I need help making a Kindergarten decision

[sdoll]

This might be long so please hang in there...
My DS will be 5 in July we have already decided we would not be starting our son in our local school next school year. While we were standing in line at Disney World last week we started talking to a teacher in line. She asked if our son would be starting school in the fall when we told her we decided we would repeat Preschool she suggested we look into a local catholic school and do 1 year of Kindergarten there and next year do another year of Kindergarten at our local school. I had never thought of this. My reason for not sending my son are many. Sounds silly but he is tiny, he is a little shy and I am concerned about maturity when he is older. It is not too related to his current level of performance. However, I would think he is a little behind the norm in his class ( he is the youngest in his class) So no matter what I would send him next year to kindergarten in our local school. I just would not want to repeat kindergarten at the same school. Kids can be mean and I would never want him made fun of or judged. I do think if we moved him from the catholic school to our local school that would be different.

The cost of the catholic kindergarten is $200 more per year than our preschool so cost is not an issue. My husband thinks sending him to catholic school and having him do 2 years of kindergarten is a bad idea. He thinks our son will think he is being held back. I totally disagree. I think its a no brainer. It gives him a chance to grow a little more over the year and this is a good school.

So as usual this leads me here asking what would you do?
TIA I never dreamed these decisions would be so hard.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would find a really good preschool and stick with that one more year. All the reasons for NOT sending him next year are good ones and sending him to a different kindergarten are not going to make those disapear. You are smart to see that your son would benefit from another year to grow, stick to your guns and give him that gift.

 

[LuLuO]

If you are happy with the preschool and feel that it is preparing him for KG then I'd keep him there rather putting him in a new school this year and another new school next year. He knows the current routine and his teachers. He is probably comfortable at his preschool. If you put him in the Catholic school he will have to get used to a new routine and teachers and friends and then turn around and get pulled out of that school next year to repeat KG at the public school where there is another new routine and new teachers and new friends. I think that is a lot for a little guy to handle if it is at all avoidable. I'd skip the Catholic school KG and keep him at the preschool.

 

[AZMermaid]

I posted a long response on the other thread, but I will summarize it!

I teach 3rd grade. My younger (July, Sug, Sep) boys generally struggle- not in a lifelong detriment sort of way, but in a "man school would be easier if they were in the younger grade." My "older" boys are leaders socially and academically and have less behavior issues. The young ones are just immature and struggle socially. Even if they are good academically, they have a hard time relating and get into trouble trying to fit in. It isn't huge trouble, but you can tell. Now, I will say this is a generalization. I do have a kid this year with a July 12 b-day who is awesome. But, he is the first July/ Aug/ Sept young boy I can truly say that about. Some are better than others. Girls don't seem to have such an issue.

My SIL teaches 7th grade and she says it is an issue even there. The young boys usually hit puberty almost a year behind the older boys. They are shorter and "squeakier." She hates when she gets first quarter sex ed because she says teaching it to 11 year old is just awful.

I would hold him. No questions asked. Kindergarten is like 1st grade was when we were kids. Is it full day where you are? Here they are starting double digit addition (no regrouping) and fully reading by the end of Kinder. They are writing simple sentences. Is he ready for that? Now, our class sizes are pretty crappy here, but can he handle being in a class with up to 30 kids with no aide. If you have any doubt, I would hold him. Heck, I tell all my friends with late summer boys to hold them. What about putting him in pre-k again? Maybe a full day pre-k so it is a little bit of a step?

 

[brenalexacamp]

whatever you decide will be the right choice for your son. My son(now 21) was so lost in kindergarten-didn't know what hand to write with, couldn't ride a bike-tie his shoes- wouldn't wear anything with a zipper or a button(to long to go to the bathroom)-he went to 1st because he was a "good boy". In 1st grade the teacher thought he had a hearing problem- he would just zone out-but here was a kid who could read the gree Audubon reptile manual and tell you ever genus and species!

So at open house in October-after a month of school, we put him into readiness-he wanted to go- a full day-like 1st grade-but only 12 kids in the class- they worked on morning meeting- eye contact- lots of hands on stuff. he has the same group of kids for his friends now!
Every kid should have readiness! Then when he went to 1st, he was more prepared. My daughter- 4 years later was also a readiness kid.

