Would you let your 4th grader go?

[Magic Mom]

Some gifted students are very much book smart but lack the common sense part. If you have watched the television show Bones you would see that while Dr. Brennan is quite smart, she lacks some of the common sense and takes everything literally. I know about this as I have a child like this in the gifted program as well.

Then wouldn't it be easier just to say "my child has little common sense," instead of making the reader make the assumption that there is a correlation?

I have no idea if the OP's child has common sense or not. This was just a reply to the PP, not a comment about the child.

 

[Leajess99]

really, "A new Dis low...." or a taste of the truth that many can't handle. We do not live in a safe world and need to be very careful where we let our kids go without us. That does not mean living in a bubble, it means being "street wise" and keeping our kids/teens safe.

Just curious but do your kids go to school?? Do your kids play sports?? The reason I ask is that they could become victims anywhere at any time. Unfortunately they could be sitting in their room minding their own business and die because of a stray bullet (does not matter what area you live in). You are not guaranteed another day on this Earth and living in a bubble is not doing you or your fmily any good.

Rachel Scott was the first child to die at Columbine and her family has turned her tragedy into an organization to help spread kindness in schools. This young lady did nothing wrong but because she went to school that day she lost her life.

Seven Year old paige Dejean lost her life as she slept thanks to a stray bullet per http://www.wwltv.com/news/Seven-Year-Old-Murdered-in-River-Ridge-69525182.html. How could her family have protected her?? What not let her sleep in her bed?? What about 4 year old Marquel Peters who died while in church thanks to another stray bullet (http://jonathanturley.org/2010/01/0...ile-in-church-with-family-on-new-years-eve/)? What should his parents have done, not go to church??

You can try to protect your children but stuff does happen. It is quite sad but even with you things can happen. You can not protect your kids from every thing that happens in the world. Shoot, you could be driving down the road following all the rules and because of one driver you could lose your life or your family. We had a mother killed recently with her 13 year old child in the car because another driver was late getting to court and lost control.

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I didn't read through the responses, just the OP's post. This is my take. I think you are getting a little too bent out of shape over this. If you are that untrustworthy of the school staff and parents who are chaperoning then homeschool your child so that you can completely protect them from everything that makes you uncomfortable. That gives you the ability to take her on field trips that you deem are safe and don't have to worry about who is caring for her. I'm sorry if this seems harsh but you are being way too overprotective.

In 5th grade we went on a field trip to Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago - over 3 hrs from home and my parents had to pay for me to go. We left at 6am and didn't get back until 9pm. To this day that is still the best field trip I ever took in all my K-12 school years.

Stop worrying, let her go and have a good time. She'll love you for it.

 

[Jessica14]

I read about half the replies, so forgive me if this has been mentioned. There are very specific reasons why parents can not just go even if its a public place. I taught kindergarten and then second grade for about twelve years and I once had a Mom who was not a chaperone show up with her two other kids. She also told me she had a right to show up and was annoyed when I told her I couldn't take her along. I could only have a certain number of chaperones per the facility. What then happended was that her son was being pulled from his group to be with his family and Mom was now mixing her other two kids in with our class. So now my attention was on two additional children and my pupil who was drifting off. Yes, as a parent (I have two small kids myself) I understand that you want the ability to be everywhere with your child, but there are times when it can create chaos for the teacher, chaperones, and the other kids.

There are also liability issues. If one of the Mom's other kids had been injured at the facility, it would be on the school district. This was all explained to her and she said that she wouldn't sue. So really I appreciate every parents desire to protect their kids. Certainly, I have been called over protective on these boards, but there are reasons why every parent can't attend and its not to offend them or to hide anything. Its to create as much order during the day as possible. I myself didn't like taking the trips as they were very stressful for me. Extra people just would make it that much more difficult. I needed all my attention on my class so I could make sure they were safe at all times.

That said, I think your daughter should go, but if she's that anxious, I would look into the root cause of that (I was the same kind of kid, so I get it entirely and my Mom was at her wits end!).

Jessica

 

[tink15823]

My kids went to the Capitol in Harrisburg Pa last year about a 2 1/2 hour drive each way they loved it . They are learning and making memories with friends . Just this weekend talked to a friend about a 2ND grade trip we took and we have been out of school for 18 years. So its more than what they are learning as much as what they will bring back. Just a little word to the wise we did have a mother follow the bus with out the bus driver knowing it and he called the police .

 

[naholder]

I would let her go. You said there are 60 total in the 4th grade class with 12 total adults going. That mean that each adult would only get 5 students.
I understand the strictness of the rules. The school I work for has a fingerprinting policy for all volunteers. I am all for the safty of the students before the pride of the parents.

