Have/would you leave your kids sleeping alone in the room and go f/swim? *SEE #159*

[marmalade]

It is not the 6 yr old or the 8 yr old, but the 2 year old that most are responding about! Would your really have left your kids at 2 and 4?
Op your later posts have some backpedaling. Maybe it is more detail, maybe you realize how bad your first post sounded and want to amend it. Don't know why you posted in the first place, other than as you snidely put it somewhere in this mess..so you could have a laugh.
I am walking away from this thread with total disgust.

If my 2 and 4 year olds were sleeping in a room where I could see the door with an 8 year old in the room and I had a baby monitor yes I would feel very comfortable being by the pool in the picture that the OP provided.

 

[sam_gordon]

I'm curious... for those who wouldn't do this (I'm included)... at what age (children) IS this something you would do?

The sticking point to me is the 2yo. Now, if the youngest was 6 or 7, and older sibling was at least 9, I'd be all for this.

We regularly leave our 5yo & 7yo home alone with our 12yo to run to the store or to pick up dinner. Our oldest started riding the bus home (empty house) @ 11 and managed for hours before DW got home. We would not leave the two younger ones without the older.

 

[maxiesmom]

I'm curious... for those who wouldn't do this (I'm included)... at what age (children) IS this something you would do?

The sticking point to me is the 2yo. Now, if the youngest was 6 or 7, and older sibling was at least 9, I'd be all for this.

We regularly leave our 5yo & 7yo home alone with our 12yo to run to the store or to pick up dinner. Our oldest started riding the bus home (empty house) @ 11 and managed for hours before DW got home. We would not leave the two younger ones without the older.

And the kids are actually 1, 5, and 7 in age. They are "almost" 2, 6, and 8.

 

[sam_gordon]

And the kids are actually 1, 5, and 7 in age. They are "almost" 2, 6, and 8.

And your point is? A 20 month old is closer in ability to a 2 yo then they are to a 1 yo. A child who is 7 years, 10 months is closer to 8 then they are to 7.

I don't know when the kids' birthdays are, but that doesn't really factor into the question I asked (which you didn't answer). At what age is this ok to do? Do all the kids need to be 16? Does the youngest need to be 12 with a 17yo younger sibling? Where's the cutoff?

 

[katla33]

Um, no. I wouldn't do that.

 

[maxiesmom]

And your point is? A 20 month old is closer in ability to a 2 yo then they are to a 1 yo. A child who is 7 years, 10 months is closer to 8 then they are to 7.

I don't know when the kids' birthdays are, but that doesn't really factor into the question I asked (which you didn't answer). At what age is this ok to do? Do all the kids need to be 16? Does the youngest need to be 12 with a 17yo younger sibling? Where's the cutoff?

The point is on every other post the OP lists her kids by their actual ages, she doesn't inflate them to the nearest birthday. Makes the fact that she did so here awful fishy.

I wouldn't even think of leaving multiple younger children alone in a room without someone who was at least 12 years of age with them. A typical 12 year old is babysitting, and can deal with a 1 year old who wakes up wondering where mommy and daddy are. I don't think a 7 year old can do that.

 

[mjkacmom]

Vijoge, what you say is true. When I was my daughter's age (8), I left at first light and didn't come home until dinner... then I was gone again until it was dark. I climbed trees, messed with snakes, explored abandoned buildings and much, much more.

The times have changed a LOT. It just isn't as safe as it used to be.!

I think times are WAY safer than when we were kids! Unfortunately, thanks to the media, it seems like things are more dangerous. I warn my kids about dangers than I was never warned about. My older kids have cellphones. I think the fact that parents are more paranoid today leads to children being too sheltered, and I would expect that the more sheltered a child is, the more likely that person (and eventual adult) would be more likely to become a victim later on (like a NYC tourist).

 

[kidshop]

I think times are WAY safer than when we were kids! Unfortunately, thanks to the media, it seems like things are more dangerous. I warn my kids about dangers than I was never warned about. My older kids have cellphones. I think the fact that parents are more paranoid today leads to children being too sheltered, and I would expect that the more sheltered a child is, the more likely that person (and eventual adult) would be more likely to become a victim later on (like a NYC tourist).

