Pay for kid that doesn't live at home?

[Hikergirl]

Everyone does things differently so there is no right or wrong way.
If I invite any of my kids on a trip, especially one as expensive as WDW I will pay for them as long as I am able too.
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking your young adult children to pay their way, as long as there is no pressure on them to go. It's a big expense for a young adult and they may choose not to and parents have to be Ok with that.
I also think that when you expect them to pay their way, you have to also expect that they may not spend the entire vacation with you and they will do their own thing.
I'm not saying you are doing any of those things OP, they are just general thoughts.

 

[Miffy]

I feel obligated to bring her and I want her to go - UUGGGGG

jwright: I knew that "2010" was a typo. I was just joking!

If obligation is the overriding feeling you have about this, then I think you should not even ask. It's your trip, not a chance to fulfill obligations, but a way to relax and have fun. However, you also say that you want her to go. If the wanting is bigger than the obligation, then, really, just pay for her trip or at least a significant enough part of it that she'd be able to afford the rest. Assuming you can afford it.

Sure, your daughter's current behavior is annoying, but you love her. There's no more annoying person than someone you love!

 

[Nagle]

I would pay for my child in this instance, and be very happy to do so.

 

[Nancyg56]

I have not read all of the responses, but I think that there is no wrong answer. We still contribute to trips when we can, and my children are all adults and married. I also do nto believe "age" plays into these decisions, becuase every adult child has a different set of circumstances, adn how you address those circumstances is a personal decision. I have friends who planned a vacation and only one daughter was not able to go. The younger one had just married and declined. She never said that she and her husband did not have the money, she just declined. The older daughter is settled, and her spouse has a healthy income. They acc
My friend later found out that money was the reason, and felt so darn bad. She would have paid gladly for the opportunity to have then entire family join them.

Frankly, I think that the decision to help pay for family trips is an individual one, so you need to decide how you want to handle it before you ask her to join you. I imagine you will have an idea how she is financially, and if paying for a trip would send her to eating Ramen for months or not.

I was married with a child at 18 and missed out on a lot of vacations as my family grew. I did not resent that I could not go, however I will not put my own children in that position if I can avoid it. If we can help we offer. If not, we try to manage a trip all can afford without causing financial pain.

 

[brockash]

Ok, so I have a daughter who will be 19 in sept and is moving out of our house to live with her boyfriend.....she plans to move our later this year. We are planning a disney trip for March 2010.....Does anyone here think I should pay for her to go on the trip with us (her boyfriend is not going) or should I make her pay for her trip? I have no clue

My vote would be you pay. She's 19. Generally ppl. just starting out don't have much money, are generally struggling and usually it wouldn't be a responsible choice for them to spend that much money on that kind of vacation.

My parents still paid for me to go on family vacations like that and now as my oldest is approaching that age we plan on offering the same.

 

[Rach3975]

It sounds like you want her on the trip, but maybe also want some space from her. If it were me, I'd offer to pay but put some limitations in place if she accepts. For example, she's expected to join the family for certain plans each day (an ADR and a few rides afterward or a late lunch through the evening show..whatever makes sense to you) and can spend the rest of the day as she wants. That might be the best of both worlds for both you and your daughter.

When I was in college, my parents expected me to join them on all family vacations so they paid in full. When I started working full time (which is also when I moved out, not counting dorm rooms), I no longer had the time to do that. My parents don't live nearby, so I was using a lot of vacation time just to visit them. My visits weren't usually during my younger siblings' school breaks and weren't planned that far in advance due to work, so we couldn't take vacations then. For many years we didn't travel together. Then once I had kids, my parents decided they wanted to start taking a family vacation again. We don't do expensive vacations like WDW with them, more like they'll rent a house near a lake for a week and pay for groceries. It's important to them to pay--my siblings and I are all in our 40's now and we've all offered to chip in so that we can do a different kind of vacation together, but my parents won't even consider the idea.

My oldest is 15, and it will be interesting to see how this plays out in our family. On the one hand, we're going to want him to keep vacationing with us, especially when we're still bringing the younger 2 along. The 3 kids have a lot of fun together, and he's the one who makes a lot of that happen. On the other hand, he's incredibly picky about how he spends his time, doesn't want to do 80% of the activities we do on vacation (even when we try to choose with him in mind), and complains way too much. I don't think it's going to be something he grows out of, unfortunately, since he's just like my father. I honestly don't know whether we'll still be vacationing with him when he's a young adult, but if we decide to invite him we'll pay for him.

 

[cedricandsophie]

If we want our kids, in their 40s, and grandkids (17 and 23) to go on a trip, we pay. We can afford it, they can’t. And if we want to be with them it’s well worth it to us. If you don’t care, then don’t pay.

 

[TaraWasHere]

If I ask someone to do something with me, then I pay for it. Be it a meal, a movie, or even in this case a trip. I am paying for our daughter (who is also 19) to go with us this year, and I am happy to do it. I want her to be there, so I am willing to pay. That's just me though.