Pay for kid that doesn't live at home?

[jwright820]

Ok, so I have a daughter who will be 19 in sept and is moving out of our house to live with her boyfriend.....she plans to move our later this year. We are planning a disney trip for March 2010.....Does anyone here think I should pay for her to go on the trip with us (her boyfriend is not going) or should I make her pay for her trip? I have no clue

 

[Christine]

I pay for my adult children (20s) to go.

Why? Because I *want* them on the trip with me. They have limited funds and limited vacation time. They also can't afford the Disney trip prices. So if I want them there with me, I pay. If I didn't care if they went on the trip, maybe I would make them pay. I don't know.

 

[Magical2017]

That is up to you. I would not mind paying but if you decide not to, that is perfectly fine. It is your money.

 

[Disneylover99]

Ok, so I have a daughter who will be 19 in sept and is moving out of our house to live with her boyfriend.....she plans to move our later this year. We are planning a disney trip for March 2010.....Does anyone here think I should pay for her to go on the trip with us (her boyfriend is not going) or should I make her pay for her trip? I have no clue

It’s up to you. She’s an adult and If she’s living on her own or with her boyfriend I’d expect her to be financially independent. So I don’t think anyone should expect you to pay. I would give her the option of coming and let her know what she needs to pay for. But if you are adamant that you want her to go, expect to pay.

 

[robinb]

Ok, so I have a daughter who will be 19 in sept and is moving out of our house to live with her boyfriend.....she plans to move our later this year. We are planning a disney trip for March 2010.....Does anyone here think I should pay for her to go on the trip with us (her boyfriend is not going) or should I make her pay for her trip? I have no clue

I am paying for my DD19 and her BF21 in August. They are moving in together as they are now both at the same university. It's the only way I can vacation with her and it's worth it to me.

 

[Sjm9911]

I cant see a 19 yo being financially independent. So pay for them if you want them to go. You daughter, i figure, who hasn't even moved out yet, has yet to pay rent, utillities, food , etc by herself. I would pay for her, and be happy shes independent enough to move out on her own! Good luck.

 

[butterscotchcollins]

Ok, so I have a daughter who will be 19 in sept and is moving out of our house to live with her boyfriend.....she plans to move our later this year. We are planning a disney trip for March 2010.....Does anyone here think I should pay for her to go on the trip with us (her boyfriend is not going) or should I make her pay for her trip? I have no clue

I think that depends on your parenting philosophy and whether you want to use this as an opportunity to teach her about responsibility/saving for big expenses, or treat her to a trip with your family because it wouldn't be the same without her. I'd recommend you have a conversation with her about how she views her adult responsibilities in your family - if she's old enough to move out on her own and pay rent/expenses, is she old enough to contribute to a family trip?

For the record I don't think there's a wrong answer - 19 is still very young, my parents paid for my part of our family vacations until I was in my late 20s because the important thing was being together, not feeling like they were "owed" a contribution, and that made me want to contribute and split the expense when I was finally able to instead of resenting them for it.

 

[J'aime Paris]

We will probably pay for DD (20 yrs. old) to vacation with us for as many years as she's willing to still tag along, lol!
But she's our only child, so we don't have other kids to pay for. Definitely makes it more doable.

But you do what works for your family.

 

[stephk1981]

I agree with other posters, do what you feel is best. Maybe you are swaying back and forth on the decision though... understandable. If you really want DD19 to go, be ready to pay for her trip. If it's not that important ( I'm not saying she isn't important!!!!! Just saying if it's fairly okay with you that she misses the trip) then say, this is when we are going....if you want to join, this is how much your portion will be. Be prepared for her to not be able to afford it, I don't know her job situation, but a 19 and living on her own.... vacations may not be in the budget. Also be prepared for her boyfriend to come and join ( if she is paying her own way, she may infact want to include him and have a couples/ family vacation etc.) I hope your family enjoys the trip either way!

 

[Eeyore daily]

I guess my family is different. My siblings are in their 30's and my parents still paid for their rooms/tickets to Disney since they get the military salute and I highly doubt they were paid back. I being in my 20's with much less money then them usually just pay for my own ticket.

A 19 year old probably can't afford to live on their own and afford a Disney vacation. I've been on my own since that age and I'll be 25 when I can finally go independent of family for financial reasons.

 

[sponica]

Yeah that one's up to you, there's no right or wrong answer.

If her going is important pay for what you would normally pay for or come to some sort of split.

I think the last time I went on vacation with my mom, she covered my meals and lodging. I covered my transportation and park tickets.

 

[SG131]

Ok, so I have a daughter who will be 19 in sept and is moving out of our house to live with her boyfriend.....she plans to move our later this year. We are planning a disney trip for March 2010.....Does anyone here think I should pay for her to go on the trip with us (her boyfriend is not going) or should I make her pay for her trip? I have no clue

I agree with PPs if you want her to go on the trip pay for her. If you don't pay assume she won't be coming along. Maybe she can swing it, but it is very unlikely. Even if she can swing it she may choose not to spend her money that way. The responsible choice on her part most likely be to not spend such a big chunk of money at this stage.

I know my parents still paid for vacation for me in my 20's. I was in college, but even if it would've been my first few years out of college I wouldn't have been able to swing a disney trip. Either option is fine. If you're sentimental and feel like you'd spend a lot of time missing her and wishing she was doing x and y with you then I think it is worth paying for her. If you think you'll be ok with her staying home and want to use this as a teachable moment then don't pay. Personally, I'm the sentimental type and if I could swing it I would do it.

 

[WonderlandisReality]

I used to pay for whatever it cost to add me to the reservation. Usually contributed to food. Bought any souvenirs and whatnot on my own. My parents usually covered flights with air miles. 20 years ago that was ~$300 total or about 1-2 weeks paycheck gross.

 

[OhDannyBoy]

If you expect her to go, don't expect her to pay.
If you expect her to pay, don't expect her to go.

Maybe compromise. Pay for this and she pays for that. It really depends on both yours and hers financial situations.

 

[mjkacmom]

If my adult children (18, 21, 22) are willing to use precious time off from work/school to come on a family vacation, I’m paying! I’m sure they would much rather travel with friends/SO’s at this point in their lives, so I’m not going to ask them to use their very limited funds to vacation with the siblings and parents.

 

[TreeFalls]

At that age, my parents would pay for most but not all- they would say something like "You pay for the park ticket, we'll pay flight and lodging." I usually paid a much smaller portion, I think they were just trying to show that I was an adult and should invest in my own vacation.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Ok, so I have a daughter who will be 19 in sept and is moving out of our house to live with her boyfriend.....she plans to move our later this year. We are planning a disney trip for March 2010.....Does anyone here think I should pay for her to go on the trip with us (her boyfriend is not going) or should I make her pay for her trip? I have no clue

Since your DD feels comfortable taking on the responsibilities of adulthood I would not send mixed signals by offering to pay her way so early in her new life stage. Let a few years go by or a special occasion before "treating".
JMHO.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Do you want her to go, or do you feel like you are obligated to bring her?

Based on the answer to that question I would have 2 different answers.

 

[smiths02]

I'm not really understanding what moving in with her boyfriend has to do with it, honestly. Unless she has a severe disability, at 19 she is an adult whether she lives with you or not.

So the questions is about paying for an adult daughter. Would you pay for her if she lived with you?

 

[sponica]

Also A LOT can happen between now and September....especially where 18/19 year olds are involved.