deal or a rarity.

To answer your question my DD has flown solo since first grade.

Now for my flame suit but a child should know how to act whether Mom is next to them or not-most kids behave better when not around parents.

Well- my dh and I have never mentioned or shown any fear of flying. Yet my 4 year old gets nervouse during takeoff. We have reassured him etc. but it still makes him nervous. Why are some kids afraid to ride Space Mountain? Some kids are more daring than others. Also- this has niothing to do with a child knowing how to act when Mom is not next to them, it is Mom being able to provide what is needed to keep a child occupied while strapped in a seat for a few hours as well as providing help in an emergency (ie: Oxygen masks).

 

[maxiesmom]

How has this thread gone from people complaining when they are seperated from their children(which is understandable, even if I don't agree with some of the solutions offered) to expecting children who are sitting alone to be happy and carefree? As an adult, I have flow alone quite a few times, but I am still more relaxed when I have a travel companion. I can't imagine that just telling a 4yr old eveything is fine, mommy is just 3 rows up, works for every child. I'm sure it wouldn't work with my 12yr old niece.

Face it people, we are not all the same. We react to situations differently. Adults and children. Some people may not mind switching seats. Some may have a big problem with it. Some children may not mind sitting away from mom and dad, some may simply not be able to handle it. In my experience you cannot lecture away fear.

 

[Mkrop]

DH and I have never taught either my kids about flying. We have been talking about the trip etc. Just now DS4 asked Daddy if he could stay home with him and not run errands. Well DH explained that he had to run them etc but guess what soon we are going to spend a lot of time together in WDW and it is going to be so much fun. SO after reading this thread I decided to say and isnt it going to be cool to ride a an airplane, big smile on my face, it is going to be so much fun. Well DS4 just looked at me totally straight faced and said " I think I am a little scared" We told him not to worry it is going to be fun and we are going to see Mickey. Well I still dont think he is convinced. This conversation happened 10 minutes ago.

So dont try to convince me I "taught"my child that!

 

[piraterose]

What amazes me reading all these thread is Why are these kids afraid of flying? Where does that come from, I wonder?

It really has nothing to do with flying itself. It's so many things beside that.

1) Separation axiety is a well known childhood milestone.

2)Children can be very sensitive to even the uncomfort of ear popping (last trip my daughter complain about her ears for 3 days after a trip - mine usually bother me for 24 hours, so I take her seriously).

3) The fact that it's an unknown situation. Children are drilled not to go away from their parents, no matter how much you prepare them, it's still psychologically scary.

Why do we need to expect kids to behave as adults. They are not physically capable of it (spilling drinks, having potty accidents) emotionally capable of it (separation axiety), or mentally capable of it (understanding that some adults don't want their ears talked off).

(And personally, some of the things I mentioned are not acheiveable by some adults I've sat next to in the past.)

Add to that the excitement of a plane flight (and whatever is at the other end of the flight WDW or otherwise) and no parent there to keep their active minds busy, when they start to get restless. You have a recipe for anything to happen.

Are all these kids screaming... no. But can they all be expected to be little angels? heck no.

IMHO, if my child is ever separated in a flight and no one is willing to move, for a good reason or not, good luck to them. I will do what I can to make sure she's on her best behavior. But a child's best behavior is not adult best behavior. And as the parent I cannot jump up each time there is a problem (if the seatbelt light is on or a f/a serving drinks). And me yelling over to her every three minutes is going to disturb everyone.

I seriously believe that the govenment need to set up a no separation rule for children 5 and under. I find other countries (especially European) are much more tolerant, accomodating and protective of children, as far as making them if not first, than very high priority.

In the end, the only thing you can expect with children is the unexpected.

 

[stephen11]

JENNSBABYSKY - I totally agree.

Steve