How much $$ would you give as wedding gift?

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Curious how you feel about destination weddings? The couple is saying we’d love you to attend...only if you can afford airfare, hotel, time off work etc. (I have never been invited to a destination wedding myself). That would be a lot more than the $500 some have mentioned.

Not the poster but I think they are related and yet not related.

Airfare, hotel and time off from work are things that happen to many many weddings regardless of it being considered a "destination wedding".

I'm just going to give my opinion here-The thing with cover your plate is considering stuff related to things that others aren't considering (the type of venue, the food options and how they are served (like plated vs not), where the couple lives and the COL, the opulence if you will of the venue, etc.)

Whether you're at a destination wedding or not the cover your plate would still be the same mentality. That's not necessarily what others are saying when they talk about not doing the cover your plate.

My husband's uncle almost didn't make it to his brother's wedding (my father-in-law's from last weekend) due to work schedules (he works on Broadway in NYC), it happens. That wouldn't have changed if the wedding was on an island. We couldn't afford the time off, plane tickets and lodging costs all together to go to my best friend of over 20 years. Her wedding was considered destination and it was only in the next state over. Destination weddings aren't solely defined as some swanky resort in a foreign place. Destination weddings encompass getting married away from the home area of the couple.

 

[mjkacmom]

I should add, because to me saying "cover your plate" as a rule means that the person who cannot afford to do it should not attend the wedding.

My best friend from high school just got married for the second time recently (to her high school sweetheart). Another HS friend who is going through a very difficult financial time said she felt bad that she couldn’t give a gift. The rest of us reassured her that no gift was needed, our friend would much rather have us be there (and no one said it, but the bride would’ve been very uncomfortable receiving anything from this friend, knowing her circumstances).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

That's not even JUST destination weddings. That's for any couple getting married in a place where one half of the couple is from. An upcoming wedding I am attending is not a destination wedding for the bride or her family, as it's where she grew up, but the groom's side and most of their mutual friends have to travel, make accommodations, etc.

Yup.

We traveled nearly 4 hours (equivalent of 250 miles) for the wedding last weekend (bride is from that area though she doesn't live there anymore but so is the groom's mother).

We were able to stay at the bride's prior boss's house that he is currently trying to sell for free but we did originally have a hotel room for 2 nights booked that cost over $300 (we just cancelled when we found out for sure we would be staying at the other house). Add in the gas costs for our car driving there and including getting to and from the house we were staying at which was in the boonies really so that added on time and gas (it took us 40mins to get to the wedding venue for instance from the house whereas the hotel we originally had booked would have taken 7 mins).

 

[firefly_ris]

That's not even JUST destination weddings. That's for any couple getting married in a place where one half of the couple is from. An upcoming wedding I am attending is not a destination wedding for the bride or her family, as it's where she grew up, but the groom's side and most of their mutual friends have to travel, make accommodations, etc.

That was our wedding too, it was in my hometown and my husband's family traveled. 6 hour drive or 45 minute flight... I didn't expect everyone to make the trip, but amazingly 99.9% of them all came -- and my husband has a huge family (mother is one of 9 and father is one of 8, most all married, some 2 generations of children as well). Not to mention several friends came as well. Just having almost everyone able to make it was a gift in itself.

 

[declansdad]

 

[bobbiwoz]

It’s really tough to put an amount on a wedding gift. Cousin’s daughter got married in spring on west coast, without a non immediate family reception, and when we saw the couple, we gave them a $100 present. We certainly understood why we were not invited to the wedding, and we wanted to express our delight in seeing them together.

Next April, another cousin’s daughter is getting married here in NJ, we will be invited and yes, our gift will be more, the outlay for our participation in just going to the wedding will be a lot more. It doesn’t mean we are happier to see this second couple together, it’s just a fact of life that we will be having the happy experience of seeing them on their wedding day.

 

[Skellingtonj]

I should add, because to me saying "cover your plate" as a rule means that the person who cannot afford to do it should not attend the wedding.

