Mom and son trip: restroom question...

[tmli]

My ds is a couple of months shy of 7 and has never been in the mens washroom by himself. I travel alone with my son often as my dh is usually working and never travels.

I can tell you we are probably at least a couple of yrs away from solo bathroom visits. He has a number of issues that make it not possible for him to do this, these 'disabilities' are not physical and therefore not obvious to others.

I ask that if you are on the other side of this debate that you stop and consider there may be a very good reason for a 7-10 yr old boy to be in the womans washroom (besides his personal safety which is also important). Because I know my son would be very hurt and humiliated if someone made a rude remark/comment.

I don't know why we are so quick to judge others and their views, when we haven't walked in their shoes.

 

[Disneygrl75]

I am taking my almost 7 year old DS to WDW in October (his first trip). I would never even THINK of letting my son go into a men's room alone. He does go into the men's room when we are out with one of my brothers, but most of the time he goes into the women's restroom with me. Seven is far too young, IMO, to send a child into any public restroom alone. As another poster pointed out, just because it is WDW does not mean the dangers of the real world cease to exist. On the subject of family bathrooms, if we were near one and he told me he needed to go, by all means we would use it, but if there was not one nearby, I would not risk an accident by hauling him across the park to get to one. No one has ever seemed to be bothered by my taking him with me, and as so many of you have said, if they did have a problem with it, TOO BAD!

Colleen

 

[momofoneplustwins]

I have a nine yr.old and two 6yr.olds (all boys). Depending on the situation/particular restroom I take everyone with me or send oldest into mens room with his two brothers. I do hold the "it's been enough time count in my head" ready to open the door if needed. I also have told my oldest to watch out in the restroom (without scary details), get in and get out. So on our trip (esp.now that some have noted the in and outs of the wdw restrooms) I may take all of them in with me and I dare someone to look at me funny.

I also will add that our kids have some special considerations that don't manifest outwardly. The top being thier innocence as well as some delays and immuturity (mostly from speech delays).

 

[Whosemom]

We're just hitting this issue, too, with my 7yo DD and husband. I work evenings and they run around alot. At a big busy place like wdw it would be a matter of finding those companion rooms or dashing into one of the nicer restaurants, where he could moniter at THE door. I think he has her check and report that its empty when he lets her go by herself now. (not that I'd let them go to wdw without me!!!! ) But we have often wished the men had all stalls, because then it wouldn't be an issue. A boy in the ladies room wouldn't bother me at all. as long as they wipe the seat when they're done LOL

Its a two minute thing. I hope no one would let a thing like that ruin their day, or ruin a kids day (or whole vacation, if they then dread having to go...) If you are one that thinks they shouldn't be there, try to remember its not the kids choice, and anything you say will hurt the kid. Think a rude thought about the mom, then "fogeddaboutit"

Micki

 

[Disney845]

Originally posted by skiwee1
Personally I would take him with you. My kids' safety is much more important then making others uncomfortable. Who is going to get uptight about a 7 y/o in the bathroom anyway? I know it wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't care what anyone else thought. As long as he isn't peeking under the door then what is the harm?

Look, I wasn't trying to "get into it" with anyone on here. I said what I said, and it is my opinion that a seven year old is a little old for a women's restroom. I also said that it is important to think of the comfort of others. The restroom does say "Women" on it, as another poster pointed out...not "women and whoever they want to bring in with them." I did not in any way say that single traveling parents should never bring a child of the opposite sex into a restroom with them. Only that if there are other options, such as the family restrooms, then I believe those should be given priority consideration. I agree that in this day and age it is scary and sad that children can not go into a restroom by themselves, without fear of "bad" people lurking around. I never once said in my post to just send your son into a Men's restroom alone and unprotected. Some of you are getting very uptight about this and the comments by another poster. I believe that she (and I) can be of the opinion that seven is a little old for a trip into a women's restroom without having to be prosecuted for that opinion just because we do not ourselves have male sons who we travel alone with. Yes the safety and security of your sons should be placed above the comfort level of other grown women, but that does not mean that if you have other available avenues (the family restrooms) that you could not make use of those and prevent some uncomfortableness whenever possible. Maybe none of you would be uncomfortable with having a seven year old in a women's restroom (and if you read my post you can see that I never once stated I was either) but I assure you there are people who would feel uncomfortable in that situation.

