Blended family issue, advice needed

[cheermom1]

I don't know I'm still confused but since we can't prove with out a shadow of doubt what ever happened to innocent til proven guilty. Seems to me that this poor woman guilty according to most people here with out knowing everything and how can we possibly know everything if we haven't been there in real life.

I don't know maybe it is b/c i take things at face value instead of just looking for something trying to see if there is something that she might have done wrong just b/c I don't like her. Maybe I might be naive who knows but I still like to know without a shadow of a doubt and right now there doubt.

I guess I just do my best to look for the good in people and take most of what they say at face value. I'm not stupid though if it is a scam I don't ever give money or charity just try to help with advise.

But then again I don't waste my tine or energy into someone elses life or their business b/c if they are doing something wrong they will be caught. And that has through out my life been proven to me so many times as they will screw up. So really why waste your time and energy into stalking someone just to get them in trouble if it doesn;t effect you. But that is just me.

 

[Oh Hia]

This is just somewhat Disney related, but I could use some input.


Me and DH have DD1 and DH has a son from a previous relationship (DSS13).
We live in FL and his ex and his DS live on the westcoast.
We see him every summer (he comes to us) and every other holiday (sometimes we fly out west since we have friends and family out there and sometimes he comes here).
The courtorder states that both parents are 50% responsible for travel costs when DSS travels to us. Which works out to ex's favor to begin with since a lot of holidays are spent out west, so no costs for her at all.
The first few years of this agreement worked fine but then Ex had 3 more children by her now husband and very often she said she couldnt afford to cover her half of the travel. My DH let it slide many times and we coughed up the entire cost for travel (often putting a huge strain on our own finances, especially when I was pregnant with DD since i could not work at all).

We rely on both of us working to be able to pay our bills, have a little extra and go on a trip every once in a while. We both make about the same amount, DH is in the army and I am a surgical vet tech.
DH works long hours (when hes not deployed) and I work mostly 12 hour days and a lot of weekends and late evenings, so we pay a big amount in daycare for my DD. Financially it wouldnt make sense for me to stay home, we need my income to help support us.

Now here is the issue:
Whenever Ex calls asking DH for additional money for things DSS wants or needs, we offer to pay half. No more no less. He pays a pretty penny in child support, so we think half is more than fair.
Oftentimes this will result in an argument and later a phone call by extended family members saying this like "well I know you did xyz for DD and bought her xyz which cost $x, so you need to do the equal thing for DSS".

Now don't get me wrong I will do what I can for DSS but the reason we can do certain things for DD is because both of us work. Not that I don't want to do or pay for certain things for DSS, but I think his mother is responsible for half of it.
My DD gets certain things because her father AND mother contribute to them, whereas in my DDS situation, my DH is expected to pick up all the slack "because we do it for DD".
Am I completely wrong by thinking this is hardly fair?

DSSs mom will take him on vactions to wyoming or utah (where he now husband has family) a couple times a year.
We recently took DD to Disney for the first time (while DSS was on christmas vacation in wyoming with his mother) and got berated my the entire family about not waiting for DSS to be able to come along.
We would LOVE to take DSS to disney with us one year but that will require a lot more saving up. It was easy to take DD as she was still nursing, shared off our plates a bit and was free to all parks.

I am getting the impression that we are expected not to take any trips that do not include DSS because "it isnt fair".
Its hard for me to see the reasoning in this, because he does get to go on vacation with his mom and when hes with us we do loads of fun stuff (whcih can also strain a budget considering most kids over 11 pay adult prices and he does not eat off kids menus either)
BOTH of us work our butts off to be able to give DD a few extras here and there and we would love to help contribute to giving DSS extras also, but without his mother contributing it is nearly impossible.

Sorry this got so long, this probably reads like a huge vent, but I welcome all comments!

In case anyone was wondering here's the original post by the OP.

You've got to love computers! I tend to open a lot of windows when I'm on the DIS, and I don't always worry about closing them out. I sat down at the lap top, after being away for a few days, and the first page of this thread was in one of those windows.

 

[crashbb]

I don't know I'm still confused but since we can't prove with out a shadow of doubt what ever happened to innocent til proven guilty. Seems to me that this poor woman guilty according to most people here with out knowing everything and how can we possibly know everything if we haven't been there in real life.