No because there are always those who give more. And it doesn’t matter. I’m firmly planted in the “give what you can afford” camp and cover your plate is the norm where I live.

 

[dreamin_disney]

From CT here, not a swanky family but always try to cover the plate at mininum. At my wedding 4 years ago, one aunt and uncle (who are like second parents to me) gave $500, 2 other sets gave $250 (their kids, all adults, gave their own monetary gifts). In Newport, where a plate costs $150 minimum, that is what I would do. Hell, we have a wedding for our neighbors grandkids next year and we plan to do at least $200 from my wife and I. In lower New England, NY or NJ, anything less would be somewhat surprising.

What the heck are they serving at these wedding that a plate cost $150 minimum? Please don't tell me chicken breast, and sides made to look fancy-lol!

 

[shoney]

Usually a five hour party.
Cocktail hour with pass arounds Meat carving stations Sushi. Seafood on ice Cooked to order pasta bar and stir fry bar. Etc. so much food

Sit down dinner. App. Salad. Choice of fish chicken or beef. And more alcohol!

Dessert. Cake. Many have additional tables with cordials served in little chocolate shot glasses and Tons of other stuff.

That was my menu 26 years ago but it was only $85 a head. And we had a Friday night wedding which was cheaper Prices have gone up.

 

[mjkacmom]

Usually a five hour party.
Cocktail hour with pass arounds Meat carving stations Sushi. Seafood on ice Cooked to order pasta bar and stir fry bar. Etc. so much food

Sit down dinner. App. Salad. Choice of fish chicken or beef. And more alcohol!

Dessert. Cake. Many have additional tables with cordials served in little chocolate shot glasses and Tons of other stuff.

That was my menu 26 years ago but it was only $85 a head. And we had a Friday night wedding which was cheaper Prices have gone up.

You forgot the pasta course.

 

[Suprachica79]

What the heck are they serving at these wedding that a plate cost $150 minimum? Please don't tell me chicken breast, and sides made to look fancy-lol!

You pay a lot for the venue itself, that goes hand in hand with the food quality. In Newport, venues can charge a lot more than some random place in middle America, standard of living is much higher. My cousin had his wedding at a popular Connecticut venue in Farmington, cocktail hour, open bar, several courses, I believe theirs was between $125-$150 per plate. Everything costs more in this part of the country, just part of the deal...

For reference, I pay $5000 a year in property tax on a house valued at $200,000, plus about $1500 a year on 2 newer cars and a truck...this is CT life lol.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

venues can charge a lot more than some random place in middle America, standard of living is much higher.

I find this statement funny given where I live.

People living in multi-million dollar neighborhoods are getting married in the same area as those living in neighborhoods a fraction of the cost in my area. Venues charge what the people will pay. If no one will pay the fees people won't be booking those places like crazy.

In certain parts of the nation clearly people are more willing to pay higher prices across the board. That's neither bad nor good just is what it is. Here there's some high dollar costs places you can book at or catering companies and some lower dollar ones and ones in the middle. I guess competition works out in our favor in our area. Seems like in that part of the country it's a captive audience more than willing to pay more money.

 

[Suprachica79]

I find this statement funny given where I live.

People living in multi-million dollar neighborhoods are getting married in the same area as those living in neighborhoods a fraction of the cost in my area. Venues charge what the people will pay. If no one will pay the fees people won't be booking those places like crazy.

In certain parts of the nation clearly people are more willing to pay higher prices across the board. That's neither bad nor good just is what it is. Here there's some high dollar costs places you can book at or catering companies and some lower dollar ones and ones in the middle. I guess competition works out in our favor in our area. Seems like in that part of the country it's a captive audience more than willing to pay more money.

There is definitely the same here as well, Every state has their areas with money and areas without. My wedding was much more economical, but we did a Saturday morning brunch type which was 4 hours instead of 5, a buffet rather than plated, and mimosas were included, we refused to pay for an open bar for people to get drunk in the morning lol. Different strokes for different folks, but in general I think venues cost more on the coasts.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

There is definitely the same here as well, Every state has their areas with money and areas without. My wedding was much more economical, but we did a Saturday morning brunch type which was 4 hours instead of 5, a buffet rather than plated, and mimosas were included, we refused to pay for an open bar for people to get drunk in the morning lol. Different strokes for different folks, but in general I think venues cost more on the coasts.

