Time Limit on Extreme Picky Eating? Does It Ever Go Away?

[amberpi]

From my experience as a child you may want to consider switching that thinking up a bit.
As a child on Friday's during lent we had a fish fry.
I absolutely hated it a dreaded eating.
As an adult I absolutely refuse to touch seafood. Perhaps if it wasn't forced on me I would have grown to appreciate it as an adult.
Same goes for a number of veggies forced on me as a child. I have not eaten squash or carrots since I was 10 and I likely never will.
On the other side things I was not forced into but didn't care for as a child I love as an adult.
The key is to find healthy foods that the kids do like as a child and then those healthy habits will expand into other foods as they get older.

They have to try things, but as I noted they aren't forced to eat stuff they've tried a few times and expressed real dislike of; which is why I said there is always 1 tried and true dish with every meal. I will put some of everything on their plates though, in case they change their minds. We're not "clean plate" people, but we're not short order cooks either. I think I've cut up more strawberries since I've been in their lives than in the entirety of my life altogether.

 

[okeydokey]

M 17 year old is a picky eater. He tastes foods more deeply than most people. He knows without looking that the Land O Lakes American Cheese I bought this week is different than the Boars Head American Cheese I bought last week. I don't get in power struggles over food with him. I would never force him to sit and eat scallops if he doesn't want to. I do expect him to eat a little of some protein, some carbs and some kind of fruit/veggie at dinner most nights. He is very thin and has a light appetite.

He will try new things occasionally but really at this point he is in charge of his own health and decisions.

 

[Seahorse17]

My mother always made me a hamburger for dinner when I came home from school. She never complained about making 2 different dinners. When we went on picnic's she made sure I had my chipped ham from Islay's sandwich. I eat no other deli meat. The end I have nothing more to say.

 

[CeruleanMoon]

Yesterday, we had a family dinner for Mother's day.

I have a niece (does anybody else misspell niece EVERY SINGLE TIME? )

When she was a toddler, she was a picky eater to the extreme. I think there were 5 foods she would eat and nothing else.

It continued into her school years, then her teen years....and now, she is 19 and nothing has changed.

We had a huge spread for lunch with many summer foods to choose from and she had 5 pieces of plain pasta, no topping, no sauce, no cheese. Just 5 noodles.

For thanksgiving, she will eat a roll. At restaurants, she will ask for a dish of plain pasta...nothing else.

Has anyone experienced extreme picky eating to this degree and does it ever pass? How does an extreme picky eater go on to have children and feed them healthy foods?

I'm just curious what others have seen with this.

Going back to your original story, OP, I'd be less inclined to call her a "picky eater" and more likely to think there's some kind of issue going on. The fact that she took only 5 pieces of pasta, or only a single roll (not nearly enough to keep a person from feeling hungry) seems odd to me. It's one thing to only like a few foods, but it's quite another to take a food you will eat and only eat a tiny amount of it. Unfortunately, I'm not sure there's anything you can do for her, but I understand your concern.

 

[loves to dive]

My honey won't eat any vegetables, won't eat anything if it's been near an onion, the only fruits he will eat is grapes and watermelon and he is 48.

 

[Hikergirl]

They have to try things, but as I noted they aren't forced to eat stuff they've tried a few times and expressed real dislike of; which is why I said there is always 1 tried and true dish with every meal. I will put some of everything on their plates though, in case they change their minds. We're not "clean plate" people, but we're not short order cooks either. I think I've cut up more strawberries since I've been in their lives than in the entirety of my life altogether.

When mine were younger, I just always made sure I had something I knew my picky eater would eat. I definitely didn't cook separate meals for him, but it was pretty easy to prepare something using what I was preparing anyway. Like if he didn't want the chicken because it was marinated or seasoned with something, I'd just throw a plain one on the grill. If it was something where I couldn't do that, he was free to make himself a sandwich for dinner. I grew up fighting food battles and I wasn't going to do that to my own kids, I was ok with them going without dinner if they chose that themselves, or them making something they wanted. The only battle was getting them to clean up their mess in the kitchen
To be fair, my ds's pickiness could have come from the fact that he has multiple food allergies . I have always had to watch what I made for him anyway due to those but thankfully now that he is older he can tolerate things (like soy, and sesame, which I tend to use alot) so that isn't an issue anymore. There are things I avoid totally for any meal because he does have a severe tree nut allergy.
He's pretty much grown out of his pickiness, which is nice because we have always been the type of family to try all kinds of foods.

I was unaware that you got yourself a whole family along with your new husband, congrats!

