Possibly not sitting with children on airplane

[Schmeck]

To the OP - here's some positive vibes that everything works out OK! ~~~~

To those planning on demanding to be seated next to your child 'or else' - 2 older men were this close ][ to getting removed from our flight out of Denver in February because they wouldn't sit and buckle up when the pilot told them to. They were too busy trying to fit oversized bags and coats into the completely filled overhead compartments. The pilot informed them that there were 15 people on standby that would love to have their seats

So, if you refuse to sit, the pilot won't care, he'll just have you escorted off and let on a few standbys.

 

[jodifla]

To the OP - here's some positive vibes that everything works out OK! ~~~~

To those planning on demanding to be seated next to your child 'or else' - 2 older men were this close ][ to getting removed from our flight out of Denver in February because they wouldn't sit and buckle up when the pilot told them to. They were too busy trying to fit oversized bags and coats into the completely filled overhead compartments. The pilot informed them that there were 15 people on standby that would love to have their seats

So, if you refuse to sit, the pilot won't care, he'll just have you escorted off and let on a few standbys.

What does this have to do with anything on this thread?

And I don't see that anyone said they demanded to sit next to their children "or else."

But many of us have said if an adult can't put aside his own selfish needs for a plane ride to accommodate a very young -- and/or special needs --child, then they get what they deserve....mainly, a long trip sitting next to a child who needs attention.

not to mention mucho bad karma.

 

[crashbb]

If all else fails just make it quite clear to them that you will not sit down if you are separated (I'm sorry but they can't gaurantee that they won't be sitting your child next to a predator)

To me that does translate to demanding to sit next to their child "or else".

I can see both sides of the argument - in many cases it won't hurt someone to switch so that a small/speical needs child can sit next to a parent. On the other hand, it isn't really the other passenger's problem that (for whatever reason) the parent and child were split up in the first place.

I have bladder issues and sitting in a non-aisle seat is quite uncomfortable for me (and the person or persons who will have to get up to let me out), so, if it can be at all avoided, I'll only switch for another aisle seat.

It also depends on how I am asked, to be honest. A "you have to move" does not get a very good reaction, whereas a "do you mind.." works much better.

Of course, this comes from someone who started flying without my parents on my fifth birthday (the youngest allowable age) and logged many UM flights, so I figure that most children over the age of 5 can sit away from their parents. I do understand that special needs children may differ.

 

[kevschickee]

I can't believe that we have gotten to the point that if a stranger does not want to change spots with us that it is ok for us to try to "get back" at them.

Was the guy a jerk for not changing seats? Most likely. But any parent who looks on while their child misbehaves, and then makes some smart comment about it to a whole section of passangers, is even a bigger jerk IMHO.

I totally agree

 

[jodifla]

To me that does translate to demanding to sit next to their child "or else".

I can see both sides of the argument - in many cases it won't hurt someone to switch so that a small/speical needs child can sit next to a parent. On the other hand, it isn't really the other passenger's problem that (for whatever reason) the parent and child were split up in the first place.

I have bladder issues and sitting in a non-aisle seat is quite uncomfortable for me (and the person or persons who will have to get up to let me out), so, if it can be at all avoided, I'll only switch for another aisle seat.

It also depends on how I am asked, to be honest. A "you have to move" does not get a very good reaction, whereas a "do you mind.." works much better.

Of course, this comes from someone who started flying without my parents on my fifth birthday (the youngest allowable age) and logged many UM flights, so I figure that most children over the age of 5 can sit away from their parents. I do understand that special needs children may differ.

Sorry, I missed that post. Thanks for taking the time to find it....

I think you make a really good point about how you ask, as well. I wouldn't expect anyone with any type of medical need to move, certainly.

 

[jodifla]

With regard to SWA I thought the OP said they were flying back on SWA but apparently I misread - it was disnymomof4 in post 30. I am sorry about that OP.

Since you quoted me I must mention that I am not a monster and I resent the implication.

If a parent has a special needs child then first of all I expect them to take the necessary action to get seats together. Just as the OP is by posting here as and following the advice she gets. If a FA approaches me and discretly explains the situation (a special needs child) I would move without hesitation. If a parent approached me and demanded my seat I would likely not give up my seat.