I would never say anything rude or hurtful to someone in the restroom, I really don't know where some of you are getting this stuff. I only wanted to make it known that there are other options for single traveling parents then bringing opposite sex children into restrooms with them. If those are available for use, and it would prevent anyone (child, parent, other bathroom users) from any level of discomfort then why should they not be used, other than in emergency situation when looking for or getting to that bathroom makes it unattainable?

Personally to me this debate is not over whether a seven year old should be allowed to use the Men's room alone, but over the appropriateness of a child of that age being in a women's restroom. Putting aside all issues of safety, when is too old to be in an opposite sex restroom? Seven, nine, or as one poster mentioned 15?? That is ridiculous in my opinion. A fifteen year old should never be in a women's restroom because their "mommy" is scared to let them "go-it-alone" If you can't be bothered to use a family restroom then you really have no business traveling alone. By the age of 15 a young man has no doubt been exposed to certain "sexual" experiences, which makes his presence in the women's restroom all the more uncomfortable for the women involved. Heck these days by the age of 10 most boys would no doubt at least know about sex and the physical differences in men's and women's bodies.

 

[ZachnElli]

I say let the boy in with the mother. 7 is WAY too young in a place as busy WDW and I have an 8 year old ds! He does not "peak" he knows better and thinks it's gross! And for those of you who think you can "plan" so it does not happen, well good for you and your children with iron clad bladders! My ds has always had a weak bladder, just like his dad and he doesn't know far in advance he has to go and yes, we take him in and 20 minutes later he might have to go again so bad that he actually peed his pants and he was 7!! (car ride in the middle of nowhere) Don't feel weird having your boy with you at all! Like he wants to spend all day at WDW peaking through the ladies' bathroom stalls! NOT! LOL!

 

[alwaysmom]

Just returned from DW with 2 DS's (5 & 7) and DH. I took my sons into the restroom with me many, many times and never once did I even feel that anyone was offended (not that it would have mattered), plus there were other moms with sons (which appeared to be the same age) in there at the same time.

We only found one family restroom (AK). Even though DH was there, we did go in different directions with 1 DS in tow for different rides.


As far as peaking is concerned can't say I've ever seen anyone (male or female) with there nose pressed against the crack of the door or underneath the stall.

I have on occassion allowed my 7 year old to go in the mens rooms alone. RULE: I hold door open a crack while he goes in and tells me if anyone is in there, if so we wait, if not he goes. But can't imagine finding a restroom at DW vacant.

For peace of mind and less worry take him with you. Besides in the event he needs to sit he won't be able to reach the covers, and I cannot imagine my 7 yr old lining the toilet with paper. lol

 

[deb305]

Like it or not, Disney World is about children. As such restrooms will be filled with them, of both genders. I worked with child victims of sexual assault for 16 years , and met enough cases of stranger assaults(pedophiles) to keep my little DS and DD with me when I or they go to restroom.
If you think taking a boy into a womens restroom causes commotion you should see the beads of panic on my husbands upper lip when he was alone with our 5 year old daughter at WDW and she had to go. (Yes, he did think about the "what is a little dehydration" trick to avoid the situation).
I don't mind 7 year old boys in the restroom, only unattended ones. Frankly, after checking to make sure there are no handicap people in line, we wait our turn outside of the handicap restroom. We use it as fast as we can and get out.

 

[Talking Hands]

Originally posted by Jordan's MOM
I can't belive that you don't belive a 7 year old would peak! Yes he is going to peak! At that bug going across the floor, at that automatic toilet as tries to figure out how to make it flush again, at the hand drier as he sees how many times he can push it before mom yells at him, and at the mirror to see if he can see himself yet and if he can, how many silly faces he can make.Seven year old little boys are inocent! That why we have to protect them by taking them in to the bathroom with us when necessary. Yep, raising a DS, have 4 DNs and have taught young children for too many years. The adults might have a problem but not the kids. Do whatever is needed to keep them safe .


Jjordan's mom

Sorry but I am going to completely disagree on this one. Seven year old boys are not necessarily innocent. NOT AT ALL! My daughter was molested by a 7yo boy at school at that age. I will never again believe that 7 you boys are innocent. The harm that did inpacted her for many years after and she required therapy to deal with it.
As far I am concerned 7 yo boys don't belong in the ladies room ever. Take them to a companion bathroom or send them to the men's room but I wouldn't want them anywhere near if I had a young granddaughter. It can happen far too quickly.

