Have/would you leave your kids sleeping alone in the room and go f/swim? *SEE #159*

[3pletprincesses]

I travelled alone with my 4 yo triplets last fall and I can garantee you that I was outside the room when my girls went to bed at 9pm. Yes I sat right outside the door with a drink in my hands but boy was it nice to be outside on my own for mommy time alone. Believe me, I'm over protective of my children. No one has ever babysat them except for my mom and even that was only 1 time when I had to stay overnight at the hospital with one of them and my husband was out of town for business. I refuse to get a stranger to babysit even for time alone with DH at Disney. My girls are my world and I prefer to step out of the room and enjoy a bit of time sitting around close to the room while watching the door then to get a stranger to take care of them while I worry about it all night long.

 

[Wadecool]

It is sad that someone even considering something like this isn't really very surprising these days.

 

[sscassel]

Your on vacation, take them swimming and let them live it up. Maybe they will fall asleep during dinner so you can have a nice quiet dinner together!

 

[MistressMerryweather]

Your on vacation, take them swimming and let them live it up. Maybe they will fall asleep during dinner so you can have a nice quiet dinner together!

That would be the day!

 

[Ericandjenng]

I have two concerns regarding this possible idea or this discussion since you are just wanting opinions...

1. Depending on which resort especially if you ever stay at a Deluxe or DVC, how many doors are available into a room. I realize currently you're talking about POP or a moderate but if you doing something once and gain a comfort level, you are probably more likely to consider repeating it even if some of the circumstances have changed. Our recent DVC villa was about 20 feet to the quiet pool at BWV. I would never even consider leaving either of my children in a room alone on vacation to take quiet time at the pool with my DH. Neither would he. Every DVC villa we've stayed in has the entry door and also some type of patio door to either a patio or a balcony. Yes, it's a slim possibility of someone realizing you're outside and not in the room but I cannot imagine taking that chance.

2. My second issue is less about something happening to the kids and more about the what-ifs of something happening to you and your spouse. For example, if you're in your room and you both have a heart attack, the kids are going to wake and cry and scream and possibly call for help. Someone will hear them and get help. But they will know without a doubt that you are there with children and make sure that they get taken care of. What happens if that pool is only 10 feet away but you both have that heart attack (or whatever) out there. Who knows that you're traveling with children except you and your DH. The personnel who call for help aren't going to know you left your kids alone. How many hours before someone discovers a situation like that.

Insurance companies (and no, I don't work for one) call pools attractive nuisances for a reason. It's similar to texting or talking while driving. IT'S A DISTRACTION!! No, matter how vigilant you are, accidents can and do happen.

One of our neighbors nearly lost her youngest son about 4 years ago to drowning in the neighborhood pool. She was there, he was 2 and in he went. It had never happened in our neighborhood before or to her with her older child. But even though she meant to be attentive, she had developed some complacency from the lack of accidents with her first child. It's easy to say, no, never me... but ask any parent (not the headliners) who've had a child taken either by a kidnapper or through death by accident. My neighbor was lucky, acted fast and saved her son. But every summer, I read or hear about a child drowning locally.

The other thing that pops up in this thread and I've seen other threads along similar lines is about the "quiet mommy/daddy time" or the "mommy and daddy alone time"...if you went on a FAMILY vacation, why are you taking time away from the whole FAMILY? If my DH & I want alone time, we're going to get that while we are at home and can call on the people that we know and trust to watch our kids and not try and hire complete strangers (even if Disney does background-check them) to stay with our kids during our FAMILY vacation.

 

[Halbleib1]

Not really a good comparison. While her parents kept claiming that they were very close and could see their room, the truth is that they were over 100 yards away from the room and could not see the door from where they sat.

Maybe they could not see the room but the OP is not going to be watching the door every single second either as she and her husband will be distracted with each other and swimming. And no I do not leave my child up in bed at night while I sit outside. I would never ever leave my child alone inside the house. It is actually against the law in many places as well and is considered neglect and abandonment. Even if the OP were not to be distracted and could possibly watch that door every single second she can not possible see inside that room. Another example of how badly things could go: Have you never heard of kids playing in water and either getting burnt really bad from it or even worst drowning to death? A baby monitor is no help in this situation as before you could reach them it would most probably be too late. The damage would be done. There are other things to consider besides fire and abduction. The argument that the kids will be asleep does not fly either because they could wake at any moment. We all know that it only takes seconds for things to go horribly wrong.

Leaving your child alone in a resort room is even worst than leaving them in your home while you sit outside IMO as you do not know who may have a key to that room either.

