So what's the one gift you DON'T want to see under the tree for you?

[Hiitsme]

Anything that needs to be fed or poops. That Starbucks card could be given to a local soup kitchen or food pantry. They could get some use out of it.

 

[Hook326]

Those bath/lotion gift sets that come out at Christmas. I don’t use bath gels or salts and the lotion isn’t very good quality usually.

 

[Lvsdisney]

The $10 GC to Starbucks that my ILs get my every year as my gift. I don't drink Starbucks, and they also do it to be hurtful (they spend hundreds/thousands of dollars on everyone else in the family and make a point to give me that $10 GC each year). I'd rather they get me nothing at all than something designed to make me upset.

Man! My ILs forgot about us one year and sent GC's a week after Xmas, but they're not spiteful. Sorry!!

 

[tink1970]

I agree, puppies are not presents. We just adopted this monster over the weekend. She was someone's Christmas present last year, obviously it didn't wor

She's beautiful, so glad you adopted her

 

[dosekies]

I agree, puppies are not presents. We just adopted this monster over the weekend. She was someone's Christmas present last year, obviously it didn't work out.

She. Is. ADORABLE!!!!!!

 

[agavegirl1]

Anything from my DH. We are terrible at shopping for each other so we buy one big gift to share and show people a picture of it. We bought our forever home and are fixing it up (four years now) so we have bought each other 1/2 a snow blower, 1/2 a miter saw and router with table, 1/2 a gas grill, 1/2 a table saw and various tools...you get the picture.

 

[OhMari]

Perfume. So allergic. I was at a Christmas craft store Open House this past Saturday and there were frangrance bottles. A lady sprays the bottle towards me, so she could sniff her nose daintily towards the spray. I could only laugh and I opened the front door, (we were in an old school house) and let a big old breeze in.

 

[LovesTimone]

The $10 GC to Starbucks that my ILs get my every year as my gift. I don't drink Starbucks, and they also do it to be hurtful (they spend hundreds/thousands of dollars on everyone else in the family and make a point to give me that $10 GC each year). I'd rather they get me nothing at all than something designed to make me upset.

Frist of all.... WOW.... and you need a big hug...and a helping portion of pixie dust....

Second of all..... where is your DH in all this? why would he allow his parents to treat his spouse in such a way... Have you talked to your DH about this and how hurtful it is for you. He needs to make a stand.... and man up.

My ex-husband mother was a nightmare MIL... she was not happy with his choice of me. Their tradition was opening Christmas present on Christmas eve, So after she gave me what looked like a night dress from the 1800...and was well used and a 2XL and back then I was a size 5... and a comment that is inappropriate for DIS, but the point was to keep us from having children. My ex-husband blew up right there, basically told his mother off and we left. Then she tried to act like it was a joke...but he wasn't buying it... that was the only Christmas we had with his family...He would take the gifts over for his brother's family, and we went to gift card for his mom...

Maybe you should give the IL's a 10 dollar Starbucks gift card this year... Or you could say thanks so much is a sugary sickening way, and make a big deal of it... ( I'm a southern girl and we are taught how to say things in the sweetest, meanest way possible) I'll save it for when we go to Disney, oh how thoughtful of you... oh look honey another Starbucks gift card, isn't that just wonderful... chin up, smile on...

 

[aprilchem]

Screeeetch! STOP. Wait a minute.

Are you serious? That is HORRIBLE!!
What does your spouse say????

Frist of all.... WOW.... and you need a big hug...and a helping portion of pixie dust....

Second of all..... where is your DH in all this? why would he allow his parents to treat his spouse in such a way... Have you talked to your DH about this and how hurtful it is for you. He needs to make a stand.... and man up.

DH and I have talked about it many times, and we decided together that the right choice to make in this situation is to accept the gift graciously and with kindness. In other words, we don't give them the reaction that they want, we model the mature behavior they aren't exhibiting, and we take the high road. In no way do I think that making a stand or throwing a fit would change their behavior in this particular situation - they will never admit they're in the wrong, so to start a fight about it wouldn't lead to things changing.

That's not to say, however, that we let them do this when it's something that's really important - when our children were small they started out showing that sort of favoritism with our eldest, and I immediately and permanently put a stop to that behavior in no uncertain terms. DH backed me up. If I saw that their behavior towards me was affecting our children I'd put a stop to it, but until then we've chosen the approach above.

 

[fifthdimensiondweller]

I can't think of one specific thing for me, but as a more general rule the one thing I hope not to get is "filler" gifts, like a few others have mentioned. I would honestly rather get just one gift that is something I'd really love than get that plus 5 little generic things just for the sake of having the same number of gifts for everyone under the tree. it makes me feel so bad to think of money wasted by loved ones on something I won't use. : /

Now that I think about it- another one is clothes (for the most part, I do have some friends and family who will pick out great Disney Ts for me on Etsy from time to time). I like getting clothes, but it's almost never a style I would wear and I'm pretty petite so most of the time the sizes just aren't anywhere close. Clothes are just tough to buy for anyone except kids I feel like.

