How many kids do you have?

[KristyBDJ]

Unfortunately, my mother has cancer right now. My brother is useless, my sister lives a few thousand miles away. It all fell to me regardless.

I'm really sorry to hear about your mother I know what you're saying and I agree that you are not destined to get along. I just know that I spent my whole life being lonely and even now with my own kids I feel like I just don't get the dynamics between them having never had any siblings myself. it's still lonely as an adult and it's a little hard that my kids have no aunts, uncles, cousins etc. from my side. I don't know... I'm just always curious about people's opinions on this I guess. And I'm always interested in the paren't perspective, my parent's never wanted any kids so there ya' go! Although I must admit, having 4 kids now, there are many a day when I miss only having one Then again, most of those days, I miss when I didn't have any!!

 

[dvcbnd]

We have 3 - ds14, dd9 and ds7 - and we wouldn't change a thing!

 

[GoinToDisney]

We have a daughter who will be 5 in June and baby #2 is on it's way. Then we are done. Somehow, my opinion changed can't imagine having more than 2.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I'm really sorry to hear about your mother I know what you're saying and I agree that you are not destined to get along. I just know that I spent my whole life being lonely and even now with my own kids I feel like I just don't get the dynamics between them having never had any siblings myself. it's still lonely as an adult and it's a little hard that my kids have no aunts, uncles, cousins etc. from my side. I don't know... I'm just always curious about people's opinions on this I guess. And I'm always interested in the paren't perspective, my parent's never wanted any kids so there ya' go! Although I must admit, having 4 kids now, there are many a day when I miss only having one Then again, most of those days, I miss when I didn't have any!!

I am an only and the mother of an only, and we are both happy and well adjusted so far! My dh is the middle child of 3, his sisters are barely involved in our life, and these three people have absolutely nothing in common other than a very poor example of a father and a decent mother. One sil (his godmother) remembers ds and does things for him occasionally. The other ignores him (I'm not sure if it's because he's a boy or he's my son), but she blatantly favors her sister's daughters -- like buying them stuff in front of him and giving him nothing. Siblings can be a curse as well as a blessing with regards to being Aunts and Uncles. You just don't know what you're going to get, so you should do what's right for you. I don't believe in having more children just to "have" a sibling, it should be because each child is wanted and cherished individually. Ok, getting off my soapbox now, too!

 

[brandylouwho]

We did officially move to the "family" vehicles Currently a minivan but we're looking at the Mazda 5 wagon. At least it looks a little less frumpy

Just had to add that we are really happy with our Mazda 5 (which we bought because my hubby just can't bring himself to buy/drive a real minivan and I didn't want another SUV). A fellow disser actually suggested it to us. But I do think it will be a tight fit when the kids are older. For now it is good (we have a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old).


As for how many kids we have...We have 2 kids and that's all we will be having. Hubby always wanted one, I thought 3 would be nice (I have 2 siblings). We settled on 2 and couldn't be happier. Both are girls...and a lot of people seem to think we might want to try one more time for a boy? I am a bit blunt and tell people, "No can do. All the males in our house have been fixed. The cat, the dog & the husband"

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

Just one. Chaeli is almost 19 months. She is and will always be an only child. DH was already snipped. Been though enough infertility issues and medical issues for the rest of my life, BUT she is worth everything!

 

[aleshad01]

We have two and plan to start trying for #3 soon.

 

[AmyBWV99]

Currently 2 boys. Will attempt to have a 3rd. I hate the 'I bet you want to try for a girl', I want to say no we're trying for a puppy and it hasn't worked out yet......healthy what more could you ask for??

 

[mrsmiller]

and they are getting close to be teenagers

I really wanted more children but that choice was taken away from me by the doctor when he tied my tubes , without my consent (or my husband's) but I know he did it to "save" my life as I have medical issues, I was just not prepared and sometimes i cry about it as I wanted more...

