Do you enjoy small talk with strangers, or do you try to avoid it at all costs?

[amberpi]

I'm happy to talk to the instacart guy while he brings in the groceries, or the person or at Starbucks while they make my drink. What I hate is people who want my attention to chat in line at WDW or whatever. I want to be engaged with my family, don't take my attention away from them. If we're doing a traditional transaction at Target, cool, but don't try to pull me away from family time. I'm pretty greedy TBH about that.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm happy to talk to the instacart guy while he brings in the groceries, or the person or at Starbucks while they make my drink. What I hate is people who want my attention to chat in line at WDW or whatever. I want to be engaged with my family, don't take my attention away from them. If we're doing a traditional transaction at Target, cool, but don't try to pull me away from family time. I'm pretty greedy TBH about that.

I'm honestly trying to picture what type of interaction you're talking about

 

[amberpi]

I'm honestly trying to picture what type of interaction you're talking about

Honestly, when I'm in line at WDW, for instance, I want to be talking to my husband or the kids, not chatting with some stranger and people will just not hesitate to try to chat your face off. When you start taking my attention away from my family, I smile, nod and then go back to my family. I try not to be ugly, again with smile and nod, but god bless, let us have our family time.

 

[OhDannyBoy]

Honestly, when I'm in line at WDW, for instance, I want to be talking to my husband or the kids, not chatting with some stranger and people will just not hesitate to try to chat your face off. When you start taking my attention away from my family, I smile, nod and then go back to my family. I try not to be ugly, again with smile and nod, but god bless, let us have our family time.

This is what I mean by knowing your audience and reading people.

I'll be chatty, but if I see your with your family or simply not interested, I'll leave you alone.

It's amazing how many people don't know how to practice this or are oblivious to when someone wants no part in a conversation.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Honestly, when I'm in line at WDW, for instance, I want to be talking to my husband or the kids, not chatting with some stranger and people will just not hesitate to try to chat your face off. When you start taking my attention away from my family, I smile, nod and then go back to my family. I try not to be ugly, again with smile and nod, but god bless, let us have our family time.

Oh I see.

Quite frankly I think there were times when my parents were glad for some adult interaction out and about in public rather than listen to me want this or want that or my sister and I antagonizing each other They still had a gazillion amount of family time lol.

FWIW, respectfully, I don't think that's what's on the majority of people's minds (meaning stealing you away from family time) if they interact with you. I think people just like to talk and are being nice and friendly.

But also FWIW I would likely see your body language was not up for any sort of interaction. Though I will fully admit "not wanting attention to be taken away from family" would not be something I would have thought would have been the reason for your body language to denote I shouldn't interact.

Thanks for explaining.

 

[mjkacmom]

Oh I see.

Quite frankly I think there were times when my parents were glad for some adult interaction out and about in public rather than listen to me want this or want that or my sister and I antagonizing each other They still had a gazillion amount of family time lol.

FWIW, respectfully, I don't think that's what's on the majority of people's minds (meaning stealing you away from family time) if they interact with you. I think people just like to talk and are being nice and friendly.

But also FWIW I would likely see your body language was not up for any sort of interaction. Though I will fully admit "not wanting attention to be taken away from family" would not be something I would have thought would have been the reason for your body language to denote I shouldn't interact.

Thanks for explaining.

I’ve been a SAHM for 22 years, there were many days I wanted to be distracted from my family!

 

[amberpi]

FWIW, respectfully, I don't think that's what's on the majority of people's minds (meaning stealing you away from family time) if they interact with you. I think people just like to talk and are being nice and friendly.

But also FWIW I would likely see your body language was not up for any sort of interaction. Though I will fully admit "not wanting attention to be taken away from family" would not be something I would have thought would have been the reason for your body language to denote I shouldn't interact.

Thanks for explaining.

I think the fact that my body language is open...I don't hate people...means that folks talk to me and DH a lot. DH is chatty too, so that's a thing; and people have NO issue asking inappropriate questions, like the nationality of the kids seems like a gross question to me.

In general, I just try to be as polite as possible without soliciting further engagement. I think that's fair. But I'm open to being told I'm wrong.

 

[amberpi]

I’ve been a SAHM for 22 years, there were many days I wanted to be distracted from my family!

We only have 50% custody, so family time is SO precious to us. It's just a matter of circumstance, as are most things.

 

[Domo]

I make it a point to talk to cleaners or till operators - the "invisible" people, as they're sometimes called. Often they're surprised that anyone acknowledges their existence at all... but they can be really nice people

 

[powellrj]

Utterly no interest in talking to strangers in person.

Extroverts are just attention seekers and I'm not there to keep their egos entertained.

This made me chuckle. It is so bad that my family has a name for it. I don’t seek strangers out to talk to, but strangers always seem to find me. When a stranger stops you and talks for more than a quick question, you have been mommed. Friends have been with me when this happens and they think it’s because I come across as non confrontational and a safe person to talk to.

