I need help making a Kindergarten decision

[Leajess99]

OP here again with an update...

I had no idea what kind of debate I was getting started. I just wanted others people opinions. I decided that the only opinion that really mattered was what our Preschool recommened. After meeting with the director today we have decided to keep him at the preschool for 1 more year. It really boiled down to the fact that he was not ready. We all shared the same concern that it could effect his confidence and that is not worth the risk. I know my little boy and I do not feel that he is ready for Kindergarten I thought maybe 2 years would benifit him but I now believe it might / but it also might not. I am not willing to take that risk esp when we are in a preschool that I trust and believe in the readiness they are giving him for kindergarten.

And for all those that keep talking about a 7 year old in kindergarten have no fear that will never be my son. He will start kindergarten in fall of 2011 17 days after he turns 6. And to the parents of winter babies. You are so lucky you don't have to make this choice.

Just curious but is your preschool admin really that objective?? After all if you move your child to the private school for Kindergarten, they lose that money. It is your decision but giving your child that chance at private Kindergarten would have probably been more beneficial than another year of preschool.

 

[Leajess99]

Eveything posted does not apply dorectly to you. There are parents ot there that ARE NOT capable of seperating their emotions form this issue. I did'nt see where I EVER mentioned your name or said you were one of the???

Princessmom, she just doesn't want the young kids in her class as she may actually have to do some work. I am so glad she is not in my children's schools because my now 11 year old would have put her to shame as would my 7 year old.

 

[Mlacks]

I thought personal attcks were taboo on the boards. This is turning ugly.....and immature.

 

[ilovepooh]

I don't see the harm in doing two years of PreK. I did it for my son because I knew he wasn't ready for Kindergarten.

Maturity is a BIG issue as well as academic readiness. I've seen kids (especially boys) who are leaps and bounds below their peers academically as well as extremely immature for their grade level simply because they were put in school too early and moved up instead of repeating prek or K.

You will be so much happier when he is older and able to make/keep friends, and complete his work without frustration and tears. Good luck in your decision.

 

[LuLuO]

I was almost always the youngest in my class, with an 8/30 birthday. I didn't start having trouble until fourth grade. I don't know if an extra year of pre-school wold have made a difference but my mom told me that she wished she had waited an extra year to put me in K. I most definitely should have repeated fourth grade and my mom had talked to the principal about it but she told her I'd be fine and that holding me back would be an embarrassment. I was in a Catholic school and I was passed along from year to year with below average grades. In sixth grade, my algebra teacher told me, in front of my class, something to the effect of "I spend more time trying to help you than I do anyone else and you just don't understand anything. I'm not wasting any more time on you if you aren't going to learn." Of course that is not word for word because that was over twenty years ago but it was awful. I was so upset and ran from the room crying. Because of this, if my daughter or son had been born shortly before the cutoff I would probably hold them back. But, that is not a decision I have to make. DD is 12 days beyond the cutoff and DS's birthday is 3/1.

 

[sdoll]

Just curious but is your preschool admin really that objective?? After all if you move your child to the private school for Kindergarten, they lose that money. It is your decision but giving your child that chance at private Kindergarten would have probably been more beneficial than another year of preschool.

Absolutly, I have never doubted her intentions. And she was able to back up every thought she had on recommending holding him one more. Remember, I have said that I knew he was not ready for kindergarten. She explained that some kids are borderline and our son is not one of them. This is a great school and I just have no reason to doubt her. Plus I am learning to listen to my gut!!

 

[ilovejack02]

OP, I have not read all responses , looks like you received quite a few.


Our situation is my DS7 bday is in early Aug.

We sent him to prek and then kept him at the same school for half day kinder. I just knew he wasn't quite ready for full day kinder at our public school yet and his teacher at the pre school agreed.

I then sent him on to public kinder full day the next year, thinking he was still too immature to send on to first.

HE WAS AWFUL, sooo bad, his behavior was unreal . I was astounded , he was so good at his old school.

Principal called me with in about two weeks of school starting and wanted to put him in first grade. Apparently he had already knew everything, learned it all in half day kinder and was much more advanced socially and academically then the class. I resisted , just knowing he wasn't ready . WELL I was wrong lol.