Linnette

 

[wvdislover]

To all the parents who have chosen to have just one child, I totally understand that, but have a suggestion to make. I am married to an only child, and we have 2 DD's 7 and 11. My DH just doesn't understand sibling relationships, such as how my girls can be mortal enemies one minute, and then best friends the next. He has a lot of issues dealing with them yelling at each other, arguing with each other, etc (part of this also stems from having parents who NEVER had a disagreement...one of them would just always compromise and give in to the other). My suggestion to you would be to expose your child to the relationships of other families, so if they decide to have larger families, things won't be so shocking, as they are to my DH It has really caused some difficult moments in our family life.

 

[tbandemommy]

We have DS11, DS10 and DD4. The DS's are 20 months apart. I heard regularly from DMIL that "you sure didn't wait long." Although busy when they were small, I wouldn't have done it any other way. DD was "supposed" to be a boy as there are all boys for 3 generations back on DH's side of the family. Needless to say it was a wonderful surprise when DD made her debut!

I think 3 kids is an average size family. I am glad that my kids have siblings. I do know a number of people who have only one (ex. 3 out of 4 in DS11's carpool are only children.) My mother is an only child and is alone now. As my grandparents aged, she was the only one left to deal with things for them. She has friends and has a social life but she has no siblings to rely on. She does have us, her 3 kids, but we all live at least 2-4 hrs. away, so it is hard for her sometimes.

 

[mom2aredhead]

To all the parents who have chosen to have just one child, I totally understand that, but have a suggestion to make. I am married to an only child, and we have 2 DD's 7 and 11. My DH just doesn't understand sibling relationships, such as how my girls can be mortal enemies one minute, and then best friends the next. He has a lot of issues dealing with them yelling at each other, arguing with each other, etc (part of this also stems from having parents who NEVER had a disagreement...one of them would just always compromise and give in to the other). My suggestion to you would be to expose your child to the relationships of other families, so if they decide to have larger families, things won't be so shocking, as they are to my DH It has really caused some difficult moments in our family life.

My husband is pretty close with his siblings, so we go and visit their families often, and there are lots of kids. He spends plenty of time with his cousins, playing on sports teams, and we have lots of playdates with friends that are not only children, so he is around other kids and other families quite a bit. It's good advice though, and something I'll definitely keep in mind going forward.

My mother is an only child and is alone now. As my grandparents aged, she was the only one left to deal with things for them. She has friends and has a social life but she has no siblings to rely on. She does have us, her 3 kids, but we all live at least 2-4 hrs. away, so it is hard for her sometimes.

And I am fortunate to have a great circle of friends that have become a support system for me helping me deal with my mother's illness and my father's sunny disposition. My mother gave birth to 3 of us, but they're nowhere to be found unless its a holiday that they can come visit and collect gifts for their kids. Having a sibling unfortunately doesn't guarantee you'll have anyone to rely on.

 

[SCADC]

Not to be nosy, but did you do foster care or an adoption agency? We would love to adopt, but can't get over the sticker shock!

Have you considered international adoption? In Ukraine, the adoptive parents have to do all of the footwork & appointments, so it can be done independently. We are in the process of this and are using an adoption advisor and it is saving us $10,000 as compared to using an agency.

 

[DISNEYNV]

No offense taken....
It's actually my experience as the oldest of 3 children, the dynamic that existed in my house, and my belief that we are not destined to be close friends just because my mother gave birth to all of us that led me to the conclusion that having an only child was the right choice for me.

You know what they say about the grass always being grenner...

I agree. We had DS after DD was 31/2 and she still can't stand her brother or sharing the limelight 90 percent of the time! I am upset about her reactions and comments and have even blamed not having a second one earlier, but DD was and still is a higher maintenance kid so one, two or three more kids would not be in her favor. I don't see them being close at all, but then again hopefully they will surprise us later on!

Be happy with one or ten! If the decision is yours don't worry about what others say or think. They are not the ones that have to deal with the decision...it's YOUR family and YOUR decision ( not to mention your sanity )

 

[letsgoagainsoon]

Three here and luckily, only had to be pregnant twice!!

