LET THE FLAMES BEGIN>>>adult only dining

[CherCrazy]

The main problem here is the adults who allow their children to run around the tables and engage in other activity that is inappropriate for ANY restaurant. If I was at Chili's in my neighborhood, I would not expect that someone's children could just run screaming through the restaurant or be throwing food or coming up to my table, etc. I do not expect that someone will allow their children to run screaming down the aisle of an airplane, which is behavior that I have seen. What this means is that there can and should be an expectation by others that adults will know what is appropriate to allow their children to do in public places where some decorum is called for (obviously this would not apply to parks, playgrounds or other places where running around is encouraged).

DH and I were at Fultons for a late night dinner in November. We were subjected to a very noisy group with small kids running around, screaming, crying, throwing things, etc. A couple that was seated near them left due to the commotion. What I couldn't understand was why the restaurant didn't tell them to be quiet. Where the heck was the manager?

How sad that people are so classless and clueless as to think that type of behavior does not affect others.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

You mean, the breast-feeding in public, co-sleeping, signature restaurant taking parent club? I thought I was the only one.

I do all of this. I didn't realize feeding my baby was included in the bad behavior category, LOL. I don't like CONTINUALLY screaming children, the ones who are having 30-minute meltdowns while the parents either sit oblivious OR yell at them (I HATE THAT!), but apart from being totally unacceptable (running and screaming, foul language, etc.) I think "normal" kid behavior is to be expected in the restaurants. And for my son that means eating (BREASTFEEDING!)...hee hee where do I sign up for the new group mentioned above???

 

[wdw4life]

So without reading this thread, that experience would have cemented it in my mind that interacting with a baby is acceptable.

It's acceptable-if the other person wants the interaction. Some people enjoy it, others don't. I, myself, have never inititated it but, if I child starts talking to me or waving, I'll respond to it. Do I particularly want to? No, but I don't want to hurt the child's feeling either so as long as it's minimal I'll play along. It's when this goes on for a protracted length of time I start getting annoyed.

 

[lyeag]

 

[chobie]

 

[justhat]

It's acceptable-if the other person wants the interaction. Some people enjoy it, others don't. I, myself, have never inititated it but, if I child starts talking to me or waving, I'll respond to it. Do I particularly want to? No, but I don't want to hurt the child's feeling either so as long as it's minimal I'll play along. It's when this goes on for a protracted length of time I start getting annoyed.

This is something I never would have known. Maybe because nothing like that bothers me, but also because so many people do it and seem to enjoy interacting with a baby. So like I said previously, if my child waving to you is bothering, or in any way interfering with your meal, please tell me! That is the only way for me to know to stop the behavior. This behavior happens everyday with my daughter, though usually initiated by other adults, not Madison, and we've always been met with smiles and compliments, so I honestly wouldn't think to stop my daughter from waving to you unless I knew you wanted me to do that. I guess I'd be labled rude by some standards for not controlling her, but a simple "I'm trying to eat my meal in peace" would clue me in to your annoyance.

 

[wdw4life]

This is something I never would have known. Maybe because nothing like that bothers me, but also because so many people do it and seem to enjoy interacting with a baby. So like I said previously, if my child waving to you is bothering, or in any way interfering with your meal, please tell me! That is the only way for me to know to stop the behavior. This behavior happens everyday with my daughter, though usually initiated by other adults, not Madison, and we've always been met with smiles and compliments, so I honestly wouldn't think to stop my daughter from waving to you unless I knew you wanted me to do that. I guess I'd be labled rude by some standards for not controlling her, but a simple "I'm trying to eat my meal in peace" would clue me in to your annoyance.

I would never want to discourage a child from being friendly, which is why I will always respond to overtures. Shy children miss out on a lot (I know from experience) so even when I don't want to play along I still will and with a smile.

On a side note Madison looks adorable!

 

[justhat]

Thanks! And it's great that you're good-natured about it, even though it's bothersome. I often feel large groups/parties can get too loud for me, but usually smile at them, as I see they're having a good time so I let them enjoy themselves and go on with my meal.

But if this (or anything my kid, or any kid, does) bothers you enough that it will cause you to have an unhappy meal, please tell me. I won't be offended and will gladly get my child to 'behave'. I don't intentionally want to ruin anyone's meal, but if I don't know my child is bothering you, I can't correct it.

