Peanut free classroom this year...

[imthatgirl]

Perhaps I have a remarkably precocious 4.5 year old then. She knows she's being left out. And she knows why. And she makes the choice to be left out without feeling that it's a personal affront. We do make attempts to make as many things safe for her as we can. We try to always have special options for her when the common option isn't a choice. We can't make everything safe for her (any more than we can for ourselves as adults). She sees us make those same choices in our lives without angst.

The *only* times I've seen her get upset about things at school was when her teachers had a bad reaction -first-. They overreacted, she got upset, the other kids got upset, and it was a huge production. If they keep things low key and matter-of-fact, we have no problems. "I'm sorry, this has wheat in it, I'll get you some chocolate from your safe cabinet instead"

understandable, of course we all think our children are perfect and much older than their years. thats normal.

 

[PaulaSue]

In case you haven't heard, children with allergies are protected just as anyone with a disability. They are guaranteed a free and appropriate public education.

There's a "little" thing called "Section 504" that would be violated if modifications for these children were not made. And no school system wants to violate it. Nope, 'cause that would be bad.

At the PS they banned all food made at places that makes nut products for the safety issues for the DC. I know children are guaranteed a free and public education but if it was my child I would homeschool if the allergy is that bad. KWIM You just can't promise that all the kids/parents/grandparents will check everything and let nothing slide by now and then, especially with things like breakfast and the difference with M&Ms and Kissables.

 

[JackJack08]

My argument isn't an emotional one, it's a logical one. It's impossible for teachers to police everything the students are eating, or have eatten during the day. So accepting that, if a child is at serious risk of death - they should eat at a peanut free table to minimalize that risk of death. A peanut free zone is a utopian idea that realistically can not be maintained.
It's not about being selfish, or uncaring for these kids. But keeping them safe should be dealt with in a honest and responsible fashion. If my DD had an allergy or condittion that might kill her, it would be more important to me to know that she's eating at a well cleaned table and with a group of people who were educated on her condittion than counting on 200+ unknown families and staff to come to school unrealistically peanut free. It's a gamble I wouldn't take with my child's life.
I also find your comment on the 'starving children of the world' to be ironic on a board that deals with planning Disney vacations.

My comment about starving children, is absolutely something that
I am passionate about. Don't you think for a minute, in your sarcastic manner, that I am not TOTALLY grateful that I live in a civilized society, where I can get fresh food for my kids. (And find them thousands of things to eat without PB-I may add) We donate a good portion of our income (and are proud to do it) to families local and worldwide that are not as fortunate as we are. Does this mean that I can't take my family on a vacation, of course not. We work hard, and are proud to do that as well. How much do you donate????? Oh, and thanks for the personal attack...kind of made my day.

 

[natnelliesmom]

Obviously you have never had to use an epipen before to suggest a 5 yo would be able to do it when she is having a anaphylaxis reaction.

My DD was 3 when she developed a severe peanut allergy. The first thing her allergist did was teach her how to use her epipen. His philosophy was that by knowing how it worked it would remove her anxiety over it. He went over it with her at every follow up apt. from then on. We also talked about it at home.
Thank goodness he did!
My DD was just over 4 when she had an allergic reaction at a playdate at a friend's house. Her mother had been making peanut butter cookies the day before and apparently had missed some residue on her kitchen counter. My DD rubbed against it and started having a reaction. The other child's mother (a pretty good friend of mine) panicked and didn't know what to do! She really just freaked out. My DD's reaction was so fast that by the time she had taken her epipen out of her backpack she was already having trouble breathing. She opened her epipen and administered it to herself. Right into her upper thigh through her jeans. Just as we taught her to. Luckily my friend was at least able to call 911!!
I was proud to say the least.
You need to give your children control over their own bodies. It's their allergy- teach them how to live with it.
From the very beginning I taught her to tell people she is allergic to peanuts before accepting any type of food. Not just to say she can't eat that or she can't eat peanuts but to say she is allergic. We repeated it over and over 10s of times a day. Whenever I'd give her food I'd make her ask if she could eat that.
Often I would ask her if she wanted a peanut butter cookie- just to make her say " I can't eat that, I'm allergic to peanuts!" She was so good at it even at 3 years old that my level of anxiety was lowered.
She has to live with it- I can eat peanuts. She can't. I need to make sure she understands that and can live her life safely with her allergy.
Sure it's unfair!!! But this is how it is. She can't change it, I can't change it. We just deal with it.
We don't ask others to make accommodations for us. Our friends do- because they know and understand. But many times my DD has gone without B-day cake or treats that other kids have had. It doesn't hurt her to do without. She knows why she can't have it. I sometimes send snacks with her- but she's pretty good at finding alternatives from what is offered.
She packs a placemat when she needs to have a snack or lunch for school or camp activities. This keeps her food and hands off the table and away from other's food. She knows not to take food from other kids. She understands the reasons why.
Again.. I gave her the responsibility over her own body at a young age. She knows how to deal with it.
Of course I worry all the time- but knowing she understands the risks allows me to breathe a little easier.
I don't feel like I have to make the world safer for her by forcing others to make accommodations for her. She makes accommodations for herself. Which is how it should be. It's her allergy- not the other kids' in her class.
-Sarah