 

[Colleen27]

mom2aredhead:
I'm just curious..have you talked to many only children about their experiences? I only ask because I am an only child myself and I admit to making comments myself. I don't think there is anything "wrong" w/ it and although I will admit to being spoiled I didn't grow up anti-social. I just know that for me ...I hated being an only child, I still do and when I look to the future...my parents needing assistance, etc. I will still hate it b/c as always...it will all fall on me. Ok ok, I'll get off my soapbox now...
Please don't take offense, I'm only stating my personal opinion from my own experiences.

Having more than one child doesn't necessarily prevent that, though. My mom isn't an only but my aunt lives 800+ miles away and seldom travels, so for all practical purposes my mom was on her own when my grandparents needed care. Thankfully, I was an adult by the time my grandmother needed major assistance, so I was able to help out as well. My paternal grandparents have 3 children, but none stayed in Michigan so they weren't around to help when my grandfather stopped driving or my grandmother fell ill. My mom and I were the ones helping them until my grandmother died and my grandfather moved to Mass. to live with my aunt. So I don't think I'd factor that into my decisions about whether to stop after one child.

 

[sahm1000]

we also have three, DS 9, DS 4, DS 2. I never get any comments about having a big family, but I ALWAYS get asked "so are you going to try for that girl" the answer to that would be " we are happy with our 3 princes"

I have been blessed to have the opposite of you. I have three girls ages 5, 3, and 9 months (the 5 and 3 year olds are about to turn 4 and 6). I hate it when people ask me if we are going to try for a boy. And when I was pregnant with the third we did not find out what we were having and people would tell me "I hope it's a boy". Makes me furious!


And if were to ask me if we are done, my answer would be I"m not sure yet! I truly feel like I have one more baby in me! And I could care less if it were a boy or a girl. Although I do kind of think I have the whole girl thing down now! My DH, on the other hand, says he's done but knows how badly I want one more. So I guess we'll see who will win! Not that I would trick him, but I think I can get him to come around. As our baby has grown out of clothes and toys I keep asking my DH if I should sell or donate things and he says he's not ready for that yet. I think there is still hope! And if I don't end up having one more, I know how blessed I am with my three princesses!

 

[AngelBabyJana]

We have 3 kids, Amanda 16, Mikayla 10, & Jonathan 5. To me that is a normal size family, but we still get the comments "Do you know what causes that? Now that you finally got your boy are you going to stop? Why would you want them spaced so far apart like that?" As another poster said I think people are just going to talk, no matter how many you have. The worst of it is always from relatives. Most of our friends have more kids than we do.

My nephew 23 also lives with us (has since he was little so he is like our son), people usually assume that he is my DH's son from a previous marriage (they do look a lot alike). When we eat out, we have a table of 6, I guess that looks like a lot to most people. It feels normal to us though. I would love to have another one - DH says that he doesn't want anymore though - so we will see who wins, lol. I am 35, DH is 50 ...... so I understand where he is coming from. He wanted to stop with just our girls, but Jonathan was a "surprise" (a very good one I might add) - couldn't imagine our life without any of them!

 

[PebblesMom]

We have one right now! DS is 17 months old and I am ready to have another one. It took a long time for DH and I to get pregnant, and then the pregnancy was pretty bummpy! I would love to have several more, but I will feel blessed to have one or two!!!!

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree. We had DS after DD was 31/2 and she still can't stand her brother or sharing the limelight 90 percent of the time! I am upset about her reactions and comments and have even blamed not having a second one earlier, but DD was and still is a higher maintenance kid so one, two or three more kids would not be in her favor. I don't see them being close at all, but then again hopefully they will surprise us later on!

Be happy with one or ten! If the decision is yours don't worry about what others say or think. They are not the ones that have to deal with the decision...it's YOUR family and YOUR decision ( not to mention your sanity )

I don't know if it's because our kids are close in age, but most of them are best buddies - it's actually kind of weird. Granted, my oldest gets annoyed by her siblings, but has only acted like this since hitting puberty. I don't remember my sister and I getting along (3 years apart), but even though we live several states away, I can't imagine not having her, especially now that our parents are getting older, and having issues.