 

[amberpi]

.
I was unaware that you got yourself a whole family along with your new husband, congrats!

Yep, and I'm pretty sweet on the whole package.

Now if you veteran parents want to give me some knowledge on how to not fight with the kids on what to wear to school, I'd love to hear that. The food thing, we've got on lock. Getting a toddler to understand he can't wear his rainboots to school because he falls down in them is a mess; or that his daughter can't wear the blue unicorn dress (she has a weeks worth of unicorn clothes) which I didn't wash or know to wash 2 days in a row. That is a struggle. We try to get the clothes picked out when we are picking out pjs at night, but half the time it doesn't work come morning.

 

[mjkacmom]

Yep, and I'm pretty sweet on the whole package.

Now if you veteran parents want to give me some knowledge on how to not fight with the kids on what to wear to school, I'd love to hear that. The food thing, we've got on lock. Getting a toddler to understand he can't wear his rainboots to school because he falls down in them is a mess; or that his daughter can't wear the blue unicorn dress (she has a weeks worth of unicorn clothes) which I didn't wash or know to wash 2 days in a row. That is a struggle. We try to get the clothes picked out when we are picking out pjs at night, but half the time it doesn't work come morning.

I never really fought them much over clothing. If they were dressed weird, I figured most would understand I didn’t pick out the outfit. One trick is to give two or three options, so they still get a choice.

 

[Hikergirl]

Yep, and I'm pretty sweet on the whole package.

Now if you veteran parents want to give me some knowledge on how to not fight with the kids on what to wear to school, I'd love to hear that. The food thing, we've got on lock. Getting a toddler to understand he can't wear his rainboots to school because he falls down in them is a mess; or that his daughter can't wear the blue unicorn dress (she has a weeks worth of unicorn clothes) which I didn't wash or know to wash 2 days in a row. That is a struggle. We try to get the clothes picked out when we are picking out pjs at night, but half the time it doesn't work come morning.

I don't remember having too many battles over clothing, but by the third one I didn't care if he left the house in PJ's as long as his teeth were brushed

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Just checking in to see how many DIS kids have exceptional diets and discerning palates

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Ah, I'm very new to this parenting game, and my husband and I are terrible tyrants, but we just don't give his small children those kind of choices. Yes, we'll have mac and cheese along with whatever else we're having, but if we're having scallops for dinner, so are the children. At 19 I know it's far too late to enforce such a policy, but seriously, what is this young lady going to do at cocktail parties, while dating, or if she had to entertain clients?

Scallops really? I wouldn't make anyone, child or not, eat something with such a strong flavor profile (ie. seafood)... TRY yes... Eat as a meal, no.

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

Yep, and I'm pretty sweet on the whole package.

Now if you veteran parents want to give me some knowledge on how to not fight with the kids on what to wear to school, I'd love to hear that. The food thing, we've got on lock. Getting a toddler to understand he can't wear his rainboots to school because he falls down in them is a mess; or that his daughter can't wear the blue unicorn dress (she has a weeks worth of unicorn clothes) which I didn't wash or know to wash 2 days in a row. That is a struggle. We try to get the clothes picked out when we are picking out pjs at night, but half the time it doesn't work come morning.

Don't fight the small details. Let them wear what they want as long as they are decent and weather appropriate.

 

[prprincess]

I have a picky eater, and reading through this thread is discouraging me. Only because I used to be one myself, but the older I got the more adventurous I got, so I figured my DS2 would outgrow it like I did. We try to be patient, but it's frustrating at times...especially when eating out or making reservations when we're on vacation.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Don't fight the small details. Let them wear what they want as long as they are decent and weather appropriate.

Yep. This is how we do it as well. I want them to be confident in what they're wearing.

 

[mom2rtk]

Unfortunately, my first was a great eater, slept through the night at 6 weeks, only cried when she was hungry or wet, spoke very early... The next baby really put me in my place! By the time we got to #5, I respected the power of nature over nurture!

It's kind of humbling, isn't it?

 

[mjkacmom]

It's kind of humbling, isn't it?

Oh it is! My first 2 were very independent and outgoing, I actually thought it was the fault of the parents if their kids were clingy. My third was attached to me for years (you know, that kid at the birthday party on mom’s lap, hugging mom’s leg on the playground, bursting into tears all of the time at preschool gymnastics class...). Number 4 was the same way, her twin was the total opposite (which was great, I just had to chase 1 of them).

