Things that parents do - my pet peeves

[SnowandMittens]

How about NO why should we have to just because you might feel uncomfortable because you might catch a glimpse of my breast. I do not show it all to the world, but you being uncomfortable is not my concern my concern is feeding my child. Imagine if you were told you couldn't bottle feed your child until you have walked over to the baby care station. Would you be accepting in this? I wouldn't think so.

I have fed both my boys around Disneyland and Disneyworld on just about every ride they were allowed on.


To the people who can raise their children without yelling at them. Good for you really glad you can do that, but that doesn't mean those you do yell are ruining their kids.

And to think I wasn't going to post on this thread... Want to know what peeves me?

Judgemental people!!!

Pot, please meet kettle.

And I would not care to catch a glimspe of your breast, I do not care what you are doing with it.

 

[SLK1]

How about NO why should we have to just because you might feel uncomfortable because you might catch a glimpse of my breast. I do not show it all to the world, but you being uncomfortable is not my concern my concern is feeding my child. Imagine if you were told you couldn't bottle feed your child until you have walked over to the baby care station. Would you be accepting in this? I wouldn't think so.

I have fed both my boys around Disneyland and Disneyworld on just about every ride they were allowed on.


To the people who can raise their children without yelling at them. Good for you really glad you can do that, but that doesn't mean those you do yell are ruining their kids.

And to think I wasn't going to post on this thread... Want to know what peeves me?

Judgemental people!!!

You should've stuck with your original plan of not posting. Seriously, there is no need to get all defensive. It was a simple question, qualified by a "I've never nursed" statement. Ease up lady! Seems like YOU are the one with the issue!!!

 

[badblackpug]

Well, I've violated almost everyone's pet peeves. I've yelled at my kids. Sometimes you just have to get their attention, sometimes you just lose your temper. I have used the threat "if you do that one more time you are going back to the room." I have argued with my spouse. I have changed a child out in the open. (more than once, more than one child) I have allowed a child to walk around in god-awful uncomfortable shoes. (she insisted on wearing them) I allowed my son to sweat his b***s off in a plastic Buzz Lightyear costume at MNSSHP. I have forced children to ride rides. (more than once, more than one child) I have allowed my children to eat junk for meals. I have not gone back to the room for naps. (ever) I have disrupted my children's schedule by allowing them to stay up late and sleep in. (always) I have left my children at kids clubs. (every trip) I have spoken to my children in a language other than English.

I am expecting a visit from DYFS any minute!

...but seriously (and I am serious, I have done all those things) I don't really care what you do with your kids unless it affects me and/or mine. Please try to "police" your children as best as possible. Don't allow your kids to run amok and not make any attempt to correct them. A few cases: The table of children that were involved in a food fight at the Coral Reef while a table full of adults looked on a laughed. I did not enjoy being splattered with your children's dinner. The group of teenagers that knocked down my daughter running to get to the front of the line on Space Mountain. The kid that pushed ahead of my son on R&R so that he could ride with his brother, even though he was in the single rider lane, and the father who yelled at me for saying something, and used a racial slur at that! The group of about 8-10 year olds that wanted to splash in the baby pool at ASMu, and splashed my 8 month old in the face, and the mother who told "it's a pool, kids get splashed."

...and about kids having a tantrum or crying in restaurants...please remove them until they are calm. I am not talking about a baby or a toddler banging a spoon, or letting out a happy squeal, or giggling, or babbling. I am talking about a crying, screaming, or acting out child. No one can enjoy a meal while a child is screaming, even if the child is their own!

 

[natale1980]

Spaceship Earth, & Tomorrow Transit Authority were my Daughters favorite rides on our past trip - mostly because I would nurse her on those rides. Sure we used the mother's room too... but I don't want to sit in there all day long. Plus... I don't think anyone knew what I was doing anyways.