As for the argument of well we did this or that as a kid or my parents/grandparents allowed this or that- I believe that times are just different today. When I was a kid I rode my bike all the time alone and stayed out until dark but I would not feel safe allowing my kids to do this. The world is just a different place today. We are living in far different and IMO more dangerous times.

As for the pp's that said this mother is a good mother and very caring I am sorry if this sounds harsh but I do not think so. A good mother would not be asking this type of question. The only parent that would ask this are those that are selfish and are not looking at what is in the best interest of their children but at what works best for them. They want others to justify their bad decisions.

If you want to go to the pool without your kids than do what others have suggested and hire a sitter. If you are not comfortable with a stranger which I would not be either than bring one along from home or just skip the alone time at the pool altogether.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

I have two concerns regarding this possible idea or this discussion since you are just wanting opinions...

1. Depending on which resort especially if you ever stay at a Deluxe or DVC, how many doors are available into a room. I realize currently you're talking about POP or a moderate but if you doing something once and gain a comfort level, you are probably more likely to consider repeating it even if some of the circumstances have changed. Our recent DVC villa was about 20 feet to the quiet pool at BWV. I would never even consider leaving either of my children in a room alone on vacation to take quiet time at the pool with my DH. Neither would he. Every DVC villa we've stayed in has the entry door and also some type of patio door to either a patio or a balcony. Yes, it's a slim possibility of someone realizing you're outside and not in the room but I cannot imagine taking that chance.

Not likely. I have been to several of the deluxe resorts and most likely wouldn't find something similar to what I have experienced at the moderate hotels, at least not from my experience with them. As for DVC villas, we wouldn't be considering that. I also wouldn't be sitting outside the room, if there were a balcony, patio or separate entrance despite it being possibly a few feet from the pool. If you read my other posts, you will see that I listed exactly what I would be comfortable with and have already addressed the things you mentioned.

2. My second issue is less about something happening to the kids and more about the what-ifs of something happening to you and your spouse. For example, if you're in your room and you both have a heart attack, the kids are going to wake and cry and scream and possibly call for help. Someone will hear them and get help. But they will know without a doubt that you are there with children and make sure that they get taken care of. What happens if that pool is only 10 feet away but you both have that heart attack (or whatever) out there. Who knows that you're traveling with children except you and your DH. The personnel who call for help aren't going to know you left your kids alone. How many hours before someone discovers a situation like that.

I'll make sure to google the chance of that happening.
I'm sure a housekeeper would find the children alone, quicker than anyone would find them alone at home, if that 1 in a bazillion situation were to happen.

Insurance companies (and no, I don't work for one) call pools attractive nuisances for a reason. It's similar to texting or talking while driving. IT'S A DISTRACTION!! No, matter how vigilant you are, accidents can and do happen.

One of our neighbors nearly lost her youngest son about 4 years ago to drowning in the neighborhood pool. She was there, he was 2 and in he went. It had never happened in our neighborhood before or to her with her older child. But even though she meant to be attentive, she had developed some complacency from the lack of accidents with her first child. It's easy to say, no, never me... but ask any parent (not the headliners) who've had a child taken either by a kidnapper or through death by accident. My neighbor was lucky, acted fast and saved her son. But every summer, I read or hear about a child drowning locally.

I trust my instincts. If I feel okay about the situation, then it's okay.
If dh drowns, I'll make sure to run and get the kids before I save him...and he likewise. If we both drown, then refer to my previous comment above. No one is going to kidnap my kids while I sit outside the door in the pool.

The other thing that pops up in this thread and I've seen other threads along similar lines is about the "quiet mommy/daddy time" or the "mommy and daddy alone time"...if you went on a FAMILY vacation, why are you taking time away from the whole FAMILY? If my DH & I want alone time, we're going to get that while we are at home and can call on the people that we know and trust to watch our kids and not try and hire complete strangers (even if Disney does background-check them) to stay with our kids during our FAMILY vacation.

If we are not tired and don't want to sit in the dark, then we will sit in the bathroom or outside the door. That's that. It's not about "alone" time. My mother and I, my best friend and I...etc. etc. etc would do the same thing. If we are not sleeping or plan on sleeping at 7 or 8pm and the kids are, then we stay awake and do our own thing. That would be because we are adults, not because we are taking time away from the family.
Dh and I get plenty of alone time after our kids are in bed. Our house is old and big and two stories with multiple entrances. Some might be shocked to know that if we are downstairs in the kitchen, no one is watching the front door or basement door and my kids bedrooms are probably at least 200+ feet from us.
BTW, did you know that the safest place you are *NOT* is in your own home. I think we'll be fine at DW by the pool.

