Parents of son's friend invitied him on a Disney trip for spring break next year

[handinpocket]

people, people sigh... so many of you sharing your personal stories and trying to be nice... its just utterly pointless at this stage.
the OP @Dadof3inNH last replied on 1 September and was last online and reading posts on 7 September.

Its obvious at this stage that the OP is not interested in everyones stories of similar circumstances and cant be bothered even replying and thanking everyone for trying to help.

Why does the OP have to come back and reply and thank everyone......because YOU said so.....maybe he was tired of being called a troll.

 

[Disneyslowrunner]

O

 

[Marchand63]

Why does the OP have to come back and reply and thank everyone......because YOU said so.....maybe he was tired of being called a troll.

He’s not a troll is a double poster with the new identity and we all know who is

 

[Carrie in AZ]

Are your kids receiving survivor benefits?
https://www.investopedia.com/personal-finance/social-security-survivor-benefits-work/

Good point. My husband benefited from this when his Dad passed away.

 

[motherof5]

When I was a young girl, my aunt and uncle would take me on vacation with them to be a companion to my cousin, an only child. These were long road trips - almost three weeks. My aunt and uncle paid for everything. My parents gave me a little spending money for souvenirs. We had such fun and I am eternally grateful to them for including me. My cousin and I often reminisce about those trips.

My son is an only child and when he was little, we would take a friend or cousin on vacation with us to keep him company. We also paid for everything and only asked for a little spending money for the child. It was our pleasure to do it. It was a win/win situation.

Now, I am a senior citizen and widowed. I am about to take a friend on a cruise for the third time. We have big fun together and she cannot afford trips like this. The first time I offered the cruise to her, I told her that we are giving a gift to each other. I am gifting her the trip and she is giving me the gift of her friendship and companionship. Again, a win/win. I am happy to do it. I don’t expect any payback.

I hope the OP lets his son take the trip. Hopefully, he can pay it forward when he is an adult and the memories will last a lifetime.

How nice of you. Enjoy each trip.

 

[Huff]

For more than a decade my wife and I have been taking a few kids to Disneyland or Disney World. We have no kids of our own. These kids have no active parents in their lives and stay with their various relatives or family friends who cannot afford such trips. When we bring one of them we always allow them to invite a friend so they'll have more fun. All the adults involved thank us for doing this. There is no guilt to be felt. All has been great!

 

[antmaril]

How nice of you. Enjoy each trip.

Thank you!

 

[I-man]

When DS was younger we took him and a friend to Universal. We never expected anything from DS' friend's parents. DS is an only child, so we were just grateful to give him company his own age for a change. Try and think of that as reciprocity. They aren't offering to help you, and I think that's the part you''re having trouble. with. This isn't charity, and I think it would do your boy the world of good.

This is actually our thought process too. Our son‘s best friend goes with us many places, including our camp on weekends, and we are considering offering taking him on a vacation with us. DS is an only child and 10 years old so he deserves to have some company on these trips that’s all adults when siblings usually would come into play. His family is not able to reciprocate in the same manner but they do things like watch our son if we have an emergency and honestly that’s not what it’s about anyways. we love their kid and are always happy to have him with our son who really loves him very much and calls him a brother.

 

[I-man]

They might have secretly felt bad and I don't like being beholden to other people. It's bad enough when I had to take help from assistant offices and my church when my wife was dying. I don't think you have ever been in the situation in which you have to take shamefully take help from other people.

I keep seeing you saying what you don’t like ie owing people. Please don’t take this the wrong way because I can’t even imagine how tough this is for you, but sometimes we have to do things for the good of our kids which may be difficult for us. I would consider this one of those times. If you have no concerns regarding your child’s safety and don’t think the family is going to expect something in return for them doing this, I think you should let him go. And I honestly think he will be so appreciative to you For doing this for him. Please know when I am saying this I am not downplaying the difficulty you feel about it.

 

[suemom2kay]

Hello everyone, I'm new here. I'm a single father of three kids and my middle child who is 13 got invited on a trip with friends. I'm undecided on whether to let him go as I don't want to accept such an extravagant gift from non-relatives that we can't pay back in any equal way. My wife passed away two years ago and it's been hard and I don't like taking help all the time unless for necessities. This past year I've done well financially as I've had a raise and a promotion. But, I can't afford to take my kids on trips and when my wife was alive we couldn't afford it as she was disabled due to a stroke that she suffered after our youngest was born. Growing up myself my family never did any trips and the first time I ever rode in plane was when I was 35 and that was the only time since then.

I've looked at Disney hotel sites and various blogs and see that Disney parks are very expensive and I'm now hesitant to allow my son to go. Like I said before, we can't pay this family back in any way. I feel like a failure that I can't give my kids extra. I'm looking for any advice on how I can pay the family back in some way or if my son can work for the trip. But, I also might not allow my son to go because it's too expensive for another family to pay for him. I'm very torn on this.

Sorry, I'm a little late in my answer. We have an only child. We ALWAYS invite a friend (since she was about 11). I don't ask for the child who is going for any money. The way I look at it I am borrowing your child to help make my child's vacation better. If I had 2 kids, I would be paying for both of them to go. I would let your son go and let him have a great time. I'm so sorry for your wife's struggles after child birth and for your loss.

 

[hammie59]

My son and I can't pay back the family with somethin of equal value.