I don't know maybe it is b/c i take things at face value instead of just looking for something trying to see if there is something that she might have done wrong just b/c I don't like her. Maybe I might be naive who knows but I still like to know without a shadow of a doubt and right now there doubt.

I guess I just do my best to look for the good in people and take most of what they say at face value. I'm not stupid though if it is a scam I don't ever give money or charity just try to help with advise.

But then again I don't waste my tine or energy into someone elses life or their business b/c if they are doing something wrong they will be caught. And that has through out my life been proven to me so many times as they will screw up. So really why waste your time and energy into stalking someone just to get them in trouble if it doesn;t effect you. But that is just me.

But you aren't taking what the second poster said at face value, are you?

You are doing exactly what everyone else who posted an opinion is doing - choosing a side - you've just choosen the other side. I don't see that anyone else (other than the poster who came her to accuse the OP) has wasted anymore time and energy on this than you have, they've just come to a different conclusion.

 

[cheermom1]

But you aren't taking what the second poster said at face value, are you?

You are doing exactly what everyone else who posted an opinion is doing - choosing a side - you've just choosen the other side. I don't see that anyone else (other than the poster who came her to accuse the OP) has wasted anymore time and energy on this than you have, they've just come to a different conclusion.

Nope not choosing just that I don't care one way or the other if she is the same poster b/c I have not defended her either way just stated that I feel as tough there is doubt but I am not going to waste any more time or energy to find out if she she is indeed the horse thief is all. Not going to sit here and try to google her or find her personal info. Not for me. So nope I didn't choose and nor did I defend her on her OP about being a step mom nor did i defend her about not being a horse thief b/c I don;t know and i won't waste time to find out that was i was saying. So sorry if you took it the wrong way.

 

[Swan4Me]

Thank you for the advise, I moved down south when I was going through a divorce. I had 3 horses total. Sold her 1 other horse (domino) about 8 months prior and everything seemed fine.

I had 2 horses left 1 was amazing (levi) and the other was a little 3 year old green broke PMU mare (nala), she really wanted levi and nala had not been without him since she was little, she had abandonment issues and would stress colic when levi was not on the property.
Said she didn't have a bunch of money and could make payments.

They were a package deal I gave her nala free and took payments on levi to keep them together

. I turned down 4 times the amount of money I agreed to sell levi for to keep them together, it was never about the money. I loved them, I put 10 years into levi and rescued nala from Canada, had her shipped in when she was only 6 months old. In the span of 9 months she sold domino and nala and levi out of state.
I never wrote her a bill of sale on levi only a contract to sell. I also drew up a buy back agreement which stated that if levi were ever to be sold, given away, or transferred in any way that I would have first buy back option on him at the very low price I was selling him to her for..

Sounds like YOU made some mistakes here, so you just stalk her all over the 'net-even if you just 'think" this is her? Nuts

 

[Skywalker]

I don't think trying to bring someone to justice should be called "stalking". And I do believe she is the right person, since she deleted all her posts and ran as soon as the accusation came out.

Good luck, Zipp!

 

[badblackpug]

I don't think trying to bring someone to justice should be called "stalking". And I do believe she is the right person, since she deleted all her posts and ran as soon as the accusation came out.

Good luck, Zipp!

I think I've got to agree with this. Why would the OP delete all of her posts if this was just some random nutjob stalker? I'm not sure how Zipp figured out it was horse-thief Sylvia, but I'm impressed if it is actually her. Looks like armywife may have a few more financial burdens than just airfare, and paying for her stepson's adult WDW tickets.

 

[squirrel]

I think I've got to agree with this. Why would the OP delete all of her posts if this was just some random nutjob stalker? I'm not sure how Zipp figured out it was horse-thief Sylvia, but I'm impressed if it is actually her. Looks like armywife may have a few more financial burdens than just airfare, and paying for her stepson's adult WDW tickets.

I agree. I didn't spend much time looking at armywife's other posts but I did find it interesting that she is planning another trip in a few months to celebrate her daughters birthday.

 

[Wadecool]

Nope not choosing just that I don't care one way or the other if she is the same poster b/c I have not defended her either way just stated that I feel as tough there is doubt but I am not going to waste any more time or energy to find out if she she is indeed the horse thief is all. Not going to sit here and try to google her or find her personal info. Not for me. So nope I didn't choose and nor did I defend her on her OP about being a step mom nor did i defend her about not being a horse thief b/c I don;t know and i won't waste time to find out that was i was saying. So sorry if you took it the wrong way.