We moved him up to first grade and it was an immediate change in behavior. He made straight A's all year and no issues in conduct. 2nd grade is going great too.

I can tell he is a bit less mature than the older kids that were held back, but he is holding his own and has lots of friends. Teachers assure me he is well liked by all his peers, which means his maturity isn't very far off. Immature kids annoy the other children.

I don't regret putting him in half day kinder at private school, and you prob won't either, but just know he may not need to be put in kinder at the public the next year.

Good luck!

 

[bwilcox]

I am a teacher, both my mother and mother-in-law are kindergarten teachers, and my closest friends are K and 1st grade teachers. The bottom line is, maturity makes a HUGE difference when it comes to kindergarten success. I have heard over and over again about the youngest students (usually boys, who often mature slower than girls) in my mother's classes who are just not ready to be there. They can't sit still, they don't know how to act socially with their peers, they can't retain what they are taught. Yes, my mother does the absolute best she can to help them, but there is only so much a teacher can do when they have 21 other students to teach and a child is just not at the maturity level they need to be at. I challenge anyone to find an experienced kindergarten teacher who tells you that maturity level doesn't make a difference.

I'm not so sure why everyone's upset, anyway. We all do the best we can for our children with the information and beliefs we have. If my Aug. 25 birthday son doesn't start K until he is almost 6 (which he won't), it doesn't have any effect on you winter baby. The nerve of some people to think they know what is best for a child, who they have never met, better than the mother does!

 

[RF536]

Something for all of you who are so against redshirting to consider is the difference between the cutoff dates for starting kindergarten. In Michigan the cutoff date is Dec. 1, not Sept. 1, does that mean that my DS with a Nov. 14th birthday is ready to start kindergarten at age 4 simply becasue we live in Michigan. If we lived in a state with a Sept. 1, date he wouldn't be starting until he was 5 almost 6. So yes some of us who keep our kids back an extra year are doing it to give them the extra year to mature that kids in other states already get. It is not done to give them some preceived advantage in sports or academics later on.

 

[Schmeck]

I'm not so sure why everyone's upset, anyway. We all do the best we can for our children with the information and beliefs we have. If my Aug. 25 birthday son doesn't start K until he is almost 6 (which he won't), it doesn't have any effect on you winter baby. The nerve of some people to think they know what is best for a child, who they have never met, better than the mother does!

Then why is the mother asking people she doesn't even know for advice? Goes both ways here, doesn't it?

 

[brymolmom]

Something for all of you who are so against redshirting to consider is the difference between the cutoff dates for starting kindergarten. In Michigan the cutoff date is Dec. 1, not Sept. 1, does that mean that my DS with a Nov. 14th birthday is ready to start kindergarten at age 4 simply becasue we live in Michigan. If we lived in a state with a Sept. 1, date he wouldn't be starting until he was 5 almost 6. So yes some of us who keep our kids back an extra year are doing it to give them the extra year to mature that kids in other states already get. It is not done to give them some preceived advantage in sports or academics later on.

The thing is what MANY, MANY of us who oppose redshirting are saying is NOT that kids should go to Kindergarten at age 4 and YES we agree that maturity is a factor. What many of us are saying is - FINE, CHANGE the cutoffs - if the experts say it's better to start them at age 6 - FINE, no problem. What we (at least I) want is an even playing field - so change the cutoffs, but then put a REQUIREMENT on it - just like there currently is for 1st grade - it is a LAW that your child must be in school by age 7. Just expand that to include Kindergarten - and make it age 6 if that's what they say is best - but then enforce it. I just want it to be FAIR all around. Or as fair as possible - obviously there is still a 12 month gap between the child born a day after the cutoff and a child born the day before - but that's as fair as it can be without half grades...

And how come the government knows what's 'best' for our child for starting 1st grade and no one has any issues with it - but when I suggest that doing the same exact thing for Kindergarten everyone is up in arms that the MOM KNOWS BEST. And Mom doesn't always know best. I know people with DUE DATES in the fall - haven't even MET their baby yet - and already they know they're holding them back. So much for knowing the child first...

