Gabby Petito

[PinkPixel]

Yeah, this doesn't surprise me at all. She honestly sounds like a train wreck. I don't know if I think the boyfriend is guilty after all. Domestic violence where the woman is the aggressor can be kind of embarrassing for a lot of men. I can see how if she flew off the handle and stomped off it would be hard for a man to admit to having been attacked by his girlfriend. And if he had self defense injuries, it is very easy to see how that could be interpreted as him attacking her.

I don't have a lot of sympathy for abusers, regardless of gender. The fact that she got this hysterical over a stupid blog and physically attacked her boyfriend is not good for her image here.

He was withholding her car keys, to her van that was listed in her name and was controlling her that way. It’s really sad even after this woman is missing and her van drove home without her that people don’t see that the cop messed up with this report. He grabbed her face. It wasn’t one sided and she’s the one missing and with him taking her property home and getting a lawyer.

 

[DLgal]

This is all speculation, of course, but to me Brian Laundrie is not behaving like someone who killed his long-time girlfriend/fiancé.

If that were the case I would expect him to try to hide, maybe even try to leave the country. Or -- if he did kill her, he seems like more of a candidate for murder/suicide.

I would not expect him to drive her van more than 2,000 miles back to his own home where everybody knows where to look for him.

To me, his behavior seems more like someone who either left his fiancé or got left by her.

But as I said, we are all just speculating.

I agree. Also, their van was basically "social media famous" so why would he drive it across the country by himself? Seems like a good way to get a lot of attention. I feel like if he killed her, he'd have left the van and hitched his way somewhere, but NOT back home. We don't really know how far Gabby came with him in the van. He could have dropped her off anywhere, even somewhere in FL. There is really no proof he drove back alone. It's all a lot of speculation. All we know if that he returned home alone. He could have ditched her anywhere. The police have the van. Presumably there wasn't any evidence in there that indicated a crime was committed, at least none that involved the van. It's difficult because she was living in the van with him so obviously her DNA is going to be all over it, but I suppose they didn't find anything suspicious like blood.

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

I don’t know if you mean to but you’re basically blaming him for her physically assaulting him. This is why men can’t win for losing in domestic situations and part of the reason why they don’t speak up.

I’m not defending the guy. I mean at this point he looks pretty guilty but at the moment there’s no evidence a crime took place. In instances like this I always hope against hope that the missing person will turn up unharmed. I think of all the social media influencers that have been busted for making crap up to get their names out there. Really stupid, crazy stuff. I really want that to be the case here. Probably not but I can hope.

No, I don't mean to defend her physically assaulting him and I don't think I did. He admitted to grabbing her face and shoving her, so they both laid hands on each other. I thought the rest of my post about gaslighting and locking her out of the car, etc. explained why I thought he wasn't as innocent as he may have appeared in that video. I get what you are saying, though. Either party can play dirty and manipulate things in their favor in order to gain the upper hand. And I do empathize with men who are decent and would never lay a hand on a woman or anyone else for that matter, who get played by women who think it's okay to be an abuser and blame it on the guy just because she can.

 

[DLgal]

He was withholding her car keys, to her van that was listed in her name and was controlling her that way. It’s really sad even after this woman is missing and her van drove home without her that people don’t see that the cop messed up with this report. He grabbed her face. It wasn’t one sided and she’s the one missing and with him taking her property home and getting a lawyer.

She admitted that she didn't drive the van. She was upset and he withheld the keys so she wouldn't drive away in an angry rage. His explanation that they walked away from the van because they both needed to cool off is reasonable. Driving while arguing is dangerous, as evidenced by what the cop witnessed before pulling them over (speeding, swerving, etc). In an explosive argument, the last thing either person should do is get in a car. He had the keys and she wanted them so she attacked him and hit him with her phone. I'm sorry, but you cannot just overlook that. It's assault, regardless of whether he drove her to it or not. If that's the case, they are both at fault. This is clearly a toxic relationship where both parties are contributing to the dysfunction.

 

[White Cat]

Time will tell.

 

[wenrob]

He was withholding her car keys, to her van that was listed in her name and was controlling her that way. It’s really sad even after this woman is missing and her van drove home without her that people don’t see that the cop messed up with this report. He grabbed her face. It wasn’t one sided and she’s the one missing and with him taking her property home and getting a lawyer.