I don't know if it's a coasts thing or not in all honesty or just a particular region namely CT, NY, RI and NJ given just how many comments from people in those area here on the DIS about cover you plate and high dollar wedding costs. People aren't necessarily getting anything less here (I checked for the heck of it one catering companies and you can get all the food stations you want to your hearts content but the cost will likely be less than your area just basing off the comments) . I will give you that you'll probably have better seafood than my area lol.

 

[manning]

$5.00 I'm part bohemian

 

[gillep]

I don't know if it's a coasts thing or not in all honesty or just a particular region namely CT, NY, RI and NJ given just how many comments from people in those area here on the DIS about cover you plate and high dollar wedding costs. People aren't necessarily getting anything less here (I checked for the heck of it one catering companies and you can get all the food stations you want to your hearts content but the cost will likely be less than your area just basing off the comments) . I will give you that you'll probably have better seafood than my area lol.

It isn't about people getting more in those areas, and that being why the costs are higher, it is simply that things cost more in those areas so they have to pay more for comparable things. Venues would not be able to offer their services if they were not able to cover their costs including mortgage or rent, taxes, payroll, utilities, etc. and many of those things cost more in in higher COL areas, you don't have a choice. My husband's family is from about an hour NW of NYC and my family is from the Buffalo NY suburbs, the costs of a basic wedding in those areas, at similar venues, was drastically different because things cost less in Buffalo. It is not about willingness to pay more, things just cost more, that's the reality. My husband and I have moved around the US for different jobs quite a bit and costs for basically everything varies greatly between different places, moving from Texas to CA was shocking let me tell you, and we had previously lived in Washington DC so we shouldn't have been as shocked as we were, every time I go back to visit my mom in Buffalo I am shocked by the price of much of her produce as it is much higher than I am used to living in CA and even TX before that.

 

[NotUrsula]

You pay a lot for the venue itself, that goes hand in hand with the food quality. In Newport, venues can charge a lot more than some random place in middle America, standard of living is much higher. My cousin had his wedding at a popular Connecticut venue in Farmington, cocktail hour, open bar, several courses, I believe theirs was between $125-$150 per plate. Everything costs more in this part of the country, just part of the deal...

For reference, I pay $5000 a year in property tax on a house valued at $200,000, plus about $1500 a year on 2 newer cars and a truck...this is CT life lol.

For grins, I went out on Wedding-spot.com and priced similar venues in coastal Rhode Island and in New Orleans. I came up with pretty comparable price ranges in the middle and at the top end, though there were fewer options for skipping certain aspects in the Rhode Island venues; in New Orleans the venues are much more willing to let you leave out things that you don't feel you need. (A Pasta course?) More of the RI venues also had exclusive caterers, and having worked in the industry, I can tell you that that practice is the single most important one in driving up wedding costs: when venues allow only one caterer to work there, competitive pricing disappears. Exclusive catering contracts are much more common on the East Coast than elsewhere in the US, where venues are much more likely to have multiple caterers available with a much greater range of price options, or allow you to simply rent the venue and use any caterer you wish, or none (there are some venues in New Orleans that list the minimum price for 50 guests as under $300 -- that's bare-bones venue-only pricing, where that price buys you an empty room, running water and electricity; everything else is up to you to bring in.)

Believe me, there are an awful lot of $200+/plate weddings held in New Orleans, but the concept of "covering your plate" is pretty much unheard of there. Price alone simply doesn't explain it. (New Orleans routinely lands on the best-known lists of "Top 25 Most Expensive Places to Hold a Wedding")

(Pricing structure does explain it to some extent, though. While it is true that the price of a lb. of prime rib is going to probably be higher in Rhode Island than in Louisiana, a decision by the venue to use only one caterer who chooses to offer ONLY prime rib as the only beef option is something else again. THAT is de-facto price fixing. If you can choose between a filet, a strip steak and 8 oz. of prime rib, you will have the option to change your cost and still serve beef.)

