Time Limit on Extreme Picky Eating? Does It Ever Go Away?

[Southernmiss]

It was always my philosophy that if I let them dress themselves as children, then they would be less likely to dress goth or other out there clothing as teens.

It worked!

Middle ds put his own Velcro closure shoes on the wrong feet as a three year old for a long time. He said they were more comfortable that way. He was my kid who dressed to be comfortable all the time.

 

[wgeo]

Well my oldest ate anything we gave him and mostly still does. He'll try anything once, but there are a few things he just really really doesn't like - bananas and onions for example. Ok fine. The youngest is the most easy going person ever except with food. She doesn't have a texture or any type of autism issue, she's just one of those old fashioned - I wanna eat kid junk food kids. However, she's almost 13 and within maybe the past 6 months or so I've noticed that when I put something on her plate and tell her she has to try one bite, more and more she's eating 2 or 3 bites. In restaurants she's starting to eat combinations of things I never would have imagined. So I think's she starting to outgrow her pickiness and that is fun to see.

As far as clothes - the oldest (kid that would eat anything) went thru a phase where he only wanted to wear one t-shrit to school - NO MATTER WHAT lol. Took some time to figure out that what he loved was the bright orange color of the shirt, so we compromised and went to the store and got a few similar shirts, some of them even with long sleeves!! and he wore those. He had 2 short sleeve and 2 long sleeve shirts he would wear and that is honestly the only things he wore the entire school year. Fine by me. Even to this day - he doesn't like clothes, pretty picky about how they feel on him. We work together to find what he likes and he wears the same thing over and over. Although by 14 he is now able to "suck it up" and put on something he hates for a few hours (like pants with buttons to go to the school dance).

 

[okeydokey]

I’ll do this. DS doesn’t like baked or mashed potatoes but he’ll eat roasted. It’s no big deal for me to cut up a half potato, spray it with olive oil and roast it instead or make two veggies etc.


Eh, you don’t fight them about it. With young kids you have to pick your battles.

Yes, pick your battles, especially of young step children you have only known for a few months. How often are they with you and your husband? It will take some time to get into regular routines with them, but eventually they will understand your expectations. Enjoy them, it’s an exhausting but fun age.

 

[jevs]

My eldest DS was an extreme picky eater as a toddler and young child, he started trying new things when he hit 13 so thankfully he has grown out of it.

 

[Skippy918]

My dh is picky and so are the kids. It makes meal planning really hard. Dh admits he has texture issues and that his mom was a bad cook so he doesn’t like most things. The only veggies he will eat are cooked carrots, potatoes and corn on the cob. He doesn’t like many condiments either. Burgers need to be plain and dry with only cheese. He won’t eat salsa or guacamole or hummus. Seafood is also not on his list. The kids do have one up on dh in that they like their fruits and most veggies. But they’ve also done the I don’t like this item even when I made it before and they liked it.
I always wondered if dh was an adventurous eater like me if the kids would have been less picky. I eat just about anything. At least I can get my adventurous food fix at lunch with my coworkers.

 

[amberpi]

Eh, you don’t fight them about it. With young kids you have to pick your battles.

I’m not fighting with them about what they wear, just that it involves pants/shorts on the boy child (I don’t fight that battle at home though, if the kid doesn’t want pants, whatever) and appropriate footwear, etc. basic stuff so they can be in public/or according to school rules. I’m not getting fancy; just shooting for appropriate and like I said, hopefully clean, but I’ll give on that.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Well, I'm picky in my 50's, but not as picky as I was as a young kid...I will eat anything that swims (except scallops, which I'm oddly sensitive to; my tongue swells.

Me too!! I loved them most of my life. The first time I had them after DS was born, I got sick - thought I just got a bad one and tried again a few weeks later, and the same thing happened. It's just with scallops, too; other seafood is fine. Apparently the hormonal changes of pregnancy messed with my immune system and I developed an...allergy?/intolerance?/something.

 

[amberpi]

Yes, pick your battles, especially of young step children you have only known for a few months. How often are they with you and your husband? It will take some time to get into regular routines with them, but eventually they will understand your expectations. Enjoy them, it’s an exhausting but fun age.

The pick your battles is good advice and something I try to consider almost every day we have them. 50/50 custody. It is exhausting but they’re adorable. I’ve said before I didn’t know my heart could hold so much love for this little family. It’s great. The clothing thing has apparently been a thing since way before I came on the scene, but that’s a small thing.