 

[melancholywings]

My comment about starving children, is absolutely something that
I am passionate about. Don't you think for a minute, in your sarcastic manner, that I am not TOTALLY grateful that I live in a civilized society, where I can get fresh food for my kids. (And find them thousands of things to eat without PB-I may add) We donate a good portion of our income (and are proud to do it) to families local and worldwide that are not as fortunate as we are. Does this mean that I can't take my family on a vacation, of course not. We work hard, and are proud to do that as well. How much do you donate????? Oh, and thanks for the personal attack...kind of made my day.

That's nice.
I'm not sure what kind of response you're looking for. I don't feel the need to waive around or brag about the charities I support. So for your question 'How much do you donate?'. My answer is yes.

Back on topic.
Is it difficult to accept that the other parents at your school, or any school may have a different background or life style than yours? Where it's possible that they may not be an english speaking/reading family, or perhaps both parents work and little Johnny has to make his own school lunch, or maybe PB&J is the only thing to eat in the house - and that's if he's lucky.
If a child is so severly allergic to something that it can cause death the school shouldn't risk that child's life with the assumption that all the other families at that school will follow those rules. When, I'm sure many of the teachers would agree - there are plenty of parents out there who do not follow even basic rules - drop off time, speeding in the school zone, etc. An allergy free school is a gamble.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

understandable, of course we all think our children are perfect and much older than their years. thats normal.

 

[BostonRob]

I don't feel like I have to make the world safer for her by forcing others to make accommodations for her. She makes accommodations for herself. Which is how it should be. It's her allergy- not the other kids' in her class.
-Sarah

Good for you on all counts.

 

[Ellester]

My daughter can't eat any of those things. It's not that normal items without shared-peanut facilities are a problem. It's that when you have allergies of your own - at one point we were gluten free, wheat free, dairy free, corn free, rice free, legume free, soy free (none of which we could tolerate shared facility on for our own health)- adding another "not even shared facility" limitation can be HARD. And it makes an already severely limited diet even more limited.

I feel for you. DD has a very good friend with severe food allergies as well. He can eat nuts, but he must be gluten, dairy, corn, and wheat free (there may be others as well). He even had an asthmatic reaction to a bit of blush that was applied as stage make up to his cheeks for a production he was in, turned out it had traces of gluten. Shared equipment is also out. One of the only premade snacks he could have was Lay's plain potato chips until they recently added "may be cooked in corn oil" to the label. Now it's out too. I never would have thought about corn allergies extending to corn oil and corn syrup until I met him. He is homeschooled, but I really wonder what the poor kids would be able to bring to eat in a nut free school. He'd be pretty much down to meat and fruit.

Not sure what the solution is, but I do feel for those families dealing with such restrictive allergies.

 

[perkinsrose]

understandable, of course we all think our children are perfect and much older than their years. thats normal.

I KNOW my children aren't perfect!

As a teacher and parent, I have to say children are often UNDERestimated for their abilities and psyche.

 

[JackJack08]

That's nice.
I'm not sure what kind of response you're looking for. I don't feel the need to waive around or brag about the charities I support. So for your question 'How much do you donate?'. My answer is yes.