Also - I'm sure everyone thought I was a really bad mommy who kept her out all day long since she would scream VERY VERY loud almost every time we were on a bus. But we did take regular brakes. Sometimes she would scream on the bus only moments after waking up from a long nap. That girl just really hated Disney Transportation!!! (I bet you if I nursed her on the bus she wouldn't have screamed )
So maybe when you see a unhappy child on the bus - It's not because they have bad parents - It's because they have issues with Disney Transportation.
And before you say something mean - I did feel bad for everyone around me and Skylar. There was just nothing I could do about it once it started. No "Last Chance" door on the bus.

This time I booked BLT so that we could take the monorail! Hope that helps!
-nat

 

[Steph9072]

My biggest pet peeve as a parent is…when I tell my child to do or not to do something and a stranger chimes in and says oh that’s okay honey or Mom their fine.

We at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum the other day. There is one big continuous ramp that people can use to walk from floor to floor. I was trying to tell my children if we all stay on the right side be it going up or down then everyone has room, the same with stairs or hallways. Well not two seconds later my dd was back on the left side of the ramp almost running into a lady. I said Holly please come back to the right side so you don’t run in to people. The lady sad Oh Mom she’s okay. It seems like people butt in when they don’t know what is going on.

 

[Zeebs]

Wow -- I wasn't trying to be judgemental -- That is why I said I didn't know because I never breast fed -- I just thought that was the purpose of the pumps -- so you could pump your own breastmilk to feed your child in this type of situation.

I guess my peeve is people with chips on their shoulder.

My apologies I didn't mean to get defensive it is those little icons the little cheeky whistling face to me indicated that you knew that the comment would be a little bit controversial when you asked it. I am sorry if I misconstrued the icon. I shall answer the question.

It can take forever to express enough for a bottle, a baby is so much more effect at getting what they need out. So in order for me to get a bottles worth it could take 2-3 days. I would do that if on the rare occassion I needed to go out without the baby.

I don't have a chip on my shoulder either. Nobody has ever made a comment to me with regards to my feeding my child, I have never been asked to move to a toilet to feed them etc. I guess it annoys me that something so simple as feeding my child can bother so many people. Once again apologies if I came across as a grump.

But, no one ever suggested that you nurse your baby in the baby care station. She asked about pumping and I thought it was a good question (answered quite nicely by the next poster). Earlier, I asked about a bench. There are all over the place, not like you have to hike to the other side of the park or something.

Why do these question always have to come to someone saying "why should I have to . . . " Nurse your baby where ever you darn well please. Don't use anything to cover up with if you don't want to. But when people walk by and stare or say something about you not being discreet--don't get up in the air about that either. I have seen mother's nurse that no one could even tell what was going on--what is so wrong with that? But, by all means do whatever you feel is appropriate for you and your baby.

As for the yelling, it really is not the greatest thing (although, you are correct you are not "ruining" your children). Children that are yelled at will begin to yell themselves. I had a employee at my child care center that had a habit of raising her voice. Her classroom was the loudest because of that. The louder she got, the louder her kids got and visa versa. I took her aside and told her that she couldn't raise her voice to the kids. I then let her observe my own classroom. She saw a definite difference in the noise level and toned it down a lot. If they don't start yelling or even if they do, they will many times stop listening any time you are not yelling. Additionally, for some children, yelling at them can hurt their self esteem (I am not talking about the "hey, stop that!" type of yelling her, but more of the "how could you have done that?" and lecturing type of yelling). That's not my opinion, its what I have observed and what I have learned in early childhood development.

Maybe people wouldn't seem so judgmental if one tried not to be so defensive.

I realise nobody suggested that we hike all the way over to the baby care centre to feed our children, I was using it as an example to the people who want to know when feeding why can't we go somewhere where we can't be seen. A baby needs to be fed, if you can sit down anywhere and pull out a bottle, why can the same not be said for nursing? Mothers that use bottles would be up in arms if they were told sorry, you need to do that in a baby care area. Again I realise that you never said we couldn't but it has been mentioned before so I was using it as an example.

Thank you for not caring how we feed our children, I don't cover up but I try to be as discreet as possible, alot of people wouldn't know I was feeding. But that said babies go through the stage where they are popping on an off and while I try hard to move my shirt in time with them so that no one catches a glimpse of something they would rather not see sometimes I might not make it.

Pot, please meet kettle.