My middle has down syndrome- so readiness wasn't "technically" for him as he had a special ed plan.

He did kindergarten, then 1/2 day kindergarten and 1/2 1st-then 1st grade with the same teacher- it worked.

kids are not so mean at this age-it will give your child confidence. i think it would be easier to be in the same school-he would at least have recess and see his friends.

i knew another family that took the poor kid every Saturday in the summer to summer school so in september he could go to 1st grade. Nothing wrong with repeating. i know it feels like you are determining life and death-but you WILL make the right choice- you know your child. don't let the school district pass him along either- go with your gut.

 

[rgribik]

My twins repeated preschool last year instead of going to K, for many of the same reasons you stated. I didn't want to send them to K and have them struggle for a year and then tell them they had to do it all over, while their friends went to 1st grade. We do go to a Catholic School and I'm very glad we waited to go to K until this year. They were "ready" to learn. Our K is all day, and this year they really feel like they are in "school" so I think they would have had a real hard time repeating K, but when they were in preschool the second time, they didn't recognize it as school like the big kids, so going again was no big deal.

 

[sdoll]

If you are happy with the preschool and feel that it is preparing him for KG then I'd keep him there rather putting him in a new school this year and another new school next year. He knows the current routine and his teachers. He is probably comfortable at his preschool. If you put him in the Catholic school he will have to get used to a new routine and teachers and friends and then turn around and get pulled out of that school next year to repeat KG at the public school where there is another new routine and new teachers and new friends. I think that is a lot for a little guy to handle if it is at all avoidable. I'd skip the Catholic school KG and keep him at the preschool.

I am happy with our preschool. Most of the kids from his current class would be going to the same catholic school that I am considering sending him too. Because of cuts around here the classroom size in our public school is about 28. At the catholic school the classroom is 14 which is actually smaller than his preschool. Again I have no doubt that he is not ready for 1 year of kindergarten I can't imagine him being able to do double digit math so the intention would be to repeat kindergarten at the public school. I would not repeat kindergarten in the same school.

 

[DaniB]

My husband thinks sending him to catholic school and having him do 2 years of kindergarten is a bad idea. He thinks our son will think he is being held back.

I disagree with your husband. Your son is 5 now, will be 6 when repeating K, correct? He's not going to think he's being held back. He's too young. It's not until they are older that they realize what being held back means. Especially since he would be transferred to a new school for the second round!

My daughter was "held back" in SK (we have JK and SK here), and she didn't have a clue! (speech & language issues).

I wanted her to repeat JK when we moved to this city, but the school convinced me to let her move to SK - only to agree with me a year later that she needed another year.

 

[bwilcox]

I am not starting my son in K this year for all the same reasons you stated. I feel like I would be holding him back academically, though, if I didn't put him in something. I have decided on a private 1/2 day kindergarten. He will only go until lunch, and it is much smaller and more laid back than public school K. Then next year I will put him in K in our school district, which will be different since it is all day. I feel your pain-it's a hard decision to make when it concerns your child's future education!

 

[sdoll]

I am not starting my son in K this year for all the same reasons you stated. I feel like I would be holding him back academically, though, if I didn't put him in something. I have decided on a private 1/2 day kindergarten. He will only go until lunch, and it is much smaller and more laid back than public school K. Then next year I will put him in K in our school district, which will be different since it is all day. I feel your pain-it's a hard decision to make when it concerns your child's future education!

Thanks for your understanding. I know he is not ready for this as his 1 and only kindergarten and its not just for now but also when he is older. I guess my thought is it can only help not hurt. He is our oldest so he isn't too aware of school and he would not know about being held back and since he would be in a different school the other kids would not know. There are so many reason in my mind why this is a good idea and the only reason I think not to do it has to do with where he is in his abilities now (letter recogntion etc. ) I have asked to meet with his preschool director to see what advise she has to offer. I sometime trust other parents just as much and value every ones input.

 

[2Pinks]

DH and myself made this decision last year with our DD who has an August birthday. She was right on track academically, but we felt she was a bit on the immature side, she is also incredibly small for her age (barely 30lbs when school started!) and has a hard time adjusting to new situations as she has SPD. But we didn't want her being bored with school either which was the biggest issue we thought she would come across by being sent to the 4 year old preschool class at 5 years old.