You don’t always have to pay people back equal, and vice versa. That’s something that’s taken me years to realize myself. People like to help people, there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m very sorry for your loss. From reading your posts, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind. You’re shooting down all the posts telling you not feel bad and to let him go. Of course, if you tell him no, that doesn't make you a bad parent. You have to go with your gut. But I also feel like kids who lose their parents deserve any extra pixie dust a friend or relative is willing to give

 

[wilbret]

Interesting thread, with an unfortunate outcome. Not sure how a friend offering to take a friend deserves any more guilt than if a grandparent, uncle, cousin or whatever made the same offer?
Sometimes people like to do nice things. Sometimes, having a friend along makes the trip more enjoyable for the kid AND the parents. We have 3 kids, and quite often take our neighbor with us to places we go, like Six Flags, Legoland, Zoo, etc... I never thought about it as charity, but more as being neighborly and our kids like him. When I was a kid, I used to go to my buddy's lake house all the time with his family. He had no siblings, and it frankly made it easier on the parents to have a playmate along for the trip.

 

[mousefan73]

Dadof3inNH - please read this - it is the same subject of not accepting charity, but seen through a child’s eyes.

We grew up poor like many other kids did and still do. One Christmas must have been very difficult for my parents. It was the worst on earth for me at age 8. My sister was 11, and my brother was 15.

It was Christmas Eve. A few men knocked on our door. My Mom and Dad answered the door knock together. The men were from a club (I believe the local Lions Club) which helped people. They had brought gifts - lots of them - for the kids in the home. The kids were us! Wow - real gifts for us!
Mom and Dad told the men that they did not accept charity from anyone. They refused the gifts. They would not allow them to leave any gifts for the kids. None. We were extremely disappointed that the gifts for us were sent away. I can still hear my parents saying “We don’t accept charity from anyone”.
As an adult, I do understand why they felt humiliated. But as a child, we saw two parents who hated us because they did not want to see us be happy.
On Christmas morning we opened our gifts from Santa. I got a pair of red rubber rain boots. My sister got a sweater. My brother got a chemistry set. I resented my parents for refusing gifts which were meant for us.

Every Christmas since age 8, I have remembered the men with gifts. I remember how they were turned away because our parents were “too proud” to accept charity. I wonder each year what the wonderfully wrapped presents had contained. How do you tell an 8 year old to be thankful for red rubber boots on Christmas?

I am 72 years old now. I support groups who make Christmas wonderful for kids. I applaud the kindness of a giver. Please don’t be too proud to take help on Christmas, or birthdays, or any other special days, if needed. Be thankful for the givers and workers who cared about your child. Let your child be a kid!

Thanks for reading this! I’m sorry it was so long!

Just now saw this thread and your post choked me up.. wish I could go back in time and sneak you a Christmas present.

 

[chainkid]

I have been poor and I have had money that I earned from a lot of hard work. I think you have to put your child's interest above your own pride. There is a joy in giving that is a much greater gift than the outlay of money to take another child . Your child has earned a special place in his friend's heart and his parents want to give their child the best possible trip. I always treat family and friends to Disney trips when they are able to come and the joy is all mine from seeing the pleasure it gives them. My son being an only child would not have enjoyed his trips without his best friend. His best friends parents weren't poor either but it was always my treat . Being poor is a temporary state that any of us can be in but if we put our kids first, they will never feel poor. Your circumstances can change in time but your love for your children will be the one thing they can count on . Put your pride in your back pocket and let your child have the time of his life. You can pay it forward when you are better able as I have.

 

[dreamin_disney]

I would feel like you too, however maybe your son going would really make their son happy. The parents probably can afford it and are ok with paying since it will make their child happy and a friend.

If you do allow your son to go ask what the cost if any will be. If they are diving it all send your son with money for spending and souvenirs. You can also hand the parents $100-$200 for dinner or snacks‍

 

[dreamin_disney]

It's not possible for us to save for a trip. I'm trying to put money aside for college or trade school for my kids. My oldest is 16 and plans to join the Air Force or another military branch(if the AF doesn't take her). I'm focusing more on saving for my 13 year old and my 9 year old. We're in New Hampshire and it's difficult to drive to places like Florida or California. Traveling will never really be a possibility for my family and I hate that my family never had a vacation when my wife was alive. It tears me up when I see pictures of families on trips and I admit I get very envious because my wife never had those experiences and my kids won't either.

I lost my mom when I was 25. She felt bad that she didn’t have anything to leave us because she was poor and she didn’t have anything nice worth giving.
It broke my heart to hear her say that or to feel that way. I told her she did give us something special and valueable, something that all the money in the world couldn’t buy. She looked at me confused and say what? I told her she was always there for us and gave us all her love. She had tears in her eyes and we hugged. At that point she was already on hospice.

I remember our drives, family time, hanging out , eating at family dinners. You gave your wife love and three greatest priceless gift, your children. Keep loving your kids and do lil fun things, those are the things they will carry in their hearts

 

[L&Lfan]

Awwwwwwwwww....

 

[Birdie dog]

When my daughter was young (and lived at home) we took a trip every year. Whether it was WDW, DCL (including concierge level) or another trip, I always let her invite a friend. Believe me when I say I didn't expect to be paid back and it was worth it to me not to deal with a bored and pouting teen. If they are aware that you can't pay for the trip and still would like him to join them, I say let him go. The parents probably like your son and want their child to have a more enjoyable experience by having someone his age with him.

 

[cayennews]

After reading a fair amount of this thread I am curious as to what was decided. Will you be letting your son go on the vacation?

 

[Allison]

After reading a fair amount of this thread I am curious as to what was decided. Will you be letting your son go on the vacation?

The OP isn't around any more.