Back on topic.
Is it difficult to accept that the other parents at your school, or any school may have a different background or life style than yours? Where it's possible that they may not be an english speaking/reading family, or perhaps both parents work and little Johnny has to make his own school lunch, or maybe PB&J is the only thing to eat in the house - and that's if he's lucky.
If a child is so severly allergic to something that it can cause death the school shouldn't risk that child's life with the assumption that all the other families at that school will follow those rules. When, I'm sure many of the teachers would agree - there are plenty of parents out there who do not follow even basic rules - drop off time, speeding in the school zone, etc. An allergy free school is a gamble.

You are the one, that made the snide remark about my post. It is unfortunate that when someone disagrees with you, being rude is the only way you know how to comeback. Nice. You are also the one that took us off topic. Whatever....I'll choose to chat, with those that can have their own opinions, without being ignorant to one another.

BACK ON TOPIC....
OP, I agree that your situation seems unfair but hopefully, maybe you parents can rally something together, to make it more tolerable. It doesn't sound like the school is going to change their mind. I am pretty creative, so if any suggestions are needed PM me, I love to help. Good luck.....

 

[2cutekidz]

I am so saddened by most of the responses in this thread! We're talking about peanuts!! Seriously if it can save a child's life what's the big deal?!

My DD does not have any allergies. Last year she started all day Kindergarten. At the kindergarten picnic we were told that a child in her class had a severe peanut/tree nut allergy and because of it the WHOLE school would be peanut free. The lunch menu was being changed - they offered a PB&J sandwhich daily. It would now be a grilled cheese sandwhich instead.

The mother of the chid gave a little speech at the picinic. Told us all how serious the allergy was - even breathing it in could kill him. She had flyers made with a list of the accpectable prepackaged snacks we could use and even brought in a jar of Sunflower butter for anyone to sample.

This year that same boy is in her class (sits right next to her actually) and there is another child in her class with a peanut allergy.

Yes, the list is limited, but not once did it ever occur to me to complain because my poor little allergy free girl couldn't bring a PB&J, or certain brand of cookie to school.

If a child brought in an item they weren't suppose to have for snack or lunch, the teacher would not let them have it - it was sent back home. They were given something else for their snack that day (usually goldfish crackers )

For the original poster, I don't thnk it's fair for the entire class to miss out on the lunchroom experience. For the principal to dismiss your suggestions is awful, and I would take it further to the school board.

 

[crisi]

I am so saddened by most of the responses in this thread! We're talking about peanuts!! Seriously if it can save a child's life what's the big deal?!

To me, the big deal is that we aren't talking about peanuts - we are talking about allergies. Are we going to ban wheat, dairy, soy, berries, corn (all which can cause shock reactions), limit recess for bee free school activities, etc. How far are we willing to go - and why should peanut allergies be treated differently than wheat allergies or bee stings? If a school is opening themselves up for a lawsuit about peanuts, aren't they opening themselves up for the same lawsuit for wheat or soy? And if they don't ban wheat, aren't they opening themselves up for a discrimination problem?

Reasonable accommodations can be made for all of these, but an allergen free school does not seem reasonable - nor does the quarantine of an entire classroom to address the allergies of one child.

 

[cjackearl]

As the parent of a child in a third grade peanut free classroom, I have a comment about the ability of the teacher to police lunches: the kids do that for her! The boy in my daughter's class has a severe allergy, the note home said not only no peanut butter or peanuts, but no peanut flour or peanut oil. My daughter eats very little before becoming full, so getting some protein in her is key or we all suffer the demon child a couple of hours after her meal. Natural peanut butter was an easy way to ensure this, but I was happy to comply with the ban. Anyway, I sent in almonds as a healthy alternative that she would eat (boy is not tree nut allergic). Some of the other kids freaked out, yelling at her for bringing something Nick is allergic to. I told her next time to ask the teacher to explain to the other kids what the difference between a tree nut and a peanut was. I hate to think what the reaction will be when I send in a container of cashew butter with apples!

 

[I_Know_You2!]

To me, the big deal is that we aren't talking about peanuts - we are talking about allergies. Are we going to ban wheat, dairy, soy, berries, corn (all which can cause shock reactions), limit recess for bee free school activities, etc. How far are we willing to go - and why should peanut allergies be treated differently than wheat allergies or bee stings? If a school is opening themselves up for a lawsuit about peanuts, aren't they opening themselves up for the same lawsuit for wheat or soy? And if they don't ban wheat, aren't they opening themselves up for a discrimination problem?

