Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[Pea-n-Me]

Just out, in case anyone here wants to watch it:

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Yeah, neither are we to say what’s best for him if it’s what HE wishes.

Boy, some frosty people here who would deny a dying man his one wish.

Sometimes whether it's perceived as the wrong thing by others it may be the right thing by that one person; it's also a decision that may change over time (and yes it could be too late at that point).

To give a personal note my sister does not talk to my mom's side of the family. When my grandfather passed away in 2009 she did come to the visitation and at that point it had been 6 years since she had seen anyone from my mom's side, when my grandmother passed away in 2019 she did not come to the visitation and at that point it had been 10 years since she had seen anyone from my mom's side. I do not speak to my father but were he on his death bed or had died I'd be there in a heartbeat and can confidently say that.

Not that I don't see where you're coming from because it seems like a simple easy request to fufill and for you and others on the outside it may look like a wrong decision or to use your words "frosty people". When it comes to breakdowns in blood relations no one wins; I won't pretend that I've won just by having a very toxic person out of my life for the time being because I haven't, it's the decision I had to make for me. I won't pretend that my sister won just by having a toxic person out of her life because she hasn't, it's the decision she felt she had to make for her. I won't judge my sister for not coming to our grandmother's visitation even if I know I couldn't have done what she did and I won't do that when the time comes for my father. But I do see how hard it can be for people to come to grips with it--my mom had a hard time understanding why my sister didn't come even though I could.

**I say visitation because the funeral was held out of state

 

[Searc]

Yeah, neither are we to say what’s best for him if it’s what HE wishes.

Boy, some frosty people here who would deny a dying man his one wish.

Who said he's dying? He's claimed to have two heart attacks, with no proof. There is no proof he is dying. He's a con man who lies for sympathy. Seems it is working with some.

 

[Lilsia]

]



I realized the other night that’s probably some of why I feel for the dad - he reminds me of someone. And I will not be surprised to read that he has passed away. No one says they have to be best buds. But, for me, his being able to at least meet his son in law and grandson would go a long way. I also feel like you do - I’ve had a lot go on in my life and I believe in the concept of forgiveness, if only so we don’t have to hold bitterness in our hearts. But that is just me, I know it’s not for everyone.

It would be a lot easier to forgive them if they didn't keep opening up their trap and bad mouthing her. How many chances should people get? If you keep making my life a misery, I am not going to have anything to do with you. No one deserves to be treated like crap, by their family no less. I don't know how you can keep defending them.

 

[tcufrog]

No, you don't understand it. Neither do I. Meghan doesn't owe either of us an explanation. Frankly, she may not even owe him an explanation. At this point, they are both better off without each other in their lives and should both just move on.

What a grand world it would be if everyone would just move on.

That's exactly what I meant. I never said that Meghan's dad was abusive. I was using my own life to explain why I refuse to judge Meghan for how she's acting towards her father. I know if at some point I choose to cut my father off from my kids that plenty of people will probably judge me negatively. They won't know or understand why though before they judge me. All we know is what we're told. She might be an awful person or he might. They both might be awful. I have no way of knowing so I choose to assume that she has her reasons.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I'm not watching the ridiculous story that Mr. Markle has put out as I don't encourage bad behavior. I certainly don't encourage emotionally manipulation. In the end this is emotional manipulation plain and simple. I don't give a damn if he is "dying" because in the end we are all dying. I think it speaks much more about him that he puts that garbage out especially now. It in the end just fuels those that have a personal bias against Meghan for whatever reason.

If I was a betting person, I imagine that the dad and siblings wanted their "fair" share from the money she was making when acting and then felt they hit the "jackpot" when she started going around with Harry. She cut off the gravy train and they got vindictive. They have shown over and over they will sell themselves to anyone that bids for a story.

Most people don't have a real idea of dysfunction and unfortunately I could write books upon books about family dysfunction. They automatically think it's on the child to "do the right thing" or "honor" that parent when some people just plain and simple ****ty people.

I understand probably now more than ever the attraction they had being two people from complete messed up families and still trying to make a better world around them. I came from dysfunction and married someone also carrying scars from his own messed up family. We were attracted by knowing we came from broken but were not broken and determined to make the world better.

 

[mommasita]

It seems this man comes out of the woodwork every time they are more in the public eye. I do not believe in coincidences, and Yes we are all dying.

My abusive father did this this manipulation garbage to me for years, I never “forgave” him, but I spoke to him, I am no better for it. Boy does this man seem to be a master at it. My sister never forgave him, never spoke to him, never came to his funeral, Refused to accept A dime of her inheritance, and has less Grey hair and stress than me.