 

[dwkwootton]

What a way to start the day ... I stopped here to see how this thread was going and while I'm glad to see that a happy medium seems to be reached, I'm kinda shook about the club affiliations. Which group am I in, if any, if I am: very pro breast feeding in public, against co-sleeping, and split (but leaning away from based on everything previously discussed) on little guys at signature restaurants?

 

[chobie]

What a way to start the day ... I stopped here to see how this thread was going and while I'm glad to see that a happy medium seems to be reached, I'm kinda shook about the club affiliations. Which group am I in, if any, if I am: very pro breast feeding in public, against co-sleeping, and split (but leaning away from based on everything previously discussed) on little guys at signature restaurants?

Well, we at the BFPCSSRT, tend to have a bit of the live and let live mentality, but you are welcome as long as you can refrain from reiterating urban legends about the 500lb drunken heroine addict who rolled over on a co-sleeping baby.

 

[Wee Annie]

I'm having trouble with club affiliations too. Always was the one who "floated" around from clique to clique. How about a club for people who, by and large, want to let everyone have the freedom to "do their own thing" as long as it's not overly inconsiderate to others?


And by the way, how does a heroin addict get to be 500 pounds?

 

[chobie]

I'm having trouble with club affiliations too. Always was the one who "floated" around from clique to clique. How about a club for people who, by and large, want to let everyone have the freedom to "do their own thing" as long as it's not overly inconsiderate to others?


And by the way, how does a heroin addict get to be 500 pounds?

My bad. I just amalgamated all the co-sleeping horror stories into one for the sake of brevity. I will gladly disband the BFPCSSRT and join your FTDTOTALOITO club. I'll bring the cookies.

Edited for bad spelling mistakes.

 

[dwkwootton]

Oh dear, I had thought I was a member of PPP till I found out that they go anti breast feeding in public. Dare I ask what BFP(etc) and FTD(etc) stand for?

 

[dwkwootton]

Ahhhhh, posted a minute too soon. Got the FTD one. Could I suggest dropping the "O" toward the end and make it inconsiderate (as opposed to overly inconsiderate) to others?

 

[chobie]

Oh dear, I had thought I was a member of PPP till I found out that they go anti breast feeding in public. Dare I ask what BFP(etc) and FTD(etc) stand for?

Breast Feeding Public Co Sleeping Signature Restaurant Taking was my club.
Wee Annie's is the Freedom To Do Your Own Thing As Long As It Is Not Overly Inconsiderate To Others Club.

Edited to add: Confused about who suggested what club. I'll still bring the cookies.

 

[chobie]

Ahhhhh, posted a minute too soon. Got the FTD one. Could I suggest dropping the "O" toward the end and make it inconsiderate (as opposed to overly inconsiderate) to others?

You could suggest it but prepare for a discussion on what the definition of inconsiderate is and what the definition of is is.

 

[dwkwootton]

Suggestion withdrawn.

 

[chobie]

Suggestion withdrawn.

Shall I bring chocolate chip, peanut butter or oatmeal raisin?

 

[chobie]

What a way to start the day ... I stopped here to see how this thread was going and while I'm glad to see that a happy medium seems to be reached, I'm kinda shook about the club affiliations. Which group am I in, if any, if I am: very pro breast feeding in public, against co-sleeping, and split (but leaning away from based on everything previously discussed) on little guys at signature restaurants?

I want you to know I ONLY rejoined this thread so as to not have you feel left out of the clubs. My apologies to everyone.

 

[Ariel Wanna-be]

Now wait just a cotton pickin' minute!

The PPP isn't anti-BFIP! At least the chapter that I belong to isn't. I never did it myself (I'm rediculously modest), but I wholeheartedly agree with the right of other moms to do so.

Actually, I think I could join Chobie's club. But I'm not really sure if I'm pro-CS...my son did spend many nights in our bed, but mostly he slept in his own room. Does that make me a pro-CSer? *sigh* Why does pigeon-holing have to be so darn difficult?

Annie I want to join your club too...BTW - shouldn't you be packing?!

Becky
pro-BFIP PPP, BFPCSSRT, FTDTOTALOITO member