LIke I said I have always given up my seat in the past but if I choose not to that certainly not make me "a monster".

TJ

You are quite obviously not a monster however! You said yourself in your quote that you felt you had no choice but to give up your seat because the child looked so scared and sad. What would you think of a person who saw the same upset child as you, but couldn't be bothered to give up his/her seat.

 

[Gillian]

Maybe karma was paying him a visit...I begged him to trade places with me and he was VERY rude and negative. He ignored me the first couple times I asked him. My DS had just turned 4 and at that age they are not the best behaved kids, especially a hyper child early in the morning. Since he was behind me I couldn't keep a close eye on him and did go back a couple times to check on him and try to make him calm down. I said it was a bumpy ride and because of that the seatbelt sign was on and I couldn't get up for most of the flight. Any 4 year old will try to look out the window, especially if they have never flown before. All the magazines were in front of this persons chair so DS wanted to see them (having to reach over him to get them) and was asking him questions like any 4 year old would. I normally keep a very tight leash on him and had been sitting next to me would have said the usual SIT DOWN, HUSH, STOP MESSING WITH THINGS etc but since he was way behind me, the seatbelt sign was on there was nothing I could do. I asked the guy again if he would switch or accomodate me and he still said no. I tried my best and DS was excited to be on a plane. I can't control everything. The flight was bumpy and his OJ spilled. Open drinks on a bumpy flight just sitting on a tray is a recipe for disaster. I can't say if DS bumped him or not but I know he wouldn't spill it on purpose. He DOES have manners. Everyone got tired of me getting up and down, up and down. I shouldn't have to.

I didn't read the whole thread, but I don't think you need to defend yourself to most of us. My daughter is the same age now and there's no way I'd want her sitting by herself. In a perfect world she wouldn't kick the seat in front of her, or spill things, or be scared of a new situation, but this isn't a perfect world and I wouldn't expect perfect behavior in that case.

4 is very, very young. Just ask my daughter's preschool teacher.

It's a shame that no one would switch with you.

 

[jodifla]

I didn't read the whole thread, but I don't think you need to defend yourself to most of us. My daughter is the same age now and there's no way I'd want her sitting by herself. In a perfect world she wouldn't kick the seat in front of her, or spill things, or be scared of a new situation, but this isn't a perfect world and I wouldn't expect perfect behavior in that case.

4 is very, very young. Just ask my daughter's preschool teacher.

It's a shame that no one would switch with you.

Exactly! No 4 year old should be sitting alone on a plane! Rude jerk guy got what he deserved.

 

[HelenePA]

Exactly! No 4 year old should be sitting alone on a plane! Rude jerk guy got what he deserved.

if my 4 yr old was next to him he would have jumped off the plane... she'll talk anyone ear off about anything. As much as we TRY to get her to be quiet it doesn't always work.. ya know why.. because she's FOUR! I'm pretty glad we will get a preboard on SW (thank god for infants!)

To the OP good luck! I hope things work out for your family!

 

[rie'smom]

There have been times when we arrived very early to try to get our seats together and it didn't work. It was the same scenario with our seat selections getting changed for whatever reason.
People were not willing to change their seats and these were mostly adults travelling w/out kids.
My children were fine-I was a wreck. They behaved beautifully and their seat mates even complimented me on their behavior.
Don't let you kids know that you're upset because then they might get upset too. Kids usually rise to the occassion.

 

[Mkrop]

Boy I feel bummed out between this thread and the Children by themsleves in the Bathroom thread.

Also comparing a bus ride to an airplane ride is a stretch Some people including children could be terrified of a plane ride. If you as adult can be anxious then so too can a child no matter what their age.

I want to be seated with my child, they are my responsibility and no one elses. It is hard for me to take action on any thing if I am not there to have them on their best behavior.

This happened to us on USAir when DS was 18 months on a flight to Tampa, in a car seat. We got our tickets and we were all booked separately. I called them and pleaded and they said there was nothing I could do until I got to the gate. So we arrived early and they quickly rearranged us but said they could not do this for the ride home. Once again we got there early but this time it was a little harder because all the cruises were coming back and it took several times of them asking people to move before someone would agree. Finally someone did and it all worked out but man was I sweating it.

