Boys in the Girls Bathroom?

[MBeds]

This is exactly what I meant earlier about the "in you face" posters. Why in the world would ANYONE think it was okay for a 10 year old boy to be next to a 5 year old girl in the girls bathroom??? This is NOT okay!!! I understand people here are concerned about their sons, but some of you have such blatant disregard for little girls!
Can someone please explain to me why (as the mindset here keeps pointing out) why is it not okay for a 10 y/o boy to stand next to a 15 y/o boy in the Mens room, but it is okay for a 10 y/o boy to stand next to a 5 y/o GIRL in the Ladies room? Why the double standard?? It is the same age difference? Are you saying that little girls don't matter, that they just have to "deal with it"??

First of all, the way alleycattapia would react is "in your face" and very inappropriate - Acting that way is WAY WAY out of line...puking and screaming at a family is ok with you?? You're just as bad as she is then...

Second of all, my son will be 7 this week...We are going to DW this week...If none of the adult men that we will be going with are around, he WILL go in the washroom with me...and if some crazy person starts puking and screaming at me - "security" will be called...How embarrassing for her kids to witness behavior like that...

As far as "standing" next to a 5 year old girl - my son isn't in there to "stand" next to anyone...No one said that boys go into the washroom to "stand" next to girls...
By the way girls do matter - i have a daughter myself...

 

[Southern4sure]

I agree with you there Just ask my poor son. I missed a spot on his ear while applying sunscreen yesterday and OUCH! He is so very sunburned today. Just in that one spot, but it is very, very bad. I could kick myself

I have started using the aerosol spray sunscreen. It covers completely and I love not having to wash my hands after applying the lotion. The only downside is the can doesn't last nearly as long as the lotion.

Back on topic to boys in the bathroom....

 

[gardendame]

First of all, the way alleycattapia would react is "in your face" and very inappropriate - Acting that way is WAY WAY out of line...puking and screaming at a family is ok with you?? You're just as bad as she is then...

Second of all, my son will be 7 this week...We are going to DW this week...If none of the adult men that we will be going with are around, he WILL go in the washroom with me...and if some crazy person starts puking and screaming at me - "security" will be called...How embarrassing for her kids to witness behavior like that...

As far as "standing" next to a 5 year old girl - my son isn't in there to "stand" next to anyone...No one said that boys go into the washroom to "stand" next to girls...
By the way girls do matter - i have a daughter myself...

I agree with someone earlier, saying this thread needs to be closed. Who said anything about it being inappropriate for a 7 year old???? No one here posted that. I think some of you are arguing just for the sake of arguing. As I stated earlier - sounds like some of y'all need a vacation. Go to WDW!!!

 

[cstraub]

This is exactly what I meant earlier about the "in you face" posters. Why in the world would ANYONE think it was okay for a 10 year old boy to be next to a 5 year old girl in the girls bathroom??? This is NOT okay!!! I understand people here are concerned about their sons, but some of you have such blatant disregard for little girls!
Can someone please explain to me why (as the mindset here keeps pointing out) why is it not okay for a 10 y/o boy to stand next to a 15 y/o boy in the Mens room, but it is okay for a 10 y/o boy to stand next to a 5 y/o GIRL in the Ladies room? Why the double standard?? It is the same age difference? Are you saying that little girls don't matter, that they just have to "deal with it"??

Your five year old should be in the stall with you. Five is way too young to leave outside the stall while you do your thing. Someone could be off with her in seconds and there you are with your pants around your ankles.

A boy who is fifteen would be more sexual by nature because that is around the time they go through puberty. Most ten year old boys will not go through puberty for years and for the most part think girls have "cooties".

Ten is still very innocent although you may not know that if you only have a five year old girl. I think until you are there you don't realize how young ten really is. Of course there will always be the exception. There are boys and girls who are more sexual from a young age either because of exposure or just by nature.

When I take my nine year old in with me he goes right into my stall. No chance of him interacting with anyone that way. He just faces the door.

I have a fourteen year old boy, a nine year old boy and a five year old girl. I feel I can relate to a wide spectrum of feelings on both sides.

