off2disney
<font color=teal>When I try to sing with the radio
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2003
lmj, I know that one thing has lead to another, and tempers have escalated until it's like a war zone at your house. My first (and ex)husband would always get mad and belligerant when he felt like he being wronged, and most of the time he was in the wrong. His theary was that a good defense was a good offence. He never remembered birthdays or holidays either (but he was a womanizing cheat, so the less said about him the better).
My boyfriend (after the ex-husband) grew up during very hard times in the depression when his mom raised 6 kids alone after his dad ran off. They didn't make a big deal out of birthdays and Christmas because they couldn't afford it, and he doesn't to this day go in for a lot of that. In fact, he's another "bah, humbug!). In 21 years I can't remember ever getting a birthday card from him and I usually buy my own Christmas present and either put it under the tree, or tell him what he got me. He always says he doesn't want anything for Christmas, but I always buy for him, and he's tickled with what he gets.
He'd have a heart attack before he'd spend money on flowers....but sometimes I'll come in from work late at night and he'd have picked a bouquet of camillias from his friend's yard. He'd put them in a mason jar and leave them for me on the kitchen table. He's grouchy, tight-fisted and a scrooge..... but you couldn't melt him and pour him on another woman. So when I get mad or irritated with him, I back off and remember that.
In this day and age, ten years of marriage is something to be proud of--there had to have been something there to last this long. After ten years, it doesn't seem like he's going to change...so maybe you have to change. Laugh it off instead of getting hurt and mad....it might not help but it will sure confuse the hell out of him, anyway!
My boyfriend (after the ex-husband) grew up during very hard times in the depression when his mom raised 6 kids alone after his dad ran off. They didn't make a big deal out of birthdays and Christmas because they couldn't afford it, and he doesn't to this day go in for a lot of that. In fact, he's another "bah, humbug!). In 21 years I can't remember ever getting a birthday card from him and I usually buy my own Christmas present and either put it under the tree, or tell him what he got me. He always says he doesn't want anything for Christmas, but I always buy for him, and he's tickled with what he gets.
He'd have a heart attack before he'd spend money on flowers....but sometimes I'll come in from work late at night and he'd have picked a bouquet of camillias from his friend's yard. He'd put them in a mason jar and leave them for me on the kitchen table. He's grouchy, tight-fisted and a scrooge..... but you couldn't melt him and pour him on another woman. So when I get mad or irritated with him, I back off and remember that.
In this day and age, ten years of marriage is something to be proud of--there had to have been something there to last this long. After ten years, it doesn't seem like he's going to change...so maybe you have to change. Laugh it off instead of getting hurt and mad....it might not help but it will sure confuse the hell out of him, anyway!