 

[DisneyMandC]

Literally anything from my in-laws. I don't say that to be mean because I love my in-laws very much. However, they suffered a major medical crisis last year that left one of them permanently disabled. When my MIL asked what to get DH for Christmas, I tried the "nothing" route but she wouldn't have it. Finally I told her that we could go in together on a cheap gas grill for him so that she wouldn't have to spend more than $75. She showed up to our house for Christmas with the gas grill, a new set of pots and pans (literally no idea why, we didn't need pots and pans), and $200 in cash. I managed to sneak the cash back into her car before they left for the day, but I was seriously mad. This year I'm just flat out not telling her no gifts, period. I know it's how she wants to express her love for us, but I'm not allowing it at the expense of them later having medical bills pile up.

 

[wenrob]

Literally anything from my in-laws. I don't say that to be mean because I love my in-laws very much. However, they suffered a major medical crisis last year that left one of them permanently disabled. When my MIL asked what to get DH for Christmas, I tried the "nothing" route but she wouldn't have it. Finally I told her that we could go in together on a cheap gas grill for him so that she wouldn't have to spend more than $75. She showed up to our house for Christmas with the gas grill, a new set of pots and pans (literally no idea why, we didn't need pots and pans), and $200 in cash. I managed to sneak the cash back into her car before they left for the day, but I was seriously mad. This year I'm just flat out not telling her no gifts, period. I know it's how she wants to express her love for us, but I'm not allowing it at the expense of them later having medical bills pile up.

What about accepting so that you don’t hurt their feelings (or their pride), return on the sly and stash the cash? Then when they need it you can help?

 

[kymom99]

DH and I have talked about it many times, and we decided together that the right choice to make in this situation is to accept the gift graciously and with kindness. In other words, we don't give them the reaction that they want, we model the mature behavior they aren't exhibiting, and we take the high road. In no way do I think that making a stand or throwing a fit would change their behavior in this particular situation - they will never admit they're in the wrong, so to start a fight about it wouldn't lead to things changing.

That's not to say, however, that we let them do this when it's something that's really important - when our children were small they started out showing that sort of favoritism with our eldest, and I immediately and permanently put a stop to that behavior in no uncertain terms. DH backed me up. If I saw that their behavior towards me was affecting our children I'd put a stop to it, but until then we've chosen the approach above.

Now that I think about it, I used to get a small birthday gift form my inlaws, but her own kids got much bigger, nicer gifts. Then she started just giving her kids' spouses a card but kept giving her kids gifts. Now she can't afford to give anyone anything, except the younger grandkids.

 

[DisneyMandC]

What about accepting so that you don’t hurt their feelings (or their pride), return on the sly and stash the cash? Then when they need it you can help?

I wouldn't look them in the face and refuse to accept a gift a from them on Christmas morning and hurt their feelings, but I am hoping that by not telling her any gift ideas at all she will refrain from purchasing us anything (too large) at least. Then again, I have no idea where she got the pots and pans idea last year, so it may be wishful thinking on my part.

 

[MomToOne]

I hate to say it - but anything DD17 seems to get me. I am just always a little confused by the items she picks out - they aren't anything I would ever want! She's the sweetest thing, but ranks relatively high on the clueless scale.

This year I am trying to drop hints for a throw blanket at Target that I like and is in her price range. I'm hoping she'll pick up on the hints but I have a feeling she won't.

Oh well. I'll just put on my best Mommy smile and make a (good) fuss over whatever it is she gets me

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My in-laws still do stocking stuffers so while it's not exactly under the tree----we don't expect it (we're 29 and 28) but we know they like to do it.

The horrible candy they put into the stocking stuffers. I know they want the stockings to be fuller but some of the candy they buy is just gross.

Like this that has appeared in stockings for several years from father-in-law (he does give the same stuff to each of his chidren so it's not a personal thing):


I was raised big on 'it's the thought that counts' so it's not that we're not appreciative but really no one wants the above candy so it's just buying something that ends up in the trash unfortunately.

 

[arminnie]

Maybe you should give the IL's a 10 dollar Starbucks gift card this year...

How about a GC to KMart? Especially since they are basically closing most of their stores.

 

[nursejackie]

When I was a child the worst thing I could find under the tree was clothes!

 

[fla4fun]

There are only three of us in our immediate family, so we do a suggestion list every year. At least that way we know the item we are buying will be appreciated by the recipient. The lists are long enough that nothing on them is a sure thing, so there is still some spontaneity, and we try to provide things in all price levels. Sometimes we put something wildly expensive on the list, knowing we won’t get it, but just for fun.

The one thing I wouldn’t want under the tree on Christmas? Universal Studios tickets . . .

 

[superme80]

Tickets to Hamilton.