Children should not be left alone with anyone we don't know even for a short period of time. Where I go my kids go or I don't "go"!

 

[Mariposa]

I did see a boy, probably about 9 or so, in a women's bathroom on my trip in May. The kid looked like he wanted to melt into the floor and there were two girls outside who refused to even go into the bathroom until he left (he was waiting for his mom).* So, there you have it, girls who feel too horrifically uncomfortable to use the restroom in a WOMEN's restroom because there's an inappropriately aged boy in there. I didn't say anything to the boy, I figured he was too embarassed already. Poor kids (all 3- the boy and the two girls, one of whom was pretty much doing the 'pee-pee dance' outside).

*This is how I know my daughter would be too mortified to go. I relayed the story to her (leaving out the part about the girls outside, 'cause I just wanted to see what she'd say and not influence her).. Well, as soon as I say, "there was a boy about your age in there.." her eyes got all huge and she announced that that was 'so gross' and she wouldn't go in there. So, I'm guessing the two girls weren't singular in their concern (I thought they were reacting pretty strongly, which is why I mentioned the whole thing to DD in the first place). These girls were probably 10 or 11, BTW.

 

[Mariposa]

When I take my nine year old in with me he goes right into my stall. No chance of him interacting with anyone that way. He just faces the door.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! That's my only request, if a boy needs to go into the bathroom with mom then I'd like him to go in the stall with her. I know it may be embarassing to the mom in question, but that's considerably more fair (IMHO) than embarassing every other child that enters or exits the restroom.

 

[gardendame]

Your five year old should be in the stall with you. Five is way too young to leave outside the stall while you do your thing. Someone could be off with her in seconds and there you are with your pants around your ankles.

A boy who is fifteen would be more sexual by nature because that is around the time they go through puberty. Most ten year old boys will not go through puberty for years and for the most part think girls have "cooties".

Ten is still very innocent although you may not know that if you only have a five year old girl. I think until you are there you don't realize how young ten really is. Of course there will always be the exception. There are boys and girls who are more sexual from a young age either because of exposure or just by nature.

When I take my nine year old in with me he goes right into my stall. No chance of him interacting with anyone that way. He just faces the door.

I have a fourteen year old boy, a nine year old boy and a five year old girl. I feel I can relate to a wide spectrum of feelings on both sides.

Children should not be left alone with anyone we don't know even for a short period of time. Where I go my kids go or I don't "go"!

I don't have a 5 y/o. I have 3 DSs (10, 14, and 21) and one DD (9). My analogy was to draw attention to some of the posters here, who obviously only have boys and cannot see things from their daughter's perspective.

For what it is worth, I just asked my 10 y/o son what he would think if, while we are at WDW this November, I make him come into the ladies room with me and his sister. His eyes got huge! Then he got serious and said "you are just kidding, huh Mom? That's gross!!"

I think this discussion has gone much further than was the OPs intent. I think we can all agree that safety is an issue, everywhere, and each family is dealing with their own circumstances. After having three boys, it is MY OPINION that 10 year old boys have no business in the ladies room.

 

[summerrluvv]

That's great that yours know not to peek, unfortunately children of both sexes still do it and it is the parents responsibilty to teach them otherwise. I do speak to the child directly when they are misbehaving, unfortunately, the parents are either unconcerned themselves or not paying attention.

I think it's rude to discipline other people's children. If you need to scold a child for peeking, you should address the parents, not the child.

Are you really exposing that much of yourself when using a public restroom? Do some of you take all of your clothes off to go to the bathroom? LOL Aren't you sitting on the toilet? What exactly is someone seeing?

 

[Mariposa]

I think it's rude to discipline other people's children. If you need to scold a child for peeking, you should address the parents, not the child.

Are you really exposing that much of yourself when using a public restroom? Do some of you take all of your clothes off to go to the bathroom? LOL Aren't you sitting on the toilet? What exactly is someone seeing?

I think the issue here is that it's a violation of privacy, not how much the child is seeing. I barely have anything uncovered in there, but if I have a kid peeking under my door I'm still going to be EXTREMELY annoyed.