 

[heatherwillmom]

I really think it depends on the child. My oldest would have been a little nervous on a long field trip without me at age 9. However, my youngest would have been fine. Make sure that you know & trust the adults going with the group. Many times the adults stick together not always with the kids.

 

[mdsoccermom]

Truthfully, I've never known who the chaperones were on my kids' field trips. They don't advertise the names once the chaperones are chosen and I've never really felt the need to ask. And even if I did, then what? I don't know all the parents in my kids' classes. Chances are there will be parents I don't know chaperoning.

Like I said earlier, in putting my kids' in the school, I am putting my trust in the school. I have faith that my kids will come home from their field trips unscathed, even with the big, bad parent I don't know as a chaperone.

 

[dogluva]

I think calling a parent "helicopter parent" is insulting. The OP doesn't know the school staff well or the parents who will be in charge on the trip. Should she just trust them just because it's a fun trip? How is she supposed to know how this group will handle the situation if there is a problem? We can all say- it will be fine, let her go, but I have been on trips that did not go fine. As a young teacher, I was part of a field trip for 2,3, and 4th graders that was 5 hrs ways. I insisted that my students had a parent or the parents coordinated for a parent who was going to be in charge of their child. Most had a 1:1 ratio or 1:2 ratio. I had one parent who supervied 3 kids. The 2nd grade teacher did not and was 1:8. On the way home, one of the buses blew an engine- flames and a lot of smoke, but no immediate danger. So here we were on the side of the rode with 2 bus fulls of kids/adults and only on working bus. We ferried the kids to the nearest exit (by a McD's and a hotel) and had to wait 4 hours for another bus to come. My kids were safe and fed, but the 2nd grade teacher had real problems keep up with all those kids and not enough adults. We got home at 1am to a parking lot full of a lot of very worried parents who said their kids were never going on another trip without them. My students were fine, but sleepy.
I'm not trying to scare anyone, but my students and their parents knew me well and could trust me to handle unusual situations- not so mch with the other teacher.
OP- spend the next few months getting to know the school staff and parents who will be going. Then make your decision. If they are people who will handle you child well in a not so smooth situation, then let the child go.

I don't get why the parents with one on on couldn't have watched a kid or two for the teacher. Really? This seems very mean to both her and the kids. It wouldn't have killed anyone to feed and watch some of hers.

 

[dogluva]

19 is an adult. What are you talking about?

I seriously don't understand this either. My daughter is 18 and she is an adult. If she wanted to go over seas, how would I stop her? I wouldn't anyway.

My mother let my friend and I go to England by ourselves during our freshman winter break. She didn't give it a thought. No cell phones then either and we had a great time. I took buses and trains all over Wales and England. It was a trip of a life time that I planned and spent my own money on. My son is going to Spain for a semester in Jan. I know he will have a great time. Sure, I will worry like all parents do but he is an adult now and makes his own choices.

 

[nicki.momof3]

Unless we tell people the average person just see DD as being a little quirky. We don't make a big deal about her being on the spectrum bc 99% of the time it's not an issue. I only mentioned her being gifted to clarify that her issues are social and therefore the school provides no services and will make no special concessions.

You really need to spend less time working about a field trip and more time investigating your childs behavior and academic needs. If you child has a spectrum disorder (no matter if it is social only or not) it is clearly interfering with her access to a "regular educational experience" and therefore is legally guaranteed accomondations - she soulds like she needs an IEP with some one on one social work goals.

I would really look into it.

 

[dogluva]

Having walked up 7th (from the monuments area) after 10pm, I would just like to point out that DC isn't family friendly 24/7. Unless you want to teach your kids about prostitutes and the homeless.

I was just there with my eight grade daughter's school trip. We walked around at night. I did not find it scary in the least. Did not see one homeless or prostitute. But if we had, I think they would not have been scarred for life.

 

[Disfamoffour]

It's interesting to see the two divisive "schools of thought" regarding the OP's simple request for advice. I myself am an admitted over protective person but that stems from where I was raised. The world my children are growing up in is completely different than the one I did. My hunch is that the majority of "older" parents replying to this thread have different attitudes than "younger" parents.

 

[Erin1700]

I only read about 10 pages of this thread, but having a 9 yr old DD, I figured I should post.

I doubt we would let her go. (my DH isnt home but I am pretty sure he would say no).
Would we let her go on a trip an hour from home? yes.
This is just too far. Knowing my kid, she wouldnt want to go anyway.

So sign me up for flying lessons!