Just because Meghan has not put out her side does not make him daddy of the century, to me it’s repulsive, he needs to stop talking, the more he does, the less and less credibility he has to me.

 

[luvsJack]

I think everyone's opinion is based on their own experiences. Its hard not to do that.

But, I think both sides deserve the right to be heard. I am unsure why everything she says has to be truth and everything he says has to be a lie. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.

From the first article that Pea posted, he sounds hurt and he is lashing out in a very unproductive way. But maybe he sees it as a way to hurt her in the same way he is hurt. He should be an adult and not do that but doesn't make him evil either.

They were close at one time. This isn't a case of "he has always been toxic". That closeness is what is making it painful for both sides of the equation. They need to talk privately and hash it out.

Cutting people out of your life is not always the answer.

 

[snappy]

I think everyone's opinion is based on their own experiences. Its hard not to do that.

But, I think both sides deserve the right to be heard. I am unsure why everything she says has to be truth and everything he says has to be a lie. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.

From the first article that Pea posted, he sounds hurt and he is lashing out in a very unproductive way. But maybe he sees it as a way to hurt her in the same way he is hurt. He should be an adult and not do that but doesn't make him evil either.

They were close at one time. This isn't a case of "he has always been toxic". That closeness is what is making it painful for both sides of the equation. They need to talk privately and hash it out.

Cutting people out of your life is not always the answer.

I agree with you.

 

[gwynne]

I think everyone's opinion is based on their own experiences. Its hard not to do that.

But, I think both sides deserve the right to be heard. I am unsure why everything she says has to be truth and everything he says has to be a lie. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.

From the first article that Pea posted, he sounds hurt and he is lashing out in a very unproductive way. But maybe he sees it as a way to hurt her in the same way he is hurt. He should be an adult and not do that but doesn't make him evil either.

They were close at one time. This isn't a case of "he has always been toxic". That closeness is what is making it painful for both sides of the equation. They need to talk privately and hash it out.

Cutting people out of your life is not always the answer.

I agree. I think in this situation the truth is somewhere in the middle.

And along those lines... Is one or the other is pot stirring? Or are they both pot stirring in their own ways?

I guess we'll have to wait and see. Does M settle quietly in Canada, enjoying the beautiful mansion and extremely spacious grounds that afford her lots of privacy from the press? Does she take a break and catch her breath? Or does she quickly go out looking for a conflict? And start back with the threatening lawsuits? And yes, I saw the photos from her "walk the dogs" outing. She was positively beaming. Something odd there to zip to the lawyers, after and declare unhappiness.

My prediction: We will see this song played over and over. She wants the coverage, she doesn't like the kind of coverage she gets, repeat.

How does this all turn out? Who knows? She really needs the publicity, it seems. And maybe her Dad does, too, in his own way. They are more alike than they both realize, I think.

Two things can be true at the same time, even if they are different degrees.

JMO-It would be really nice if these two could choose to have a quiet conversation, sans press. Maybe leave with a little peace and move on.

 

[mommasita]

I agree it’s very personal, and based on our own experiences, but both sides should not be heard. This is private, and should remain so in my opinion, And this is where I say to me he loses credibility.

I never said what she said he said is the truth, , just that her father and his constant need to keep talking, he is not coming across (to me) as being credible.

When people, especially family, accept money to talk regardless if it’s positive or negative, to me, this does Paint you in a good light, not at all.

 

[okeydokey]

Just out, in case anyone here wants to watch it:

Can you imagine living a life where people make documentaries about your relationship with your Father. Wow, those poor people.

Why do we, or anyone "deserve" to hear both sides of the story. We should just mind our own business.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Cutting people out of your life is not always the answer.

I've never met another person in my life nor have I heard one poster on the various threads that have shared their personal stories who have said they haven't tried to do other things prior to just cutting ties with someone. It's perhaps maybe misguided, IMO, to say cutting people out of your life is not always the answer as if the assumption is nothing else was ever done prior to that.

Of course given that these things are always with some things known not I will fully say it's possible someone has done that before I just haven't met nor heard of someone doing it. From all I've heard from or had experience with it was a decision made not lightly and with a multitude of attempts to mend the tear.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I disagree that he should "stop talking". Why should he?

There's been a lot of misinformation about him and intrusion into his life and he wishes to set the story straight. I don't blame him. He didn't ask to be thrust into the spotlight because his daughter married a prince.

I agree with a pp, a little bit better communication from the get go could've averted a lot of these problems.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

I disagree that he should "stop talking". Why should he?

