Genuinely curious about wanting a private table

[Cackyschmackers]

Ironic considering how we're all strangers chatting on the internet

In our own private spaces, on our own time, and on only what we choose.

 

[Disney_Princess83]

My daughter is a Physical Therapist and without fail at parties is asked for diagnoses and exercise programs! Now when asked what she does for a living, she will give a vague "I am a consultant in the medical field".

This happens to me often. I just meet people and they start giving me their life stories or start "Well I've been having this problem......" giving me really personal information and then want advice. And when I say, go to your family doctor and ask for a referral to see a psychologist to get a proper assessment, plenty of people get miffed.

While I absolutely love talking to people and I love helping them (this is literally my job) it's rather difficult to provide a psychological assessment over a meal when I'm trying to eat, spend time with my family and speak with the wait staff as well.

 

[Aerin75]

We try to get away from people, not connect more deeply - even at a social level. Ironic considering how we're all strangers chatting on the internet.

Except for here, this (and my introversion) is exactly what keeps me from posting on the internet. I'd actually rather have a real conversation with someone, as stressful as it is. I feel like I'm backwards. But I am way off topic....

 

[cadien]

I had to chuckle at this because I'm sure my reaction would be exactly the same. Our last cruise we had a private table, and this cruise we requested one as well. I am an introvert in an extrovert's profession (children's librarian) and the thought of having to make small talk at meals on vacation is more than I can bear. I talk to people 7 hours a day five days a week. Having to be extroverted on a cruise would not be a vacation- it would be draining and exhausting!

Whereas I'm a cataloger so normally I don't get to talk to anyone!

We're going to do shared dining because of our social butterfly kid. With any luck we'll get another family whose kid never stops talking and all parents can eat in peace while they entertain each other.

 

[kaseyC]

I think the way American culture has changed since WWII, concepts like classic dining are fading away. We try to get away from people, not connect more deeply - even at a social level. Ironic considering how we're all strangers chatting on the internet.

It's to be expected though, with the way our lifestyles have changed. My DH works long hours and travels quite a bit. I have one daughter away in college and the past few summers when she is home she's been commuting downtown for her marketing internships. My youngest two daughters are involved in cheer and dance which is basically year round with practices, competitions and games. Vacations are almost the only time we consistently have dinner together as a family. Maybe some may consider it selfish, but I don't want to spend that time (precious to me) in awkward conversation with strangers. I'll happily chat you up in a tasting, in the concierge lounge or at the pool but I want dinner with only my family.

 

[volfan1978]

To me this thread is really simple...the human race consists of extroverts and introverts. Extroverts are excited by the prospect of meeting new people and engaging in conversation. Introverts prefer to interact with people with whom they already have a relationship. Extroverts can seem intrusive and overly chatty to introverts. Introverts can seem stuck-up and impolite to extroverts.

People are just different by nature...and that's absolutely fine.

 

[Anchors Away 2016]

I think the way American culture has changed since WWII, concepts like classic dining are fading away. We try to get away from people, not connect more deeply - even at a social level. Ironic considering how we're all strangers chatting on the internet.

In our own private spaces, on our own time, and on only what we choose.

I think you are both right, and I think that together they do explain a lot of why a growing number of people don't like the small talk that used to be considered basic. Some people say that "real" connections are in decline, but honestly, how is a superficial conversation at dinner with strangers more real than talking with people about in depth topics of mutual interest? People are still connecting, just in new ways. Granted, talking about cruising isn't exactly philosophy or art, but it is still more substantive than many conversations people seem to want to have at parties, etc. And sites exist to talk about those things online if you are so inclined.

Introverts or Extroverts, or unlabled, I'm glad you have all chosen to come here and interact with the rest of us! I'm certainly getting a lot out of it, and I hope you are too!

 

[Dug720]

I think you are both right, and I think that together they do explain a lot of why a growing number of people don't like the small talk that used to be considered basic. Some people say that "real" connections are in decline, but honestly, how is a superficial conversation at dinner with strangers more real than talking with people about in depth topics of mutual interest? People are still connecting, just in new ways. Granted, talking about cruising isn't exactly philosophy or art, but it is still more substantive than many conversations people seem to want to have at parties, etc. And sites exist to talk about those things online if you are so inclined.

Introverts or Extroverts, or unlabled, I'm glad you have all chosen to come here and interact with the rest of us! I'm certainly getting a lot out of it, and I hope you are too!

And again, after the first night, they are NOT "strangers" in the true sense of the word.

 

[little_orange_bird]

Whereas I'm a cataloger so normally I don't get to talk to anyone!

We're going to do shared dining because of our social butterfly kid. With any luck we'll get another family whose kid never stops talking and all parents can eat in peace while they entertain each other.

Your plan sounds so fun for you though! I can totally understand why you're hoping for that!!!

 

[RedSox68]

Hello fellow disboard librarian! I know what you mean- our cataloger sits in a back office away from the public all day

Your plan sounds so fun for you though! I can totally understand why you're hoping for that!!!

I am on the opposite spectrum -- I work in a library as the circulation clerk. I spend 5 days a week dealing with students, faculty and public patrons non-stop. Somedays are more overwhelming than others with traffic in and out of the library. So when I get on a cruise, I want to be as far away from expected socialization as possible for those 5 or 7 or 10 days and let my mind rest

 

[little_orange_bird]

You got it, @RedSox68 ! That's how I feel!! As someone who works with the public, I'm always upfront with the public and always "on"--I need a break too!

