Don't lknow what to do about my husbands family....vent long!

[BlondeAlligator]

We chose not to be in it, and now we've moved on.

I have tried to stay out of this since I wished you well on my last post and you bit my head off, but...

if the above is true, why were you on the DIS venting about it in the first place????

 

[imthatgirl]

I have tried to stay out of this since I wished you well on my last post and you bit my head off, but...

if the above is true, why were you on the DIS venting about it in the first place????

Like I've already said I made the post because I had a 14yo just leave my house in tears. The wedding stuff I really didn't put in the OP, because I have moved on.

 

[BlondeAlligator]

Now we have his baby sister in tears...his older sister mad at us(oh yeah forgot to mention we told 2 of his sisters who are both getting married this year we couldn't be in their weddings since we didn't have the money to spend on 2 weddings in one year).

The above is from your first post...you made equal mention of both the younger and older sisters' upsets in your vent.

 

[imthatgirl]

The above is from your first post...you made equal mention of both the younger and older sisters' upsets in your vent.

The post was about his 14yo sister...which was why the other is in parenthesis....it was as important to the story.
Any other problem you would like me to clear up for you?

 

[BlondeAlligator]

The post was about his 14yo sister...which was why the other is in parenthesis....it was as important to the story.
Any other problem you would like me to clear up for you?

Nope.

 

[imthatgirl]

Nope.

awesome

 

[cwasil]

Nice condescending tone there....if you really don't care what people think and are just negative towards folks then what was the purpose of the initial post. You've been nothing but be defensive the whole time. Blonde didn't do or say anything remotely negative, she just pointed out how she thought it could be construed by your in-laws. You're walking a fine line now where you could be thought of as a troll by some.

Your the one that said you were going on a vacation instead of going to be in an in-laws wedding...then we all found out although you were going to the wedding you'd be leaving early in order to catch a plane to go on vacation...and when some of us say, as politely as we can, that there could be a negative perception you just start belittling you're own in-laws basically saying that they don't deserve you time or money. If their such jerks, as you make them out to be, then quit bringing them to WDW. Do what you want...you asked...we answered...and you said that we didn't understand and that we were wrong. GREAT! Don't ask our opinions if you don't care. Let the thread die....

 

[ajjollie23]

My husband comes from a large very close family. Which is great...most of the time.
But not now....we've decided to go to WDW without any of them for the first time. In past trips we've taken anyone who can and wants to come. Sometimes it's been as many as 8 extra people and other times we've just taken his baby sister(she's 14 now).
We are going to WDW in May...in just 18 days. We booked this trip a little over a week ago. So not much planning went into it and we decided to make this just a family vacation. we can't afford to take his baby sister and we didn't want to ask others, and really most people can't go on the drop of the hat like that.
Now we have his baby sister in tears...his older sister mad at us(oh yeah forgot to mention we told 2 of his sisters who are both getting married this year we couldn't be in their weddings since we didn't have the money to spend on 2 weddings in one year).

All because we chose to take a family vacation.....with just our family, you know the way most people vacation!

I have some similar probs with my in laws inviting themselves places it drives me absolutely nuts. And I hate to say it but my mother would have done the same thing. She would have gone crazy if we had a special trip planned and my in laws decided to just come. I am not sure that she would have backed out but she would have thrown a fit until I got it settled and my Inlaws were no longer coming. That is pretty rough though, I am really sorry, good luck hope it works out

 

[DisneyMomma81]

I assume you have both son(s) and daughter(s) well one day your DD will get married, if your DS has a DW at that time how would you feel if she acted as you are now?

 

[roobug]

I basically pay for it. I use my travel vouchers and air line points to get them all there, I put them up in my house, I get them each tickets and I usually do 2-3 meals for everyone to get together. they pay for whatever else they may want.

I o a lot for his family...but I hardly feel that I need to do everything they ask of me.
And yes, when you have to correct someone over and over on the things they say, it does mean they aren't comprehending what your telling them. thats actually the definition.

It seems telling to me that when you talk about this you talk about how YOU do all this for HIS family, I would assume that some of this money and points are actually both yours and your husbands? Wouldn't it be a case that your family and not YOU personally are helping pay for his family?