 

[gardendame]

I think it's rude to discipline other people's children. If you need to scold a child for peeking, you should address the parents, not the child.

Are you really exposing that much of yourself when using a public restroom? Do some of you take all of your clothes off to go to the bathroom? LOL Aren't you sitting on the toilet? What exactly is someone seeing?

I don't care if I am covered from head to toe or stripped down to my birthday suit, eating a Mickey Bar, while doing my business, NO CHILD should be looking! If the parent is there and is not doing anything about it, then the person in the stall has every right to complain! This is a perfect example of the "in you face" mothers I was posting about! Those who do not discipline their children!

 

[Hannathy]

Sorry if you don't want me disciplining your child get to him before I do. If a child is doing something to bother me or mine or destroying property which does effect me 'cause I'll have to pay more in the future I will say something ie the child who was pulling plants out at the MK and the parents did nothing- I told her to stop it, she did parents still did not even know. or the child looking under the stalls in the bathroom.or the kid spitting in the spray fountains at DTD, all examples of when I said something and will again.

I can also think of a few times I would not want an 11 yr old boy to see into my stall ie changing shirts, "that time of the month" etc. And a 10 yr old may be innocent but they do know whats going on because most schools start sex ed type classes in fifth gr. and even the schools realize they are uncomfortable with the other sex at that age and split them up for the classes.

 

[mrsltg]

I think it's rude to discipline other people's children. If you need to scold a child for peeking, you should address the parents, not the child.

Are you really exposing that much of yourself when using a public restroom? Do some of you take all of your clothes off to go to the bathroom? LOL Aren't you sitting on the toilet? What exactly is someone seeing?

Have you ever used a tampon? I don't want anyone watching me while doing that.

 

[summerrluvv]

I don't care if I am covered from head to toe or stripped down to my birthday suit, eating a Mickey Bar, while doing my business, NO CHILD should be looking! If the parent is there and is not doing anything about it, then the person in the stall has every right to complain! This is a perfect example of the "in you face" mothers I was posting about! Those who do not discipline their children!

If the parent doesn't realize the child is doing it, don't you think you should address the adult in the situation first, not the child? Of course if the parent does nothing when you address him/her, then say something to the child. I personally don't go around scolding other people's children for something that can be addressed with the parent first if they are present.

I don't know why you keep throwing out that "in your face" comment or why you seem to think that I, or others on this board, don't discpline our children

 

[summerrluvv]

Have you ever used a tampon? I don't want anyone watching me while doing that.

Well of course no one really wants someone to watch them doing anything in the bathroom, but I'm certainly not going to scream at, embarrass or throw up on a child (like another poster said) who peeks at me while I'm doing my business in the bathroom LOL. I think there are bigger issues in life, but that's just me

 

[dhcoffey]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! That's my only request, if a boy needs to go into the bathroom with mom then I'd like him to go in the stall with her. I know it may be embarassing to the mom in question, but that's considerably more fair (IMHO) than embarassing every other child that enters or exits the restroom.

I have two DDs, 13 and 8. I have read the whole thread and the entire time I was thinking, the best solution is to take your child in the stall with you. That way, they are safe and no one else has to worry about a boy being in the womens rest room. I'm glad I'm not the only one to feel this way.

 

[gardendame]

I don't know why you keep throwing out that "in your face" comment or why you seem to think that I, or others on this board, don't discpline our children

Because you said this: "Are you really exposing that much of yourself when using a public restroom? Do some of you take all of your clothes off to go to the bathroom? LOL Aren't you sitting on the toilet? What exactly is someone seeing."

You say it as though it is no big deal. It IS a big deal. It amazes me that the very parents who are paranoid about safety are the same parents who are passive about discipline. You opinion seemed to come across as "oh, well, doesn't matter if they are peeking, you're just using the bathroom."

Let's reverse this. What if I am really sitting there, in my birthday suit, eating a Mickey Bar. Are you saying it is completely okay for your son to be getting an eye full?