Would you justify a man hitting a woman if she was withholding his keys? She should have called the cops. And let’s be honest, they let her go because they didn’t feel she was a threat to him. I do agree it’s not one sided but the only thing we know for a fact at this moment is that she admitted to being the aggressor in that altercation.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

#americasdaughter is offensive? They don't own that hashtag. Anyone can use it. It wouldn't be my choice of a description, but it's also not going to make me cancel them.
I believe her parents are living an unrelenting nightmare. I'll cut them some slack.

I get why the ruffles are feathered by saying americasdaughter, it's a strange one to pick. Gabby's name would have been the logical choice like #findGabby or include her last name. I'm sure they picked americasdaughter deliberately and I don't even think race or ethnicity is the only conclusion to its usage. I don't think it rises to vilify the parents though I don't think the PP was doing that either but it's still IMO understandable why the hashtag chosen is off-putting.

 

[wenrob]

I missed the face/shove thing. When did this happen?

 

[1GoldenSun]

#americasdaughter is offensive? They don't own that hashtag. Anyone can use it. It wouldn't be my choice of a description, but it's also not going to make me cancel them.
I believe her parents are living an unrelenting nightmare. I'll cut them some slack.

I get why the ruffles are feathered by saying americasdaughter, it's a strange one to pick. Gabby's name would have been the logical choice like #findGabby or include her last name. I'm sure they picked americasdaughter deliberately and I don't even think race or ethnicity is the only conclusion to its usage. I don't think it rises to vilify the parents though I don't think the PP was doing that either but it's still IMO understandable why the hashtag chosen is off-putting.

I admit I am probably overreacting a little. I recently was present in a situation where one young person was described by an adult as the "perfect All-American boy" to the young man's parents, right in front of the parents of another young man who had just accomplished the same feat for which the first young man was being praised. The first young man is white, handsome, and very popular and the second young man is brown, first-generation American, and quiet/reserved/"nerdish." The parents of the second young man definitely picked up on the difference in which their similarly-accomplished son was perceived and I felt terrible for them. Their son was an All-American boy just as much as the other boy. I think more than anything I was angry with myself for not saying anything.

I do understand that this girl's parents are living a nightmare and I understand that they would do anything to help get their daughter back home safe and sound. If I were in their shoes I might do the same thing, but I still find it cringeworthy.

 

[DLgal]

I missed the face/shove thing. When did this happen?

Gabby told police that he grabbed her face by the chin, but she adamantly said he was not aggressive and did not hurt her. They both said that he used his hands to make her keep her distance from him. Neither said he pushed her. They both explained it as she went at him and he put his hands up to keep her away from him. The witness also said he did not push her, but he had his hands up in a defensive manner to keep her off him. All 3 stories are the same.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

He was withholding her car keys, to her van that was listed in her name and was controlling her that way. It’s really sad even after this woman is missing and her van drove home without her that people don’t see that the cop messed up with this report. He grabbed her face. It wasn’t one sided and she’s the one missing and with him taking her property home and getting a lawyer.

I don’t think the police did a bad job during the altercation incident. Just the opposite, in fact.

After an hour long investigation, interviewing both Gabby and Brian, separately, as well as the witness who called in the complaint named Chris (Christopher), she was determined to be the aggressor. There were times Brian was defending himself, like when she came after him a couple of times in the car. He had wounds. She did not, that I know of (correct me if I’m wrong). A wound on his face where she smacked him with her phone, and possibly other injuries on his face. He also had scratches on his arms from where she clawed him - while he was driving - when the police had their lights on and were pulling them over, which caused him to swerve. (Police originally thought the driver might be intoxicated, after seeing the swerve.) The reason Brian said he grabbed her face was defensive, when she was coming after him, and she admitted to this. She was upset and angry because he ”kept telling her to calm down” when she was “manic”. (I did see those words as I have been reading various reports.)

Many of us know this can be a very difficult situation to deal with in someone with mental illness.

Rightfully, the police separated the two for the night. Gabby was allowed to leave in her van (not sure where she went), and the police arranged for Brian to stay in what I gather was a hostel-type place for the night. Reading through the arrest reports I thought the police took a lot of time with them and used a lot of sensitivity when determining what happened and what should occur at that point, for both their safety.

I will try to go back and find the report that I learned this information from. If I can find it, I will edit it in here.

It’s a lot easier to look at a situation in hindsight, and as an observer, than it is when you’re in that situation.