 

[Hisgirl]

This has been a fascinating thread. It opened my eyes to a few things. First, many people experience extreme reactions to the texture of food and develop strong preferences for a very limited selection of foods. And it may never change over time. Someone, told me to stop worrying or something to that effect, and I'm not worrying. Never once said that. Am I concerned she is getting the right amount of food vitamins and minerals and proteins to avoid health issues? Yes, I always have been concerned about this. I love her very much. I started the thread to learn more about food preferences in picky eaters and how that developed over time into adulthood.

Thanks for all of your input!

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

I agree with those who are saying that her extreme pickiness is probably tied to some deeper texture issues. My son is on the autism spectrum and I work with special needs kids. I regularly see kids gag when they are forced to try textures that they are not comfortable with. We're talking having a kid who will only eat crispy, crunchy foods try to eat something that is soggy, like cooked spaghetti. They gag as soon as the food is in their mouth, and the gagging is genuine. I once witnessed a boy throw up because he was pushed to eat a french fry. I have texture issues myself--I can't tolerate stringy textures like most meats, celery, bell peppers, dried apricots, etc. She can work with a therapist to try to expand her palate, but it's going to take a lot of work.

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

I'm sure it's different for different kids, but our old babysitter used to get new kids who "didn't eat such and such" or only drank chocolate milk or only ate chicken nuggets and Mac 'n Cheese. She told them up front that she didn't serve chocolate milk or chicken nuggets. Within a week usually, every child was eating grilled chicken, salad, broccoli, etc. The parents would always be astonished and ask her how she did it. She would just shrug and say, they eat what I fix or go hungry until snack time. Clearly, these situations were parenting problems, not necessarily picky eaters. The children continued their picky eating at home, but ate whatever the babysitter cooked. I really couldn't say whether she has had a kid with sensory issues or not, but it sure works with all the kids she has ever had.

 

[EveDallas]

Yep, and I'm pretty sweet on the whole package.
The food thing, we've got on lock. Getting a toddler to understand he can't wear his rainboots to school because he falls down in them is a mess; or that his daughter can't wear the blue unicorn dress (she has a weeks worth of unicorn clothes) which I didn't wash or know to wash 2 days in a row. That is a struggle. We try to get the clothes picked out when we are picking out pjs at night, but half the time it doesn't work come morning.

Aren't the kids really young still? I wouldn't be quite so quick to pat myself on the back.

 

[disneymom3]

Yep, and I'm pretty sweet on the whole package.

Now if you veteran parents want to give me some knowledge on how to not fight with the kids on what to wear to school, I'd love to hear that. The food thing, we've got on lock. Getting a toddler to understand he can't wear his rainboots to school because he falls down in them is a mess; or that his daughter can't wear the blue unicorn dress (she has a weeks worth of unicorn clothes) which I didn't wash or know to wash 2 days in a row. That is a struggle. We try to get the clothes picked out when we are picking out pjs at night, but half the time it doesn't work come morning.

Well, good on you turning into a parenting expert so quickly. "Lock" on the issue of food. Impressive. My children are 16-21 and I am pretty sure I don't have a lock on anything.

For the clothes--you put out two shirts. One red, one blue or whatever. The right weight etc for the weather. Ask them "Do you want the red shirt or the blue shirt today?" They pick the green one, "That's not a choice today. Red or blue?" Now your choice if they don't come around is to deal with the full on tantrum and ignore it, figure out a way to compromise and decide for the next day if you are going to go through that again or if you really don't care all that much what they leave the house in. Just make sure that in the winter, all shorts and sundresses disappear from their rooms.

 

[goofyernmost]

I am 74 years old. I have never eaten a salad. Only veg is corn. Never tasted pizza or Italian food. No Mexican. Only eat a few American foods. Have never tasted coffee.only potato is FF.

I find that sad. 74 and there are so many wonderful things that you have deprived yourself of experiencing. I have a grandson like you... won't eat a salad, only chicken strips, mac & cheese, occasionally a small piece of steak, only mash potatoes, won't drink water unless it is directly from a bottle, but, will drink soda. Anything sweet is far game. Mexican... Taco's only. Italian... spaghetti and meat balls but doesn't like hamburger (same thing). I ask him which life he intends to enjoy.