It was the way you worded your post. Hopefully, you really don't think it is okay for little boys to peek.

 

[FredS]

I think the issue here is that it's a violation of privacy, not how much the child is seeing.

This is the main issue here. A woman or girl should be able to go into the ladies room without worrying that a middle school age boy is going to come in. No female should have to justify her level of undress or defend her right, IN THE LADIES ROOM, of not being viewed by a half-grown male. Even in the lower elementary grades boys aren't allowed into the girls' restroom!

And anyone who thinks that a fifth-grade boy is "innocent" and not interested in girls is way, way off base. I am another who thinks that boys this age would (and should be) mortified if they were dragged into the ladies room by their moms. Both because they are way too old and because they hopefully have formed the opinion from the "real world" of school, friends, tv, and so forth that it is inappropriate for them to be violating the privacy of women in a bathroom marked for women.

And whoever commented that she takes her children of both sexes into the ladies room with her and her husband, when she is not around, takes the kids into the mens room with him, including a, as I remember 6-year-old girl -- do you have ANY IDEA what is in a men's room? There are men totally exposed at the urinals. I would be more concerned about exposing that to my young daughter regularly than letting her go to a ladies room by herself while dad stood outside!!!

 

[WantToGoNow]

My dd accidentally went into the men’s room one time when she was 10 at MGM. She was mortified – I saw her go in (yes, she was alone, I did not feel the need to accompany her to pee at that age) and took a picture of her coming out. If she was that embarrassed at being in the men’s room, don’t you think boys of that same age would be embarrassed going in the women’s restroom?

Maybe the overprotective mothers should accompany their son’s into the men’s room instead of bringing them into the women’s – after all there is nothing in there the mother’s haven’t seen but there could very well be something in the women’s room that these adolescent boys haven’t seen yet.

 

[JuliaEeyore]

Oh MY! Some of us are a lot more modest than others...

I do NOT have children and am not used to anyone ever finding me "indisposed." As an only child growing up, my family and I never kept doors open... and my husband and I never do either. Having a face - any age - peek at me while on the pot is just shocking to me. And as mentioned before, I don't have kids peeking in on me all day long. It's my personal space and private time. I would NOT appreciate being viewed in all my glory. (Who mentioned a tampon? I'm going to have nightmares the nest time I'm in a public restroom... I guess I'm a very private person!)

I understand safety issues. I do. I have no problem with young boys in the ladies room when contained in the stall and not peeking under or thru cracks. I didn't have a problem with it when I was a young girl - I understood. But someone here early on in the thread said they take their 12 year old in. Oh my goodness! That's too old in my opinion. I was babysitting at 12. I had crushes on boys at 12. 12 is too impressionable IMO. I can only imagine being a 12 year old girl again and having to pee audibly in the same room as my 12 year old classmate. The horror!!! (And please don't say I'll understand when I have my own 12 year old. It's an argument that I'm tired of seeing everywhere I go.)

 

[gina2000]

I have to ask this of parents who take their 8/9/10 year old male children into the ladies room. Doesn't your child protest over going into a women's rest room? Mine began protesting at age 7. By age 8 he was going into the men's room with me hovering outside the door. (Funny story....we were at a Knick's game and I was hovering outside a very crowded men's room waiting for him....an usher tried to direct me to the women's room thinking I had lost my way....or my mind... ) By age 10 he was on his own navigating a men's room. And that includes Penn Station NY with much trepidation on my part (and a ton of warnings before he went in). I would never wound his dignity nor embarrass him by insisting that he use a women's room. I do think that does have a place in this discussion.

Also, how do you handle changing at a YMCA for swim lessons? Our Y only allows males up to age 6 in the women's locker room. There is a separate changing area for the young boys. After that age, though, they're on their own in the men's locker room.

I guess where I'm going with all of this is that with proper warnings and vigilance (yes, I've still been known to stand outside a restroom door in a strange and/or uncomfortable setting), boys can and will survive a men's room on their own. I think it's an important step in independence as well as helping to develop self esteem and awareness of the world around him.

JMHO.