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It isn't about people getting more in those areas, and that being why the costs are higher, it is simply that things cost more in those areas so they have to pay more for comparable things. Venues would not be able to offer their services if they were not able to cover their costs including mortgage or rent, taxes, payroll, utilities, etc. and many of those things cost more in in higher COL areas, you don't have a choice. My husband's family is from about an hour NW of NYC and my family is from the Buffalo NY suburbs, the costs of a basic wedding in those areas, at similar venues, was drastically different because things cost less in Buffalo. It is not about willingness to pay more, things just cost more, that's the reality. My husband and I have moved around the US for different jobs quite a bit and costs for basically everything varies greatly between different places, moving from Texas to CA was shocking let me tell you, and we had previously lived in Washington DC so we shouldn't have been as shocked as we were, every time I go back to visit my mom in Buffalo I am shocked by the price of much of her produce as it is much higher than I am used to living in CA and even TX before that.

I fully understand what you're saying but be realistic here too. Businesses such that we're talking about aren't just breaking even on things. We're also talking I'm assuming on full fledged professional places not mom and pop type places that are just barely surviving. I think we all understand that places in so many different industries can charge more than they have to because they can. That is something that translates all over the places.

As far as willingness I'm not sure you're understanding what I'm meaning. People pay crazy high housing prices in my area at the moment because there's a housing shortage and people want a home to live in. As a generality if a house sits for too long without getting offers people reduce the price but there's little to no incentive to reduce a price when there's strong interest. The pricing structure in general in that area the PP was talking about started somewhere and I'm sure at this point everyone is so ingrained in paying higher amounts that it's just is the way it is. A random, but Disney example, is the first time they had the Disney After Hours event. It didn't sell at the price they started with thus they reduced the price, gave people free tickets, gave DVC members tickets, etc. If it had sold immediately at the price they wanted they wouldn't need to adjust it.

I know what you're saying believe me I just don't think it's as simple as COL. That would honestly be a bad business practice as a norm if someone was not considering what their clients are willing to pay and instead said "look I got a mortgage to pay". And like I said in my area competition works in our favor. Heck that's how we got U-Verse to get a higher tier internet package--Google Fiber started and forced the other companies to get competitive not only in costs but in products. It wasn't too long ago that Time Warner/Spectrum had a monopoly in my area (owning the outlets for example in apartments, being the only cable provider for a larger part of my area). Then U-Verse came along and drummed up competition. Then Time Warner got competitive and whenever we wanted our rates to go down when our contract was up with U-Verse we would say "well we're going to leave for Timer Warner" and suddenly we had a new discounted contract. Long-winded way of saying if there's a captive audience there's not much incentive there to look at costs if everyone is booking and paying the prices.

 

[aprilgail]

What the heck are they serving at these wedding that a plate cost $150 minimum? Please don't tell me chicken breast, and sides made to look fancy-lol!

As your Guests enter they will be Greeted with and Elegant Welcome of Champagne and Fresh Strawberries
Your Cocktail Hour

Your Guests will enjoy an Elaborate and Beautifully Decorated Cocktail Buffet as well as White Glove Butler Passed Hor D'oeuvres

Main Reception Table
Exotic Fruit Display, Artisan Bread Display, Country Cheese Basket and Fresh Vegetable Crudité

Butler Style Hot & Cold Hors D'oeuvres
Your selection of Hot & Cold Hors D'Oeuvres will be passed white glove Butler Style

Choose Eight Total

Cold Passed Hors D' oeuvres
Kalamata Olive Tapenade
Beef Rouladen, Herb Cheese*
Asparagus Prosciutto, Aged Balsamic
Sante Fe Chicken Salsa in Black Bean Cup
Smoked Salmon Mousse in Pastry Spoon
Bloody Mary Shooter
Scallop Ceviche Tasting Spoon*
Cold Seared Tuna, Sushi Rice*
Tomato & Basil Bruschetta
Nocellini Wrapped in Salami