All of us have certain foods that we won't eat, but, we can acknowledge that they probably are good. Things like clams, oysters, certain seafood that we have some bad memory of. For me that has always been Salmon. But, I know why, when I was small my mother used to make Salmon wiggle with canned salmon. Back then they kept the small spinal bones in and they were crunchy but edible, they tell me. After I bit into a few of those, I decided that I no longer would eat Salmon. I even know that a good Salmon Fillet is not what my mother was serving and it probably is quite good, but, nope, not gonna do it. However, I have never refused something without trying it. Everything from head cheese, to blood sausage, to frog legs to pigs ears. Maybe never ate them again, but, I at least gave them a try.

 

[ronandannette]

Just checking in to see how many DIS kids have exceptional diets and discerning palates

Mine did (no really, he did ) for a while, anyway. I was home with him full-time in the early years. I did a ton of adventurous cooking and had a great love for the celebrity chef shows on the early advent of the Food Network. As a pre-schooler he could chat about things like "flavour profiles" and which dishes belonged to what types of ethnic cuisines. He was very accepting of all types of food, despite having a very modest appetite. He was always an incredibly small kid; short and underweight all his life but I was very pleased with his diverse and healthy diet and seemingly so was he. One of my sweetest memories is of a family cruise when he was about 9 - it was a major treat for him to be able to peruse the menu and order several different dishes to try during each course. It caught the attention of the maitre'd who came over one night to help him read the names of some of the dishes and had a great discussion with him.

Then...he went to high school. He had a part-time job and plenty of spending money, as well as the freedom to come and go from campus as he pleased. Within months he developed a raging junk food habit that rapidly changed his palate. He started gaining weight for the first time in his life and he liked that. By the end of his grade 10 year he was pretty much existing on pizza, McDonald's, chips, movie popcorn, chocolate bars and Red Bull. (Before anyone asks, no, this type of food wasn't ever forbidden to him before. We ate our share of take-out and snacks were pretty much always around in moderation.)

Now at 21, he'd rather have a bowl of sugary-crap cereal than sit down to a home-cooked meal. He's still always up for something exotic or upscale when we go out - if we're paying, of course. But on a day to day basis his eating habits have gone right to heck and it makes me a little sad.

 

[debster812]

DS was fairly picky, and around age 11 or 12 he was showing signs of starting to snap out of it. Then he got a major kick start. Overnight sports camps. He would go with his team to a couple of weeks of residential soccer camps, and between being ravenous from all the activity, and eating what was made that day, it forced him to try new things.

The next big push was going to college. So far his dining halls have been decent, and he’s got a big group of teammates who are also international, so he’s being exposed to all manner of food/cuisine.

Clothes? As long as it’s OK for the weather and safe for whatever environment he was in, he chose his own clothes from the time he was about 3. I do bless one sister in law who advised me (and gave me a TON of hand me downs) to buy lots of nuetral colors, so even when he chose everything himself, it was almost presentable.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

The pick your battles is good advice and something I try to consider almost every day we have them. 50/50 custody. It is exhausting but they’re adorable. I’ve said before I didn’t know my heart could hold so much love for this little family. It’s great. The clothing thing has apparently been a thing since way before I came on the scene, but that’s a small thing.

It sounds to me like you're doing a great job loving & taking care of your step kids. I'm impressed by your recent transformation. Love will do that. Good for you.

 

[jevs]

Just checking in to see how many DIS kids have exceptional diets and discerning palates

My DS12 does which is awesome, he’ll try ANYTHING at least once. Like Netts, on cruises we’ll eat in the dining room and he’ll order different foods to try. We haven’t used a kids menu for years, thankfully.

 

[Skippy918]

My DS12 does which is awesome, he’ll try ANYTHING at least once. Like Netts, on cruises we’ll eat in the dining room and he’ll order different foods to try. We haven’t used a kids menu for years, thankfully.

I thought my kids would be adventurous eaters on the cruise, but no. They ended up eating what they were comfortable with. I just wish they would be more inclined to try something new without psyching themselves up beforehand thinking it’s going to be yucky.

 

[eileenjez]

I don't know how I did it since I am the picky eater but my youngest DD would eat a raw onion like an apple in the shopping cart when she was little. Both of my girls would eat broccoli, Brussel sprouts, cauliflower and any other veg I would cook. When they would go over to their grandmother's house she would give them sauerkraut. I was not a good example cause I wouldn't touch any on these. When I was little I wouldn't go near a cooked carrot, now I ask for them when out for dinner.