And I would not care to catch a glimspe of your breast, I do not care what you are doing with it.

I am sure you would not. And I will try my hardest, see above post, to ensure that doesn't happen. But my hardest does not include, walking to a babycare station, sitting in a toilet, etc.

and I am not quite sure on the Pot kettle statement, I never judged anyone, I realise people don't like people nursing, I don't pretend to understand why but that is your prerogative.

You should've stuck with your original plan of not posting. Seriously, there is no need to get all defensive. It was a simple question, qualified by a "I've never nursed" statement. Ease up lady! Seems like YOU are the one with the issue!!!

Yeah maybe I should have just left it but as I have explained above it is those little icons that do it I couldn't resist. I am defensive because some of these statements might put some women off nursing. If you don't want to breastfed because you are scared someone might tell you off I find that incredibly sad.

I apologise once again if I offended anyone with my post.

Kirsten

 

[luvsJack]

My apologies I didn't mean to get defensive it is those little icons the little cheeky whistling face to me indicated that you knew that the comment would be a little bit controversial when you asked it. I am sorry if I misconstrued the icon. I shall answer the question.

It can take forever to express enough for a bottle, a baby is so much more effect at getting what they need out. So in order for me to get a bottles worth it could take 2-3 days. I would do that if on the rare occassion I needed to go out without the baby.

I don't have a chip on my shoulder either. Nobody has ever made a comment to me with regards to my feeding my child, I have never been asked to move to a toilet to feed them etc. I guess it annoys me that something so simple as feeding my child can bother so many people. Once again apologies if I came across as a grump.



I realise nobody suggested that we hike all the way over to the baby care centre to feed our children, I was using it as an example to the people who want to know when feeding why can't we go somewhere where we can't be seen. A baby needs to be fed, if you can sit down anywhere and pull out a bottle, why can the same not be said for nursing? Mothers that use bottles would be up in arms if they were told sorry, you need to do that in a baby care area. Again I realise that you never said we couldn't but it has been mentioned before so I was using it as an example.

Thank you for not caring how we feed our children, I don't cover up but I try to be as discreet as possible, alot of people wouldn't know I was feeding. But that said babies go through the stage where they are popping on an off and while I try hard to move my shirt in time with them so that no one catches a glimpse of something they would rather not see sometimes I might not make it.



I am sure you would not. And I will try my hardest, see above post, to ensure that doesn't happen. But my hardest does not include, walking to a babycare station, sitting in a toilet, etc.

and I am not quite sure on the Pot kettle statement, I never judged anyone, I realise people don't like people nursing, I don't pretend to understand why but that is your prerogative.



Yeah maybe I should have just left it but as I have explained above it is those little icons that do it I couldn't resist. I am defensive because some of these statements might put some women off nursing. If you don't want to breastfed because you are scared someone might tell you off I find that incredibly sad.

I apologise once again if I offended anyone with my post.

Kirsten

Ok, I see what you are saying and you are right; people shouldn't assume that breast feeding mothers should go to special places anymore that bottle feeding mothers should. When I originally asked about a quiet bench, I was asking about something I would do as a bottle feeding mom. For my kids, regardless of what they were getting fed from, the whole process of feeding and burping, etc. just worked out better from a quieter location than on a ride or in the middle of a lot of noise and commotion. Maybe that was just my kids.

Just from curiosity, why don't you use some kind of light blanket or even a burping cloth to cover up? I don't mean that you should or you have to; I just always wonder when mom's say they don't, why they don't? I wouldn't want to use something hot and thick to cover up the baby's face, but something light or someone mentioned a loose weaved blanket that you can see through. It just seems like it would be easier than always having to jerk your shirt around when the baby turns away.

 

[frtchr]

Even a light blanket gets hot over a baby, especially in FL. Plus, my kids were always great at yanking the blankets off of them so they could nurse without a covering. It was/is always far more inconvenient for me to be wrestling the blanket back over nursing children than to just let them nurse quietly until they were done. Just my two cents.