 

[White Cat]

I admit I am probably overreacting a little. I recently was present in a situation where one young person was described by an adult as the "perfect All-American boy" to the young man's parents, right in front of the parents of another young man who had just accomplished the same feat for which the first young man was being praised. The first young man is white, handsome, and very popular and the second young man is brown, first-generation American, and quiet/reserved/"nerdish." The parents of the second young man definitely picked up on the difference in which their similarly-accomplished son was perceived and I felt terrible for them. Their son was an All-American boy just as much as the other boy. I think more than anything I was angry with myself for not saying anything.

I do understand that this girl's parents are living a nightmare and I understand that they would do anything to help get their daughter back home safe and sound. If I were in their shoes I might do the same thing, but I still find it cringeworthy.

You are over reacting a lot.

 

[wenrob]

Gabby told police that he grabbed her face by the chin, but she adamantly said he was not aggressive and did not hurt her. They both said that he used his hands to make her keep her distance from him. Neither said he pushed her. They both explained it as she went at him and he put his hands up to keep her away from him. The witness also said he did not push her, but he had his hands up in a defensive manner to keep her off him. All 3 stories are the same.

Thank you.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

This is not the exact article I was referring to (which showed the actual police reports) but it is very similar.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-new...-petito-fianc-last-month-after-fight-n1279302

Utah police stopped Gabby Petito and fiancé after fight before she went missing, report says

Police said neither Petito nor her fiance, Brian Laundrie, wanted to press charges. The couple agreed to be separated for the night, officials said.

Antonio Planas
Antonio Planas is a breaking news reporter for NBC News Digital.

Sept. 15, 2021, 5:41 PM EDT / Updated Sept. 15, 2021, 7:44 PM EDT

Police in Utah say they responded to a physical altercation between a New York woman and her fiancé on a cross-country road trip in August — less than a month before the woman's family reported her missing.

The responding officer wrote that Gabrielle "Gabby" Petito, 22, slapped Brian Laundrie after an argument, according to a report released Wednesday by the Moab City Police Department. But both she and Laundrie told the officer that neither wanted to press charges and that they loved each other.

An officer responded to a possible domestic violence call near a grocery store in Moab, about 140 miles southeast of Provo. The officer spoke with Petito, Laundrie and a witness whose name was partially redacted in the report.

“All three individuals gave me a similar and consistent story, consisting of the basic idea that the driver of the van, a male, had some sort of argument with the female, Gabbie, as I recall," the report says.

"The male tried to create distance by telling Gabbie to take a walk to calm down, she didn’t want to be separated from the male, and began slapping him. He grabbed her face and pushed her back as she pressed upon him and the van."

The incident appeared to be more a mental and emotional "break" than a domestic incident, police said.

“No one reported that the male struck the female, both the male and the female reported they are in love and engaged and to be married and desperately didn’t wish to see anyone charged with a crime," according to the report. "There were no significant injures reported and both agreed that Gabbie suffers from serious anxiety.”

The officer wrote that when he arrived on scene, near the Moonflower Co-op, he was looking for a white Ford Transit van, which was later stopped by another officer near the entrance of the Arches National Park. While on scene, the Moab officer said there were also two park officers there, the report said.

During the exchange with police, the couple told officers they were struggling with their mental health, but not taking medication.

A second officer listed in the police report wrote he pulled over the van, driven by Laundrie, after observing it going about 45 mph in a 15-mph speed zone. After the officer turned on his lights to pull over the vehicle, he said he witnessed it swerve and strike the curb before it came to a stop.

After the van was pulled over, the officer said Petito was “crying uncontrollably” and told him she was struggling with her mental health. Petito was placed in the back of the officer’s car, the report said, while he spoke to Laundrie on his own.

Petito said she had hit Laundrie in the arm to get his attention as the officer was trying to pull them over, which caused the van to swerve into the curb, the report said. But Laundrie said he thought Petito was trying to grab the wheel while he was driving, resulting in the swerve. The officer said Laundrie's account "was not consistent with Gabrielle's statement" and reported he saw scratches on Laundrie's arm.

The couple had spent the past four or five months traveling together, which was creating tension, the report said. “The time spent created emotional strain between them and increased the number of arguments,” the report said.

The couple agreed to separate in lieu of police making a case against Petito for domestic assault, the report said. The officer said he needed to make sure Laundrie wasn’t a victim of “battered boyfriend syndrome."

Petito was given the van and Laundrie was taken to a hotel, police said. The couple separated for the night and no charges were filed.