Hot Passed Hors D' oeuvres
Clams Casino
Mini Croque Monsieur
Crispy Phyllo Wrapped Asparagus, Aioli
Mini Chesapeake Crab Cakes, Old Bay Sauce
Petite Black Angus Burgers, Caramelized Onions*
Beef Tenderloin in Brioche Bread, Fresh Mozzarella*
Truffle Scented Risotto Cakes with Sundried Tomato Tapenade
Scallops Wrapped in Bacon, Orange - Horseradish
Sesame Chicken Sate with Peanut Dipping Sauce
Potatoes Stuffed with Gorgonzola & Bacon
Mini Pulled Pork and Pepper Jack
Coconut Shrimp
Pesto and Goat Cheese Tartlet
Smoked Chicken Quesadillas
Pigs in Puff Pastry

Cocktail Service
Throughout your affair, we will provide unlimited Top Shelf Liquors, including Absolut Vodka, Tanqueray Gin, Bacardi Rum, Dewars White Label Scotch, Seagrams-7, Jack Daniels, Southern Comfort, Captain Morgan Rum, Malibu Coconut Rum, and Jose Cuervo Tequila. Chilled Champagne, (2) Draft Beers, Non-Alcoholic Beer, Chardonnay, Merlot, White Zinfandel and Pinot Grigio Wine, Soft Drinks and Juices. Special Requests and Upgraded Liquors are Available.

Our Professional Bartenders are Trained to Serve Responsibly. (This includes a “No Shot” Policy)
Additional Beer Selections $3.00 per person, per beer

Your Wedding Dinner
Champagne Toast

Appetizer
Choose One

Baked Long Island Stuffed Clams
Portobello Tower, Roasted Red Pepper, Fresh Mozzarella, Aged Balsamic
Seasonal Melon, Imported Prosciutto di Parma, Toasted Pignoli Nuts
Tortellini, Arugula, Oven Roasted Tomatoes
Roasted Vegetable Tartlet, Goat Cheese




Choose Four Stations

Steak House Station*
Carved Roast Beef Tenderloin
Carved Pork Steamship
Accoutrements:
Crispy Onions
Apple Compote
Peppercorn Sauce
Horseradish Cream
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Wedge Lettuce Salad, Smoked Bacon

Asian Station*
Thai Style Beef
Ginger Garlic Chicken
Lemon Grass Shrimp
Accoutrements:
Chop Sticks
Stir Fried Rice
Crisp Spring Rolls
Soba Noodle Salad

Trattoria Pasta Station
Tortelloni Quattro Formagio
Penne a la Vodka
Orechietter with Broccoli Rabe and Sweet Italian Sausage
Noccellini and Grape Tomato
Focaccia Bread

Seared Tuna Station*
Sashimi Crusted Tuna
Accoutrements:
Wasabi
Sushi Rice
Pickled Ginger
Crab & Cucumber Salad
Sesame Vinaigrette

Gourmet Mac & Cheese Station
Toppings: Bacon, Asparagus, Shrimp, Truffle
Sauces: Aged Cheddar, Pepper Jack, Fontina & Tomato Fondue

Smoke & Spice BBQ Station*
Carolina Style Mustard Chicken
St. Louis Style Pork Ribs
Lone Star Beef Brisket
Accoutrements:
BBQ Potato Chips
Cracklin' Cornbread
Country Collard Greens
Smoked Rosemary Walnuts
Lexington Style Red Cole Slaw

Meatball Tasting Station
Classic Beef
Spicy Pork
Vegetable
Sauces: Classic Tomato, Spicy Meat, Mushroom Gravy, Parmesan Cream

Mediterranean Station
Falafel
Hummus
Taboulah
Lamb & Chicken Kabobs
Yogurt Cucumber Salad
Baba Ganoush
Pita Crisp

Tuscan Panini Station
Prosciutto, Fresh Mozzarella and Basil
Roast Eggplant, Tomatoes and Peppers with Gorgonzala
Artichoke Hearts, Roasted Tomatoes and Wilted Baby Greens
Tuscan Bean Soup with Prosciutto
Tomato Bruschetta