So leaving the kids sleeeping alone in a hotel so the parents can swim is actually beneficial for the kids? You know, so they won't be sheltered, and they can learn independence and self sufficiency at an early age? And parents who don't leave their kids alone on vacation are just paranoid?


Nice angle.

WHY can't the parents take turns swimming? Too much trouble? They don't want to?

There is no good reason to do this, rationalize all you want.

 

[momof3poohlovers]

I don't know when the kids' birthdays are, but that doesn't really factor into the question I asked (which you didn't answer). At what age is this ok to do? Do all the kids need to be 16? Does the youngest need to be 12 with a 17yo younger sibling? Where's the cutoff?

I really think it depends on the maturity of the older kids. I wouldn't leave my 13 month old alone with my 12 year old but he is very immature. I would however have left him alone with my 15 year old or 19 year old when they were 12 because they were very mature for their age. It also depends on where we were. I would more likely leave them alone if we were at home than a hotel but that is because I am more comfortable at home where I know if something were to happen, I have neighbors around who my kids know and are comfortable with. Leaving them alone at a resort, if something were to happen, they don't have anyone to call who is right next door. Now I know that the OP never said she was leaving them alone, I was just giving an example of what I would do as far as leaving my kids alone.

That is why I hate these kinds of threads. Things really are so subjective and parents parent according to their own life experiences. When I first read this thread, this is all that was posted:

I'm hoping we can see our room door from the pool so dh and I can go for a swim with the baby monitor nearby after the kids are asleep. I wouldn't feel comfortable unless we could see the door and hear with the baby monitor. Anyone else do this or feel okay doing this? Our kids will be almost 6 and 8, and a 2yo.

I was one of the first people to respond to the OP and I have to admit, that I was envisioning her being at a resort where she could see the door if she strained and all the while she was swimming in the pool while the baby monitor was sitting on a table somewhere. This is why I first mentioned the Madelyne McCann reference because the only information I had at the time was the above quote and in that case, the scenario would be similar, not the same but similar. The OP later added information but the above quote is all I had to go on.

I also mentioned the issue of fire because we have had personal experience with one. So our life experiences can sometimes play a factor in our parenting and how we respond to threads. I don't know if anyone read about the fire at a day care center in Texas but google "Texas day care fire" and read about it. I had just read the story and was mortified. I doubt that Day Care Provider never imagined a fire would start in the time it took her to run to the store. Now, obviously, I am NOT saying that the OP was planning on leaving her kids and running to a grocery store. Things do happen in real life that you don't expect. And yes, I know, you are more likely to get killed in the car on the way to Disney but should that mean just because I am more likely to die that way then I can be reckless? I am just saying when you have limited information at first and then add my own personal life experiences, I may not react the same as you.

Now I have to agree some people are going way overboard with their what ifs but you don't know what has happened in their lives to make them feel that way. Those of you who were laughing that I wouldn't leave my 13 month old alone in the house while I went swimming in my pool can laugh all you want. I realize that the odds of a fire are one in a million but it happened to me and so I am paranoid about it happening and won't risk him being in the house while I am outside swimming. People need to stop attacking each other and OP I really hope you didn't just post this question to sit back and watch the drama unfold. If you did, that is really sad.

 

[miprender]

Here is what would happen, 1. Kids fall asleep. 2. Parents go to change into swimming suits. 3. Youngest wakes up and sees parents in said swimsuits, proceeds to cry, demanding to go with. 4. Older kids wake up from commotion, ask "Why do you only do fun stuff after we go to bed!" demand to swim as well. 5. Parents get to watch kids swim while sitting by the pool. To me the most hypothetical situation on here is parents being able to pull off swimming without the kids knowing!

That is what would happen in this family.