 

[Zeebs]

Ok, I see what you are saying and you are right; people shouldn't assume that breast feeding mothers should go to special places anymore that bottle feeding mothers should. When I originally asked about a quiet bench, I was asking about something I would do as a bottle feeding mom. For my kids, regardless of what they were getting fed from, the whole process of feeding and burping, etc. just worked out better from a quieter location than on a ride or in the middle of a lot of noise and commotion. Maybe that was just my kids.

Just from curiosity, why don't you use some kind of light blanket or even a burping cloth to cover up? I don't mean that you should or you have to; I just always wonder when mom's say they don't, why they don't? I wouldn't want to use something hot and thick to cover up the baby's face, but something light or someone mentioned a loose weaved blanket that you can see through. It just seems like it would be easier than always having to jerk your shirt around when the baby turns away.

I have tried the cover up approach on occassion but my boys were nosey and didn't like having it over their head. It was actually because it was really sunny that I tried it and there was no shade at the time apart from their pushchair. I suppose I have always just been quite comfortable with my decision to breast feed that I didn't feel the need to get them use to it in the early days.


Kirsten

 

[Maggie'sMom]

My biggest pet peeve as a parent is…when I tell my child to do or not to do something and a stranger chimes in and says oh that’s okay honey or Mom their fine.

This bothers me too. When I am trying to teach my child good manners, it undermines my lesson if someone says "oh, that's okay." It isn't to me. I want my child to learn to be considerate of others. I usually answer "I'm glad it didn't bother you, but I want my daughter to learn proper manners."

Just from curiosity, why don't you use some kind of light blanket or even a burping cloth to cover up? I don't mean that you should or you have to; I just always wonder when mom's say they don't, why they don't? I wouldn't want to use something hot and thick to cover up the baby's face, but something light or someone mentioned a loose weaved blanket that you can see through. It just seems like it would be easier than always having to jerk your shirt around when the baby turns away.

I could be more discrete nursing if I wasn't trying to cover up with a blanket. DD would pull anything covering her off, and so it would further draw attention to what I was doing if I kept having to rearrange a blanket. I had it down to a science where even I couldn't see my nipple when I was nursing DD. Someone would have had to be at eye level with my breast, sticking their nose between DD and me in order to see anything.

As for pumping, it was a pain to do. The only way I could pump more than a couple ounces at a time was to pump first thing in the morning before I nursed DD. Then I could get 5 or 6 ounces at most. I was/am a full-time working mother and it was a challenge to pump enough to send to daycare. I would go at lunch to nurse her because I just couldn't pump enough for a full day every day. So pumping extra for bottles while we were out together just wasn't an option.

 

[NJR]

Even a light blanket gets hot over a baby, especially in FL. Plus, my kids were always great at yanking the blankets off of them so they could nurse without a covering. It was/is always far more inconvenient for me to be wrestling the blanket back over nursing children than to just let them nurse quietly until they were done. Just my two cents.

Exactly this! The few times that I did try using a blanket (using the very lightest blanket I have), he would still emerge drenched in sweat - like anyone, some kids are not bothered as much by the heat, but my boys are both "sweaters" and just do not tolerate having even the lightest of blankets over them in the Florida heat. Plus, DS #2 hates to be covered when nursing and would spend much of the time yanking the blanket off and squawking about it, his antics thus drawing much more attention to us then if I left him uncovered - he would then just concentrate on eating (and then be done a lot more quietly and quickly). I've figured out that the best I can manage with him is to drape a blanket along my side, so that my side is not exposed - not to say that I think all nursing moms need to cover up, it has more to do with trying to conceal my own "mummy tummy"

Beachgirl2000 (and others) - I totally get your question, and I can understand how women who have not breastfed would believe that it is just *that* easy to pump off a bottle; I believed the same before I breastfed my boys and thus can hardly fault someone else for thinking similarly. Having said that, as pp have stated it really isn't as easy as I once thought it would be. Most breastfeeding resources will tell you that a pump is never as effective as a baby at extracting milk, and this can be especially true with women with an "established" supply - in other words, my current milk production matches my son's demands, there is not an overabundance just waiting to be pumped out into a bottle on a moment's notice. Like luvsJack, it might take me 2-3 days worth of pumping sessions to get a whole bottle's worth at this point - worth it if I need to be away from my son for an extended time period, really not worth it for times when he is going to be right by my side, public or not.

