Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

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QE2 is my head of state so yes it interests me.
My comment was regarding Americans.
Can you explain why Americans on this thread are so passionate about something that has nothing to do with you?
You all seem to be getting your knickers in a knot

Interested I see. Almost coming to blows like in this thread not so much,
My mother's family came over on the Mayflower. My father's is from Ireland. I have a lot of interest in Great Britain. Also, when I visited London, I fell in love. I think also because we don't have royalty in America, many of us Americans are interested in places that still have royal families.

Is that alright with you?
 



Well, it will be interesting to see what endorsements and businesses they decide to partner with.

They must have some awesome ideas, because choosing to move away means more intrusions and less privacy. That's a big trade-off.
“All of it is toxic to Harry”. Good grief. He is not going to be able to control everyone who takes pictures of them, with cameras or with phones, especially outside of the UK.
 


Thomas Markle continues to be a stand-up guy:

https://pagesix.com/2020/01/22/megh...as-admits-to-lying-but-insists-royals-owe-me/

]

:hug:

I realized the other night that’s probably some of why I feel for the dad - he reminds me of someone. And I will not be surprised to read that he has passed away.:guilty: No one says they have to be best buds. But, for me, his being able to at least meet his son in law and grandson would go a long way. I also feel like you do - I’ve had a lot go on in my life and I believe in the concept of forgiveness, if only so we don’t have to hold bitterness in our hearts. But that is just me, I know it’s not for everyone.

I want to point out that forgiveness does not necessarily equal reconciliation. Forgiveness does not mean you have to subject yourself to more mistreatment. Just because Meghan won’t have contact with her father doesn’t mean she feels bitterness (or anger, or hurt, or remorse...) over the situation. She might, now or eventually, even feel peace or relief to have these negative relationships out of her life. Much like the way people ultimately feel happier after they’ve gotten out of a bad marriage, for example. She might simply feel numb acceptance.

Or, she might go the rest of her life feeling hurt or saddened by the situation, but still recognizing that there’s no healthy way to have a relationship with him. Think of an addict. This substance-abusing family member comes to your house high, exhibits erratic behavior around your children, steals from your medicine cabinet, shows up in the middle of the night with his addict buddies to ask for money, and blows up when you won’t give it to him. You know he could be a different person if he could just get it together and you’ve tried to help him, but he refuses to change. At some point, you’re going to decide the only thing you can do is protect yourself and your family from more of this dysfunction. You might always feel sad about cutting that person off, while also understanding it was the most responsible choice for your family.

Meghan can forgive him, if that’s a concept that’s important to her, but still not want him in her life.

Conversely, if she did choose to resume contact with her father, that wouldn’t necessarily indicate that she wasn’t still feeling anger or bitterness about the situation. And, she could find that welcoming him back into her life might prove to be the most painful or regrettable choice she could make, especially since the decision to do so would now also impact her husband and child.

As far as her father’s feelings on the matter, well, those are his feelings to manage, not hers. If people don’t want to be around him because of the things he’s done, these are the consequences of his actions. Just like the addict example above, he is ultimately responsible for his own choices. You can only push people so far before you push them away completely.

Who knows, Meghan might be doing him a favor by refusing to engage with him anymore. This might be the “rock bottom” he needs to hit to evaluate his behavior and turn things around, though I suspect the damage is already done.
 
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Thomas Markle continues to be a stand-up guy:

https://pagesix.com/2020/01/22/megh...as-admits-to-lying-but-insists-royals-owe-me/



I want to point out that forgiveness does not necessarily equal reconciliation. Forgiveness does not mean you have to subject yourself to more mistreatment. Just because Meghan won’t have contact with her father doesn’t mean she feels bitterness (or anger, or hurt, or remorse...) over the situation. She might, now or eventually, even feel peace or relief to have these negative relationships out of her life. Much like the way people ultimately feel happier after they’ve gotten out of a bad marriage, for example. She might simply feel numb acceptance.

Or, she might go the rest of her life feeling hurt or saddened by the situation, but still recognizing that there’s no healthy way to have a relationship with him. Think of an addict. This substance-abusing family member comes to your house high, exhibits erratic behavior around your children, steals from your medicine cabinet, shows up in the middle of the night with his addict buddies to ask for money, and blows up when you won’t give it to him. You know he could be a different person if he could just get it together and you’ve tried to help him, but he refuses to change. At some point, you’re going to decide the only thing you can do is protect yourself and your family from more of this dysfunction. You might always feel sad about cutting that person off, while also understanding it was the most responsible choice for your family.

Meghan can forgive him, if that’s a concept that’s important to her, but still not want him in her life.

Conversely, if she did choose to resume contact with her father, that wouldn’t necessarily indicate that she wasn’t still feeling anger or bitterness about the situation. And, she could find that welcoming him back into her life might prove to be the most painful or regrettable choice she could make, especially since the decision to do so would now also impact her husband and child.

As far as her father’s feeling on the matter, well, those are his feelings to manage, not hers. If people don’t want to be around him because of the things he’s done, these are the consequences of his actions. Just like the addict example above, he is ultimately responsible for his own choices. You can only push people so far before you push them away completely.

