I was yelled at after Finding Nemo - was I wrong?

[Hooked On The Mouse]

How do you say POLITELY "your child is an annoyance to me"? There is no way to put that that isn't going to be upsetting to a parent, and quite frankly I don't believe any parent who says they wouldn't get defensive in that situation. If the noise was really ruining the whole show for them, then they could have approached a cast member DURING the show, who would have dealt with the situation probably more discreetly, and whose job it is to deal with other guests. Then they could have enjoyed the show all they wanted, unless someone had a crying baby somewhere else in the theatre.

 

[livndisney]

Whether or not the mother was right in leaving her child where she was is not the issue that bothers me the most. IMO the rudest people are those who jump on another person without knowing their situation. Also there was no reason whatsoever to mention it after the show was already over, except to try to upset the mother. If it disturbed them that much, it should have been mentioned to a cast member during the show, so it could have been dealt with in a helpful way which hopefully would have satisfied everybody.

So it is Disney's job to entertain and parent? I'm sorry but I disagree. If my child is disturbing others is it my job as the parent to correct the situation. If my child is coughing (or whatever) loudly enough to be noticed (as the OP said) it is my job to remove them.

As I mentioned earlier it may not have been possible for the lady to get to a CM to mention the issue. It sounds as if she too was seated in the handicapped section and may not have had the vison or the mobility to move in the darkened theater (or if she had transferred to a seat and her wheelchair was moved outside).


I don't feel that the lady only mentioned it after the show just to upset the Mom. (I mean who does that?) I think she may have sat through the show hoping the situation would get better, when it didn't she may have felt she had to say something so the parent got the hint that other people where trying to watch a show.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Wouldn't it have been just a close to walk from the boneyard to the firstaid center as it was to get to nemo? In there she could have laid down for a bit.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

Wouldn't it have been just a close to walk from the boneyard to the firstaid center as it was to get to nemo? In there she could have laid down for a bit.

You hit the nail on the head with this one. Really - a 4 yo cough is not the same as a barking seal or an adults cough. It's hard to describe the sound - but we are talking 2 people that heard it out of 500 or so.

That leads in to my next point - where do you go to get out of the humidity????

Restaurant - um no! I am not going to take my coughing child into a restaurant where people are trying to eat.

Store - AK has few stores and most of them are open, not air-conditioned.

First Aid - I am not a complete germ-phobe but if she is getting over a cold do I really want to go into First Aid to encounter more germs when they can't help me anyway? If I thought First-Aid could have helped me in anyway I would have gone there immediately.

Baby Center - I'm sure all the nursing mothers would have appreciated my coughing child around their babies.

Secluded part of the theater - seems like the lesser of all evils in this case.

I knew she wasn't contagious - but people unfamiliar with asthma have no idea and think we are just spreading germs. Asthma IS a disability and she should not be made to stay at the hotel because she is having issues with her asthma. You wouldn't tell a kid with autism not to try to enjoy the parks or a kid with Down's or any other disability so why asthma? She already feels different because she can't do things that other kids do - why make it worse?

 

[GinnyEmma]

Got it. She wanted to see the show, so that was where she took the child. Because first aid could have allowed het to lie down and rest.

 

[crisi]

Whether or not the mother was right in leaving her child where she was is not the issue that bothers me the most. IMO the rudest people are those who jump on another person without knowing their situation. Also there was no reason whatsoever to mention it after the show was already over, except to try to upset the mother. If it disturbed them that much, it should have been mentioned to a cast member during the show, so it could have been dealt with in a helpful way which hopefully would have satisfied everybody.

But you can't control the actions of others. You can control your own. The people who jumped on her are not here to tell "You were out of line." She is here to tell "when you are disrupting other patrons at a performance, you leave."

Is rudeness a scale, or is it binary? - rude or not rude. In this case, you have rude being reacted to with rudeness. Two wrongs don't make a right. If you are rude, and someone is rude in return, its childish to start playing the "but he was meaner than I was" whine. If you are a parent, you know that is likely to end in TWO timeouts.

 

[katla33]

Yes, you should have removed your daughter. No, you are not a bad parent. Hindsight is often 20/20.
I am sorry that your daughter has asthma. That must really stink. However, it is not okay to disturb the rest of the planet because your daughter has a disability. My daughter has ADHD. My son has PDD-NOS and SPD. My other daughter is just a very loud, screechy toddler. This has made for some interesting situations in public but DH and I are very adamant that our kids not disturb others. Sure, we have not always made perfect choices but we try our best.
I don't think the people should have yelled at you. They should have gotten a CM.

 

[JUJU814]

Boy, it's always funny when it comes to issues like this that there are soooo many perfect parents. Give me a break.

good one! I've never found a place on the internet with as many perfect parents as this one..which is why it's THE place to come for parenting advice.

