Would You Have Taken Back The TV from Grandma?

[wenrob]

My mother has done some crazy, very un-grandma like things but I don't think even she would be so brazen as to come into my home and steal from my kids. Not only would I go and get my kid's TV I'd be banning grandma from visiting without advance permission. Your poor son but what a sweet boy for not fighting her.

 

[kuhltiffany]

Change the locks...

 

[Wishing on a star]

That is THEFT!!!!!
If she resisted it when I marched in to get MY tv that was in MY house.... I would have the authorities accompany me.

MY LOCKS WOULD BE CHANGED, AND THERE WOULD BE A VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD CONVERSATION ABOUT GRANDMA WITH MY SON AND MY DH/DW.

You do not OWE her a TV....
I would have bought her the nicest TV that I could find, if she truly needed the financial help to replace hers.
As a GIFT!!!
But I would def. be in no hurry to buy one now.

But, nobody, not even dear old grandma, walks in my house and commits theft.

 

[Domo]

Totally take it back.

 

[AnnieEMT]

Wow. We Grandmas tend to go without if it means our grandkids can have something special - I can't imagine actually stealing from any of them!! That's just horrible. And what a good son you have - even in the face of her utter disregard for him, he tried to be respectful & do the right thing!

 

[soccerdad72]

If she resisted it when I marched in to get MY tv that was in MY house.... I would have the authorities accompany me.

I think bringing police into a situation like this is a bit extreme, IMO.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, it would very much be an extreme.....
Just throwing out some extreme/expressive language. I am good at that
The OP did get the TV back. And posted to open it up for 'discussion'.
But, that is THEFT.
If grandma/mil didn't return the TV, there might be some extreme consequences....
If I had to verbalize that possibility in order to get the TV back, and/or to get my DH/DW onboard with getting the TV back, then I might consider it.

And, yes, assuming that this woman might have a key...
My locks would already be changed.

I am sitting here wondering where the DH/DW, assuming he is in the picture, stands on all of this.
That is the real kicker....
OP said that they went to MIL's house to get the TV.... No mention of the DH/DW being there to help address the situation with their mother.

 

[punkin]

Does the woman have any cognitive issues? I have no other reasonable explanation. You did the right thing taking the TV back, but if she truly can't afford a new TV, I would probably swallow my anger and get one for her.

 

[soccerdad72]

I am sitting here wondering where her DH, assuming he is in the picture, stands on all of this.
That is the real kicker....
It says SHE went to her MIL's house to get the TV.... No mention of her husband being there to help address the situation with his mother.

If I read the OP correctly, the son was the only one home at the time, neither parent was there.

 

[ronandannette]

I think bringing police into a situation like this is a bit extreme, IMO.

And totally unnecessary. Like hunting a mosquito with a shotgun. The OP handled things in a very straight-forward and dignified way. It's dumb ideas like "call the police"(or even threatening to call them) that start wars in families when simply standing up for yourself in a calm and decisive manner is sufficient.

 

[tvguy]

I can't imagine any one, relative or not, taking something without asking first.
Don't flame me, but if she can't afford $70 for a basic new TV at Walmart, she needs to look at her budget.

 

[DopeyDame]

45 votes so far and it's unanimous. It sounds like you handled it just as well as anyone possibly could.
And huge kudos to your son for being respectful to grandma - even when she clearly didn't deserve it. What a sweet boy he must be.

 

[piccolopat]

You did the right thing. Your MIL basically stole the TV from her grandson and that is never acceptable. Not having a TV is an inconvenience, nothing more. You don't say how big your son's TV is but if she got two helpers I would guess it is a good size. You also don't say if she paid these helpers to take the TV and then install it in her home (assuming she wouldn't know how to hook it up) but if so she could have put that money towards buying a new one. You know more than we do if money is really an issue with your MIL. Sometimes people say they can't afford something but really the issue is that they simply prioritize other wants rather than not having money after their true needs are met. It was nice for you to offer to help get her a new TV. What was her response?

 

[Wishing on a star]

If I read the OP correctly, the son was the only one home at the time, neither parent was there.

Of course I know this....
But, just because the other parent was not home at that time does not mean that they have no involvement in the situation.
Especially since it involves their mother.

The OP simply refers to her as 'grandma', but then, only once, types mother-in-law. Which indicates that it is not her mother.

Hopefully they are both onboard with taking the TV back.
This whole thread is about 'would you take the TV back.
But, I find it interesting that the OP did not mention the other parent. The one who it is their own mother.

I wonder if there has been any disagreement between the two, and if the OP might have posted this to see which side (take it / don't take it) might be right.

 

[soccerdad72]

Of course I know this....
But, just because the other parent was not home at that time does not mean that they have no involvement in the situation.
Especially since it involves their mother.

Hopefully they are both onboard with taking the TV back.
This whole thread is about 'would you take the TV back.
But, I find it interesting that the OP did not mention the other parent. The one who it is their own mother.

I wonder if there has been any disagreement between the two, and if the OP might have posted this to see which side (take it / don't take it) might be right.

How you've managed to turn this thread into a marital issue, I have no idea???

 

[Wishing on a star]

In-law issues ARE marital issues.
If there is agreement, then good!
If there is disagreement between a husband and a wife, then yes, wouldn't that be a personal 'marital' issue with them.
Pretty much by definition.

 

[loves to dive]

No way would she have kept it. After I had strong words with her about actually letting herself into my home (I don't care if it's my mom or his mom, unless you are invited or it's an emergency, you don't just let yourself into my home) then I'd have strong words with her about taking the TV, then I'd have strong words with my husband about his mother's actions and I might even have strong words with anyone else walking by at the moment.

 

[diznygirl]

How you've managed to turn this thread into a marital issue, I have no idea???

It's her thing. Just ignore it.



OP - you handled it very well. I hope grandma learned her lesson about this. Serms the DIS is in agreement about this one.

 

[wenrob]

Does the woman have any cognitive issues? I have no other reasonable explanation. You did the right thing taking the TV back, but if she truly can't afford a new TV, I would probably swallow my anger and get one for her.

She had the presence of mind to bring helpers and explain to her grandson why she felt justified in stealing his TV. In my experience with dementia it doesn't work that way. Seems she would have "snapped to" at some point during this. I could be totally off base but this doesn't sound (by what was described ) like a cognitive issue to me.

How you've managed to turn this thread into a marital issue, I have no idea???

Heh, just do a forum search.

 

[fly girl]

Dang, grandma was a thug! And she knew the grandson was a sweet boy so she took advantage of him.

I'm glad you took it back. Wrong on so many levels.