 

[NotUrsula]

Well, I'm picky in my 50's, but not as picky as I was as a young kid. However, I've always eaten a whole lot of things that a lot of people find nasty: I love liver and other organ meats, I'm fond of pickled beets, I will eat anything that swims (except scallops, which I'm oddly sensitive to; my tongue swells.) I'd love to eat quinoa, but I can't; it makes me ill every time I try, no matter how perfectly washed it is.

A LOT of the issue is textures and odors: I find that a preference for plain pasta often has a lot to do with odors, because plain pasta is pretty much odorless. (Conversely, I can't get near any kind of cruciferous vegetable; the odor makes me feel very ill, even if it's raw.)

My DS, who is a grown man now, will only eat mixed dishes if he takes part in making them, and he hates cream sauces and gravies that hide the components of the food. He distrusts what might be in/under them, so he'll pass altogether. (And no, I never "hid" veggies when he was little. He had severe reflux until he was 4, and he still subconsciously worries that something in the food might trigger it off and make him throw up. If he does not know exactly what is in it and that everything in it is safe for him, no go.) He will eat any kind of seafood as long at is cooked, except batter-fried; again because he wants to see what he's eating. His faves are boiled/steamed shellfish, because he knows exactly what's in it (due to the natural packaging, LOL.)

PS: One thing I'd like to mention: outside influences. All food prepared in our house is fairly spicy; we don't do bland. My kids were fine with that from birth; they literally got it as mother's milk. HOWEVER, my late MIL had very milquetoast taste, her idea of seasoning was salt -- it was literally the only non-baking spice that she kept in her pantry. She used to babysit DS frequently, and one day when he was 4, he was eating at her house and asked her for hot sauce. She was appalled, and gave him a big lecture about how he should never, ever eat spicy foods because they were very bad for children and would make him sick. At that moment he went on a boxed mac n' cheese binge that lasted 2 years -- it was literally the only thing he would eat (except shellfish, which he loved too much to pass up.) Do be careful with younger children that they have not gotten some scare story from another child or even a well-meaning misinformed adult.

 

[amberpi]

I never really fought them much over clothing. If they were dressed weird, I figured most would understand I didn’t pick out the outfit. One trick is to give two or three options, so they still get a choice.

I just want them to be dressed appropriately for weather and activity and for them to be half way clean. Even that is a struggle some mornings; and the "clean" thing is a nice to have; sometimes the little girl goes to school 2 days in a row in the same dress.

 

[amberpi]

Scallops really? I wouldn't make anyone, child or not, eat something with such a strong flavor profile (ie. seafood)... TRY yes... Eat as a meal, no.

They love them actually. One of the first times we went out together was to hibatchi - which they love - the kids ended up eating the scallops off my plate after suggesting they try them and largely ignoring their own. They try and some things they like, some they don't...but they need to try. I'm not so mean.

 

[wenrob]

When mine were younger, I just always made sure I had something I knew my picky eater would eat. I definitely didn't cook separate meals for him, but it was pretty easy to prepare something using what I was preparing anyway. Like if he didn't want the chicken because it was marinated or seasoned with something, I'd just throw a plain one on the grill. If it was something where I couldn't do that, he was free to make himself a sandwich for dinner. I grew up fighting food battles and I wasn't going to do that to my own kids, I was ok with them going without dinner if they chose that themselves, or them making something they wanted. The only battle was getting them to clean up their mess in the kitchen
To be fair, my ds's pickiness could have come from the fact that he has multiple food allergies . I have always had to watch what I made for him anyway due to those but thankfully now that he is older he can tolerate things (like soy, and sesame, which I tend to use alot) so that isn't an issue anymore. There are things I avoid totally for any meal because he does have a severe tree nut allergy.
He's pretty much grown out of his pickiness, which is nice because we have always been the type of family to try all kinds of foods.

I was unaware that you got yourself a whole family along with your new husband, congrats!

I’ll do this. DS doesn’t like baked or mashed potatoes but he’ll eat roasted. It’s no big deal for me to cut up a half potato, spray it with olive oil and roast it instead or make two veggies etc.

Yep, and I'm pretty sweet on the whole package.

Now if you veteran parents want to give me some knowledge on how to not fight with the kids on what to wear to school, I'd love to hear that. The food thing, we've got on lock. Getting a toddler to understand he can't wear his rainboots to school because he falls down in them is a mess; or that his daughter can't wear the blue unicorn dress (she has a weeks worth of unicorn clothes) which I didn't wash or know to wash 2 days in a row. That is a struggle. We try to get the clothes picked out when we are picking out pjs at night, but half the time it doesn't work come morning.

Eh, you don’t fight them about it. With young kids you have to pick your battles.