 

[gruffudd242]

For Us, it falls in that I'm a rather strong introvert, and I absolutely dislike, what I perceive as, forced social interaction. I can deal with it if necessary, but its not my cup of tea and I can get stressed/anxious in those situations. SInce I'm on vacation I rather keep those times to a minimum

 

[markryanmc]

We have cruised many times on several lines. We always dined with others, sometimes it was great to meet new folks and sometimes it was great entertainment. My wife is a teacher. The cruise that changed our minds was the one that the other couple brought their child's homework so that my wife could review it and provide guidance... They added to the work load by asking way too many questions about their own child and his school, teacher, work load, etc... Dinner ended up being work. We now dine alone.

 

[RedSox68]

We have cruised many times on several lines. We always dined with others, sometimes it was great to meet new folks and sometimes it was great entertainment. My wife is a teacher. The cruise that changed our minds was the one that the other couple brought their child's homework so that my wife could review it and provide guidance... They added to the work load by asking way too many questions about their own child and his school, teacher, work load, etc... Dinner ended up being work. We now dine alone.

How did they know your wife was a teacher ahead of time so they'd know to bring the schoolwork? That is not only incredibly intrusive, but extremely rude and stressful for your wife. It is a shame you didn't ask for another table.

 

[markryanmc]

How did they know your wife was a teacher ahead of time so they'd know to bring the schoolwork? That is not only incredibly intrusive, but extremely rude and stressful for your wife. It is a shame you didn't ask for another table.

The first night was pleasant conversation, what we all do for a living, where we all live. When the other couple found out that she is a teacher the flood gates opened. It was after the first evening that they brought the homework to dinner. It was irritating enough that we skipped at least one dinner. My wife often finds herself in conversations where her profession dominates, but she can easily make it light when it is not family or a close friend. Vacation is not really the place for this.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

The first night was pleasant conversation, what we all do for a living, where we all live. When the other couple found out that she is a teacher the flood gates opened. It was after the first evening that they brought the homework to dinner. It was irritating enough that we skipped at least one dinner. My wife often finds herself in conversations where her profession dominates, but she can easily make it light when it is not family or a close friend. Vacation is not really the place for this.

I'd make it clear the first time that happened that I'm on vacation, and am not your child's teacher.

 

[MUN]

We have cruised many times on several lines. We always dined with others, sometimes it was great to meet new folks and sometimes it was great entertainment. My wife is a teacher. The cruise that changed our minds was the one that the other couple brought their child's homework so that my wife could review it and provide guidance... They added to the work load by asking way too many questions about their own child and his school, teacher, work load, etc... Dinner ended up being work. We now dine alone.

I'm sorry that happened, but that's actually kind of funny. Not for you of course, especially at the time, but for me, I got a good chuckle of out it. On the bright side, look at the good story you have.

 

[Dug720]

I'd make it clear the first time that happened that I'm on vacation, and am not your child's teacher.

Exactly!

And if it was somehow not at a time when I knew the school was out (as in if I knew they were not from NYC but I was off because it was a time when NYC schools have Spring Break much later than most of the country because it always corresponds with Passover which does not always match with Easter) I would be very hard pressed to not comment that if the child was having problems with the concepts taught in class, perhaps they should not be taking said child out of school - where I'd bet the lessons in the classroom would have covered what the kid had issues with.

 

[because]

Wow, I'm just shocked at the negativity here. Never once has anyone at our table pried into our private lives and if they did, I'd politely deflect and change the subject. You're on a ship with thousands of people and you don't want anyone to talk to you or your children? I'm not saying that you have to constantly converse with your tablemates or become life long friends. I view travel as a way of exposing yourself to people of all different cultures.

Wanting to dine with your family alone is not negative, it is just different. Neither is wrong nor right, just different priorities for the perfect vacation. You view travel as exposing yourself to people of all different cultures. Many, including myself, view travel as a way to reconnect with family and dinnertime tends to be our favorite time to connect. Again, different priorities. I don't think anyone said that they didn't ever want anyone to talk to them the entire cruise. I read the exact opposite in that there are plenty of opportunities throughout the day to converse with people. Dinnertime for some is their family time.

If you feel your opportunities to make friends is being limited by people preferring private tables, there are plenty of other opportunities to take advantage of on the boat to strike up conversations and learn about people. Don't limit yourself to dinnertime.

I think the way American culture has changed since WWII, concepts like classic dining are fading away. We try to get away from people, not connect more deeply - even at a social level. Ironic considering how we're all strangers chatting on the internet.

Dirk

It is not just American culture. It has changed everywhere. In the past, we did not have 24x7 streaming information. We didn't have the internet to constantly interact with people. One of the only ways back then to learn about others was through personal contact. Today's population is in information overload. It is no wonder that instead of seeking people out, many want to back away from more information, more contact, more stimulation and just want to simplify by spending time with their immediate families.

 

[because]

I'd make it clear the first time that happened that I'm on vacation, and am not your child's teacher.

Unfortunately, if a family is that rude and not respecting boundaries to that extent, the likelihood of them all of a sudden respecting boundaries at dinner for the rest of the cruise is slim to none.

Exactly!

And if it was somehow not at a time when I knew the school was out (as in if I knew they were not from NYC but I was off because it was a time when NYC schools have Spring Break much later than most of the country because it always corresponds with Passover which does not always match with Easter) I would be very hard pressed to not comment that if the child was having problems with the concepts taught in class, perhaps they should not be taking said child out of school - where I'd bet the lessons in the classroom would have covered what the kid had issues with.

Right. The strongly worded statements and the harsh judgmental calls on their parenting styles would make the rest of the dinners with the tablemates such a joy. Better make sure you can be moved before insulting people's parenting decisions.