Crepe Station
Shrimp & Cognac
Chicken & Asparagus
Grilled Vegetable & Smoked Gouda
Baby Greens Salad and White Balsamic Vinaigrette
Served with Fresh Baguette

Wedding Cake
We will supply a Custom Designed Four Tiered Wedding Cake with your choice of Filling such as:
Chocolate Mousse, Strawberry, Raspberry, Lemon, or Cannoli and your choice of Fresh Whipped Cream or Butter Cream Icing
Cookies & Pastries

Table Side Coffee Service
Freshly Brewed Colombian Coffee, Decaffeinated Coffee, Lipton and Herbal Teas

Also Included in Our Wedding Package
A personal Maitre'D, Bridal Attendant and Captain will ensure that every detail of your special day is perfect!

Exclusive use of our Bridal Suite for you and your Bridal Party

A Wedding Coordinator to help plan your reception

Directional Maps for your Wedding Invitations

A Choice of White or Ivory Linens

Place Cards for all your Guests

Valet Parking

Extra Hour
Includes open bar
$8 per person

Dessert Stations
Viennese Table
An elaborate and extensive display of Cakes, Tortes, Gourmet Cookies
Chocolate Dipped Fruit, Petit Fours, and French and Italian Pastries.
Exotic Coffee and Tea Service Included.
$9 per person

International Coffee & Cordial Bar
Espresso and Flavored Coffees, accompanied by a selection of fine Liquors including
Grand Marnier, Courvosier, Drambui, Sambuca Romano, Marie Brizard Anisette,
Kahlua, Bailey's Irish Cream, and Frangelico
$8 per person

French Quarter Flambé
Bananas Foster and Cherries Jubilee made to order and served over Vanilla Bean Ice Cream
$ 8 per person

Truffle Bar
Chocolate Truffles Rolled in your Favorite Toppings
$8 per person

Chocolate Fountain
Hot Cascading European Chocolate with Marshmallows and Fresh Fruit
Pineapple, Strawberry and Assorted Melons
$8 per person

Ice Cream Sundae Bar
With Assorted Toppings and Syrups
$8 per person

Candy Buffet
Customize Your Color Scheme
$6.50 per person

Elegant Enhancements
From the Sea*
Commodore Bourne's Seafood Bar*
Clams and Oysters Opened to Order by Professional Shuckers, Calamari Salad and
Bay Scallop Ceviche served with Cocktail, Mignonette and Remoulade Sauces
$12 per person
Great South Bay Clam & Oyster Bar Only $10 per person

Sushi*
Yellowfin Tuna, Spicy Tuna, California Roll, Dragon Roll, Salmon Sushi, Tuna Sushi,
Smoked Eel Sushi, Octopus Roll or create you own display.
Served with Cucumber & Crab Salad

Sushi Bar with Chef $18 per person
Sushi Display $15 per person
Sushi Butler Style $11 per person

Jumbo Shrimp Bar*
Includes Giant Clam Shell Sculpture
$10 per person

Jumbo Shrimp Cocktail*
Served Butler Style with Cocktail and Parisian Sauces
$7 per person

Seared Sesame Tuna Bar*
Wasabi, Pickled Ginger, Sushi Rice, Crab & Cucumber Salad
$9 per person

Cold Seafood Bar*
Cold Cracked Lobster, Jumbo Shrimp, Clams & Oysters on the Half Shell, Opened to Order

Served with a trio of Sauces: Mignette, Remoulade, and Cocktail

$38.50 per person

Elegant Enhancements
To Begin or Finish Your Affair
Meatball Tasting Station
Black Angus Meatballs
Herbed Chicken Meatballs
Pork and Veal Ricotta Meatballs
Served with your choice of:
Mushroom Gravy, Parmesan Cheese, Classic Tomato, Spicy Meat Sauce