 

[princessmom29]

The thing is what MANY, MANY of us who oppose redshirting are saying is NOT that kids should go to Kindergarten at age 4 and YES we agree that maturity is a factor. What many of us are saying is - FINE, CHANGE the cutoffs - if the experts say it's better to start them at age 6 - FINE, no problem. What we (at least I) want is an even playing field - so change the cutoffs, but then put a REQUIREMENT on it - just like there currently is for 1st grade - it is a LAW that your child must be in school by age 7. Just expand that to include Kindergarten - and make it age 6 if that's what they say is best - but then enforce it. I just want it to be FAIR all around. Or as fair as possible - obviously there is still a 12 month gap between the child born a day after the cutoff and a child born the day before - but that's as fair as it can be without half grades...

And how come the government knows what's 'best' for our child for starting 1st grade and no one has any issues with it - but when I suggest that doing the same exact thing for Kindergarten everyone is up in arms that the MOM KNOWS BEST. And Mom doesn't always know best. I know people with DUE DATES in the fall - haven't even MET their baby yet - and already they know they're holding them back. So much for knowing the child first...

This is EXACTLY how I feel about it and what NEEDS to happen!!!

 

[princessmom29]

OP, I have not read all responses , looks like you received quite a few.


Our situation is my DS7 bday is in early Aug.

We sent him to prek and then kept him at the same school for half day kinder. I just knew he wasn't quite ready for full day kinder at our public school yet and his teacher at the pre school agreed.

I then sent him on to public kinder full day the next year, thinking he was still too immature to send on to first.

HE WAS AWFUL, sooo bad, his behavior was unreal . I was astounded , he was so good at his old school.

Principal called me with in about two weeks of school starting and wanted to put him in first grade. Apparently he had already knew everything, learned it all in half day kinder and was much more advanced socially and academically then the class. I resisted , just knowing he wasn't ready . WELL I was wrong lol.

We moved him up to first grade and it was an immediate change in behavior. He made straight A's all year and no issues in conduct. 2nd grade is going great too.

I can tell he is a bit less mature than the older kids that were held back, but he is holding his own and has lots of friends. Teachers assure me he is well liked by all his peers, which means his maturity isn't very far off. Immature kids annoy the other children.

I don't regret putting him in half day kinder at private school, and you prob won't either, but just know he may not need to be put in kinder at the public the next year.

Good luck!

This is exactly how I would describe the two 7 year olds in DD's K class. They have no reason to pay attention and behave. They already know the material so they find some other way to entertain themselves, usually bugging another child or causing some kind of disruption.

 

[LuLuO]

Then why is the mother asking people she doesn't even know for advice? Goes both ways here, doesn't it?

My understanding of the OP's question was that the decision to keep him out of the public school K this year was already made. He will be going to public school but she didn't want him to repeat K at the public school for fear of other kids making fun of him, etc. I believe her question was whether to send her child to a K at a Catholic school and then switch to public school K next year or repeat a year of pre-school where he is now. I don't think she was asking for input on whether or not to hold her child back. That decision was already made. She did not feel he was ready.

Most of the other posters took this thread off into another direction. So, no reason to get snippy with OP. Get snippy with those who turned this into a debate and a bit of a nasty debate at times too.

 

[Schmeck]

My understanding of the OP's question was that the decision to keep him out of the public school K this year was already made. He will be going to public school but she didn't want him to repeat K at the public school for fear of other kids making fun of him, etc. I believe her question was whether to send her child to a K at a Catholic school and then switch to public school K next year or repeat a year of pre-school where he is now. I don't think she was asking for input on whether or not to hold her child back. That decision was already made. She did not feel he was ready.

Most of the other posters took this thread off into another direction. So, no reason to get snippy with OP. Get snippy with those who turned this into a debate and a bit of a nasty debate at times too.

My response was to the post above mine - not directed to the OP's question (although I see the error in my wording! Sorry!) but to the reprimand given. When a request for advice is posted on a big, open forum, there is always going to be that advice/counter-advice situation - and someone pointed out 'how dare' anyone tell the mother what to do. Well, she asked for advice, she got advice. That was the mother's choice to do so, right?