 

[LMHB]

That was me who posted about the 15-year olds. And yes, I was joking. My sons are now 5, 3, and 8 months. But even at 15 I may send them in together.

I was shocked to see the descriptions of boys at different ages, in the opinions of the two posters who think 7 is too old. Likely to molest at 7? Knowledgeable about sex at 10? Sexual experiences at 15? What kind of boys do you know? Maybe you are so uncomfortable with boys because you are not a mother of boys and just don't know much about them. I thought a good point was made about refraining from comments or looks which might spoil the boys' day....as I said before, they certainly don't WANT to be in there, but it si our responsibility to keep them safe. Case closed.

 

[mcnuss]

Let us please not forget what SueM in MN told us about the "family" restrooms - they really are not. They are the only restrooms where people who use wheelchairs can get all the way in. The stalls for the handicapped in the main restrooms are too small. So if you choose to use one of these, since they are "singles" and no one else could get in, please leave an adult outside to watch out for a person with a disability who might need it. It's not easy getting around in WDW in a wheelchair, and it may have taken the person a long time to get to that bathroom... And as we all know, sometimes little kids can dawdle in there...

 

[skiwee1]

Originally posted by Talking Hands
Sorry but I am going to completely disagree on this one. Seven year old boys are not necessarily innocent. NOT AT ALL! My daughter was molested by a 7yo boy at school at that age. I will never again believe that 7 you boys are innocent. The harm that did inpacted her for many years after and she required therapy to deal with it.
As far I am concerned 7 yo boys don't belong in the ladies room ever. Take them to a companion bathroom or send them to the men's room but I wouldn't want them anywhere near if I had a young granddaughter. It can happen far too quickly.

I still don't see the harm in letting a 7 y/o boy come into the ladies room with his mom whether he is innocent or not. What is all this talk about peeking anyway? A 7 y/o isn't going to do anything to anyone in the restroom. And so what if he peeks! He is only going to see my big old butt! My 4 y/o DD last year peeked under the wall into the next stall. I was mortified! It happened so quickly! Thankfully the lady next door said, "Hi there!" So it happens with girls or boys. Believe me, I made sure this didn't happen again but was the lady traumatized by that experience? Of course not. I apologized to her and made Emma do the same. The lady was extremely nice about the entire incident. The exact same way I would have reacted. The companion bathrooms are far and few between and often with huge lines, especially the one at Epcot. There are no family restrooms at MK so that leaves the ladies rooms. I say use it. It is no one elses business why you choose to bring your 7 y/o in. As far as some having disabilities unseen, really, why should that matter? You do what you feel is right!

 

[tmli]

Imagine suggesting you don't want a 7yr old boy anywhere near a womans washroom if you had a young granddaughter. What exactly do you think my son is going to do? Where do you think I'll be while he's doing it?

Really, this has gotten so out of hand. My kid is going into the bathroom to use it, that's it. 7 yr old children may be curious whether they are male or female. I've been peaked at under the door by a 6yr old little girl.

Having a child molested at school is devastating, however is quite different then accompanying mom to the bathroom.

 

[campingcorgi]

Originally posted by Talking Hands
My daughter was molested by a 7yo boy at school at that age. I will never again believe that 7 you boys are innocent.

So sorry to hear about your daughter. Most likely that 7-year-old boy had already been molested, too.

Remember--we are talking about an adult female accompanying a young male child into the female restroom--not about sending one in alone.

 

[mcnuss]

How many of us would allow our DD's to go into the women's restroom unaccompanied at age 7?

Mine is almost 9, and I have just begun to let her go into the restroom alone in restaurants - but only if I can clearly see the door and I know that there are no other exits. Otherwise, in a mall, theme park, anywhere crowded, we go together. And if I just have to go, and she does not, she still to come in with me and wait where I can see her shoes!!

 

[Memaw2Wm]

Originally posted by mcnuss
How many of us would allow our DD's to go into the women's restroom unaccompanied at age 7?

My granddaughter is 6 and it will be a few more years before I let her go to the restroom alone and then only if I can see the restroom from where I am. Better safe than sorry ... that's my motto!