I think some of these "what ifs" are really becoming almost humorous. You can't scare me into not feeling okay with it. I am an overprotective parent already and a pro at thinking of the worst case scenarios. Again I'll say it. I trust my mama instincts. If the situation feels right at the time, then I'll do what is best for myself and my family.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

Maybe they could not see the room but the OP is not going to be watching the door every single second either as she and her husband will be distracted with each other and swimming. And no I do not leave my child up in bed at night while I sit outside. I would never ever leave my child alone inside the house. It is actually against the law in many places as well and is considered neglect and abandonment. Even if the OP were not to be distracted and could possibly watch that door every single second she can not possible see inside that room. Another example of how badly things could go: Have you never heard of kids playing in water and either getting burnt really bad from it or even worst drowning to death? A baby monitor is no help in this situation as before you could reach them it would most probably be too late. The damage would be done. There are other things to consider besides fire and abduction. The argument that the kids will be asleep does not fly either because they could wake at any moment. We all know that it only takes seconds for things to go horribly wrong.

Leaving your child alone in a resort room is even worst than leaving them in your home while you sit outside IMO as you do not know who may have a key to that room either.

As for the argument of well we did this or that as a kid or my parents/grandparents allowed this or that- I believe that times are just different today. When I was a kid I rode my bike all the time alone and stayed out until dark but I would not feel safe allowing my kids to do this. The world is just a different place today. We are living in far different and IMO more dangerous times.

As for the pp's that said this mother is a good mother and very caring I am sorry if this sounds harsh but I do not think so. A good mother would not be asking this type of question. The only parent that would ask this are those that are selfish and are not looking at what is in the best interest of their children but at what works best for them. They want others to justify their bad decisions.

If you want to go to the pool without your kids than do what others have suggested and hire a sitter. If you are not comfortable with a stranger which I would not be either than bring one along from home or just skip the alone time at the pool altogether.

I'm surprised that you judge others so harshly when you yourself have specific different "parenting" opinions(that I oddly agree with) you have posted that are also classified by others as "selfish and doing what works best for you". Perhaps that makes you a bad uncaring mother?
Perhaps you should think before you speak.

 

[SoonerSarah]

I can't say its something that I would do, but that's likely more because I'm a fat blob and don't want other people seeing me in my swimming suit. Then again, ideal circumstances....

You can't predict the future. Could something bad happen? Absolutely. Could something bad happen while at home? While doing all of the normal everyday things that you do to protect your children? Absolutely. Really, I think it's more likely to happen at home.

Good luck scoping out a place for your future visit!

I'm curious if anyone has seen the video where a Mom was shopping with her baby in the infant carseat. The video where she pushes the cart along, stops, turns to face the food, picks up something and in that space of time, a woman kidnaps her baby. Kidnapper didn't make it out of the store, but she could have.

I think that things like the media have turned us somewhat into nuts. Many, many horrible things happened to children decades ago. Quite possibly more than what happens now. But they didn't have the media and Nancy Grace all over it the second that it happened, giving and projecting every detail of the story.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

I can't say its something that I would do, but that's likely more because I'm a fat blob and don't want other people seeing me in my swimming suit. Then again, ideal circumstances....

I'll be 29.5 weeks pregnant when we go, which is a large part of why soaking in the pool after a long hot day at the park sounds so divine. I will proudly show my own fat blobbiness just to hang off the pool edge and soak. LOL

 

[SoonerSarah]

I'll be 29.5 weeks pregnant when we go, which is a large part of why soaking in the pool after a long hot day at the park sounds so divine. I will proudly show my own fat blobbiness just to hang off the pool edge and soak. LOL

Well, but pregnant is cute! I went swimming when I was hugely pregnant (like, in my last few weeks) with one of my girls. Didn't care so much then because everyone thought the maternity suit was cute. And yes, proudly show of your baby belly!

 

[maxiesmom]

Even if the OP had a room right next to the pool, I doubt their eyes would be on the doorway the whole time they swam. Or on a baby monitor looking for the light to flash either.

It sounds like the OP wants to do it, and will find any excuse the can to make it ok. In reality, it isn't ok in the slightest. You don't leave a bunch of small children alone in a hotel room. To me, it is just ridiculous to contemplate doing so. That is my opinion, which is what you posted looking for. Opinions.

 

[tonums]

Just wanted to say this is completely NOT true. You don't have to be a Pop guest (although I'm sure there are criminals that stay as guests at WDW) or show any kind of ID. All you have to do, is jump on a Pop bus. You can do it from any of the theme parks or DTD. I'm sure plenty of ppl. get on Pop property without being a guest.