In the end, the private school we wanted to send her offered a half-day kindergarten class and a full-day kindergarten. The class size is also really small - only 10 kids to a class. We decided to send her on-time and then at the end of her school year, with her teacher's input, we would decide whether to send her onto 1st grade or have her do full-day kindergarten.

Now that we are close to the end of the school year - I am really glad I sent her on time. She absolutely thrived with the challenge. She has really come out of her shy, timid shell! Her teacher has commented that she talks a lot in class! The same girl who clung to my leg for the first week of school now doesn't even look back to say good-bye when I drop her off! And she is so excited to go to first grade next year and get to stay at school "all-day long".

This was the best decision we could make for our child. You know your child best and I am sure whichever decision you make will be the right one.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Both of my boys have summer birthday and both started kindergarten at age 6. My older one was in a special ed preschool program due to his Asperger's and it made a lot of sense to leave him there an extra year. For the younger one, we found an excellent jr. kindergarten program. They worked on academics, social skills, fine and gross motor skills. The kids were encouraged to be as independent as possible and it turned out to be a great experience for my son. We felt he was totally ready when he started kindergarten.

 

[disneycruising]

We went through the same thing with our son, he has a late Aug birthday. He was really smart...learned to read at 4. But, was emotionally inmature. We did keep him back one extra year and have never regread it.

 

[princessmom29]

I personally think everyone should go to school when thier chronological age says they should. I would send him to catholic K and see how he does. I would lay bets that you will be pleasantly suprised and he will do fine and be ready to go to first grade with his age peers rather than behind them.

 

[Kudrah]

Have you checked with your school district to see if they offer an Early 5's or 'Begin-dergarten?' Where we live, most of our public schools have a Kindergarten readiness program that is geared specifically towards children like your son who may need more time socially and academically to prepare.

I think that the private K idea sounds great, especially if he already will know many of the kids from his preschool. It will give him a sense of 'moving on' with his friends and perhaps motivate him and help him feel like a 'big kid' as well. Given the cost is pretty much a wash and you will get a smaller teacher/student ratio and probably more time spent on academics, I'd say go for it.

 

[Schmeck]

What does your pediatrician suggest? Or the preschool teachers, etc? Sometimes you need the input of someone who is one step back from the situation. Of course, here on the internet, we are about 100 yards back...

Kids figure out that they are out of their peer group, usually in middle school or the end of elementary. Kids that start first grade at the age of seven will be getting their driver's license ahead of the other kids in their class in high school.

It's a tough choice, definitely not a no-brainer!

 

[crgfsu1]

Have you considered this...putting him in Kindergarten at the Catholic school this year, then re-evaluate next year to see if he needs to repeat at all? He might excel and be ready for first grade next year at the public school. Just a thought.

 

[imthatgirl]

My 4yo will be 5 in August and we too are not sending him to K next year. We really want him to be with kids his own age, not always trying to catch up with the kids that are a year older then him. It just doesn't seem fair to him to send him now.
So I completely understand where you're coming from.
For us, I wouldn't even consider sending him to K two years in a row. I have a nephew who repeated K and it has had a profound effect on him. He's a smart child, he just needed the extra year to mature, but now he always feels like a failure. Everytime he doesn't do something right he will remind himself that he stayed back in K. He knows thatmost kids didn't do this.
We are sending my son to Pre K in a school where some of the kids he's with will also go to K in the same school as him. I want him to form bonds with kids that will continue their education together.

And to the PP who said he won't be with his peer group and will "figure it out"....actually the OPs child WILL be with his peer group. Having such a late birthday will either make him almost a year younger then most of the kids or maybe 2-3 months older then most of them. Personally I would always choose 2-3 months older. It's rather silly to think those 2-3 months are such a big deal.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I am not sure I understand why your fears of your son's size, age, and maturity would be solved by sending him to a Catholic Kindergarten. Either he's ready or he's not ready.

 

[nancyoliver23]

We were in the same situation with my granddaughter last year. Her playschool however had a batch of similar kids and put her in a transition class so that she’d learn some more at her pace, and fit in socially with kids her age. She went to kindergarten this year happier and more confident than ever. Transition classes are a great idea.