People tell me I don’t come across as shy, but on the inside I am!

 

[luvsJack]

I think the fact that my body language is open...I don't hate people...means that folks talk to me and DH a lot. DH is chatty too, so that's a thing; and people have NO issue asking inappropriate questions, like the nationality of the kids seems like a gross question to me.

In general, I just try to be as polite as possible without soliciting further engagement. I think that's fair. But I'm open to being told I'm wrong.

I don't think you are wrong or rude at all from your description. If you don't want to make small talk, you shouldn't have to. Personally, I like meeting people from all over and finding out about their vacation, etc. But if they seem completely engaged with their family, I would never approach them or say anything to them.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I think the fact that my body language is open...I don't hate people...means that folks talk to me and DH a lot. DH is chatty too, so that's a thing; and people have NO issue asking inappropriate questions, like the nationality of the kids seems like a gross question to me.

In general, I just try to be as polite as possible without soliciting further engagement. I think that's fair. But I'm open to being told I'm wrong.

Well ok that was so not what I thought you were saying people were talking to you guys about. I don't think that type of question is along the lines of taking away family time so much as way too personal. But if someone asks "ok what ride did you go on that you got so soaked so I know to avoid it" I wouldn't think they were trying to take family time away. Or if they said "oh I love that shirt where did you get it" or if they said "have you been on this ride before?" etc.

We only have 50% custody, so family time is SO precious to us. It's just a matter of circumstance, as are most things.

My parents divorced when I was 6 and had split custody. Trust me they still got a gadzillon amount of family time and I still think they appreciated some adult conversations out and about at times. Family time was precious to them too. Like I said having the ability to converse with someone else not about Barbie dolls or Barney or "she started it" no "she started it" was nice for them I'm sure lol.

My husband's parents divorced when he was 6. Both parents remarried though only his mom had another child. My mother-in-law is very very protective of time with her kids (which has never gone away) she had split custody as well. She wouldn't view the situation as taking away family time having conversations with people.

I guess what I'm saying is I personally wouldn't use split, full, or whatever custody agreement or in the case of intact families as the rationale for not engaging in a few min conversation with someone while in a line. Family time was still in abundance before the divorce and was still in abundance even with a every other Tuesday as well as every other weekend starting on thursday night spent at my dads with every monday and wednesday as well as every other weekend starting on thursday night spent with my mom plus switching holidays every year (so one year Christmas eve with my mom and Christmas with my dad then next year Christmas eve with my dad and Christmas with my mom for example), etc after the divorce.

I do understand what you're saying and like I said I would respect that you don't appear to want to engage in a conversation. Just providing my perspective and experience.

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

A sentence or 2 is ok it’s when it starts to cross into more than that when I have to start hatching my escape plan.

 

[STLDisney_Freak]

I will talk to you if you talk to me frankly to be polite. I will not seek people out to have a conversation. I am quite happy in my own thoughts.

 

[Domo]

I guess I could be making people feel uncomfortable. The cleaning lady at my local surgery doesn't always look as if she wants to be disturbed... should I just leave her be?

 

[kaddjr]

Most of the time I don’t mind. A few weeks ago, while at WDW, I was sitting on a bus and struck up a conversation with a young boy. We talked about several things- our ages (he is 4), where we live, how he was missing his dog, etc. Then out of the blue, he says to me, “the next time I see you on the bus, I will get your phone number so I can call you and you can come to my house and sleep on my couch!” He is from Ireland!

 

[ronandannette]

I guess I could be making people feel uncomfortable. The cleaning lady at my local surgery doesn't always look as if she wants to be disturbed... should I just leave her be?

Well, yes. If she looks like she doesn't want to be disturbed, why would you disturb her? I presume you are there while she is on-shift working and since her job doesn't really involve contact with the public, she likely just wants to keep at it.

 

[Lynn CC]

Meh, I can hold my own. In addition to just everyday life-type interactions, I have to attend a lot of social events for business and there's no choice but to be poised talking talking with strangers and distant acquaintances. I certainly wouldn't miss it if I never did it again though.

I used to Dread business socials as well... it’s like everyone is thrown into a room, too forced & awkward for me. I love not having to dothat anymore. I did however find it very entertaining watching people get drunk & make fools of themselves while I was sipping my lime & sparkling water!

 

[Lynn CC]

I do like random small talk with strangers, so does my husband.
Makes life interesting!

 

[Domo]

Well, yes. If she looks like she doesn't want to be disturbed, why would you disturb her? I presume you are there while she is on-shift working and since her job doesn't really involve contact with the public, she likely just wants to keep at it.

Just to clarify, I didn't receive any signals suggesting she *might* be a bit shy until after I'd wished her a good evening