Can you have compassion for someone yet still hold them responsible?

[Kitty 34]

OP, maybe you should take your "debatable" concerns to a different type of forum. Maybe then you could get the replies that you would like to respond to.

 

[mnrose]

More reading more into my words then was said.

I didn't say people want or seek out ways to make people feel sorry for them.

If my house was destroyed by a hurricane, flood, or fire, I would welcome the attention in a time of need.

Why? Wouldn't that mean you've just not planned adequately? I mean why in the world would you live anywhere near where there would be a hurricane, flood or fire? Poor planning.

 

[siren0119]

Not gone the way I expected?

The votes are definitely opposite of what I would have expected.

At this point over 90% of people believe the same as I do yet seem to think they don't.

Very confusing.

I suspect that is due in LARGE portion to the fact that many answered the poll before reading your examples and realized that your poll question isn't really illustrating what you're trying to derive based on your examples.

 

[skyblue17]

I think if your thought process is "I feel bad for so and so, but they should have known this would happen!" it's not really compassion. You might be sympathetic to their struggles but thinking they brought them upon themselves, especially considering that in some of your examples it would be debatable if they did, is not compassionate.

 

[mnrose]

I never answered the poll. I don't even get the question. It's bizarre to me. And, I suspect I'm not alone in that. I'm on such a different planet than OP. Not even in the same universe.

 

[kdonnel]

Why? Wouldn't that mean you've just not planned adequately? I mean why in the world would you live anywhere near where there would be a hurricane, flood or fire? Poor planning.

I have planned for the potential destruction of my home, I have bought a homeowners policy. I also avoided purchasing a home in a 100 year flood plain. I have replaced my smoke detectors at 10 years old. I maintain the major mechanical systems in my home so they are in proper working order and less likely to spark a fire.

But as I have said, here are exceptions.

 

[kdonnel]

I suspect that is due in LARGE portion to the fact that many answered the poll before reading your examples and realized that your poll question isn't really illustrating what you're trying to derive based on your examples.

People really should read and understand before answering questions.

 

[skyblue17]

I suspect that is due in LARGE portion to the fact that many answered the poll before reading your examples and realized that your poll question isn't really illustrating what you're trying to derive based on your examples.

I honestly clicked on a vote before I realized I could see the results without doing so. Oops. Either way, I'm one of the minority votes.

If this thread continues as it's going, I wonder if we should be compassionate or...

 

[siren0119]

People really should read and understand before answering questions.

Funny because I was thinking that before one posts a poll one should make sure their intention is clear.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Funny because I was thinking that before one posts a poll one should make sure their intention is clear.

That would be the personally responsible thing to do.

 

[Calee]

I wouldn't take your poll results as any indication of if people actually agree with you.

I read your question and almost answered yes. If I had taken your question at face value that would have been my true and honest answer. A question should be honest and forthcoming, not a ploy to attempt to gain leverage.

However it is clear from your post (which is actually seperate from the poll) that I dont agree with you at all and your examples are ridiculous and so incredibly entitled.

 

[Christine]

I didn't answer your poll because I thought the scenarios were odd. But, in general, if someone makes what I deem to be reckless choices then I don't have any compassion for them when their reckless choices led them to some sort of downfall.

 

[Southernmiss]

I wouldn't take your poll results as any indication of if people actually agree with you.

I read your question and almost answered yes. If I had taken your question at face value that would have been my true and honest answer. A question should be honest and forthcoming, not a ploy to attempt to gain leverage.

However it is clear from your post (which is actually separate from the poll) that I dont agree with you at all and your examples are ridiculous and so incredibly entitled.

Yep. Thread was started as bait.

 

[mnrose]

I have planned for the potential destruction of my home, I have bought a homeowners policy. I also avoided purchasing a home in a 100 year flood plain. I have replaced my smoke detectors at 10 years old. I maintain the major mechanical systems in my home so they are in proper working order and less likely to spark a fire.

But as I have said, here are exceptions.

Oh, I get it. If it happens to you, it's an exception. If it happens to other people, they haven't planned properly. Believe me....that comes through loud and clear.

 

[skyblue17]

Oh, I get it. If it happens to you, it's an exception. If it happens to other people, they haven't planned properly. Believe me....that comes through loud and clear.

Also, if it turns out that the city you live in is now at risk for more serious and extended weather than it had been in the past, you should have planned to sell your home (to someone who isn't planning) and planned to save enough money to move somewhere else (that the people who are planning haven't found yet, thus jacking up the housing costs and cost of living).

 

[smokeyblue]

You seem to be reading an awful lot into a few words posted on the internet.

But it does seem that I value personal responsibility much higher then many on this message board.

I think people are taken aback by the lack of thoughtfulness and the amount of judgement. Your ideal of personal responsibility is based upon your own personal circumstances. There are people who are suffering the consequences of abuse or trauma, lack of education, series of tragedy or misfortunes and poverty. Why judge and say, well that's a lack of personal responsibility? Why not say, how can I help?

 

[underdesea]

That would be the personally responsible thing to do.

Ok, I just lol.

 

[underdesea]

I think people are taken aback by the lack of thoughtfulness and the amount of judgement. Your ideal of personal responsibility is based upon your own personal circumstances. There are people who are suffering the consequences of abuse or trauma, lack of education, series of tragedy or misfortunes and poverty. Why judge and say, well that's a lack of personal responsibility? Why not say, how can I help?

'Cause they should have known better. Duh.

 

[luvsJack]

More reading more into my words then was said.

I didn't say people want or seek out ways to make people feel sorry for them.

If my house was destroyed by a hurricane, flood, or fire, I would welcome the attention in a time of need.

“Feel sorry for” were your exact words. That is not reading more into anything. It’s reading your exact words.

No one wants attention either. Compassion. A hand up maybe. Not attention, not felt sorry for. Compassion.

 

[usnuzuloose]

There should be compassion for anyone no matter what they are going through.