 

[MelanieMichelle]

I think times are WAY safer than when we were kids! Unfortunately, thanks to the media, it seems like things are more dangerous. I warn my kids about dangers than I was never warned about. My older kids have cellphones. I think the fact that parents are more paranoid today leads to children being too sheltered, and I would expect that the more sheltered a child is, the more likely that person (and eventual adult) would be more likely to become a victim later on (like a NYC tourist).

I totally agree! If you look at the actual statistics life has never been safer for children in the whole of recorded history (including the so-called "good old days" of our own youth), and yet the media makes it seem like danger lurks around every corner.

Not to mention contributing to the obesity crisis by not letting children play outside enough or climb on jungle gyms because of the risk of falling

 

[cassandrap83]

WHY can't the parents take turns swimming? Too much trouble? They don't want to?

There is no good reason to do this, rationalize all you want.

Are you serious? It's not about the parents wanting to SWIM. It's about the parents wanting some alone time, together without the kids.

I want the same thing whenever we go on vacation, but my kids are far too young to leave in a hotel room alone (5 & 4). I would never, ever do it. If we want more privacy, or the ability to be alone, we book a multi-room unit.

 

[Vijoge]

If you look at the actual statistics life has never been safer for children in the whole of recorded history (including the so-called "good old days" of our own youth), and yet the media makes it seem like danger lurks around every corner.

Not to mention contributing to the obesity crisis by not letting children play outside enough or climb on jungle gyms because of the risk of falling

At my granddaughter's school the kids aren't even allowed to run at recess.

 

[Wadecool]

Are you serious? It's not about the parents wanting to SWIM. It's about the parents wanting some alone time, together without the kids.

I want the same thing whenever we go on vacation, but my kids are far too young to leave in a hotel room alone (5 & 4). I would never, ever do it. If we want more privacy, or the ability to be alone, we book a multi-room unit.

You do realize that 2 of the OP's kids are within the age range that you're agreeing is too young to be left alone, right? I also agree with you that there's nothing wrong with alone time for parents on vacation with kids. But there's a right way to do it (multi room rental, bringing along an extended family member, etc) and a wrong way which has been thoroughly detailed in the past 15 pages.

 

[Smithkids]

Wow...interesting thread, to say the least!

I just wanted to add my 2 cents worth in here...I think that it is fair for the parents to want some time away from the kids. I don't know how it is with most of the families on this board, but both myself and DH work FT...the kids go to school/preschool. We are not with each other 24 hours each day for 8 days straight like we'll be while at Disney. We recently had a big snowstorm and schools were closed for almost a week straight. I stayed home from work to be with the kids- I couldn't WAIT to go back to work!!!!

Anyway, my DH and I plan to spend a few hours alone (without our DD4 and DD8) when we head to WDW next month- but we've made a reservation for them at the kids club at our resort. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself if I had to keep checking my door and listening intently for the baby monitor. What would be the point? Doesn't sound very romantic or relaxing...

So- my advice for the OP and anyone else considering leaving their younger kids alone: book a couple of hours at the childcare center or make a reservation for one of the outside babysitting services. Then go out with your husband/wife for some dinner, maybe a dip in the pool. And just think...if you leave the kids in the childcare center- you'll have the hotel room empty and all to yourselves!!

 

[Leajess99]

Self-justification...get a grip. It's called stating the actual facts and clarifying for those who are too busy or lazy to read the facts posted throughout the thread.
What is unbelievable is that you are so irrational on the subject while 1/2 on this thread are not. What exactly does that say? You think your parenting view is the only opinion that counts? Luckily not.
Flaunt CPS as much as you like. I would feel absolutely fine speaking with them. It is absolutely not a fact that you can have your kids taken away for this. Get your facts straight. Risk and potential danger. This is the problem, you understand. There isn't any. What you deem "risk and potential" danger, I don't.
If it were up to me parents who lock their kids in their rooms and/or let them cry to sleep at night would be putting their children at risk and in potential danger. Parents who over-vaccinate their children without a thought would be putting their children at risk and in potential danger. Parents who spank are putting their children at risk and in potential danger. Mothers who don't breastfeed are putting their children at risk and in danger. Parents who smoke are putting their kids at risk and in danger...etc. etc. etc. There are too many parenting choices and everyone has a totally different idea of how they make them. That's why we are all allowed to make our own parenting choices. Get off your high horse and focus your negative energy on something that counts.

