OP, having a step/blended family can be difficult sometimes. My ex is military and he is remarried with no children. I have the exact opposite problem you do, he is supposed to pay all transportation costs to his home. Basically the court said I can not use his military service against him, i.e. if he is deployed during visitation and asks for special visitation when he returns he should be accomodated. The flipside is he can not use his military service against me. I.e., I did not move, he is choosing to continue in the military with frequent moves therefore the burden of transportation is on him. I have the burden of raising the kids by myself while he is deployed. Sometimes those deployments can last 12/18 months. My ex does not feel that way and places me in the position to either a. pay for transportation costs to get them there after they have gotten excited and ready to see their dad or b. not send them until he sends the plane tickets. I always pay. I always pay because the kids want to see their dad and don't know what an a PITA he can be.
I would not feel guilty about your dd either. Honestly, there are many different versions of fair. If he is going skiing when you are going on vacation and then when he comes to your house you are taking mini vacations, you are not depriving him of anything. When my kiddos go to their dads, or my steps to theirs moms, dh and I take our own mini trips. Sometimes that is to WDW and we enjoy ourselves. Honestly, this business of you and your dd not going anywhere waiting for dss is kinda ridiculous. If this was a big issue for mom she should pay the ticket and call it a day. She is the reason money is tight. Not C/S or extras. The mom is not doing what she has been court ordered to do.
Going to court will help, but honestly your situation could turn into one like my
own where your dh becomes MORE responsibile for the transportation costs. I would definitely take your dss for the whole summer and keep your c/s while he is with you and that will cover at least the summer costs of transportation.. Sometimes the court thing is never ending.
I don't think you should feel guilty, I think you are doing a great job at trying to make everything as wonderful for your dh and dss as you can. The only one letting anyone down is mom. As for your relatives, I would ask if they make everythign fair, does grandmom buy the same exact thing for everyone as well?
Kelly
I would not feel guilty about your dd either. Honestly, there are many different versions of fair. If he is going skiing when you are going on vacation and then when he comes to your house you are taking mini vacations, you are not depriving him of anything. When my kiddos go to their dads, or my steps to theirs moms, dh and I take our own mini trips. Sometimes that is to WDW and we enjoy ourselves. Honestly, this business of you and your dd not going anywhere waiting for dss is kinda ridiculous. If this was a big issue for mom she should pay the ticket and call it a day. She is the reason money is tight. Not C/S or extras. The mom is not doing what she has been court ordered to do.
Going to court will help, but honestly your situation could turn into one like my
own where your dh becomes MORE responsibile for the transportation costs. I would definitely take your dss for the whole summer and keep your c/s while he is with you and that will cover at least the summer costs of transportation.. Sometimes the court thing is never ending.
I don't think you should feel guilty, I think you are doing a great job at trying to make everything as wonderful for your dh and dss as you can. The only one letting anyone down is mom. As for your relatives, I would ask if they make everythign fair, does grandmom buy the same exact thing for everyone as well?
Kelly