Mulan Is Back

[tonilea]

I would send him/them a sympathy card. That would probably be it, that is just me though.

 

[jackdis]

I would send him/them a sympathy card. That would probably be it, that is just me though.

Agree. I would not go. Maybe call in a few weeks. You did not know him that well.

 

[DisneyBrat]

I would go since you were his nurse. I think it would be a kind jesture on your part. Don't go for the reason of maybe sparking a flame but go if you really care about his family. Just my humble opinion. From what you said the family really liked you and appreciated what you did for their loved one.


Lew

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Remember that guy a few weeks ago who never called me back? Well, apparently his dad got sicker and so did his mom- maybe that's why he never called me back Well, I just found out his dad died on Monday and visitation is tonight....should I go or just call and leave him a message?
Mulan

I may be in the minority here but I would go pay my respects. Maybe it is the "Southern" in me but that is what I would do. Don't hang around or anything but just make an appearance and speak briefly to the family (including the son). I think it would mean alot to the family that his "favorite nurse" took the time to pay her respects.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

Yeah, I guess I will just call- I can't send a card because I don't have his address- I could google it, but that would be creepy!
A few of the girls here at work are telling me to go and some are saying to just call. Since I was his nurse....they say it would be appropriate for me to show up, especially since I don't have time to change clothes and would have to go in my scrubs....we'll see......Thanks for the suggestions!
I never doubt you guys
Mulan

 

[mom2grace]

I used to work in ICU (kids), and we had a long term heart patient, spent 100's of days with us, literally.

I was stunned to learn that only 1 nurse went to the calling or funeral when she died. (I am not a nurse, and left the hospital before she died) The one who went left a big impression on the family and they are still in touch.

I would go in your "nurse" role, but I think I would change out of scrubs 1st! Owww, germy!

 

[robinb]

A few of the girls here at work are telling me to go and some are saying to just call. Since I was his nurse....they say it would be appropriate for me to show up, especially since I don't have time to change clothes and would have to go in my scrubs....we'll see......Thanks for the suggestions!

I guess it all depends on how long you were his nurse. A day or two or a week or two. If it was the longer time period, I would go to the wake. If it was shorter, then I would just send a card. If you go to the wake, change in the bathroom at work. It only takes 5-10 minutes.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Remember that guy a few weeks ago who never called me back? Well, apparently his dad got sicker and so did his mom- maybe that's why he never called me back Well, I just found out his dad died on Monday and visitation is tonight....should I go or just call and leave him a message?
Mulan

If I was you, I would go to pay your condolences. He was a patient of yours and you liked him. GO!!

 

[maymom96]

Go and pay your respects.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

I would go since you were his nurse. I think it would be a kind jesture on your part. Don't go for the reason of maybe sparking a flame but go if you really care about his family. Just my humble opinion. From what you said the family really liked you and appreciated what you did for their loved one.


Lew

I decided to go last night after all. I REALLY REALLY enjoyed talking and meeting and caring for this man and his family. I was only his nurse for 3-4 days but there was just something about him- the stories he told me about his younger days and his family- it was truely and honor and a privilage to get to know him.
The visitation was only till 8, my friend and I got there at 7:30 and we waited in line for over an hour and a half. We were the last of 4 people in line. A few of his grandaughters saw me and remembered me and thanked me for coming: When we finally got into the viewing room, the sons and daughters were in there and his wife (she has terminal brain cancer), anyways as soon as the first sister saw me, she cut through a few people she hugged me and thanked me for coming then she got her other sister and brother (the one I like) and very excitedly told them I was here and the other sister grabbed me and was hugging me so tight for what seemed like hours- I honestly wanted to tell her I could not breath, and her brother, J, standing right there...I gave her my condolences and then J hugged me ,of course he was hugging everyone, so I didn't think much of it- he said he was glad I came and how good it was to see me again and then his sister said "J you must take M over to meet mom!" He said, "oh yes, you never got to meet mom..." my friend and I went over to pay our respects to the dad, while the sisters and J finished hugging the last 2 guests in line. Then he came over and introduced me to his mom- it was actually very sweet and I held her hand and she thanked me for all I did. I gave her my condolences. Then, it was time to leave and J gave me another hug I did get to ask J how he was doing and it wasn't good news whatever he has he said its lethal and theres no cure, just research- I really didn't know what to say. I said what I thought sounded goofy but my friend said it was perfect- I told him not to give up, try the research, you just never know and that he may be the path for someone else with this illness. He agreed. We said our goodbyes.........
I am REALLY glad I went. Apparently, I had made a big impression on this family. And maybe because of what J found out is why he never called...I'm not sure where to go from here. I still really care about J and his illness and even if its just as a friend, I would like to be able to be there for him, maybe that's the nurse in me
Today is the funeral, I'm not going, but I will call J in a few days just to check on him and let him know if he has any questions or just needs to talk he can call me.
Mulan