 

[bwilcox]

Then why is the mother asking people she doesn't even know for advice? Goes both ways here, doesn't it?

First of all, the OP did NOT ask whether or not she should wait to start K-her question was about which of 2 schools she should put him in. Second, there is a huge difference between stating your opinion and repeatedly berating others' opinions who are different than your own. (Not saying you are, just that I see it happening.)

 

[FlightlessDuck]

The thing is what MANY, MANY of us who oppose redshirting are saying is NOT that kids should go to Kindergarten at age 4 and YES we agree that maturity is a factor. What many of us are saying is - FINE, CHANGE the cutoffs

I am actually opposed to these types of education standards based on age. My daughter completed a private Kindergarten between ages 4 and 5. Her birthday was in the end of December.

We convinced our public school, after much debate, to let her go into first grade even though she wasn't going to turn 6 until the end of December. We did this because she was academically and socially ready. I think if we waited, it would have driven her nuts to redo Kindergarten. There has been a small issues time-to-time with her being the youngest in her class, but I don't think most of her friends care she is younger. And if we asked her now if she wanted to redo 8th grade so she would be in with kids her own age, she would protest.

It seems to me that it would be better for a child to be evaluated as an individual, not as a statistic, and be placed in the appropriate grade.

 

[LuLuO]

My response was to the post above mine - not directed to the OP's question (although I see the error in my wording! Sorry!) but to the reprimand given. When a request for advice is posted on a big, open forum, there is always going to be that advice/counter-advice situation - and someone pointed out 'how dare' anyone tell the mother what to do. Well, she asked for advice, she got advice. That was the mother's choice to do so, right?

She asked for advice on whether to have her son do a year of K at a Catholic school and then switch over to her local school for another year of K or just keep him in his pre-school for another year and then K at her local school. She didn't ask for advice on redshirting. So all of the arguments back and forth on redshirting were unnecessary because she had already decided to hold her child back a year.

It's like if I made a post asking about how to wean my child at 6 months. I have already decided to do it, but I just want some advice on how to best go about it. Instead of people answering my question, a debate on breastfeeding vs formula feeding starts. Sure, anyone can post anything they want. But BF vs FF would be a fruitless argument in that case because I've already made up my mind to wean.

Obviously in a forum such as this there will always be people who derail a thread and cause it to go off on some side debate. This one started going off the tracks on page one. So while the OP did ask for advice, the mjority of people never actually answered her question.

 

[brymolmom]

I am actually opposed to these types of education standards based on age. My daughter completed a private Kindergarten between ages 4 and 5. Her birthday was in the end of December.

We convinced our public school, after much debate, to let her go into first grade even though she wasn't going to turn 6 until the end of December. We did this because she was academically and socially ready. I think if we waited, it would have driven her nuts to redo Kindergarten. There has been a small issues time-to-time with her being the youngest in her class, but I don't think most of her friends care she is younger. And if we asked her now if she wanted to redo 8th grade to she would be in with kids her own age, she would protest.

It seems to me that it would be better for a child to be evaluated as an individual, not as a statistic, and be placed on the appropriate grade.

I wouldn't be opposed to this either - again - whatever can be most fair. So for those kids not sent to K on time - if they are DOING 1st grade work when they do go to school - evaluate them and put them in 1st grade. I have no problem with parents making a choice to advance their child (and pushing for it - like in your situation). I do have a problem with the opposite - holding them back in spite of the fact that it might be obvious that he/she will be by far way more advanced than the rest of the class (not necessarily the way it is for OP or any of the supporters on this board - but has been in the case in the majority of redshirting cases I have witnessed first hand). What you are doing is actually what I am pushing for (but in a much different way) and that is making sure all kids are as much on 'equal ground' as possible. In your case (and is the case in rare cases) kids are well advanced - not just older like many redshirted kids and your child likely would have taken time away from the teacher and from the kids who needed extra help in order for her to have extra enrichment material to keep her interested if she HADN'T been moved up. So this move actually supports my viewpoint.

 

[jessica52877]

Around here it is very common for kids to do what you are thinking about OP. I know several kids in my son's 1st grade class who did K twice, once private and then public due to their age.