 

[stella27]

It really does seem like a baby should be happy nursing under a light blanket and then no one would possibly catch a glimpse of my breast and baby could nurse quietly, but my little diners would pull it off and wrestle with me over it - if you haven't nursed it seems like it would make sense, but they are such playful and silly little monkeys that they think it's a game.

Once they discover those hands, you can't keep them from stroking you (so sweet), playing with your jewelry, or pulling off the blanket to play hide-n-seek with the world, which is why there is a MUCH greater risk of you seeing my goodies if I try to cover up.

 

[rt2dz]

Oh and a question for the nursing moms -- can't you pump and put the milk into bottles -- just for these type of feedings? I never nursed so I don't know much about it!

You’ve gotten some good answers, but there is one I haven’t seen. Pumping is meant to replace a feeding. The more a baby nurses or a mother pumps, the more milk you produce. So, you are actually upping production, which can lead to the need to either pump more or nurse more. If you are giving baby a pumped bottle during feeding time, you will need to pump, especially if you are like me and tend to over produce in the first place. So there is no need to pump if you are with baby. I’d much rather see a nursing baby than a pumping mommy. If you don’t pump that feeding out, you could wind up… “clogged up” and end up with a very painful breast infection. For me, that was more painful than childbirth.

Also, in the case of my second, he had (has) respiratory issues. He would only eat until his immediate hunger was satisfied and not until he was full. This meant he ate a lot more often than most babies. From the start of one feeding to the start of the next feeding was only 1 ½ hours. He was also a slow eater and would take 20 minutes to nurse. If I didn’t nurse on rides (many of which were quieter than the benches), I would have gotten nowhere. He was 8 months old before he got on a 2 ½ hour schedule (more like a newborn schedule). I couldn’t pump with him because I had no time to pump; he had to take the occasional bottle of formula when I absolutely could not be there.

Then, of course, there are other reasons, many of which you heard: Not all babies take a bottle, keeping cold until feeding time is difficult, etc

 

[Erica09M]

Oh and a question for the nursing moms -- can't you pump and put the milk into bottles -- just for these type of feedings? I never nursed so I don't know much about it!

No. Not all breastfeeding moms can pump or want to pump. I breastfed my youngest exclusively and never once gave her a bottle. I tried to pump and got zilch, but I could breastfeed without a problem. I certainly wouldn't give her a bottle just because I was at WDW. Not only that, but some breastfed babies WON'T take a bottle. Pumping is also a hassle (though some don't mind) and takes up time. Why would I take the time to pump, then take the time to feed my child a bottle.... when I could just nurse them and go about my business? Also, if I pumped and let my DH feed the bottle to the baby to save myself time, I'd still have to pump during that time he's feeding the baby the bottle since I would normally be nursing at that time. So why would we both occupy our time while he's feeding & I'm pumping... if I could just nurse? And, in some instances, the breastfeeding mom needs to pump more than once just to get enough for one bottle feeding. See, it's a hassle.

As for nursing in public and covering up... breastfeeding can be discreet without having to throw a blanket over the nursing child. It's up to the breastfeeding mother to decide if she's comfortable nursing in public with or without a cover, or at all... not the general public. I often times feel like a blanket over the baby draws more attention to the fact that a child is nursing, than if the mother was just snuggled up with her child. Breastfeeding in public is not indecent exposure, there are laws in place to protect the breastfeeding mother.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Just wanted to add to the nursing on a bench thing. I have found that in MK most of the benches that are out of the way and in the shade are a smoking area. I am not sitting in a smoking area nursing my baby.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I had a double electric pump for working FT while ds9 was a baby. It was more work than work. Also, it's time consuming and heavy so much easier to just nurse. No way would I be lugging that thing all over WDW. It was bad enough to carry it on the train.
Also the 'horn' looking parts need to be washed thoroughly each time so where could you do that in WDW? No way would I use a dirty public sink. There's a lot of parts and you have to be able to put them down somewhere clean.
I used to pump out what was left from his 4 am feeding, wash it all out while he went back to sleep. By 5:15 was time for me to get up and ready anyway. While at work I'd pump full bottles at 9am, noon, 3 pm then nurse him at 6 and again before bed.
The whole thing was so exhausting but what kept me going was staying connected to him and knowing I was giving him the best I could.
I'll never regret it.