It also can work the opposite way. DH was flying home from Ohio when he noticed he was sitting next to 2 school age kids (you know the ones who are suppose to know how to behave!) and mom was sitting in the row in front. He said to the mom, "oh do you want me to switch with you so you can be with your kids" and she said no and put on her headphones meanwhile her kids were complete brats, fighting and turning on the fans and lights etc. DH said it was the longest flight ever!

 

[MiniGirl]

If they don't respond, a flight attendant can ask the passenger to move. If all else fails leave the passenger tons of information/ instructions so that they can supervise your kids (like an overprotective parent leaving their child with a babysitter for the first time.) "Don't forget she allergic to milk so make sure to take the cheese off her sandwich. And DS isn't fully potty trained so you have to take him to the bath room every 30 minutes. Oh, you want to trade seats now? Great." OK, I'm kidding. Well sort of. My youngest son is a terrible traveler. More than once I've wanted to not sit with him on a plane.

Former flight attendant here.....

Just remember you can ask a f/a to help, but at least when I was working, a f/a could only ask -- not require. In all my years flying though, it was only an issue once. My response was similar to Elaine R's suggestion. I handed the passenger who refused to move an airsickness bag and explained that the child got sick on landing during his last leg. I told him if this happened that hs mother would be several rows in front of him and unable to help and I would be in my seat (per FAA regulations) and unable to help as well, but we'd be there as soon as we were allowed to get up. He huffed and puffed but did get up after that. However, like I said, that was the only time in thousands of instances when someone wasn't willing to help. I should also add that I was asking him to move from his center seat to an exit row aisle seat (more leg room) 2 rows up, and I offered him a free drink. He still refused to move. Only then did I pull out the bag.

Also, to the PP who said you could just refuse to take a seat and the airline couldn't remove you as long as you were being polite. No offense, but you are incorrect. You can be sweet as honey while refusing to obey any of the rules and still be removed. It is your actions more than your attitude that counts. However, many times I wished attitude (bad) was reason enough to remove someone.

 

[jenrein]

OP- Hi there! From Rochester area as well.

I cant say I have ever experienced this problem, but I feel the same way you do. I would NOT be able to sit apart from kids that age. There is just no way. I know you dont have much choice in the matter but I wish you luck in figuring everything out.

 

[mrs. magoo]

Jenrein,

Hello right back at you. I see from your signature that you are staying at POR. We stayed at FQ in December 2005 and loved it. Have a great trip.

Thanks for the good vibes.

Kathe

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My oldest son has Asperger's Syndrome and we almost had a situation on a United flight a couple of years ago. When I made the reservation, the agent said she couldn't assign us seats. We'd have to wait until check-in and they wouldn't guarantee we would be seated together. I explained that we had 2 kids. She said only kids 5 and under would be guaranteed a seat with a parent (our kids were 6 and 9 at the time). I said that my oldest has special needs and would need to be seated next to one of us. That comment alone got us a row of 3 seats together for the boys and me and a seat directly across the aisle for my husband. They put us in the very last row of the plane, but we were together so it didn't matter. We had the same seats for both flights (departing and returning home).

Since your child has sensory issues, you can tell the airline you have a special needs child. That might get you seats together. Good luck!

 

[Whosemom]

It also can work the opposite way. DH was flying home from Ohio when he noticed he was sitting next to 2 school age kids (you know the ones who are suppose to know how to behave!) and mom was sitting in the row in front. He said to the mom, "oh do you want me to switch with you so you can be with your kids" and she said no and put on her headphones meanwhile her kids were complete brats, fighting and turning on the fans and lights etc. DH said it was the longest flight ever!

I am VERY sorry for your DH, but still... That is rich. I bet the end of a very long trip for the mom. Hope she didn't sprint off the plane nd run for the car.

One thing I don't get. How come the person next to the kid is the only bad guy? Doesn't anyone ask the person next to the parent? Aren't they in just as much of a position to help? If you are going to secretly delight in your 4yo acting like a 4yo, have you considered also letting the mom act like a mom? Fix your neighbor's clothes, take their snack and open it for them. Tell them no caffeine when drinks are offered.