True, didn't think of that. I am sure criminals want to take a disney bus into a complex when there are 10 million other hotels that they can walk right up to though. Really, theres no escape plan there. Lets say they grab your kid, in a room right next to the pool, where are they gonna go? Are there bushes, paths? yes. Is this at all a likely scenerio? No.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

OP, if you end up in a room where this is possible, and you don't fall asleep before your kids (chasing a 2 year old through the parks while pregnant can do that to you). I think you have a fine plan.

You know your kids. I assume that you have a normal 2 year old who makes lots of noise when he's in trouble, and an older sibling who would wake up and get you if needed. I also assume that your kids are not going to panic if they wake up in a strange room (although maybe waiting until night two just on the off chance that the first night is disorienting), and will remember that you're just outside the door.

I also trust that you are sensible enough that if you happen to win the lottery after doing this, and upgrade to the Beach Club next time you will notice the lack of exterior doors and weigh that into deciding whether to continue. For that matter, I also assume that if you return to a value for another trip and end up on the other side of the building, far from the pool you'll put two and two together too.

I'd actually rather have my kids alone for a few extra hours before they came to look for me and my also dead husband, than have them be the ones to find my body. I think the latter is even more traumatic. However, I also think the odds of 2 simultaneous heart attacks are so slight that planning around it is not something I do.

My only thoughts are, don't spend too much time fantasizing about it in case you get a room outside your comfort range and end up disappointed, warn the kids before they go to sleep so they know where to find you, and, if it works out, have fun! I also assume that you already knew those things.

I think it's interesting that you're the one being accused of "making excuses", when some of those that I listed above

 

[cinmell]

No, I have never never left my kids sleeping alone in a hotel room and I never would. I especially wouldn't leave them alone in a hotel room if they were almost 6, 8 & 2. No way.

If you are swimming, the room obviously won't be in your sight the whole time. As for the monitor, if you are in the pool, do you really think you will hear it? And what if other people are in the pool or in the pool area, you won't hear it. You can't take it in the water with you.

 

[Wadecool]

OP, it seems pretty obvious that you were/are planning to leave your kids alone in the room the whole time. So what was the point of this thread? Maybe you were hoping other folks would sooth your guilty conscience and help you justify what you were always going to do anyway? Make no mistake about it, what you are suggesting is wrong, and is the kind of thing that will warrant a visit from Child Protective Services. If you don't believe that, just call your local office and ask them what they think about it.

 

[kidshop]

The best, most rational things, can be spun to look any which way we want. Look at the stuff in the news, lawsuits and the like. McDonalds is still seen as an innocent victim taken by someone who spilled her coffee. People don't even understand that they had been KNOWN to serve their coffee SO HOT that it required *skin grafts* on this woman! I have NO expectation that coffee is going to be served that hot, and there's no real need for it, either. They lost b/c they SHOULD have lost. OR people who bring up "the woman that called the cops b/c she didn't get her chicken nuggets". Yeah, they took her money and wouldn't give her her food OR a refund...she was being robbed...calling the police was perfectly fine to do.

But those have been spun so they look bad, so all people remember is the headline. For those of us who read beyond the headline and beneath the fold (aka "scrolling down" on a computer screen), spin doesn't matter one single little bit.

So to wonder how it would look to others so weak-minded that they believe the headlines? I just can't live my life that way.

Yes, and people can rationalize anything in order to justify doing what they want. I fail to see how leaving the kids is rational and best? Call me crazy, but taking turns going out with the other parent would be rational and bestif swimming is the most important thing, or sitting directly outside the room if alone time is the most important thing......(mumbling to self)

If the headline is "Parents leave 3 small children alone in hotel room to go swimming" I will wonder why they left them alone...

 

[kelma]

Well my gut instinct was "NO!" and I try to follow my gut in decisions like this. I'm not even sure I have a great answer, but I do think I would be afraid that I wouldn't be able to hear the monitor or that my child would wake up and be disoriented and terrified because they weren't at home. I am sorry that so many of the posts have been so unkind

Ironically, this whole thing may be moot. It looks like you're staying at POP on your next trip. While I've never stayed at CBR, I have stayed at POP a few times, and I don't remember any of the pools being as close to a hotel room as the one at CBR you mentioned. Certainly not 10 feet away. Your best bet would be the Hippy Dippy Pool, but it is pretty loud. From your posts, you seem like a conscientious, loving mom and I'm not sure you'll feel comfortable leaving your kids once you actually see the layout in person.

Have a wonderful trip!