Reasonable accommodations can be made for all of these, but an allergen free school does not seem reasonable - nor does the quarantine of an entire classroom to address the allergies of one child.

 

[crisi]

To expand a little - I'm gluten intolerant (not allergic, but since I can't eat gluten I have a pretty good idea what contains wheat)....imagine instead of a peanut allergy, a child in the class had a true wheat allergy (i.e. shock reaction similar to peanuts) and - because we'd established precidence with peanuts, you needed to keep the classroom/school wheat free. This would mean that you could not have real bread - there are gluten free breads available - I pay $8 a loaf for mine and it tastes like crap. You could not have most soups. You could not have the vast majority of crackers. No soy sauce. Of course, no birthday cake or cupcakes. Most SPICES (which often use wheat as a filler) would be out unless labeled that they were packaged in a wheat free facility. My kids don't have a menu this month at school that is wheat free - and most are wheat heavy.

Now, once I let the school establish the precedence that peanut allergies are serious things that can kill children and its reasonable to create a peanut free school or quarentine an entire classroom - when the mother of a wheat allergic child demands the same protection and the same socialization - she SHOULD get it - even though its much less practical than peanuts. I wouldn't want to be on the school board defending that lawsuit.

 

[C.Ann]

BACK ON TOPIC....
OP, I agree that your situation seems unfair but hopefully, maybe you parents can rally something together, to make it more tolerable. It doesn't sound like the school is going to change their mind. I am pretty creative, so if any suggestions are needed PM me, I love to help. Good luck.....

---------------------

This is the real topic at hand.. OP has never said, "I'm sending in peanut butter anyhow.."

 

[C.Ann]

For the original poster, I don't thnk it's fair for the entire class to miss out on the lunchroom experience. For the principal to dismiss your suggestions is awful, and I would take it further to the school board.

-------------------------------

Again, the real topic at hand..

 

[stephbillalec]

First, that was a personal attack. If you're going to preach about people following rules at schools you should be consistent and follow the rules here.
Exactly who would be inconvenienced by a child carrying their own epipen?
I never said the 5 year old would be injecting herself, but assuming there's somebody in school that is capable of doing that, it would happen a lot quicker if they didn't have to run to the office to get the thing. And by the way, an epipen is the simplest thing in the world to use. If my five year old was allergic to nuts, I'd have taught her to use one by now. Ideally somebody else would, but worst case scenario I think she could handle it. And suggesting an epipen is such a safety hazzard that it would prevent other kids from getting the education they're entitled to is ludicrous.

First off, BostonRob, I would like to apologize to you. I guess you could say my post was a personal attack. Please excuse the sarcasm of it; however, as the mom of a peanut allergic 5 year old, I was very upset and angry over your post. Unless you walk in the shoes of the parent of a food allergic child, you will never understand how difficult it is. Yet, again, my apologies.

An epipen is certainly NOT simple to use for a 5 year old. If your child were allergic, you might have taught her to use it; however, I can assure you that she would NOT be allowed to do so in school if needed. In most cases the child's doctor, the school nurse and the parent must sign a form saying that the child is allowed to self administer her medication. Most physicians won't even consider this before middle school age.

As for suggesting that an epipen is a safety hazzard that would prevent other kids from getting an education, I have no idea what you mean. I never said that or implied that. Epipens are 100% necessary for peanut allergic children. My peanut philosophy is somewhat different than most other parents of peanut allergic chidren. I don't have a problem with other children eating peanuts/peanut products as long as my daughter isn't eating it. I cannot allow her to live in a bubble. A peanut free zone does not equal her guaranteed safety and does nothing but offer a false sense of security. My main concern is that all staff members who are responsible for the care of my daughter be trained in administering the epipen and that an epipen and Benadryl is with her at all times. Because of this she has 10 epipens at school and teachers, the principal and even the lunch aides know how to administer it.

 

[cosmicdaisy]

I realize this thread has ventured off from the OP's post...but I do think, for the most part, it has been a good thread. Hopefully, an informative one for some.