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

#americasdaughter is offensive? They don't own that hashtag. Anyone can use it. It wouldn't be my choice of a description, but it's also not going to make me cancel them.
I believe her parents are living an unrelenting nightmare. I'll cut them some slack.

It plays into "missing white woman syndrome." That is what is offensive.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Another, with a few more details, bolded

https://nbc-2.com/news/2021/09/16/d...fiance-brian-laundrie-prior-to-her-vanishing/

Petito and Laundrie started driving away from the co-op and were eventually pulled over by Moab police outside of the entrance to Arches National Park.

When an officer went up to the van, Petito was crying uncontrollably. While giving a statement to police, Petito never stopped crying, was continuously breathing heavily and could not compose a sentence without needing to wipe away tears, wipe her nose or rub her knees with her hands, Moab police noted in a police report.

Petito repeatedly told officers that she knows Laundrie gets frustrated with her often and that she suffers from anxiety and OCD, which only exacerbates issues between the pair. Petito described the stress she had been feeling from trying to start a blog about their “van life journey,” saying Laundrie didn’t believe that she could do it and that he “really stresses” her out.

Laundrie told officers that issues between the two had been building over the last few days, which caused them to argue more than usual.

After speaking with both Laundrie and Petito, officers found that the pair had gotten into an argument and Laundrie tried to get Petito to take a walk to calm down, but Petito refused.

Laundrie reportedly got into their van and tried to lock the doors, leading Petito to believe he was going to leave her in Moab without a ride, which is when she went to slap him.

Laundrie said he grabbed Petito’s face and tried to push her back from him, knocking her off balance. In the process, her fingers caught his face, leaving minor scratches on his face, he said.

Petito was able to open the driver’s side door and force her way over Laundrie and into the van, which is when the couple drove off, according to the police report.

Both Laundrie and Petito told officers that they were in love and desperately did not want to see anyone charged with a crime. The couple and the responding officers ultimately described the incident as the result of a mental health crisis on Petito’s part rather than a case of domestic assault.

Moab police concluded that the best course of action would be for the pair to separate for the night and calm down. Officers arranged for Laundrie to stay in a hotel room while Petito stayed in the van.

 

[Marrila]

It plays into "missing white woman syndrome." That is what is offensive.

I don't disagree. But I don't know who's idea it was, or what was their intent. It appears to me that her parents are terrified something awful has happened to their daughter.
Sometimes shock and terror can affect a person's ability to make top flight choices.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I find this revolting. All females residing in the United States are America's Daughters and we should care equally about all of them. My own daughter is slim, blue-eyed, blonde haired, cute as all get-out, and gets a sunburn from the glow of the refrigerator lightbulb if she takes too long choosing a snack, but that doesn't mean she is more American or more worthy of concern than any other young female. It's repugnant that they're pushing this and honestly makes me sympathize with them less.

#americasdaughter is offensive? They don't own that hashtag. Anyone can use it. It wouldn't be my choice of a description, but it's also not going to make me cancel them.
I believe her parents are living an unrelenting nightmare. I'll cut them some slack.

It plays into "missing white woman syndrome." That is what is offensive.

Amid Search for Gabrielle Petito, Imagine If Mainstream Media Covered Missing Black Women And Girls As Extensively

 

[Marrila]

Amid Search for Gabrielle Petito, Imagine If Mainstream Media Covered Missing Black Women And Girls As Extensively

We can discuss the societal neglect of minorities in the US. It's been awful for years. Jobs, housing, schools, medicine, you name it.
I was just having a non-judgmental moment for some (what I believe are) weary, terrified parents.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

We can discuss the societal neglect of minorities in the US. It's been awful for years. Jobs, housing, schools, medicine, you name it.
I was just having a non-judgmental moment for some (what I believe are) weary, terrified parents.

I don't necessarily judge the parents, I think we can all agree they are just in an awful place right now. But I do think it seems like they picked that hashtag on purpose not a momentary lapse in thinking because their minds were chaotic. I just understand why saying americasdaughter can rub people the wrong way and I do think it's okay for people to be like "umm.." It doesn't have to mean they had nefarious intentions either so I'm not knocking them as parents or people.

My first inclination would be to use her name because it makes her name well-known, it makes it clear who they are looking for, it keeps her name in people's minds especially if they use her first and last name and it's going to be easy for that to pop up in social media and internet searches. It's apparently worked like DLgal said for americasdaughter although I do wonder the staying power in that should she not be found soon enough.