Kelma - mom to 2 little princes and 2 little princesses

 

[LaurenLC]

As I already posted previously , I am curious. I figured there would be different views and wanted to hear them. I never asked for advice to make a decision.

Again...I posted out of curiosity because I am completely aware of the black and white differences of opinions I have seen on here and wondered what the group consensus would be.
I am an overprotective parent for the most part, but I trust my mama instincts above and beyond. If I feel okay about this, I know it is okay.

Just wondering how you can allow a complete and total stranger *into* your room to watch your kids, yet you can't sit at a pool table 5-10 feet from your hotel room and facing the door? Really? Because I couldn't even imagine doing anything remotely similar to that. How do you know what type of person is sitting in the dark hotel room with your kids? How will you ever know what went on while you were away. How scared would your children be when they woke up and found a complete and total stranger trying to comfort them? (((shudder)))

(bolding is mine) With two people being aware of the door and with a monitor in our face, I highly doubt we would miss hearing the door close.



Thank you! The only difference between this CSR area and the CBR area is the shape of the building. If I hadn't know it was CSR, I would swear it was CBR. Leave it to someone on the DIS to have the exact picture I am meaning of a tiny nook and cranny spot at one of the resorts.



(bolding above mine)Of course we would do that(and have) if we were not attempting to spend some quiet time *together*. Kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think?

(bolding above mine)Why would I not be aware of someone knocking on the door if I were feet away? Did you read any of my other posts?



Exactly.



My family knows full well what a protective freak I am. They would have my back 110%. Every post I have made on every board I frequent screams of my concern for my kids...researching everything, trusting few, and highly protective, to a fault. My family and friends would trust that if I thought it was fine, then it was. As far as what the public would think. Who cares. See above sentence.

Believe me, I know the bad can happen. I'm not a 20 year kid. I'm nearly 40 with 3 kids and one on the way. I've been through a lot in my life and am fully aware of how colorless life is when all you do is over-think all the bad that *could* and sometimes happens.


Thank you so much for that.


Yes, obviously you haven't or you would know that there are no similarities at all with this situation...or you haven't read an ounce of this thread.



(bolding 1 mine) It is a matter of opinion.
(bolding 2 mine) Here, let me make this a little bit larger since you obviously haven't read my posts on this thread. If you have, you must have missed it several times...
I WAS CURIOUS! I WASN'T TRYING FOR ADVICE! I AM AWARE THAT THERE WOULD BE OTHER OPINIONS AND I WANTED TO HEAR THEM OUT OF CURIOSITY AND AT THIS POINT, PURE AMUSEMENT!

Okay, you obviously haven't read any of the posts either.
I stated, "right circumstance" or we wouldn't do it. I stated that the CBR quiet pool we stayed near last time was dead in the evening and we were there peak season. I stated that we would *NOT* be swimming around the pool, but hanging on the edge chatting, facing the door with monitor sitting in front of us, and spending time together.

If I were facing the door, even 25 feet away, why would I not see one of my children leaving the room???


Bumbershoot, if I am remembering correctly, I usually agree with your posts about 100% of the time.
Wanted to mention that the CBR rooms by the pool that I am speaking of are identical to the CSR picture posted, except that the building shape is different. Same set up, same distance to the pool, etc.

In reference to all the questions regarding my sig. and staying at POP. I haven't ever been there before. I have stayed at value resorts long ago, but not POP. We have only stayed at moderate resorts in the past lots of years which is why I referenced those. I thought to scope out the rooms to determine if it was possible at POP to be feet from our room.
Like I said previously, I would have to walk around and check out the layout and rooms before checking in. If all they have are what I remember from music and movies, my "check-list" wouldn't be met. Even the preferred rooms are a bit too far from the pool edge and the main pools are extremely noisy and crowded at all hours of the night. Someone early on *did* say that they had a room at POP where the pool was "steps away from their door". So I would have to check that out. I have considered upgrading to a moderate. I haven't made up my mind about that yet. I am a serial "day adder" and "resort changer" so my ticker isn't always accurate. At the moment, it is.

Thanks for sharing your opinions with me. The good, the bad and the ugly. LOL

Based on your reactions to people's views it doesn't really seem like you wanted to hear them.

 

[powellrj]

Even if the OP had a room right next to the pool, I doubt their eyes would be on the doorway the whole time they swam. Or on a baby monitor looking for the light to flash either.

It sounds like the OP wants to do it, and will find any excuse the can to make it ok. In reality, it isn't ok in the slightest. You don't leave a bunch of small children alone in a hotel room. To me, it is just ridiculous to contemplate doing so. That is my opinion, which is what you posted looking for. Opinions.

I second your opinion because you said it better than I could!