But really..if you ask, you'll get answers! And if you don't want a variety of answers and opinions, best not to ask.

If only we were all just confident in our choices and didn't feel the need to have them validated.

btdt

 

[Mkrop]

good one! I've never found a place on the internet with as many perfect parents as this one..which is why it's THE place to come for parenting advice.

But really..if you ask, you'll get answers! And if you don't want a variety of answers and opinions, best not to ask.

If only we were all just confident in our choices and didn't feel the need to have them validated.

btdt

where did anyone on this entire thread say they were/are the perfect parent? Believe me I have made my share of doozies, but I am also willing to take advice from others as well and if I ask a question I realize I might get an answer I dont want to hear

 

[GinnyEmma]

where did anyone on this entire thread say they were/are the perfect parent? Believe me I have made my share of doozies, but I am also willing to take advice from others as well and if I ask a question I realize I might get an answer I dont want to hear

Perect parents? I agree, no one has made that claim. Is one considered perfect if one is polite to others?

I'm always amazed that people say such stupid things. The op feels like her choice was perfect. Other people think they are correct? That is pretty much how the word turns.

 

[crisi]

How do you say POLITELY "your child is an annoyance to me"? There is no way to put that that isn't going to be upsetting to a parent, and quite frankly I don't believe any parent who says they wouldn't get defensive in that situation. If the noise was really ruining the whole show for them, then they could have approached a cast member DURING the show, who would have dealt with the situation probably more discreetly, and whose job it is to deal with other guests. Then they could have enjoyed the show all they wanted, unless someone had a crying baby somewhere else in the theatre.

You say, like you would in any other circumstances where someone was disturbing you during a performance "I beg your pardon, but we are trying to watch the show." You say this as quietly as possible so as not to disturb any other guests.

You don't tell them what they are doing wrong, or what they should do. You don't accuse them of being bad parents or being rude. You don't mention their children. You say this with a tone that says "I'm sure you aren't aware of being disruptive" - but don't mention that they are actually disruptive.

This is what well mannered people have done is these circumstances for over 200 years.

 

[Mkrop]

You say, like you would in any other circumstances where someone was disturbing you during a performance "I beg your pardon, but we are trying to watch the show." You say this as quietly as possible so as not to disturb any other guests.

You don't tell them what they are doing wrong, or what they should do. You don't accuse them of being bad parents or being rude. You don't mention their children. You say this with a tone that says "I'm sure you aren't aware of being disruptive" - but don't mention that they are actually disruptive.

This is what well mannered people have done is these circumstances for over 200 years.

I agree. A few weeks ago, I was at the Harlem Globetrotters and a young boy about 8 or so was kicking my chair. I could tell he was just excitied and he was a kid just being a kid. I politely asked him to stop kicking my chair, he did for a bit, Then got excitied again and started kicking. This time I just turned around and smiled. He got the message and did not do it again the entire game.

 

[bellebud]

OP - while it's a shame the people were rude to you, I personally would have left the performance.

My nephew has sensory processing disorder... we all went to disney last year... when something become overwhelming for him, bro or sil removed him and left his brother w/ the other parent (or any of us - we were a big group). It wouldn't have been right to say "he has to scream, he has a *disability* and should be able to watch the show too"

I don't think saying the asthma is a disability is a legitimate excuse for staying at a performance while she's coughing.

I'm not meaning to upset you, and I'm truly sorry your dd has asthma (my kids have medical conditions too, which have sometimes limited our lives in different ways). We work around it and deal w/ it. Shorter days at disney when necessary, etc.

 

[Tikitoi]

Whether or not the mother was right in leaving her child where she was is not the issue that bothers me the most. IMO the rudest people are those who jump on another person without knowing their situation. Also there was no reason whatsoever to mention it after the show was already over, except to try to upset the mother. If it disturbed them that much, it should have been mentioned to a cast member during the show, so it could have been dealt with in a helpful way which hopefully would have satisfied everybody.

You don't have to know their situation. You can hear the situation from the child coughing and needing a nebulizer treatment. I would have definitely left, if my daughters asthma (god forbid) got this bad, the last thing I would be thinking about is seeing some show. Please! And how is the daughter or the o/p even enjoying it? Much less everyone around them.

 

[Tikitoi]

Perect parents? I agree, no one has made that claim. Is one considered perfect if one is polite to others?

I'm always amazed that people say such stupid things. The op feels like her choice was perfect. Other people think they are correct? That is pretty much how the word turns.

It's all in the attitudes. No one has to say it. The stupidity would be in not being able to sense that.

 

[WebmasterKathy]

Looks like the OP has gotten a clear message regarding opinions, and now we're going to close this before it gets any more heated.