What the above tells me is that you are keeping tabs and that you are not willing to do things for his family unless you get the reward from it. If you are going to invite people to come on vacation with you then let them come and don't hold it over their heads. If family is getting married (yours or your DH's) and they want you to be a part of it you do that for family - if you can't afford the clothes then you see what else you can do to be involved.

 

[Orleanslady]

It's a free country. If you guys don't want to be a part of the wedding party and would like just to attend as guest, so be it! It is neither healthy nor wise to only take vacations with extended family. While vacations with extended family can be awesome, everyone needs some down time to be reminded of why they got married in the first place. Some people feel that they could be with extended family everyday and love it. No need to repent if you are not one of those people. I imagine you came to disboards because you needed support and help in making a decision to stop being a people pleaser. So sorry you didn't find more support.

The negative responses to your thread remind me of why we all need vacations in the first place.
I would not worry about what the extended family and disboard posters want. I would have a good talk with my husband and make sure we want the same thing, though.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Nice condescending tone there....if you really don't care what people think and are just negative towards folks then what was the purpose of the initial post. You've been nothing but be defensive the whole time. Blonde didn't do or say anything remotely negative, she just pointed out how she thought it could be construed by your in-laws. You're walking a fine line now where you could be thought of as a troll by some.

Your the one that said you were going on a vacation instead of going to be in an in-laws wedding...then we all found out although you were going to the wedding you'd be leaving early in order to catch a plane to go on vacation...and when some of us say, as politely as we can, that there could be a negative perception you just start belittling you're own in-laws basically saying that they don't deserve you time or money. If their such jerks, as you make them out to be, then quit bringing them to WDW. Do what you want...you asked...we answered...and you said that we didn't understand and that we were wrong. GREAT! Don't ask our opinions if you don't care. Let the thread die....[/QUOTE]

 

[imthatgirl]

then we all found out although you were going to the wedding you'd be leaving early in order to catch a plane to go on vacation.. .

huh?...whatever. None of that was said and of course when I defend myself I'm "defensive"...well yeah when you make stuff like this up people get defensive

 

[imthatgirl]

It's a free country. If you guys don't want to be a part of the wedding party and would like just to attend as guest, so be it! It is neither healthy nor wise to only take vacations with extended family. While vacations with extended family can be awesome, everyone needs some down time to be reminded of why they got married in the first place. Some people feel that they could be with extended family everyday and love it. No need to repent if you are not one of those people. I imagine you came to disboards because you needed support and help in making a decision to stop being a people pleaser. So sorry you didn't find more support.

The negative responses to your thread remind me of why we all need vacations in the first place.
I would not worry about what the extended family and disboard posters want. I would have a good talk with my husband and make sure we want the same thing, though.

Actually I found a lot of support. A couple of really cool dissers have contacted me through PMs. Even some of the people who didn't agree with me but could do so nicely without making things up helped me see things a little more clearly with my 14yo sil.
Thanks!

 

[imthatgirl]

ha ha...love all the people who say "let the thread die...yet post in. Thats hilarious!

 

[disykat]

huh?...whatever. None of that was said and of course when I defend myself I'm "defensive"...well yeah when you make stuff like this up people get defensive

I was wondering where the people got "leaving early" too. You certainly never said it.

 

[robinb]

I was wondering where the people got "leaving early" too. You certainly never said it.

No, but she has not denied it either. Perhaps this fancy schmancy wedding has an afternoon reception. In that case she will be able to leave the reception after it is finished and make it to her flight. An evening reception (cocktails at 6:00, dinner at 7:00, etc) will probably necessitate her leaving early to make her flight.

 

[Skywalker]

It's the other the sister thats getting married in Novemeber who can not see beyond her wants.

...Yeah, you are NOTHING like that, right?

 

[disneybound31]

Does your DH think it is okay not to be in the wedding party?

 

[turkeymama]

No, but she has not denied it either. Perhaps this fancy schmancy wedding has an afternoon reception. In that case she will be able to leave the reception after it is finished and make it to her flight. An evening reception (cocktails at 6:00, dinner at 7:00, etc) will probably necessitate her leaving early to make her flight.

No telling where it is in the thread now, but I thought I read OP say they would be there for the entire wedding and reception, and not leaving early.