Parents of son's friend invitied him on a Disney trip for spring break next year

[Floridaman999]

The OP isn't around any more.

Oh, I bet they are. It's just not with this particular name anymore.

 

[Puffy2]

Interesting original question. The real point is that the offer of the trip isn't about the dad - it's about the family wanting their son to have a good time at Disney and they were willing to foot the bill to bring along one of their son's best friends in order to ensure that. Let them. Send son off with some cash for his pocket for a treat or two to buy on his own. Ensure he knows his manners to say please and thank you and not be irresponsible. The hosting parents aren't giving "the feelings of dad" a second thought - it never occurred to them that this "would make him feel bad" or that "he owed them anything".
It's about his son and his best friend and the chance to let it all go for a few days and enjoy life. Something he probably needs after loosing his mom.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

Seven months later, I'm reading this thread for the first time as a new user on this board...

Obviously, the OP stopped checking back in here. But I really hope he let his son go on the trip.

When I was his son's age, I would have given anything to have had another dude around my same age who wanted to spend time with me...the fact that the family of OP's son's buddy was offering to take him on a trip to a Disney Park was just icing on the cake.

Given how the family was already dealing with the horrible circumstances of losing their mother...I would have given his son permission to go.

I also noticed the OP never addressed people's inquiries as to whether OP had bothered to talk with his son's friend's parents DIRECTLY and AT LENGTH about their offer. Wouldn't that be the first logical step, regardless of what his final decision (as the parent) ending up being?

 

[Skellingtonj]

Seven months later, I'm reading this thread for the first time as a new user on this board...

Obviously, the OP stopped checking back in here. But I really hope he let his son go on the trip.

When I was his son's age, I would have given anything to have had another dude around my same age who wanted to spend time with me...the fact that the family of OP's son's buddy was offering to take him on a trip to a Disney Park was just icing on the cake.

Given how the family was already dealing with the horrible circumstances of losing their mother...I would have given his son permission to go.

I also noticed the OP never addressed people's inquiries as to whether OP had bothered to talk with his son's friend's parents DIRECTLY and AT LENGTH about their offer. Wouldn't that be the first logical step, regardless of what his final decision (as the parent) ending up being?

Pffft. Logic?? There is no time for such things around here.

I bet a dollar the kid didn’t go because of the dads hang ups about taking things that he can’t pay for.

 

[Nancyg56]

Seven months later, I'm reading this thread for the first time as a new user on this board...

Obviously, the OP stopped checking back in here. But I really hope he let his son go on the trip.

When I was his son's age, I would have given anything to have had another dude around my same age who wanted to spend time with me...the fact that the family of OP's son's buddy was offering to take him on a trip to a Disney Park was just icing on the cake.

Given how the family was already dealing with the horrible circumstances of losing their mother...I would have given his son permission to go.

I also noticed the OP never addressed people's inquiries as to whether OP had bothered to talk with his son's friend's parents DIRECTLY and AT LENGTH about their offer. Wouldn't that be the first logical step, regardless of what his final decision (as the parent) ending up being?

Yes, it was the first logical step but the thought processes of the Dad were not logical IMO. That man was still reeling from teh loss of his wife, and IMO he couldnto get past that and his own emotions to know that his children were suffering a tragedy that was magnified because as they lost their Mom, Dad stopped coping with their emotional needs.

I honestly do nto think this was a thread about allowing a child to join a friend on a much needed vacation, but more of a man trying to navigate the losses in bios own life. Sad. The children in that family needed a respite from his own sadness.

OT, but kind of the same thing. In my job I am a payroll specialist employed by a CPA. We took a employer who was drowning in his father's business. His dad is suffering from dementia, so you can imagine what he wound up carrying, and add the inept accountant who never filed trust taxes as he was paid to do, on and on. My client has two kids and is in the process of divorce, His wife left him over this entire fiasco he inherited. If anyone has a reason to crawl into a hole and roll into a ball, it is this man. Nope. He has done eeryhing we ask him to do as we work woth the Fed and State agencies to get and keep him current, finds a way to keep his Dad believing the business is fine, has assumed all his MOther's responsibilities so she is not affected by this mess, has shared his new found oversight knowledge with his Ex so she will not make the mistakes that he is paying for, but through all of this, his kids are his priority. He knows the situation he inherited is theirs as well in that their lives are not what he and they hoped for, so he compensates in other ways, and he does not use his pain to punish them.

We strive to help when people come to us in a mess, but my employer has not charged this man one cent, a "problem" that the guy was worried about. I told him what everyone in this thread told the OP. Stop worrying about paying us for now. Let's take care of the immediate issues, figure out the long term plan, and then the time will come to pay us. My employer will not eb able to charge him for all of the amended returns, the bookkeeping that went back years to correct, or the multitude of calls that our EA and I had and will continue to have with the IRS, or my time, but he will give him a bill tha he can handle. SOmeone helped him, so he pays it forward when he can. This client accepted our help and I so wish the OP had accepted the help from that kind family. He could be a link in tha long chain of paying forward to keep kindness moving on.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

Pffft. Logic?? There is no time for such things around here.

I bet a dollar the kid didn’t go because of the dads hang ups about taking things that he can’t pay for.

Sadly, I fear that you are correct.

 

[Floridaman999]

I don't think any of it was even real.

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't think any of it was even real.

I do, and that makes me sad.

 

[Floridaman999]

I do, and that makes me sad.

I would imagine that's what motivated the OP. I'm sure he/she considers it all a success either way.

 

[Kitty 34]

I just checked in on this thread thinking the trip had been taken and the OP was updating the experience.

 

[aprilgail]

I just checked in on this thread thinking the trip had been taken and the OP was updating the experience.

Yea I was doing that for awhile too but they stopped responding a long long time ago-
Funny thing I was thinking of this thread the other day when my daughters boyfriends parents invited her to go to Italy, Portugal and France with them for 2 weeks. There is no way I could ever afford that trip for us so I am happy as heck she will have a chance to experience that!