There's been a lot of misinformation about him and intrusion into his life and he wishes to set the story straight. I don't blame him. He didn't ask to be thrust into the spotlight because his daughter married a prince.

I agree with a pp, a little bit better communication from the get go could've averted a lot of these problems.

I disagree. He continues to want that spotlight. And his behavior only makes it more understandable why his daughter isn’t speaking to him.

 

[mommasita]

I disagree that he should "stop talking". Why should he?

There's been a lot of misinformation about him and intrusion into his life and he wishes to set the story straight. I don't blame him. He didn't ask to be thrust into the spotlight because his daughter married a prince.

I agree with a pp, a little bit better communication from the get go could've averted a lot of these problems.

It never was about him, his daughter marrying a prince or anyone, no?
It shouldn’t be about you, he made it about him, and this is what is I see as a martyr. He started it, the Interview, everything. I never read anything about him, bad, good, anything, nothing except him

 

[gwynne]

I disagree. He continues to want that spotlight. And his behavior only makes it more understandable why his daughter isn’t speaking to him.

And she chases the spotlight as well. In a very similar fashion as other actresses who always are watching for the next profitable opportunity. You generally have to be current, relevant to get the work or the endorsement deal.
That's not bad, it's just how that biz works.

 

[Lilsia]

Plus, IDC how you think that your child is selfish, ambitious, snobby, whatever it does not matter. A parent should not bad mouth their kid. The only thing that he should have said to the press is that all he wants for her is her happiness.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Sometimes whether it's perceived as the wrong thing by others it may be the right thing by that one person; it's also a decision that may change over time (and yes it could be too late at that point).

To give a personal note my sister does not talk to my mom's side of the family. When my grandfather passed away in 2009 she did come to the visitation and at that point it had been 6 years since she had seen anyone from my mom's side, when my grandmother passed away in 2019 she did not come to the visitation and at that point it had been 10 years since she had seen anyone from my mom's side. I do not speak to my father but were he on his death bed or had died I'd be there in a heartbeat and can confidently say that.

Not that I don't see where you're coming from because it seems like a simple easy request to fufill and for you and others on the outside it may look like a wrong decision or to use your words "frosty people". When it comes to breakdowns in blood relations no one wins; I won't pretend that I've won just by having a very toxic person out of my life for the time being because I haven't, it's the decision I had to make for me. I won't pretend that my sister won just by having a toxic person out of her life because she hasn't, it's the decision she felt she had to make for her. I won't judge my sister for not coming to our grandmother's visitation even if I know I couldn't have done what she did and I won't do that when the time comes for my father. But I do see how hard it can be for people to come to grips with it--my mom had a hard time understanding why my sister didn't come even though I could.

**I say visitation because the funeral was held out of state

I have a personal note too. I sit with people who are dying all the time. Sometimes they have regrets and wish things could've been different. Oftentimes they even realize they themselves could've made better choices. Isn't that true of all of us? At the end of our lives having peace is a wonderful thing. We all have the ability to help people find peace, and in the process, we can find peace ourselves. But when we're busy in mid-life we don't always see it or make time for it. It's only when we have time to reflect that we realize we maybe could've done things differently; done things better. And not just for others, but for ourselves. Obviously not everyone will be presented with, see, or take, these opportunities.

This is what I see in the Markle situation. We all approach these things from different perspectives. I had issues like these, too. And I am very glad I took the opportunity to come to peace with the situation before it was no longer an option. It wasn't easy, and I still had a lot of work to do around the process. But I don't hold any bitterness in my heart, and for that, I am grateful.

 

[luvsJack]

I've never met another person in my life nor have I heard one poster on the various threads that have shared their personal stories who have said they haven't tried to do other things prior to just cutting ties with someone. It's perhaps maybe misguided, IMO, to say cutting people out of your life is not always the answer as if the assumption is nothing else was ever done prior to that.

Of course given that these things are always with some things known not I will fully say it's possible someone has done that before I just haven't met nor heard of someone doing it. From all I've heard from or had experience with it was a decision made not lightly and with a multitude of attempts to mend the tear.

I never implied that anyone here should not have cut anyone out of their lives. Just that its not the answer for everyone, in every situation.

If its what you needed to do, that is fine. My cousins had to cut their Dad out of their lives. He was hateful and angry and they had no choice. After he had a stroke, they tried to make amends (knowing they would still have to put up his hatefulness until he died) but he wouldn't have it. He died a lonely hateful old man. I don't fault them for what they did. I know they had no choice. That doesn't mean every time someone gets mad at their father that they should also do what my cousins had to do.

There is no one answer for everyone and just like I said, everyone's opinion is based on their own experiences.