Cheryl

 

[Talking Hands]

I will probably just take a grandchild with me to the companion restroom. And mcnuss before you comment about what they are for, I am in a power wheelchair anyway so I often use the companion bathroom as it is easier to bring the chair into that a regular handicapped bathroom. Also frequently I find the handicapped stalls used by parents for their convenience any way so what good is it having them anyway. I can't count the times I have ended up having to change clothes because I wet myself waiting for a handicapped stall being used by a parent and their children, but that is another problem.

 

[Baloo]

I'm the mother of a 9yr old son and a 10 yr old step son.When they are together I have no problem with them using a Men's Room...they have a buddy just in case something would happen.When I'm alone with Erich I go situation by situation.I took him into the Ladies Room on our trip to VA to pick up Jon up this weekend because I didn't feel it was a great place for him to be alone...Joe was pumping gas and didn't have to use the restroom.Erich baulked at the idea but he went!

Bringing a boy into a Ladies Room is no biggie especially at WDW! I figure when Erich starts being interested in girls will be the day he quits going into a Ladies Room for good.But believe me this Mommy will be as close as possible to the men's room door to see if he needs me!

This reminds me of a"Boy was my face RED " incident that happened to me when I was in Florida last summer.We went to the Kissimee Walmart to pick up some milk etc...I needed to use the Ladies Room as we were leaving.EVERY Walmart I have EVER been in has the Ladies on the LEFT the Men's Room on the RIGHT up in the front of the store.Welllllllllllllll I go walking in the restroom...as I go in I'm thinking "Gee there'hardly any stalls in this restroom"...then I notice the MAN standing at the urinal!!!!!!! OMG!!! He was as surprised as I was!!! I came FLYING out of there!!! Joe and the boys had realized what I had done AFTER I had shut the door and were giggling there heads off as I came out! Now EVERYTIME we go to Walmart Joe razes me about this...shouting at me as I go in..."Check the door Honey!"!! I have had the entire Ladies Room laughing telling them about my past indiscretion!! OY! LOL!!!

 

[Bird-Mom]

Take him in with you! His safety is worth so much more than the remote possibility of making some woman that you will likely never see again uncomfortable.

I would not let my dd go alone at 7 years either. No way, not in this world.

 

[welovedis]

CaseyJr-

Do you think it would be a problem (ladies??) to take him into the "ladies" restroom with me?

Absolutely no problem at all with me. I wouldn't let my 6 yo DS in the men's bathroom alone and if a family/companion restroom were not available, then he would be coming with me.

Feedback??

Well, I guess you got that already, probably more than you bargained for, lol! This topic always seem to bring out lots of extremes in some responses, but I would say you have to go with your gut. DS has only gone into a public restroom alone at our church (while church was in session and I knew he was the only one in there) since he is one that will dawdle and fool around on his own. When he comes in with me he goes straight into the stall, does his business and meets me at the sinks where he is washing his hands and not fooling around. I talk to him about this before we go out when I know it will be just me and him and he knows what is expected from him.

On the subject of peeking, I have been peeked at by girls and boys and even women waiting to get into the stall that can't seem to find anywhere else to look but the crack in the door. If they really want a look at my big butt, so be it! LOL

Also-to address the 7 yo & the molestation issue, I feel badly for your family, obviously. Because this situation occurred it must really be difficult to view any young boy with bias. However, in my experience most 7 yo boys and girls are very innocent and there is nothing wrong with that.

I always try to remember that judging someone isn't my job. If someone wants to bring their child in with them that is their choice and they are the only person who can make that choice.
Another comment I want to make has to do with using the h/c stall. DH did this recently as he is recovering from an accident and needs the grip bars to sit down and use the toilet. He had DS with him at the time so they were both in the h/c stall. From what they said he was in there for a while before finishing up and they came out to find someone in a power chair waiting. My DH is hearing impaired and did not hear the person making (more than 1 ) rude comments, but my son did hear them. When they finally said, "what are you, deaf?", my 6yo DS turned and said, "My dad is deaf but if you want me to tell him what you said I can." With that, the person rolled back into the stall with no apology. My DS told me what happened when they got home and said the person was using bad words, etc... Not a good way to make an impression on a young boy. So I say, think before you speak--just like another poster said. If you disagree with taking kids in a restroom, don't do it--just don't pass on your judgement to me and mine.

Sorry this is so long!