$7.95 per person

Middle Eastern Bazaar
Israeli Falafel with Yogurt Cucumber Sauce
Hummus and Baba Ganoush with Pita Triangles
Rosemary Marinated Lamb and Chicken Kabobs served with Parsley Tahini Sauce
Mediterranean Taboulah Salad

$8.50 per person

Gourmet Macaroni & Cheese Feast
Piping Hot Corkscrew Pasta served with a Cheese Sauce of your choice:
Aged Cheddar, Pepper Jack, Fontina, and Tomato Fondue
Dress up with an array of tantalizing toppings:
Crispy Bacon, Roasted Asparagus and Grilled Shrimp

$10.50 per person

Mashed Potato Bar
Served in Martini Glasses with an Assortment of Toppings
$8 per person

Tapas Station
Chicken and Beef Fajitas made to order with Seasoned Sour Cream,
Black Bean Salsa, assortment of Ceviche and Tapas selections
$9 per person

Martini Station
Our Bartender will mix up the best Martinis from classic to cutting edge including:

Traditional, Cosmopolitan, Watermelon, Apple and Chocolate.
$7 per person - Cocktail Hour

Burger Bar*
Mini Burgers on Fresh Buns served with your choice of accompaniments:
Cheddar Cheese, Gorgonzola, Swiss Cheese, Bacon, Onions, Mushrooms
and your choice of sauces: Barbeque, Spicy Ketchup, Herbed Mayonnaise

Served with Lettuce and Tomato and Side of Crispy Waffle Fries

$6.95 per person

Midnight Snack Bar
(6 hour event only)
Grilled Cheese with shot glass of Tomato Soup
Tiny Assorted Pizzas
Pigs-in-a-Blanket
Mini Sliders*

$6.95 per person

Decadent Dessert
Brownies, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Ice Cream Sandwiches,
Chocolate Mousse Shooters, Cheesecake Martinis

$7.50 per person

Hot Pretzel Stand
Freshly Grilled Pretzels with Hot Cheese Dip

$4.50 per person

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

For grins, I went out on Wedding-spot.com and priced similar venues in coastal Rhode Island and in New Orleans. I came up with pretty comparable price ranges in the middle and at the top end, though there were fewer options for skipping certain aspects in the Rhode Island venues; in New Orleans the venues are much more willing to let you leave out things that you don't feel you need. (A Pasta course?) More of the RI venues also had exclusive caterers, and having worked in the industry, I can tell you that that practice is the single most important one in driving up wedding costs: when venues allow only one caterer to work there, competitive pricing disappears. Exclusive catering contracts are much more common on the East Coast than elsewhere in the US, where venues are much more likely to have multiple caterers available with a much greater range of price options, or allow you to simply rent the venue and use any caterer you wish, or none (there are some venues in New Orleans that list the minimum price for 50 guests as under $300 -- that's bare-bones venue-only pricing, where that price buys you an empty room, running water and electricity; everything else is up to you to bring in.)

Believe me, there are an awful lot of $200+/plate weddings held in New Orleans, but the concept of "covering your plate" is pretty much unheard of there. Price alone simply doesn't explain it.

I agree.

I'll be honest, from a guest perspective, the few wedding places I've been to that either used an in-house catering company or ones that said you can only use this catering company have not only had higher overall costs but not necessarily delivered in what you think you should get for the price you paid. But that's not indicative of the practice just my experience.

From our experience over 5 years ago there was a very good balance in places that had in-house or exclusive catering and ones that let you choose what you wanted. Our venue had a list of preferred vendors but she (the person who was the event person for the venue) was more than willing to work outside of that list. Her preferred list was because she had built up trust and repeat business over years and years with these companies but those companies were not exclusive by any means to the venue we chose. They were companies that did weddings all over the area. We did our cake at the same place as our food catering but that was because they reduced the price of the cake a bit (like bundling). Our venue (the bottom floor of a high rise office building downtown) was a place to get married at and have our reception but we chose our own catering company, our own bartender company, purchased our own alcohol, picked our own DJ, our own lighting company, our own linens company, our own chair covers (which also had bows for the chairs), etc.