Can you have compassion for someone yet still hold them responsible?

[Boardwalk Jedi]

kdonnel...stop, just stop. You are only making yourself look more sheltered, hypercritical, insensitive and (I'm starting to think) insecure and self-loathing. I remember you saying poor people should have no problem jumping through hoops just to vote simply because YOU don't see the problem. It's clear you have no ability to understand other people's circumstances. Hopefully you'll develop that skill one day.

 

[underdesea]

In my last job, I was working for a nonprofit that held classes on parenting and substance-abuse prevention at a Section 8 housing location. It was one of the most sobering things I've experienced. When I walked in, I saw girls I thought were the daughters of the participants in the class and then realized they were the moms. I remember thinking how very difficult it would be to pull yourself out of that situation. I suppose some could blame them for their circumstances because they were the ones who had babies at a young age. Without bothering to delve into why that happened.

 

[kdonnel]

Whoa. Looks like a nerve took a hit on the other thread.

No nerve.

Proper etiquette is to break discussion out into separate threads when it drifts off the initial topic.

 

[kdonnel]

kdonnel...stop, just stop. You are only making yourself look more sheltered, hypercritical, insensitive and (I'm starting to think) insecure and self-loathing. I remember you saying poor people should have no problem jumping through hoops just to vote simply because YOU don't see the problem. It's clear you have no ability to understand other people's circumstances. Hopefully you'll develop that skill one day.

You seem to be reading an awful lot into a few words posted on the internet.

But it does seem that I value personal responsibility much higher then many on this message board.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

You seem to be reading an awful lot into a few words posted on the internet.

But it does seem that I value personal responsibility much higher then many on this message board.

Uh-huh. I think you mean to say "I am far more 'personally responsible' than anyone in the world"

 

[underdesea]

No nerve.

Proper etiquette is to break discussion out into separate threads when it drifts off the initial topic.

Oh

No nerve.

Proper etiquette is to break discussion out into separate threads when it drifts off the initial topic.

Oh Ok. It didn't seem to me we were drifting, but if that's what works for you, I have no issue with it. It doesn't seem like most of the responses have gone the way you might have wanted in this thread either. But maybe I'm drifting again. Thanks for the etiquette lesson, though. I'm not schooled in proper message board posting. Now I know!

 

[kdonnel]

Oh


Oh Ok. It didn't seem to me we were drifting, but if that's what works for you, I have no issue with it. It doesn't seem like most of the responses have gone the way you might have wanted in this thread either. But maybe I'm drifting again. Thanks for the etiquette lesson, though. I'm not schooled in proper message board posting. Now I know!

Not gone the way I expected?

The votes are definitely opposite of what I would have expected.

At this point over 90% of people believe the same as I do yet seem to think they don't.

Very confusing.

 

[kdonnel]

Uh-huh. I think you mean to say "I am far more 'personally responsible' than anyone in the world"

Again reading an awful lot past what has been written.

 

[underdesea]

Uh-huh. I think you mean to say "I am far more 'personally responsible' than anyone in the world"

And "a few words"? It seems to me there have been quite a bit more posts on this subject than a few words, but then I apparently don't get message board metrics.

 

[Hikergirl]

Again reading an awful lot past what has been written.

How else are they going to "prove" they are morally superior to you. The have to read things into what you say and speak for you, that is just what those kinds of people do.

 

[LSUmiss]

That's called judgement, not compassion.

I was literally about to say the same thing. Then I saw it was said.

 

[underdesea]

Not gone the way I expected?

The votes are definitely opposite of what I would have expected.

At this point over 90% of people believe the same as I do yet seem to think they don't.

Very confusing.

Yes, your conclusion is very confusing. I'm completely lost as to what you're saying/claiming now. But I'm watching NFL wild card games at the same time so I'm probably distracted. Or I just don't care enough to figure it out. Or both.

 

[LSUmiss]

Of course. You can feel sorry for people that make poor choices. I know some of them.

That’s called sympathy not empathy. Empathy takes compassion.

 

[Hikergirl]

It would appear that many believe that having compassion for someone or their situation is mutually exclusive from also holding them somewhat responsible.

Here are some examples:

1. A worker who has no savings at all who is furloughed or let go.
2. Someone who lives beside a river known to flood who's home is destroyed in a flood.
3. Someone who comes down with lung cancer after working 30 years as a bartender.
4. A homeowner who needs a new roof but has no money set aside for the roof.
5. Someone who needs a new transmission but once again has no money set aside for repair.
6. Someone who's home is destroyed by a hurricane that lives 5 miles or less from the coast of Florida.
7. Someone who is living a lifestyle beyond their income.

I think that in these examples there is alot of "circumstance dependence"

 

[kdonnel]

Yes, your conclusion is very confusing. I'm completely lost as to what you're saying/claiming now. But I'm watching NFL wild card games at the same time so I'm probably distracted. Or I just don't care enough to figure it out. Or both.

I believe that people should be held somewhat responsible for their particular situation in life and that if you hold them accountable, you can still feel sorry for them, you can still feel a want to help them.

But it would appear that holding that view makes me a monster even though the vast majority agree with me.

Confusing.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

How else are they going to "prove" they are morally superior to you. The have to read things into what you say and speak for you, that is just what those kinds of people do.

"Those kinds of people"...hmmm

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Not gone the way I expected?

The votes are definitely opposite of what I would have expected.

At this point over 90% of people believe the same as I do yet seem to think they don't.

Very confusing.

Someone like me just didn't participate in the vote, because it was a silly question

 

[luvsJack]

I believe that people should be held somewhat responsible for their particular situation in life and that if you hold them accountable, you can still feel sorry for them, you can still feel a want to help them.

But it would appear that holding that view makes me a monster even though the vast majority agree with me.

Confusing.

Most people in this world do not want to be felt sorry for. There are of course exceptions but not many. But most would appreciate a little compassion in hard times.

 

[kdonnel]

Most people in this world do not want to be felt sorry for. There are of course exceptions but not many. But most would appreciate a little compassion in hard times.

More reading more into my words then was said.

I didn't say people want or seek out ways to make people feel sorry for them.

If my house was destroyed by a hurricane, flood, or fire, I would welcome the attention in a time of need.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Yes the morally superior kind that you obviously are
Aren't you a Jedi?

A jedi does not judge, she lets go of her fear, anger and hatred....the dark side are they