I am the parent of a child with a life-threatening allergy to cow's milk. I've mentioned it before, but I wanted to say it again since a lot of people have posted to this thread and I mentioned it way back when. As a parent of a food allergic kid, I understand. i imagine that parents of children with food allergies are more empathetic to other parents of children food allergies. It is that reasoning that leads me to believe, that most of the time, a parent that has a child with an allergy to something other than peanuts would probably not demand that their child receive the exact same ban as has become so common with peanuts. I am possibly biased in this thinking since my child is allergic to something that is so commonplace in schools and I would never ask it to be banned...but I would also never bat an eye at a peanut (or treenut) ban.

I don't ask that it not be banned because it is any less lethal to my child...and I don't ask that it not be banned because she needs to learn to take care of herself and deal with it. The thing is, we would teach her to take care of herself anyways and she is learning to live in a world where milk and milk products are everywhere. I don't ask for it to be banned because I think it would be near impossible. If you sit back and think about it, think about everything your child eats or drinks or snacks on that contains milk (milk, cream, butter, cheese, caramel, nougat, et al) ...check your bread labels and packaged snacks and just take a gander, some people might find it amazing how many things contain milk. Bread, lunchmeat, bacon, crackers, cookies...just to name a few things. However, I think peanuts are far easier to avoid (and yes I am aware of how many things have the equipment or facility warnings on them). No where have I seen mentioned the possible fresh fruits and veggies for snacks and lunches...which are a great snack and side item and far better than prepackaged snacks.

I also don't think that parents of kids with peanut allergies that go to schools with some sort of peanut ban in place feel the risk is completely erased. In my experience, complacency is a huge danger in the world of food allergies. You might go a year without a reaction and people around you get lazy, you get lazy. I constantly remind my DD, my family, our friends.... I liken a peanut ban to the same reason I give my DD a dose of antihistamine every single day. It is a buffer...a cushion. Last school year, even though she was dosed daily with Zyrtec, she still received a total of 100ml of antihistamine at school. I would never think that her daily dose would replace constant vigilance...just as though I can only imagine parents of peanut allergic children would never think a peanut free classroom, lunchroom, school, could be in place of an always watchful eye.

I don't think it's about "where does it is" or "where do we stop". I think it's about *who* needs to be kept safe and *what* needs to take place to make that happen. One person and one allergy at a time. If ever there was a school that had allergies to all top 8 (or 9)...it would be handled and dealt with in a way that kept all the kids safe and all the parents and doctors satisfied with the arrangements put into place and when it comes down to it...the children's safety is what matters. We know things now that wasn't known then...just like kids riding in car seats and new crib slat regulations. We live and we learn.

 

[mjantz]

To me, the big deal is that we aren't talking about peanuts - we are talking about allergies. Are we going to ban wheat, dairy, soy, berries, corn (all which can cause shock reactions), limit recess for bee free school activities, etc. How far are we willing to go - and why should peanut allergies be treated differently than wheat allergies or bee stings? If a school is opening themselves up for a lawsuit about peanuts, aren't they opening themselves up for the same lawsuit for wheat or soy? And if they don't ban wheat, aren't they opening themselves up for a discrimination problem?

Reasonable accommodations can be made for all of these, but an allergen free school does not seem reasonable - nor does the quarantine of an entire classroom to address the allergies of one child.

Very true. Another thing is that peanut butter is a good, inexpensive form of protein. Its one of the main things my DS eats for breakfast (PB toast). If we needed to do away with PB toast we could & would but the alternatives (eggs, bacon, non-nut butters) are more expensive.
My DD8 has an egg allergy. From the age of 4 or 5 she was able to tell you that she had an egg allergy & what that meant (no cooked or raw eggs, no science activities with eggs, etc). I've known 4YOs with a peanut allergy who were able to say 'Does this have nuts in it?' I teach pre-school & by 4-5YOs they can understand 'No food but my food' & that's for all kids, not just any that may have a food allergy. 'Eat your own food & no one elses' is not a difficult lesson to learn IMO & it can be taught at a very young age.

As others have said, I do worry that nut-free schools can set up kids & parents with a false sense of security. My DD has only had 3 reactions in her life & all 3 occured with me in the room (1st reaction where we discovered it, 2nd at a relatives house [she was digging in the trash as a toddler & found some eggshells] & the 3rd was a flu shot [she had never had a reaction until last year]). Looking at those times you'd think that I'm more of a problem than any school system.