 

[jodifla]

Better than I do about many of you. I have no regrets about my parenting skills. I know I have always done everything that I can for my kids. I know I am a good parent. My kids are happy, healthy, & well-adjusted. I know there are times when parents can't go on trips, but if it was no problem for them to go and they chose not to, their kids didn't come first to them.

Sometimes being a good parent means not doing everything you can for your kids. Letting them branch out and find out they can problem solve without you and can survive without you being in arm's reach is an important independence skill.

 

[mdsoccermom]

Better than I do about many of you. I have no regrets about my parenting skills. I know I have always done everything that I can for my kids. I know I am a good parent. My kids are happy, healthy, & well-adjusted. I know there are times when parents can't go on trips, but if it was no problem for them to go and they chose not to, their kids didn't come first to them.

My kids do come first. Everything I do for or with them comes with the idea that I am enriching their lives and raising them to be strong, productive people. That's exactly why I don't go on field trips with them.

But, hey, tell yourself whatever helps you sleep at night.

 

[Planogirl]

All of this "I'm a better parent than you" bickering is interesting. All I can say is "prove it!"

Back to the OP's concerns. Kids need to learn to spread their wings and fly but gradually. If this is too big a leap for your child you should know but then you might want to get her to take baby steps. All kids need to learn how to be independent IMO.

 

[goodfood4ursoul]

It's interesting to see the two divisive "schools of thought" regarding the OP's simple request for advice. I myself am an admitted over protective person but that stems from where I was raised. The world my children are growing up in is completely different than the one I did. My hunch is that the majority of "older" parents replying to this thread have different attitudes than "younger" parents.

I agree about the different attitudes...

I can see this from the perspective of very involved parent
and also from the point of view of the school.

I have been a trained adult volunteer in a national youth camping program for 11 years.
Our locality spends 4 nights away at camp with about 200 kids ages 9 - 13 and 25 trained teen counselors, in addition to 25 permanent counselors at the campus.
All camp staff, both volunteer, (teen & adult) and professional,
have background checks done on them, for obvious reasons.
We used to have a family visitation night at camp.
When families wanted to come to family night, they had to register with our local office and pick up a wrist band for each member of their party.

When they arrived, some of our adult volunteers would man the camp gate
to be sure that only those who registered were allowed in.
The volunteers who did this were sheriffs
who teach a class at camp during our week ( they totally ROCK!!)

You would be surprised how many cars would arrive in line,
take a look at the officers manning the gate, then turn around
and drive 90 minutes back home rather than come face to face
with our friendly law enforcement. It was like 3 cars each year.
Why?
We can't be certain, but if they would hide from the law
do you want your kids exposed to them?

Once our visiting families get on campus and parked, we had to have two more adult volunteers sign them in and make sure that they went to the appropriate location to wait for talent show.
Parents are not allowed to wander willy-nilly all over campus,
remember, we do not do background checks on these folks.

Then, we have to take 2 professional staff and have them be
welcome ambassadors, answering questions from parents
who have driven 90 minutes to be there on a weeknight
and don't understand that they can't just eat dinner with their kid.
Nevermind they were told to eat before arriving,
camp cannot feed all these families.
Also, they were told they could watch the talent show,
but not spend private time with their child.

Now, let's say for arguement's sake that all the families who visit
are honest, law abiding citizens.
Even if every person was, we have a 1 to 5 supervision ratio too,
and we just had to pull 5 - 6 people away from
supervising your children so that we could supervise you.

And that is why we no longer have Family Night at camp.
Not to mention, it places your kids in the position of not knowing who to listen to for instruction.
Also, kids who are having a great time at camp
can suddenly develop a case of homesickness if they see their parents.
(sort of like the first day of Kindergarten when your kid stops crying the second you leave ) only in reverse.


When you give permission for your child to go on a field trip,
or to youth camp, you are giving over duty of care of your child to a
trained responsible person who is held extremely accountable for that care.

We have constant training and policies that are rigidly kept to protect
your child and to protect all of the kids.

So the policies exist to protect all the kids.

I can understand the frustration, though,
because as parents we do not like being told
that we cannot do something with our kids.
(I was not allowed to go with my son into Boys State registration and it irritated me and he is 17! )

It's your final choice whether you allow your child to go or not-
duty of care is yours to give or not.
You are the parent
Just know that they are not trying to thwart your authority,
they are trying to protect the kids.

For me it would be a money issue $80 is a lot for a field trip!!!

 

[powellrj]

My hunch is that the majority of "older" parents replying to this thread have different attitudes than "younger" parents.

Just what exactly is that suppose to mean?

 

[WebmasterDoc]

Great song, good beat, easy to dance to.

Thanks for playing.