So, you're wasting time and energy to announce that you're not going to waste anymore time or energy?

 

[crashbb]

So, you're wasting time and energy to announce that you're not going to waste anymore time or energy?

Gotta love the irony.

That and the fact that it is impossible to take both posters at face value. If you take all posters at face value then you have to assume that OP is a horse thief. If you don't (or whether you've decided that she's not or have decided that you don't know) then you have chosen not to believe Zip's posts. You being general you, not you specifically.

But hey, if someone wants to feel morally superior about their ability not to care about other posters, more power to them.

 

[Wadecool]

Gotta love the irony.

That and the fact that it is impossible to take both posters at face value. If you take all posters at face value then you have to assume that OP is a horse thief. If you don't (or whether you've decided that she's not or have decided that you don't know) then you have chosen not to believe Zip's posts. You being general you, not you specifically.

But hey, if someone wants to feel morally superior about their ability not to care about other posters, more power to them.

True or not, did you ever think you'd be commenting in a thread involving horse theft on the DIS? This thread has made me want to watch westerns all weekend.

 

[robinb]

I don't know I'm still confused but since we can't prove with out a shadow of doubt what ever happened to innocent til proven guilty.

This is the DIS, not a jury . FTR, I think the OP is "Horse Thief Sylvia" too

 

[crashbb]

True or not, did you ever think you'd be commenting in a thread involving horse theft on the DIS? This thread has made me want to watch westerns all weekend.

Not something I thought I'd see on the DIS. I remember seeing this thread when it was first posted (but didn't comment on it). Then when it popped up again, I thought it was the OP updating something, so I checked it. Very surprised by the actual update.

 

[badblackpug]

I agree. I didn't spend much time looking at armywife's other posts but I did find it interesting that she is planning another trip in a few months to celebrate her daughters birthday.

...and you can bet that trip doesn't include her financial burden of a step-son.

This is the DIS, not a jury . FTR, I think the OP is "Horse Thief Sylvia" too

Oh for sure. The sudden disappearance is extremely suspicious. Any normal person, when accused of being a horse thief would have

True or not, did you ever think you'd be commenting in a thread involving horse theft on the DIS? This thread has made me want to watch westerns all weekend.

...and it's cold an snowing here... lets find "The Duke" on AMC.

 

[North of Mouse]

True or not, did you ever think you'd be commenting in a thread involving horse theft on the DIS? This thread has made me want to watch westerns all weekend.

But seriously, if that were not me I would just be in shock that someone would think such of me, not rushing around to delete my posts. If you have nothing to hide seems silly and "fishy" and attracts the feeling of guilt to delete posts . Also, as a PP said, just because you delete your own posts, they are still mostly there quoted by others, so, as I said before, you can run but not hide No matter, I do hope this PP continues to "dog" this Sylvia (whomever she is) because I can't stand abuse, whether it be animal or human (nor dishonesty).

 

[squirrel]

Check with the person running the fridge swap-not sure if she actually joined, I just know she posted on the thread.

If she joined maybe the person running it will give you her phone #. Hope you catch her.

 

[zippnzena]

Check with the person running the fridge swap-not sure if she actually joined, I just know she posted on the thread.

If she joined maybe the person running it will give you her phone #. Hope you catch her.

What is the fridge swap? I will check it out if you can tell me what it is and where I find it. Usarmywife84 went off the grid, Lol cannot find anything new under that screen name anymore either last post anywhere on the internet was jan 9th but I did she that she purchased a new horse last month, so much for having no money. I would post privately but says I need 10 posts to send to enter my e-mail address to keep it off the board.

 

[Glennie5]

I think this just might be the most bizarre thread I have ever read

 

[North of Mouse]

I think this just might be the most bizarre thread I have ever read

2nd that!! Horse thievery and all

 

[Wadecool]

What is the fridge swap? I will check it out if you can tell me what it is and where I find it. Usarmywife84 went off the grid, Lol cannot find anything new under that screen name anymore either last post anywhere on the internet was jan 9th but I did she that she purchased a new horse last month, so much for having no money. I would post privately but says I need 10 posts to send to enter my e-mail address to keep it off the board.

Good luck! If you ever do catch her, please come back and let us know. It would be nice to hear about a happy ending for you and your horse.