 

[cherjp]

Hi Mulan, I am so glad you went , you have obviously made an enormous impression on J and his family, you should be so proud of yourself because you are obviously a truly wonderful nurse, call him in a few days , its sad that J has a terminal illness , but you never know you becoming his friend might just be what he needs. take care.

cheryl

 

[jackdis]

HOw are the kiddos?? Have you talked to them again?

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

HOw are the kiddos?? Have you talked to them again?

I didn't get to talk to them last night, DAMM never answered the phone. I called their cell and his house 2x- no answer. The night before last, I talked to them and they sounded happy but said they were ready to come home DD said that DAMM was gonna take them to an amusement park- HAHA he'd have to take his sister and/ or GF just to help him "watch" the kids and he'd have to pay everyones way....for the kids sake, I hope he does take them, but he's the type who hates crowds and whats he gonna do when DS runs this way and DD runs that way- its just too much stress on him HAHAHA We'll see.............
Mulan

 

[robinb]

I'm glad you went, it sounds like it was the right thing to do.

FWIW, I would cut back to only one call to the kids. There is no reason to call more than once because he's either not available to answer it or he's dodging you. Calling more than once makes you look desperate and a ready target to be jerked around over the phone visitation by him.

 

[mla1977]

I'm not sure about cutting back. My cell doesn't register calls that I've missed if it is in a bad area. I know that she will have her phone record to prove that she tried to call, but if the kids don't see missed calls from her, they might get upset and that will make them an easy target for his manipulation.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

I'm glad you went, it sounds like it was the right thing to do.

FWIW, I would cut back to only one call to the kids. There is no reason to call more than once because he's either not available to answer it or he's dodging you. Calling more than once makes you look desperate and a ready target to be jerked around over the phone visitation by him.

My attorneys suggested that I call their cell and his house at least 2x between 7-9pm- to show that I attempted to call, and then tried later. Sure, he is dodging me and the kids knew I would call every night reguardless of what DAMM may tell them. My atty from co highly suggested I call EVERY NIGHT, since JTB told DAMM that EVERYTIME I CALL, HE BETTER HAVE THE CHILDREN AVAILABLE. Now since, I did send their cell, there is no reason that they should not be available to answer- signal is sluggish in places down in o but not obsolete. Sure this may be a trap for DAMM but he's the one that's walking in and closing the door I am only doing what my attys suggested.
Mulan

 

[robinb]

My attorneys suggested that I call their cell and his house at least 2x between 7-9pm- to show that I attempted to call, and then tried later. Sure, he is dodging me and the kids knew I would call every night reguardless of what DAMM may tell them. My atty from co highly suggested I call EVERY NIGHT, since JTB told DAMM that EVERYTIME I CALL, HE BETTER HAVE THE CHILDREN AVAILABLE.

Nevermind. Please follow your attorney's advise.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

You know there are days that I really don't want to be a nurse anymore. Then I get that one patient who just makes it all worth while and you're back on your feet again.
Well, its been a few weeks since this special patient, but last night at the funeral- I saw what an impact I had on the family as his nurse and well, its all worth it again. And honestly, I didn't do much medically for this patient, I just answered the family's questions the best I could, gave them my time and my hope for his wellness- its what I do with all my patients, but for some reason this patient had more of an impact on my life.
I think it was his JOY that he had for his family. I saw something in him that I was missing in my family and I began and still am sharing that JOY I have for my own family. There is a sense of pride and love that overflows from ones heart when you get to that happy peaceful place. May he Rest in the Peace of Jesus' loving arms.
Mulan

 

[LoveKermit]

It's not quite the same, but I'm a teacher and I understand feeling beat down and how hard you're working with little or no reward. Then something happens that renews your faith in the career. I totally understand. Stay strong.

 

[Frankiesmom]

Okay- maybe shouldn't have been so harsh- Just really enough of the drama already!