Who knows, Meghan might be doing him a favor by refusing to engage with him anymore. This might be the “rock bottom” he needs to hit to evaluate his behavior and turn things around, though I suspect the damage is already done.
Life can be as difficult, or as easy, as we choose to make it.
 
Growing up, my father was a controlling, abusive drunk. Once I made it clear that he had no power over me anymore, he became much more pleasant to be around and was actually pretty wonderful during my wedding planning and, despite his racism, really nice to my DH. Nevertheless, I vowed to myself that if he ever acted the way he used to act around my kids, I would cut off contact with him. Recently, he has acted a few times in ways that were upsetting for DS8. Afterwards, I told him that when I was a kid I couldn't protect myself from his behavior but that I'm an adult now so I have to power to protect my kids. If he continued to behave that way in front of them, he wouldn't get to see them. His behavior improved after that.

I don't know what's going on between Meghan and her dad but I am not going to judge someone for cutting off ties with a parent. No one had any idea what was going on behind closed doors at my home growing up and we have no idea either what's happened between her and her dad.
 
Growing up, my father was a controlling, abusive drunk. Once I made it clear that he had no power over me anymore, he became much more pleasant to be around and was actually pretty wonderful during my wedding planning and, despite his racism, really nice to my DH. Nevertheless, I vowed to myself that if he ever acted the way he used to act around my kids, I would cut off contact with him. Recently, he has acted a few times in ways that were upsetting for DS8. Afterwards, I told him that when I was a kid I couldn't protect myself from his behavior but that I'm an adult now so I have to power to protect my kids. If he continued to behave that way in front of them, he wouldn't get to see them. His behavior improved after that.

I don't know what's going on between Meghan and her dad but I am not going to judge someone for cutting off ties with a parent. No one had any idea what was going on behind closed doors at my home growing up and we have no idea either what's happened between her and her dad.
By all accounts she had a good relationship with him growing up. They were good up until the time of the wedding. He is not a well man. All he’s asked for is to meet his grandson. If that is too much to ask then I don’t understand it, and I am no stranger to dysfunction.
 
By all accounts she had a good relationship with him growing up. They were good up until the time of the wedding. He is not a well man. All he’s asked for is to meet his grandson. If that is too much to ask then I don’t understand it, and I am no stranger to dysfunction.

No, you don't understand it. Neither do I. Meghan doesn't owe either of us an explanation. Frankly, she may not even owe him an explanation. At this point, they are both better off without each other in their lives and should both just move on.

What a grand world it would be if everyone would just move on.
 
It sounds like her father is a easy mark for less that above board journalist or photographers. And when he is hurt by her actions, he lashes out by doing something else in the press.

It also sounds like they did have a good relationship in the past. So “moving on” isn’t necessarily what is best. He is her father and when he is gone, she may seriously regret not doing her part in solving the problem. She is his daughter so he sounds hurt (could be faking but just taking what he says as truth) and of course she is hurt too. Perhaps the time for texts and phone calls and letters is passed and they need to meet face to face and talk to each other.

I can certainly understand his hurt if she didn’t reach out to him after the wedding or showed no concern for his health.

And I get her hurt for what he has said and done in the press.

But the man had two heart attacks and a major surgery, and is told that it hurt her that he didn’t show? The first and foremost thought should have been on his health.
 
No, you don't understand it. Neither do I. Meghan doesn't owe either of us an explanation. Frankly, she may not even owe him an explanation. At this point, they are both better off without each other in their lives and should both just move on.

What a grand world it would be if everyone would just move on.
Yeah, neither are we to say what’s best for him if it’s what HE wishes.

Boy, some frosty people here who would deny a dying man his one wish. :cold:
 

Yes, the irony is that they say they wish a more normal life, a life away from the chaos and press of being a royal .... and yet this is exactly the opposite of what their future neighbors will endure. Why should they get to disrupt what might be a peaceful community? The article is correct that their neighbors will have photographers and other creepers in their bushes, in their trees, climbing their fences .... that neighbors will constantly call for assistance in removal. If they remain on public streets, sidewalks and land then no one is doing anything wrong but their community is being disrupted.

We had a massive estate in our community that was for sale. Michael Jackson was seriously looking at it. The community went ballistic and made it clear he and all the entourage, photographers and fans were not welcome. In the end he got the message. In a neighboring community Justin Bieber was looking at a home. Again the outrage was huge and he moved on. I suggest that Canada do the same - don't let your community be turned in to something it's not. But I'm not sure Harry is prepared for folks to pull in the welcome mat ... I'm not sure he understands that photos taken in public are allowed .... I'm not sure he really understands anything outside the royal family and it's protections even though he saw it happen with his mother.

I'm thinking they made lots of assumptions of how life will be
VS
getting a good understanding of what it actually will be and taking the proper steps before skipping out.

Of course if they choose a community more like a Hollywood where this kind of stuff is normal, they should be good. They will become just one of many.
 
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