ETA: I am not condemning parents who do not do the things I listed above, just using those things as an example.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but yes you can have your children taken by CPS for leaving them unattanded. Seen it done many times. We recently had a mom lose her kids for leaving them unattended while she was at a neighbor's house. Now she gets to fight to get them back. They are too little to be left alone.

You can argue all you want to try and prove what a great overprotective mother you are BUT what you are proposing is by no means showing that. I have been to POP and not once were any of the pools quiet nor were any of the rooms "10 feet away".

When I go one family vacations I much prefer to spend time with my whole family. Heck, my youngest (we have been going to Disney since she was 5) has never gone to bed that early while at Disney. She goes until she passes out and by that time the rest of us are ready for sleep as well.

 

[Leajess99]

My kids would not freak and the view is not obscured.

I do not require justification or anyone agree with me. I will not however sit by while posters "get personal". It's one thing to either agree or blatantly disagree. It's quite another to make it personal. KWIM?

You claim you have NEVER been to POP so how do you know what the view looks like??? And yes it is obscured in many places. POP is also a huge resort so getting the room you want is not all that likely.

 

[mjkacmom]

So leaving the kids sleeeping alone in a hotel so the parents can swim is actually beneficial for the kids? You know, so they won't be sheltered, and they can learn independence and self sufficiency at an early age? And parents who don't leave their kids alone on vacation are just paranoid?


Nice angle.

WHY can't the parents take turns swimming? Too much trouble? They don't want to?

There is no good reason to do this, rationalize all you want.

No, I wouldn't leave my kids in a hotel room. I am just tired of all of these parents saying that things are just so much more dangerous today. And I have, on many occassion, been outside when my kids have been inside sleeping. The hotel room would be a new enviroment for my kids, and I would worry they'd wake a panic.

 

[Zeebs]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but yes you can have your children taken by CPS for leaving them unattanded. Seen it done many times. We recently had a mom lose her kids for leaving them unattended while she was at a neighbor's house. Now she gets to fight to get them back. They are too little to be left alone.

You can argue all you want to try and prove what a great overprotective mother you are BUT what you are proposing is by no means showing that. I have been to POP and not once were any of the pools quiet nor were any of the rooms "10 feet away".

When I go one family vacations I much prefer to spend time with my whole family. Heck, my youngest (we have been going to Disney since she was 5) has never gone to bed that early while at Disney. She goes until she passes out and by that time the rest of us are ready for sleep as well.

The OP has said though that if the variables weren't exactly as she explained she wouldn't be doing it. So given there is no pool that close to the room she won't be doing it.

It is grand that you like to spend every waking moment with your children, I don't I get to spend every waking moment with my kids normally - which is why when we go on holiday we like to hire a house so that we can have some adult alone time that we don't get that much at home. At said house we are actually further away from the kids and can't see them and I can tell you we will be sitting out by the pool maybe even in it. My kids can't do long days such as you are explaining so knowing my family as I do it is best that they get a good night sleep before we go again the next day.

If everything went down as the OP stated and child services came around then by that manner they would also need to come around to those who sit outside their hotel rooms as they have left their children unattended in a room.

I still think this is a case of if you don't feel comfortable doing it don't do it, but in the right circumstances I would.

Kirsten

 

[maxiesmom]

No, I wouldn't leave my kids in a hotel room. I am just tired of all of these parents saying that things are just so much more dangerous today. And I have, on many occassion, been outside when my kids have been inside sleeping. The hotel room would be a new enviroment for my kids, and I would worry they'd wake a panic.

That is what it really comes down to for me too. There is too big of a chance one or more of the kids would wake up, and being in a strange place freak out. Those kids will not be as comfortable or feel as secure in a strange hotel room as they would feel at home. And it is a lot to ask of a 7 year old to handle, for themselves, and for the younger kiddies.