 

[madge]

I don't care for parents who don't educate their children. And I don't mean just the A,B,C's and 1, 2, 3's alone (though seeing a stupid kid is pretty sad too). I don't like how some parents don't expect their kids to have manners, class, or even a shred of common sense. People like this do a dis-service to not only themselves and their children, but the world at large. I really can't even find the words for people who are bad parents.

Yelling doesn't make you a bad parent, spanking your kid every once in a while doesn't make you a bad parent, and denying your child certain things doesn't make you a bad parent. Giving a child limits, discipline, and teaching them about how the world really is, is where it is at. There have been times when I wished that it wasn't illegal to smack someone else's child...Or punt them across the room for that matter.

Oh yeah, and let your kid have that cookie or chip off the floor in your house if they just dropped it. Dirt don't hurt!

My main point is that your styles of parenting may be different and we won't always agree, but an all-encompassing theme here is that one takes a vested interest in their child and works toward making them a decent, intelligent human being.

wow. just wow.

 

[luvsJack]

Just wanted to add to the nursing on a bench thing. I have found that in MK most of the benches that are out of the way and in the shade are a smoking area. I am not sitting in a smoking area nursing my baby.

You know what? You are right! I really had not thought about that. When I asked the question, I was just envisioning those quiet benches in Tomorrow Land-- if you are facing Space Mtn., to the right. Hardly ever anyone over there. But, they are a smoking area! The only reason I have ever even noticed them is because dh is a smoker and I used to be!

Oh, well. Just goes to show you. We all question other's parenting styles or choices and there is usually a perfectly reasonable explanation for those choices!

BTW, the no blanket to cover explanations make perfect sense too! I remember the sweetest times with my babies being when the would be eating and getting oh, so playful. Sooo sweet!

 

[GBBTomorrow]

A different one i have is parents that choose "cute" over comfort.

Now I LOVE to see the little girls in the princess dresses but PLEASE choose one that matches the weather and put shoes on that they can walk in. I have seen children in thoese silly plastic dress up shoes "trying" to walk around MK. We often go in winter when it can be cold but parents will not cover up the cute dress with a coat even when they have one on..

I haven't read this whole thread yet, so somebody may have responded to this already. I just wanted to say, don't be so sure the little girls are uncomfortable. Whenever DD6 wears a costume in the parks, including plastic shoes, it is by her choice. There is always a sundress or pair of shorts and some sandals in our backpack, and she NEVER will put them on. She has never complained of being uncomfortable in her princess attire, and would wear a costume each and every day if she could.

In fact, a lady behind us in line for a ride started making snarky comments about little girls "melting," and that was why she wouldn't let her girl wear her costume. My daughter was perfectly comfortable, and here's this woman loudly making comments just to justify being maybe a bit of a scrooge to her own daughter.

 

[GBBTomorrow]

I have! She was sitting on a Disney bus right across from me, and just put the child on her lap, and went to town. No attempt to cover her parts up or be discreet at all! And she was rather well endowed so there was a lot left not covered up.

I wouldn't have cared at all, but she was sitting straight across from me, so that is where my eyes wanted to look. I spent that bus ride talking to the people right next to me or looking at the floor.

My sister breast fed her youngest at Disney World. She had an open weave blanket that was very light. Just enough coverage so that you couldn't see her and light enough so that the baby was still comfortable.

I have too! At the Pooh playground there was a woman with extraordinarily large breasts feeding her baby, and she had BOTH breasts out, despite the fact that baby was only using one.

This is coming from a mom who has nursed on Storybookland Canal Boats (Disneyland) and pretty much anywhere else, as needed, so I'm very pro-nursing. But I don't get them both out at once!!!