I know I'm being goofy, but for pete's sake guys.

 

[NotUrsula]

One thing I don't get. How come the person next to the kid is the only bad guy? Doesn't anyone ask the person next to the parent? Aren't they in just as much of a position to help?

The reason that very few people mention this scenario is that most of the time, the child is assigned a middle seat when this happens. Getting a solo adult who is in an aisle or window seat to voluntarily trade INTO a middle seat is nearly impossible. Most people would go with the chance of possibly getting thrown up on before they would go with the certainty of spending a flight in a middle seat between 2 strangers.

Any time an airline agrees to assign seats in advance but cannot get any contiguous assignments for you, also try to get as many aisle seats as you can, or any seat in the first 5 rows that is NOT a middle. These have the best trade value. (The rows directly in front of an exit row and the final row in the plane do not recline, these are not as useless for trading as middles, but they are close to it.)

If you can sweet-talk the agent into assigning you an exit row even though you both know you can't sit there, jump at it -- that's the best trade value of all.

 

[MiniGirl]

When I was still flying, I did look at where both seats were assigned, and I always tried to make the switch a plus for the person being switched (ie, and aisle instead of their center seat, etc.) Also, you are more likely to have 2 solo travelers on each side of a center seat and a couple (or another parent and child) sitting in the row with someone assigned to a window or aisle. (I hope that makes sense.) Also, if the parent is in the exit row, you simply cannot put a child there. The f/a that does faces a fine if an FAA agent is onboard. I had an agent once put a child in the exit row to appease a parent and had a terrible time resolving the situation. I eventually did though and we left. During the flight, a man approached me and showed me his FAA ID. He told me he was glad I handled it the way I did because I (not the airline mind you) would have been fined for allowing the child to remain there. He told me he already had the paperwork out when I noticed what was going on. Instead he wrote a nice letter to my supervisor about what a conscientious worker I was and blasting the agent that made my job more difficult that day.

Sorry, I digress..... Bottom line..... Yes, sometimes a person by the parent is asked to move and sometimes a person by the child is the one that is asked. I have even moved both parent and child because I was able to find 2 solo travelers sitting together or a couple that was willing to split up or even a mother with an older child willing to split in order to let a parent sit with a young child. Like I said in an earlier post, I've had this happen on my flights thousands of times and all but once I was able to find someone willing to move. There are still a lot of very nice people out there.

 

[mrs. magoo]

Minigirl

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I guess that I have been very lucky since I was never separated from my parents when younger or from my own children on a plane. I told my DH about the many supportive posts and we told the older 2 that they may have to be separated from us. The look of panic on their faces at first almost made me start to cry, but I made it sound like a great adventure (like mom and dad won't know what kind of soda you asked for - very exciting for them) and now they may be dissappointed if they have to sit with us . I am not a crazy protective mom either - I allow them to go to the restroom on their own, but this is really upsetting for me. Thank you once again. It's nice to know that everything should be fine and well we will be in Florida so all is good

kathe

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

I just really want to say that I don't think people should take what people post on here so personally. It almost seems as if you are so defensive about what someone posts, as if they are talking about YOU personally! People are just on here to sometimes get things off of their chest and talk about a situation with people who might be going through a similar scenario. People of course have the right to comment, but do you really have to get so upset? Some of the people posting on here act as if they were the ones who made up the seat assignment for the airline! I for one would want at least someone in my party to sit with my child, I do understand that sometimes situations happen, but I would certainly give up my seat if I saw a child seperated from their mother/father if for no other reason then I don't want to be responsible for watching someone elses child. What if the child has an potty accident, or spills juice all over himself or me, what if it is a turbulent flight and the child starts to cry? I don't want to have deal with it. I hope you are able to get to sit with your children. AND, I hope everyone else on here lightens up a little bit. This is supposed to be a place where people can go for advice, not to be attacked! We all have a love of Disney World, the happiest place on earth, this should be like it to! You don't always have to agree with what someone says, but if you don't have anything nice to say, then I think you shouldn't say anything at all.